"Hello?" Zac said into the phone two weeks later. He'd raced to the phone from the living room when Ginger was once again watching her soap opera, only this time she was in there with Taylor. She hadn't said much these past two weeks, only a complaint every now and then that she was impatiently waiting for this pregnancy to be over. She hadn't said anything about her sickness and when Zac tried to talk to her about it, she asked him bluntly to change the subject.
"Hello, Zac? This is Dr. Whyte." Zac's heart immediately leapt up into his throat.
"Oh, hi, Doc. How are you doing?"
"I'm doing just fine. I just received Ginger's test results back from the lab." Zac sat down, putting a hand to his forehead and closing his eyes. He'd been dreading this call since Dr. Whyte left but he knew it was coming soon and he wouldn't be able to avoid it. He was right.
"And?"
"It's back again."
"Oh�damn," he muttered, unable to say anything else.
"We'd like to get here in as soon as possible for treatment," he said calmly as Zac was slowly falling apart in his kitchen.
"Ginger won't come back in for treatment and you know she won't. She doesn't want to go through this again. She's going to have the baby soon and she's going to be screwed up from that�she'll have too much on her hands to worry about treatment," he said, a violent shaking taking control of his hands, to the point where he had to wedge the phone between his neck and his ear so he wouldn�t have to hold it any longer.
"I know she doesn't want treatment, Zac, but if she doesn't come in, she's going to die."
"I know, I know," Zac said as calmly as he could. "I'll try to talk her into it, but I can't promise you anything. I'll call you when she's made up her mind."
"All right. I hope to hear from you soon with good news." Zac said goodbye and calmly hung up the phone. He set it down, looked at it, then picked it back up and threw it as hard as he could across the room. It hit the window, shattered the glass, and landed somewhere outside. He put his head in his hands and screamed.
Taylor came running in. "What's going on in here? Zac? Are you okay?" Zac looked over, tears in his eyes, and shook his head. "Who was on the phone?"
"Dr. Whyte," Zac plainly answered as he got up and walked over to the area where he'd broken a window. "Ginger's cancer is back and they want her in post haste for treatment but she's so fucking stubborn that she'd rather let herself die than get treated again! She's still got our daughter inside of her and we have forever to raise her but she doesn't want to get better! She doesn't want to get poked and prodded again! She could beat this thing if she just tried but she doesn't want to do that!"
"Zac, keep your voice down, she's just in the other room," Taylor said.
"I just don't want her to die."
"She's not going to die, Zac," Taylor said, shaking his head. "She's going to be just fine. Her and the baby�they're just fine."
"That's why the doctor specifically told me that if she doesn't come in for treatment she's going to die!" Zac yelled. "I am not going to let that happen! I let my best friend die, I'm not going to let it happen to my wife!" Taylor looked at the ground. "I'm sorry."
"No�no, don't be. It's all right. You just don't want to lose her too." Zac looked away. "What you need to do is you need to calm down and go in there and talk to her. If you keep wearing her down and wearing her down, sooner or later she's going to change her mind. She'll do this and she'll fight this. She's not terminal, she's just sick of being sick."
"I don't know what to do, Taylor. I've tried that. I've been trying to wear her down since she told me she was sick again but she hasn't budged yet. She hasn't done anything yet. All she does is sit in front of that television, not talking to me, thinking about Kris, and slowly wearing away. The only reason she isn't listening to me is because she thinks that if she dies she'll be with her sister again."
"Well she will be."
"But I don't want her to go. I need her here. I need her to help me raise Jenny and help me live the rest of my life happily. I can't be a nineteen-year-old widower with a child."
"Then tell her that." Zac tapped nervously on the table. "Don't start tapping, you know how long it took for me to get out of that habit." He stopped. "Go in there and talk to her. She's your wife." Zac took a deep breath to calm himself down and walked into the living room where Ginger was sitting with her blanket, watching television.
"Hey," he said.
"Are you okay?" she asked, looking at him. "I heard a crash and I was going to get up but it'd take me a day and a half to get up in my situation." She looked down at her swollen belly. She was quite large at this point, being only two weeks from her due date.
"It was nothing," he explained, brushing her hair away from her eyes. "I got a call from Dr. Whyte." She looked away. "You're sick again."
"I already knew that."
"He wants you to go in right away for treatment." She shook her head, looking back at him. "He said if you don't get treatment you'll die."
"Then I'll die. I want to be buried in that dress you got me for Christmas with a white casket that has lots of colorful tulips around and I want you to sing." Zac looked away this time, not wanting her to see the tears in his eyes at the thought of her funeral. "I always thought you had the best voice."
"Dammit, Ginger, I'm not going to let you die on me."
"It's not your decision," she calmly stated. "It's not your life."
"You are my life."
"Can we change the subject, please?" she asked, looking back at the television.
