| Day by Day |
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| If you return to the Main Page, we hope that you will sign our guestbook. We hope to share the encouragement and kind words with Maria someday. |
| 9/11/2006
Since I haven't been teaching every day, I lose track of the date. (We do calendar each morning in kindergarten.) Yet, I cannot forget this date, as hard as I try. It is forever etched in my mind. I think a part of all of us died that day...that secure, safe feeling we had before. I remember that the world looked SO different, and how I longed to go back to the night before when we had gone as a family (Lauren just a couple months old) to a football game. I also remember watching the t.v. in the lounge, thinking that I must be having a nightmare, then having to go back and teach my kids like nothing had happened. We will never forget all of the families touched by this day. Anyway, it has been an okay day. Not good, not bad. I am tired and not full of energy. Maria is feeling a bit ornery. And just some school stuff I am dealing with. And then there is the date...it just hangs over your head. Okay, I thought I would address a few FAQ's we have received since being home. Are you so excited? We get that one alot. It is a very innocent question, but very difficult to answer. Are we happy Maria is here? Yes. But I cannot say we are excited. Really, if you think about it, anything that invokes excitement is short lived...it is a temporary feeling. The excitement of a wedding? Fades over time, though I take the happy marriage any day. The excitement of giving birth is soon outweighed by the pure exhaustion. We were very excited, especially when we pulled away from the Hogar and she was in our arms...for keeps this time. (As long as God allows...) Now it is just part of our life. How are the other two kids adjusting? Hunter is happy she is home, but really, it doesn't interfere much with his life other than he has to be much more careful about what he leaves down. Lauren is thrilled to have a little sister. She wants very much to be involved...she wants to help change diapers, feed, play, etc. I am very proud of both of them for their acceptance of a new situation! |
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| 9/12/2006
Well, I have learned a few things in the last 24 hours. One is that I am not ever going to label the day when we are partway THROUGH the day. I made the mistake of calling yesterday an "okay" day. Bad move on my part. It ended up being pretty much an awful day. Maria was just a little difficult yesterday. I think by the time she went to bed, we all breathed a sigh of relief. (Not to be mean...she really needed sleep and we really needed her to sleep!) I had some issues with school, and then just some other odds and ends. It was NOT a fun day. Another thing I have learned or been reminded of is that even though I am a people pleaser, sometimes I will not be able to please everyone. It seems like there are a lot of people with opinions. Some outspoken, some more subtle. Some that don't surprise me at all, others that surprise me to no end. A lot of people have ideas on whether we should have adopted, how we will raise our children, how we communicate with Maria, whether I should work or not, how we conduct our household (No, we do not do family bed, nor are our days completely devoted to our children...sometimes laundry has to be done). This morning when I was trying to do my quiet time, praying for peace from the many forces we are dealing with, I realized that I am accountable to God and nobody else. We are praying daily to do the right things. As is the case with parenthood, we will always wonder what is the exact right thing. But the truth is, the kids didn't come with manuals, and Maria is no exception. We have to do what we think is right for her at this time. I cannot apologize for that and have to walk away from the guilt that comes with trying to please everyone, most of all myself. Today has been better. So far, though the day is only half done. I have just taken a break from entertaining and trying to be SuperMom. I actually have dug out a novel that I have wanted to read. Maria has been playing nearby or just observing as I read. Little has been said, though she was singing during lunch. I get up occasionally to do laundry and she is right at my heels. But for the most part, today has just been a relaxed day. Oh, and a big thank you to my co-worker Katie for being there for me last night and today. Thank you for just letting me vent and letting me share and letting me feel like me for a while. And a big thank you to my husband for sitting in the mud with me. You are my best friend; I am so blessed to have you with me on this journey of life.. Thanks for praying. |
| 9/13/2006
I will post more later (possibly) but if you have time, could you just say a prayer for us? I am dealing with a couple of tough situations (not directly related to Maria) and am just ill about both of them. (Physically ill) I don't know where to turn right now except to get down on my knees. God knows what they are.Thanks |
| I believe I lost a few posts when my computer shut itself down not long ago...sorry. :) |
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