It was six months later and Ginger was preparing her daughter for school. Jenny was excited about starting kindergarten. As Ginger hoped, as Chris got older and got cuter Jenny couldn't get enough of him. She was constantly around her little brother, introducing herself to people as "Christopher's big sister." She loved him to death and it was good to see. The two of them were getting along very well.
Kris and Taylor were celebrating six months of a wonderful marriage with dinner at their place three days before Jenny started school. Jenny couldn't stop talking about it, and every time she did, Ginger was close to tears. Ginger didn't want her little girl to grow up and go off to school, and she made that point quite often. Zac was obviously hurt as well, but he didn't say anything about it and constantly made jokes on Ginger's part when she seemed to tear up.
"Zac, did you get the wine like I asked?" Ginger asked, putting an earring in her ear. Her and Zac were in the bedroom; Zac had just gotten home from work and they were getting ready for dinner at Kris's house. It wasn't at all formal, but Ginger looked skuzzy all day and wanted to at least try to be presentable for her sister.
"Yes, Ginger, I told you that when I got home," Zac said from the bathroom. He was in his closet trying to find the shirt he was going to wear. "In fact, I told you twice because you asked again."
"I'm sorry," Ginger said, "I just wanted to make sure."
"Are you feeling all right?" he asked, leaning out of his closet and looking at her. She turned to him.
"Why would you ask such a thing?" she asked.
"You've been very out of it lately, Ging, and I worry about you," he said. She blew it off.
"Whatever, Zac. I just have a headache."
"A headache? That's the third one this week!" he said. "It's okay to get headaches from time to time but, Ginger, not three in one week. That means something."
"It doesn't mean anything," Ginger said. "I'm fine."
"I want you to go see Dr. Phelps on Monday."
"Zac!"
"Don't even say a word, Ginger. You're going. I want you to get checked out. As much as you may deny it, I think you may be sick again." She huffed.
"Zac, I would know if I were sick or not."
"Maybe you don't want me to know," Zac said. He leaned against the doorframe between the bathroom and the bedroom. "Or maybe you don't want to admit to yourself that you could be sick again. Ginger, I know what you're like when you're sick and you're showing all the symptoms. If we find it and we find it early�"
"Yeah, yeah," Ginger said, turning back to the mirror. "There's a greater chance of finding it and getting rid of it quickly. Whatever." She put her other earring in her ear. It wasn't early. She'd been having her cancer headaches for months now and she'd been hiding her other symptoms as much as possible but it'd gotten to the point where she was having a hard time doing normal things. Her sleep apnea was back and that was not easy to hide from Zac when he slept right next to her. She was having a hard time remembering things, she was getting dizzy often, and periodically she had problems walking in a straight line. It was all signs of her cancer returning and she'd been ignoring them for over six months.
"You don't seem very concerned about this," Zac said.
"Well maybe it's because I know I'm right," she told him. "Let's go. Where are our children?"
"Jenny's playing in her room and Christopher is right where you left him," Zac said, pointing to the bed. Christopher was asleep on one of Ginger's pillows. Ginger smiled.
"Oh, I don't want to wake him up," she said. "We'll just put him down at Kris and Taylor's." Carefully Ginger walked over to the bed and picked up Christopher. Zac went to fetch Jenny and the four of them left. Jenny was excited, as always, and was talking about school with her father. Zac, who had never been to a normal school, was definitely more interested than Ginger in the conversation.
"�and my teacher's name is Mrs. Present and there's going to be lots of kids in my class and I'm going to have lots of friends�" Ginger smiled. Because there weren't any children in the neighborhood, Jenny was usually alone. Ginger was just happy that her daughter wanted friends.
"Hello?" Zac called out as the family walked into the front door of the house.
"In here, Zac!" Kris called from the kitchen. Ginger left to find a good place to put Christopher down, while Zac and Jenny went into the kitchen. Taylor was making something at the stove and Kris was trying to help, but whenever she got too close, Taylor just pushed her away.
"Hello all," Zac said, taking a seat at the counter. Kris gave up at the stove and walked over to Zac.
"Hey Zac," she said. She leaned over the counter and gave him a kiss. "Where's your wife?"
"She's finding a place for Christopher. He fell asleep at our place and she didn't want to wake him up," Zac explained. "So, big six months? How's it feel?"
"Eh, I'm starting to get bored with him," Kris joked, looking over her shoulder at Taylor. He flicked her off, not turning away from the stove. "I'm kidding, baby! I still love you!"
"Say all you want, you're not getting near this food," Taylor said, looking back at her with a smile.
"Taylor!"
"What?" She gave him a look and turned back to Zac.
"He's a loser," she said, smiling. "Isn't your anniversary coming up?"
"Yeah," Zac said. "September 16th. Right after Jenny's birthday." Jenny had pulled herself on the other chair and began to color on the counter with the coloring books and crayons from the toy area Kris had around just for her.
"Jenny, are you excited about school?" Kris asked. Jenny looked up and nodded.
"Yup!"
"Well it's good to be excited," Kris said. "By the time you hit high school you'll just want to be out of there." Zac gave Kris a look. "What? Do you know how many years it'll be before she even goes to high school? She won't remember�anyway, where is my sister?"
"Right here, right here," Ginger said, walking into the room. She looked just as tired as Christopher had been, and it began to worry Zac. She hid it well, though. She put a fake little smile on her face. She was done up well and that hid a lot of her emotion. "I need to sit down." Ginger went over to the chair that Jenny was seated, lifted her up, and sat down, placing Jenny on her lap.