"No, we can't. I know this makes you uncomfortable but this is reality and one of these days you're going to have to face it. Kris is gone, Ginger. There's nothing you can do to bring her back and you're just going to have to get over that. She meant something to me too and as much as I hate myself every day for not getting her out of that mess alive she's gone! I want to accept that but you won't let me because every day you're going deeper and deeper into something I can't pull you out of. Ginger, you have to go to treatment so our daughter can grow up with a mother. I don't want her asking me later on in her life why her mother died. What am I supposed to tell her? That things got too hard and she decided instead of facing them head on she was just going to run away? What kind of example is that setting?"
"I told you I'd like to change the subject, Zac. You can sit here and tell me that I need to go to treatment until the fucking cows come home, but it's not going to change anything. You don't know what I went through. You weren't there at the hospital with me while they blasted me with foreign rays that your normal doctor tells you to stay away from, how they poked me with a needle until I fainted from lack of blood, then when I ran to the bathroom to throw up. You weren't in there. I was. I�I don't want to go through that again."
"You might get rid of it, Ginger. We're just trying to get you to get rid of it."
"This is my second relapse, Zac. Do you know how many people survive two relapses? Do you know how many people survive one? Or just the initial cancer itself? No one ever makes it past this point. Baby, I'm dying and you need to accept that."
"No you're not, you're giving up."
"Fine. You can believe whatever you want to believe, but I can feel what is happening inside of me. I don't want to have to go through that mess just to find out I'm terminal anyway. There's no point. Listen to me and let me be at peace. Don't make me do that again." He looked deeply at her and she wiped at a tear falling from her violet eyes that had captivated him since the moment he first saw her. "Please." He sighed.
"All right," he told her, taking her in his arms. "We won't go through that again, but you have to promise me you're going to hold out as long as you can so I can be ready to let you go." She began to cry onto his shoulder.
"I'm going to die, Zac," she said.
"I know, sweetie. I know."
Ginger went into labor early the next morning, September 10th. The doctor figured it was brought upon by her sudden stress, but Zac figured it was just her time. The baby wasn't due for another two weeks but Zac barely knew anybody who went into labor on time. Ginger went into a private room and got drugged up immediately. She'd always said she wanted to attempt a natural childbirth, but the doctor strictly advised against it in her situation. She was weak enough as it was from her sickness that he didn't want her to risk the pain of child bearing.
"How are you doing, honey?" Zac asked, brushing her hair away from her face as she munched on some ice chips. She looked up at him, slightly dazed, and gave him a weak smile. "Can I get you anything?" She shook her head. This was supposed to be a happy time but Zac couldn't seem to focus on the baby because of the critical condition his wife was in. All he could think about was that soon, too soon, his wife wouldn't be around any longer.
"Don't worry about me," she said. "I'm twenty, I'm drugged up�I can do this. It's just going to be tiring. They said they'll keep me here as long as I need to be here. I'll be just fine."
"I don't know, you've been so tired and weak lately, I'm worried. I'm always worried about you."
"I know you are. And I love you so much for it." He gave her a kiss. "Honey, we're going to be parents soon." He nodded, trying to smile. "Is your mom coming?"
"Yeah, she should be here soon. She has to find a flight and get in as soon as she can. Taylor, Ike and Roni are all outside but the doctor said they can't come in because it'll be too overwhelming for you."
"Oh, posh, tell them to come in."
"I don't want to get yelled at."
"I'll tell that stupid doctor that I'm fine and I want to see my friends." Zac kissed her forehead and smiled as he left her side and walked outside to fetch their friends. He was barely out the door when he ran into all of them.
"Hey guys," he said, looking confused. "I thought you guys were all in the waiting area."
"We made a big deal out of this and they allowed us to stay here," Taylor explained. "But they still haven't said we could see her. What's going on? We've been through this enough times to know that we're allowed to see her, if not all at once, at least one at a time."
"Ginger's doctor thinks that she's in too much of a critical condition to have visitors. She says she's fine and she wants you guys to come in anyway. The worst that'll happen is that they'll just kick you out again, but at least you get to see her now," Zac said. "So come on in, she's waiting for you guys." Zac opened the door and his two brothers and Roni came inside.
"Hi," Ginger said, waving. "I missed you guys, where've you been?"
"Battling the hospital staff to get to see you," Zac explained as the others all gave Ginger a hug and a kiss. "They're making it a big deal that nobody gets to see you. They're afraid it'll be too much."
"This is hardly much," Ginger said, looking around at everyone. "This actually makes me feel a lot better." She shifted in the bed. "It was boring in here alone. I've only been sitting in this crap bed for five hours."
"Are you in pain?" Taylor asked, looking around at her bed. Ginger shook her head. "Really?"
"They gave me an epidural," she explained.
"I thought you wanted to try a natural birth," Roni said.
