| I was then cleaned up and got told that another dr would see me at 4pm as she was a senior in this field. I slowly walked back up to the ward with all sorts of thoughts running through my head, how was I going to tell hubby what was I going to do. I walked past the phone and then doubled back and rang my mum. Heres were I broke down alone in the corridor. I went back onto the ward and just sat on my bed thinking. That wait for the next scan seemed forever but it finally came, my mum and hubby had come in to see me. Hubby came down with me. This time we went into a big room with a big TV screen facing us. Again the jelly was put all over my bump and the lady scanned the baby. After all was done she turned to us and told us that our baby only had a 50/50 chance of survival, she suggested that I had some fluid removed by ammio as it might help. As I lay there she drained the fluid off but as quick as it was taken off it replenished. We were then given another date for more scans I would be scanned every week to check on the baby. I went to my mums to stay for a while and to see the boys, as they never understood what was going on. Life just seemed to fly by I never knew what to expect, even though we had been given 50/50 it never sunk in, I thought that I would still have a healthy baby girl at the end. The next week we went for a scan and I got told I would have to stay in the hosp as my waters could go anytime and this was a risk for the baby. It was also discussed that at 35wks I was to have a c section . I stayed in the hospital were I met some very good friends who I am still in touch with today. Emma �s waters had gone early and she was in till the birth of her baby, she also did not know if her baby would survive. We talked for hours I was lucky to have met her. We used to go down to the hospital shop together and sit in the garden. Then one night I rolled over and my waters went I went to reach up for the buzzer but it was out of reach, I shouted Emma who was in the next bed and she ran out and got a midwife. I was then taken to delivery were the midwife rang for hubby. I tried to convince myself that I was not in labour but I was having pain now, I felt frightened I was left to labour as the Dr was in theatre operating. Hubby and I decided on no pain relief, as the baby would be struggling enough. Early next morning I had dilated 6 cm and was taken to theatre. I do not remember much after this, as I was asleep. I remember waking up and being told that she was a fighter. The next day is a blur. After that I was woken up at 5am by the Dr, I suddenly got this sickly feeling, this lump formed in my throat as I knew what was coming. She explained that Megan had gotten worse and that they did not think she would survive. I shouted for them to get my family and that I wanted her christened as it was only right we all got to say goodbye. My dad was in Blackpool and was on his way back, Hubby, my mum and my brother came to NICU were we she was christened Megan Elizabeth Hannah. It was then when we had to make that choice and give permission to turn the ventilator off. We held her in our arms and talked to her, I told her to go up and see great granddad and not to be in anymore pain. She passed away 56 minutes later in daddy�s arms. She was washed and dressed and my dad came to say goodbye, she was perfect . The next week I went home were I had to arrange the funeral for her, Emma went on to have a little girl Imogen who was on a ventilator to start with but came off it quickly and today is happy healthy 2 year old. The funeral was 3wks later; it was just a little service with no songs as people were too upset to sing. Months passed and life went on everyday, I hid and people thought I was ok but deep down I was hurting I had lost my little girl. Mothers day is when it hit me I realised what had happened and broke down surrounded by her things. Now 2 years have passed another baby was the last thing on my mind but 2 month�s back I gave birth to Thomas. We will tell him about his baby sister when he's older, the other boys know about her and talk about her all the time. I would like to thank all the Drs at the LWH and the staff on Mat 1, they were great, also a special thanks to Davinda our consultant. who looked after our latest pregnancy as well as Megans and insured that all went well. Thanks for reading Helen (Megan's Mum) |
 |
 |
 |
| Megans Story |