"Are you okay, Ginger?" Zac asked, leaning in closely to his wife.
"I told you, I'm fine." Zac sat up straight again. He didn't believe her.
Dinner was served about a half an hour later. Christopher had woken up and Ginger fed him before she sat down for dinner, with him sitting in a high chair that, once again, Kris had just for when the kids spent time at her place. Kris and Taylor had a lot of baby things, but they still said they weren't sure when they were going to have children yet.
"So what do you plan on doing for your anniversary?" Kris asked Zac and Ginger. They looked at each other.
"We're probably not going to do much of anything," Ginger said. "Maybe dinner without the kids, but that's about it."
"You guys are boring," Kris said.
"Well it's your anniversary and you're having people over!" Ginger said. Kris gave her a look.
"This is a six-month anniversary, nothing colossal like one year, or two years," she hinted. "Anyway, what makes you think we're not going to do anything when you guys leave?"
"Because you guys are like us," Ginger said. "You don't do stuff like that." Kris shrugged. "Anyway, we might do something. You never know." Ginger picked at her food. She wasn't entirely hungry but she knew if she didn't eat it Zac would be on her case in a moment. He was really starting to bug her. Of course he was just worried about her, and that was all right, but it pissed her off because she knew he was right. He had every reason to be concerned about her getting sick again because she was sick again.
After dinner Ginger was sitting in the living room with Christopher in her lap. Christopher, now nine months old, was starting to look more like his father than anything else. His dark hair was turning blonde and his eyes were a deep brown. He looked a lot like his sister; it was obvious they were related even if they had different hair and eye color.
Kris sat next to her sister on the couch. "How are you doing, sis?" Kris asked. Ginger looked over at Kris and faked a smile.
"Just fine," Ginger said.
"You don't look just fine," Kris said. Ginger groaned. "I'm serious, Rose. Don't think we can't notice."
"There's nothing wrong with me!" Ginger said. "Oh my God!"
"I just don't understand, Rose," Kris said. "You know, when this happened before you knew exactly what was going on before anyone else did and you got help as soon as you could. When everyone else didn't want to believe it was happening again you did and you made the appointment with the doctor, you said you had to go�and this time you're acting as though nothing's happening! Everyone can tell, Rosemary. Everyone knows what's happening and I just think you're denying it. Things are going good for you and you don't want anything to take that away from you."
"Nothing's wrong with me," Ginger said, standing up. "I'm fine. You're right, I can tell if there's something wrong with me. You can't. I might be getting the flu or a cold and you act as though the world's going to end! I'm fine, Kris."
"Zac doesn't seem to think so and neither do I."
"You two don't know what you're talking about." Ginger shook her head. "I'm going home." Ginger, with Christopher in her arms, walked out of the living room and to the door.
"Ging, where are you going?" Zac asked.
"I'm going home!" she said. She pulled open the door and slammed it behind her. She walked home as quickly as she could, Zac following behind her, but he didn't catch up with her until they were at their house. Ginger went up the stairs and brought Christopher into their bedroom. She put him down on the bed when Zac appeared at the doorway.
"What's going on, Ginger?" he asked.
"Where's Jenny?" Ginger immediately asked.
"She's with Kris and Taylor. What's going on?" Ginger shook her head, tears coming to her eyes.
"I'm sick, Zac." Ginger began to cry and Zac immediately put his arms around his wife. "I've been sick. It's just everything's been going so well lately. Jenny's starting school, Christopher's getting older�I don't want to be sick again. I don't want to go through that again! I don't like being sick."
"I know, baby. I know you don't. But we're going to get through this, just like we do every time." Ginger shook her head.
"I don't think so," she said, pushing him away. "I don't think we can."
"Don't think like that�"
"Zac, I'm serious," Ginger said. "I haven't been sick like this before. I know what it's like, I can tell when it gets to be too much. This is too much for me to handle. I don't know if I can do it again and I don't think I really want to."
"Ginger�"
"I'll go to the doctor on Monday and I'll see what he has to say, but, Zac, this is going to be really hard," she said. "And I want you to stop being the optimist here. I know you have to because I'm always looking on the darker side of things, but just stop for a moment. This could be treatable. We could get through this. But what if we don't? What is going to happen if I died?"
"Ginger, I can't do this."
"Do it," Ginger said. "This has been a possibility from the beginning. This disease is really fatal, and I've made it through it twice. The possibility of me making through it a third time is very, very low. We've never talked about this. What are you going to do if I died? We have two children. Jenny's just now starting school and Christopher isn't even walking yet!"
"I'm not talking about this!"
"Zac!"
"I'm not talking about this!" he repeated. "We're not going to even think about this now. I'm going to get Jenny." Zac walked out of the room hurriedly and Ginger sat down, hurt. She looked at Christopher. Even with her and Zac yelling at each other, he had managed to fall asleep. She laid down on the bed next to him and began to brush her fingers through his short hair. He looked so much like his father. She smiled. He wouldn't be able to talk back like his father for quite some time.
"I hope you never say a word," Ginger whispered. She kissed his forehead and smiled. Although she was the only one thinking about her possible death, it was still hard for her to do it. If she weren't to make it through this time, if something were to happen, it would happen before Christopher was old enough to remember her. That hurt the most. Ginger knew if she died Christopher wouldn't remember her. Jenny would have some recollection, if not much, of her mother. Thinking back, Ginger couldn't remember more than one or two instances of her life before kindergarten, and Jenny would be the same way.
A tear fell out of her eye. All she wanted was for her kids to remember her and she knew that might not happen.