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| 4/6/2006 "But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perserverance." Romans 8:25 Well, we received a little update, but it wasn't any new information. We are still in family court and hope to be out soon. But we didn't find out anything about the Embassy which of course is where I have been focusing my prayers. (Are we submitted to the Embassy? What is the hold up? Etc.) So I am a little disappointed. I was hoping to know a little more. Again, I will have to rely on the Holy Spirit with prayers...I don't even know how to pray right now. I do have a BIG prayer request. We are applying for the kids' passports in the next couple of days. I am a little concerned. Hunter's birth certificate has a minor error with my middle name which means it will not perfectly match my driver's license. It is one of those things I noticed, but didn't think it would ever be a big deal. Of course, we only have 2 months to get this done, so getting a new birth certificate will not be easy. Please pray that it isn't a big issue. I don't know what we will do if we get to June and Hunter can't go! (not just because we have also purchased his ticket...he is excited about the trip. I am feeling a little better. Not quite as gloom and doom as yesterday and definitely more rested. But our hearts are still aching right now. Thank you for thinking about us and for the encouraging notes in the guestbook. I want to be open to God's will no matter how scary that is right now. Please pray for us to accept it. |
| 4/7/2006 "By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to the place which he would receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going." Hebrews 11:8 That verse is SO us right now. We do feel like we have obeyed God's call to adoption. And we have gone out to do it. But we don't have a CLUE where we are going. I think the key word here is faith. It is hard to not know where you are going. When I travel, I am a search the map girl. I want an atlas in my car at all time. I want to know exactly where I am going. But for this trip, I can't know. It is frustrating, I won't lie. I feel like I am driving blind. Trust me, that scare the beejeebies out of me (or however that is spelled!). But I am going to have to trust that even if I can't see, God can. He knows the final destination. I will just have to let Him lead. Speaking of not knowing...we have come to the sinking conclusion that more than likely we are STILL not submitted to the Embassy for pre-approval. I won't lie again...very disappointing. It seems to be happening for everyone else. And we have been thinking this whole time that pre-approval was just around the corner. Well, it will take 3-6 weeks ONCE we are submitted. God, I AM HOLDING ON TIGHT...LEAD US. We did get the kids' passport stuff submitted. They did accept Hunter's BC, though she did notice that there is a letter missing in my middle name. They don't "think it will be a problem". Please pray that it won't be. Feeling a little deflated today. But we are still walking. Mark and I agree that even though things are not going as we had hoped or even prayed for, if Maria is the destination, it will be worth the trip. |
| 4/8/2006 Happy Saturday! Last night as I perused Bible verses, I kept looking over the "faith chapter" a.k.a. Hebrews 11. I used one of the Hebrews verses last night. But another one kept sticking out to me. "But without faith, it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him." Wow. That is a powerful verse. I cannot please God when I am without faith. You see, when things are going well, like getting a birth certificate, or coming back from a visit, it is SO easy to have faith that God is in control. It is right now, the dry spell of NO visible progress in our case...then I struggle more with faith. Deep in my heart I know God is there and in control. But it is hard to look past the bare, black and white facts. We are almost nine months into the adoption, and we really are about as close to bringing Maria home than someone who started a couple of months ago. When we first started the adoption process, I had a strong faith. I was also quite naive. I really and truly believed in my heart that we would have this quick, amazing adoption. I just imagined the witness it would be for those we met, for our agency, for our family. I could just hear them declare, "Wow! God has really blessed you..." I remember sharing with our agency how optimistic we were that it would be a quick adoption, in spite of the fact that there was an abandonment proceeding involved. And I would get quite irritated when our agency would remind us, "Typical adoptions can take anywhere from 4-9 months." (Lucky us, I believe the timeframe is now extended, since there has been a slowdown in recent months. :) But I just knew that God would breeze us right through. And we would give Him the glory. Well, where is my faith now? At times, it is a bit shaky. But I am learning a new faith. One in who God is. And the fact that God does NOT need a quick adoption to be glorified. As much as I would have like it. The truth is, He will be glorified no matter how long it takes. And we must just seek Him, not that pink piece of paper (the end of the adoption process). God, please grant me patience and continued understanding in WHO YOU ARE! |