| Chapter 25 |
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| Nick entered his room as Tamara threw the last of her things in her bag."Watcha doing?" "I'm leaving." "Leaving?" "For good." "This isn't because "Yes and no. I've had all day to think about everything and if I'd wanted to, I'd have taken the coward's way out and left without saying a word." His dissapointment shone through in his expression."Tam, I know I said something I shouldn't have this morning but I didn't mean to." "It's not all you. I'm taking a break from my life." "Meaning?" "I'm getting away from everybody." "Including work?" "That's the only thing that is staying right now." "But I don't understand." "Nick,"she took his hand,"I don't know how to say this without hurting either one of you. I've been in love with both of you and that's what makes this so hard. You keep trying to hone in every time Howie and I argue. I don't like feeling torn in two different directions. I can't be your friend and be in love with you too Nick. I just want to be able to be your friend that loves you for all you are." "If that's the way you feel." "Maybe someday Nick but I can't do this anymore. I can't be torn between the two of you." "What makes you so sure I'll be there when you come back around?" "I'm not. I'm just hoping that our friendship is strong enough to withstand what we've been through,"she closed the door behind herself and knocked on Howie's door. She handed him the electronic key when he opened the door."You're not staying?" "I can't stay long. I have a flight in a few hours." "I think we need to talk for a few minutes then." She toted her bag into the room and sat it down. "What's going on with us Tam?" "You're asking me? You're the one that's been screwing things up here." "You slept with your ex boyfriend." "I see you all stick together." "He's been around a lot longer than you have." "I made a mistake. You've made many. I'm not your latest conquest. I'm your girlfriend. Excuse me for caring about whom you share a bed with." "Right back atcha." "You know what? You made it a hell of a lot easier for me to leave here without a guilty conscience." "You needed me to do that?" "Just more proof that you never did love me." "That's where you're wrong." "I'm wrong? After everything you've done." "Yes. I can't let you walk out of here. I've screwed up a lot of things in my life but loving you is one thing I never want to screw up again." "Then let me go." "Let you go?" "I need some time." "How much?" |
| "I don't know. If you love me as much as you say you do, have faith that it won't be long." "And if I don't want to wait?" "You don't have to but I need to find me. I've spent the last three years digging my way through you and Nick. I'm leaving everything in my life that has to do with you two." "Including your friends?" "Everything but my job. Please trust me." "Please don't go Tam." She picked up her bag."I have to. Goodbye,"she kept her eyes forward knowing she couldn't bear to see the pain in his eyes and not wanting it to be her last memory of him. |
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