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| Chapter 9 |
| He didn't know how he was going to deal with the distance separating them this time. So much had changed. He was sure he'd lost the one person in the world that he could always count on but he changed all that with just one kiss. One mind blowing kiss. That one you dream about all your life but usually never end up receiving. The one thing in the world you wish would never end. He wanted things to go back to the way they were but he knew that was an impossibility. All around he was surrounded by joy and all he felt was sorrow. John decided it was time to break the silence between the two and Tamara's invitation for a drink after work was the perfect way to execute his little scheme. As they pulled into the lot at Tabu, Tamara protested,"Im not going in there." "I didn't say you had to. I just needed to pick up something from Howie and then we'll be on our way." "Okay,"she conceeded. Maybe she was being childish about the whole situation. All she knew is he was going to be gone in three days and any chance at romance for them would be gone for another two months. Who was she kidding? She wanted him to come to her now. He knew where she stood all he needed to do was admit he felt the same way. She thought he felt the same thing she did when they kissed. What's taking John so long? she pondered. She was beginning to believe that he was doing this on purpose. She just wanted to get a drink and be social for a couple of hours. Forget why she was so miserable these days. Damn! Couldn't he just hurry up. "So she's out in the truck right now?"Howie inquired of his brother. "Yes." |
| "What's going on with you two? You'd think that somebody had commited a crime." "Didn't we?" "The only crime you're committing is keeping that poor girl on a leash and leading her around until she can't see straight. She's always known how she felt about you, why can't you admit you feel the same way about her?" "What are you talking about?" "I know about Saturday night." "Oh,"he bowed his head. "Yeah oh. God she loves you Howie. Can't you see that?" "What am I supposed to do? I leave town in three days and I am not even anywhere near ready to be there John." "I think your first step is to talk to Tamara." "I can't." "Why not? Don't you love her?" "It's not that. I just want it to be right when I tell her." "There never is a right time kid. You just tell her. Tell her before it's too late. I've gotta go before she gets suspicious." "She probably already is." "Tell her. Tell her before you lose her." "Come on John. I know you're stalling here,"she interrupted."I don't need somebody telling me how to run my love life." "Talk to her,"He mouthed to Howie. "Not now,"he returned silently. "Let's go. I just wanna go dance, have a few drinks and forget about my miserable rotten love life." "Hold on just a second,"Howie interrupted. "What? Are you gonna say something that's gonna make me change my mind about going elsewhere? I wanna be as far away from you as possible these days. You obviously have no intention of telling me how you feel ever so I'm gonna go find somebody that might make me feel that way for at least an evening." "You don't wanna do that." "And how do you know? You won't even tell me how you feel anymore." "Because those feelings are a lot more than friendly Tam. They're things I used to be able to share with you about other women. Now they're about you. It scares the hell out of me the way I feel about you." "Why can't you just say it? Tell me that you love me. Is it that hard? I know it's not hard for me to say but I can't spend the rest of my life pining away for a man that can't admit that he loves me. Come on John. Let's go." "Okay." They drove in silence but he took her home. "What are we doing here?" "We are not going out for a drink because I can't believe you laid into him like that." "Somebody had to say it." "And you were the one." "I can't stand this constant game between he and I anymore. I don't wanna play it anymore. I'm done with him. I've gotta let him go because he won't say what I know he feels but is too stubborn to admit to." "He's not the only one being stubborn around here." She glared at him as she pulled her things together. "You know it's true." "That's bullshit. He won't admit it and I'm not waiting any longer. There's a man out there that'll say it to me but for some reason he won't. He just lost his chance,"as she slammed the truck door behind her. God! Men! Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em! |
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