| 2/13/2006 Well, another day without an update. Such is the adventure of adoption. We are waiting on a document (power of attorney) that we need to redo (since the abandonment has changed Maria's last name), and we are waiting to find out if that document that we are waiting on will delay the steps we are waiting upon (preapproval and family court). Lots of waiting! This is another case of where we are going to have trust God's timing. I cannot say it is getting easier, but it is part of this journey we are on right now. Anyway, 5:00 came and went without the Embassy's preapproval e-mail. (I really don't know when they stop sending those e-mails, but I would guess 5:00 is the latest) I have to admit, there is always that dash of hope before five, then a little disappointment each day at 5:00 with no word. And I find myself occasionally wondering, "Is it because I didn't pray enough?" Or "Maybe it was that ugly thought I had when someone honked at me today?" Or "I should have read more verses this morning". Okay, maybe you don't think that way. But I will be honest and say I do. I sometimes wonder what I did to not get the answer to prayer I wanted. But thankfully God doesn't work that way. "...for God is love. In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only gegotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins." 1 John 4:8b-10 As I read this verse, I was once again reminded (God likes to do that with me) that just as my eternal life comes from NOTHING I did, these prayer answers ("no" and "wait" instead of "YES") are not because of what I do either. Really to think that way/believe that way, I am sinning by being kind of prideful (thinking it is "all about me..."). God is love. He shows Himself to us, not us to Him. And just like I can't take credit for the good things that do happen (I sure wasn't responsible for that quick abandonment hearing, and it definitely wasn't because of my perfect nature :), I have to know that when the day ends and there is still no word, ultimately that was God's decision, not because of my imperfect ways. (I am not saying I shouldn't pray...but isn't prayer really for my faith?) And since I know God is a God of love, I will need to trust that He knows when the right time is for that e-mail to arrive. While I am waiting, I need to take my eyes off myself (hard to do...I am a selfish person at times) and put them on Him. I hope you have a Happy Valentine's Day tomorrow! We are sending a part of our heart to Guatemala. Maria, we hope next year that we can give you all of the hugs and kisses we want! |
| 2/11/06 "Let them praise the name of the Lord, For His name alone is exalted; His glory is above the earth and heaven." Psalms 148:13 As I have mentioned, the day we found out that Maria's abandonment was finally complete, I walked into the living room to deliver the news. I was shaking and almost in shock. We were IN the adoption process...finally! Hunter had a cold and ear infection. He was on the couch, under blankets, with a fever. He had been dozing on and off all day. When I announced the news, I started crying, Mark started beaming, and Hunter, with all of the strength he had, started yelling "Praise God! Praise God!" We have so much to praise God for, yet sometimes we (or at least I) forget! It took a child with a childlike faith to remind me. I have been thinking of all the things we have to praise God for. Of course, we have a page set up for that. But what about all of the other things that we often dismiss as "coincidence"? We need to praise God for the agency we are using. Project Oz thus far has been a HUGE help with our adoption. It is one of the few agencies I have found that will help with the authentication of our documents for our dossier. (Which saved me a great deal of time and stress) Or what about the fact that we started the adoption a couple of weeks before school which allowed me free days to find documents for our dossier. If it had been just a couple weeks later, we would have been in the beginning of school...which with kindergarten is utterly exhausting. Another thing I marvel at is the timing. When I found Maria's picture on the Internet, she was just the age we were hoping for. I was quite surrpised she was available...it is often difficult to find toddlers, especially girl toddlers. Later my mom commented that Maria was on the "forever families" page twice. Come to find out, she had been "accepted" as a "referral" at some point earlier in the year. It is very rare for referrals to change, but for some reason, whoever it was changed their mind. (I don't really know why, and I figure it is none of my business.) But you know what? I PRAISE God for that. Because that one little "incident" may be what was holding her for us! Isn't God's timing amazing? Or I think about our USCIS office which processes one of the necessary forms that says we can adopt. I had heard horror stories about how long it would take to get processed. Once our homestudy was complete, we had our 171-H in just TWO days. I also think about the amazing people I have met along the way, like the kind nun at the airport. When we were finally getting ready to fly into Guatemala, all of those little things started stressing me, like where would we exchange our money? She just happened to sit next to us. She has been living in Guatemala for a long time and answered all of my questions patiently. Then she even gave us her phone number should we need it. (Thankfully we didn't, but what peace to have that just in case!) Isn't God good? All of the time! And we do praise Him for that! |
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| If you return to the Main Page, we hope that you will sign our guestbook. We hope to share the encouragement and kind words with Maria someday. |
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| 2/12/2006 I had an entry all planned out in my mind this morning, then tonight we had a Bible Study that totally changed my direction for the day. Tonight I (Mark had a meeting) attended a new Bible Study on "New Generation Parenting". It is just a Biblically based study and discussion group on parenting needs in today's worlds. It is easy to sit back and think, "Well, I am getting this figured out", but I don't think I will ever have it all figured out. Tonight's verse is from Psalms 127:3-4. "Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth." One question we get asked frequently is "How much does adoption cost?" If you know me at all, you know that I am a pretty open book. It doesn't bother me. For a Guatemalan adoption, the cost is around 30,000 dollars. (I have heard that by the time you throw in travel costs for other countries, they all end up around the same.) Obviously, that was a major point of discussion when we were contemplating such a big decision. While we are not scraping pennies together (not at this moment :), we do have to watch our spending. The trip to an all inclusive resort in the Carribean for our 10th anniversary this year has now become a trip to Guatemala City (we hope) this summer. Our desire for new carpet has now become a bunk bed instead for the girls' room. Mark's new vehicle became a gently used one (for which we are very thankful!), and as much as he wants to, Mark will not be skiing again this year. It hasn't been easy. (There is a tax credit next year if we get finalized this year) And we do NOT like going in debt. We have fought so hard to not be in debt. But in the end, we had to have faith that we can do this with God's help. And we do believe children are a reward from God, no matter how they get here. And in the end, that will be more imprortant than a week in Florida or a newly decorated office. Just holding our little gift from above will be worth more than all of the money in the world. (I almost feel like a Mastercard commercial:) |
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