"Yeah, well they said I couldn't handle it so they gave me an epidural. I guess it's better this way, I don't have to worry about it killing me or something." The mood in the room shifted quickly and everyone looked away from Ginger. "Guys�guys don't start with that. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable and I don't want you to be like that every time you remember that I'm going to die."
"It's going to be hard, Ginger," Taylor explained. "We already lost Kris and now we're going to lose you�that's really painful."
"I know it is," she said, shifting. She felt a slight discomfort as another contraction began. "I wish I could do something about that but I know I can't. I'm not there yet, it's still going to be a while before anything major happens, so hang around me. I'll be happy to spend the rest of my time with all of you."
"It's still going to be hard," Taylor said.
"I know."
"I'll be right back," Zac whispered to Ginger. She nodded. He left quietly and went outside the hospital area to the front waiting room, where he pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked his messages. His mother was supposed to be coming in town soon and he told her to leave him a message on his phone as to where and when to pick her up. He wasn't going to do it, knowing it'd take at least two hours to do all of that and he wasn't going to leave his wife's side for that long, especially when she could deliver his child in that amount of time.
"Hi honey, it's Mom," the first message began, "I got the first flight I could get on, and it leaves in about five minutes. I should be at O'Hare airport about five-twenty, or so the schedule says. They're boarding right now and they seem to be on time, so I'll be there then. I'm on flight 1453 and I'm at gate M1. Don't go yourself, send Taylor or Isaac because I don't want you missing anything. Okay, they just called my row, so I'll see one of you here and I'll see you later. I love you, dear. Bye." Zac looked at his watch. It was almost four-thirty. He was about to hang up when the second message began.
"Zac, hi, it's Dr. Whyte. I just heard the good news, congratulations! I hope everything goes well. I'd like to stop by to check on Ginger while she's in the hospital, but I wanted to check with you first before I randomly showed up. Call me back, bye." Zac turned off his voicemail and immediately dialed Dr. Whyte's number.
"Hello?"
"Hey!" Zac said, "It's Zac."
"Oh, hello Zac, how's everything going?"
"It's good, she's still in labor right now. She's seven centimeters right now so she's almost there. She's doing good, they gave her an epidural because they insisted that she wasn't strong enough to attempt a natural birth like she'd wanted. They're treating her like she's a baby, not having a baby. I don't like it."
"Zac, they're just trying to make sure she's okay through this. In the state she's in, there is a possibility that she won't make it. They don't want to take any risks because they could lose both her and the baby."
"I still don't like it."
"Do you mind if I check on her?"
"I don't mind, but I'm sure she won't want to see your face again. No offense or anything," Zac explained.
"None taken. I know I don't bring good memories with me but I'd just like to give her an estimate on how much time she has left. Wouldn't you think she'd want to know that?" Zac thought about it.
"I don't think she wants to know. I know I don't."
"Well can you talk to her about it?"
"I'll try, but I can't promise anything."
"All I want is for you to try." Zac agreed and hung up the phone quickly. He shut it off and ran back inside to Ginger's room. When he got inside, the doctor was in there checking on her. His brothers and Roni were still there, so Ginger must have either said something or it wasn't a big deal any longer.
"You're almost there," he told her. "I'll be back in a half an hour, you should be ready by then." Ginger nodded. The doctor turned around and gave Zac a smiled as he walked out of the room.
"Where'd you go?" Ginger asked.
"Just to check my messages. Mom's going to be here at five-twenty; who wants to go pick her up?" he asked, looking at both Isaac and Taylor. "I'd go, but I don't really want to miss this."
"I'll go," Isaac offered. "Roni, are you going to come or do you want to stay here?"
"I'll go," she said. Both of them said goodbye to Ginger and walked to the door. Zac gave them the information before they went and then walked up to his wife.
"Are you excited?" he asked. She nodded. "I am too. Hey, Dr. Whyte wants to�"
"No."
"You didn't even wait for me to finish my sentence," he said, sitting on the edge of her bed, Taylor sitting on the other side. He was trying not to pay attention as he flipped through a magazine. He was holding Ginger's hand for support while Zac had been gone and he hadn't let go yet. She obviously didn't want him to.
"Fine. Go ahead."
"Dr. Whyte wants to stop by and check on you after the baby's born." She shook her head. "Come on, it's not like he wants to treat you on anything, he just wants to stop by and see if you're okay. He wants to give you an estimate on how much time you have left," he explained.
"I don't want to know how much time I have left. I don't want to burden myself with that crap. I'm just fine for right now, all right? He doesn't need to come in and check on me for anything. I don't want to see him again." Zac shrugged.
"All right. I'll tell him you said no."
"Good." She sat back and let go of Taylor's hand, taking Zac's in both of hers. "I love you, you know." He nodded.
"I love you too, sweetheart."
"Hey," Taylor said, piping up. "Can I be the godfather?"
"Taylor, we were in the middle of a touching moment," Zac said.
"Can I still be godfather?"
"Fine, Taylor."