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My medical and mental health history in a nut shell...
Current mood: contemplative
I have recieved some very kind private messages and some that asked some very interesting questions. I am not ashamed of my mental health issues, nor am I ashamed of my health issues. A couple of these messages asked what exactly is my diagnoses, and as I have said I am neither shy or ashamed to share that with my internet family.
1. Secondary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis (spms)
2. Left temporal malignant mengianoma and Epilepsy(this after having a right temperal mengianoma removed that threw clotts into my system that caused substancial muscle death to accur in my left leg, that should explain why I both enjoy and understand Hugh Laurie's role as Gregory House in House MD. it also should explain my addiction to vicodin and darvon. As stated on my profile it really isn't a pain management problem it is truely a pain problem I will have for the rest of my life.)
3. Schizophrenia and Bipolarity 1 with Hypomania with suicidal tendencies (80 on BADD SCALE) (ok I shouldn't need to explain to you know why Stephen Fry is listed both as a hero and someone I would love to meet one day, see I was self medicating and seeking no help with these issues till I watch his documentary on Bipolarity)
4. PTSD (which is caused by many different things in many peoples lives, mine, which manifests as a Bipolar trigger is from watching my husband both dying slowly over time and then watching him die in a ICU unit after being told over and over that the extreme measures they took would make it so he would live longer, wow, from proceedure to death was 2 months)
5. Poor self esteem (this I should have listed with number three but felt it needed mentioned on its own.)
6. Phobias found in mental issues:
Agoraphobia = Fear of open spaces or crowds.(the reason the internet is so important to me)
Kakorrhaphiophobia = Fear of failure or defeat.
Clinophobia = Fear of going to bed. (Caused by Oneirophobia � Fear of dreams.)(common in people with PTSD)
Mnemophobia = Fear of memories.(see above)
Obesophobia = Fear of gaining weight.(being over weight for most of my life this manifested after my husband died, I dropped over 275 in 2 years since, not following a diet plan, by either not eating at all or throwing up anything I do eat, dual cause, husband's constant putting me down for my weight stating they I was lucky to have him cause no man would marry a fat, ugly bitch like me and by the fact that mentally I have even before I married saw myself the way he refered to me over 19 years of marriage.
I hope that answered some of your questions, but feel free to send me a private message if you still have questions.