An hour and a half later Ginger gave birth to their first and only child, Jennifer Kristina. Ginger got to hold her for a few moments before she was taken to the nursery with the other babies. Ginger and Zac were taken to a different room where she was able to relax. Zac fixed her hair and wiped the sweat off her forehead.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, looking her over. She shook her head.
"I feel like shit."
"But you're a mother now." She nodded, tears coming to her eyes. She'd cried a lot since the baby was born, and although the doctors said it was just added hormones from labor, she insisted that wasn't it. Zac had a feeling that her mood had changed about her upcoming death now that she had her daughter to hold.
In front of them the door opened and Diana came in, smiling. "How's everybody doing?" she asked. Zac got up and gave her a kiss while Ginger stayed behind in the bed. She wasn't strong enough yet to get up and greet her mother-in-law. Diana walked over and gave her a big hug. "Hello, sweetie."
"Hi Mom," she said, smiling. "How was your flight?"
"It was all right, but that doesn't matter right now. How are you feeling?" she asked. Ginger shrugged.
"Not too good."
"Yeah, well, I was the same way. Don't worry, you'll be just fine in a little while. Did they take her to nursery already?" she asked. Ginger nodded.
"Yeah. When I feel better I'll get up and go see her."
"Mom, can I talk to you a minute?" Zac asked. Diana looked up at her son.
"Zac, I just got here."
"Please?" Diana sighed but nodded. She got up. "I'll send Taylor in here so you're not alone, babe," he told Ginger. She nodded. The two left and Zac sent Taylor into the room so he could talk with his mother. They sat down.
"What's going on, Zac?"
"She's sick again."
"Yes, you told me that."
"She also is refusing treatment," he explained. Diana looked slightly confused. "Meaning she's going to die soon."
"Oh, honey, I'm sorry�"
"She's been under constant supervision since this morning when I brought her in here because there was a chance that she wouldn't be able to survive having the baby with the state she's in right now. She's really bad. She won't admit it but she's getting weaker and weaker every day and if she doesn't do something about it soon then she will die before Christmas, maybe even before Thanksgiving."
"Is there anything you can do?" He shook his head.
"No. She won't let me do anything. She won't let me try to help her because she doesn't want any help. She's just tired of living the way she's been living all of her life. She doesn't want to go through all that pain again and find out she's just going to die anyway. I can't say that I agree with her, but I really don't have a say in it."
"Are you really sure it's going to be that soon, though?"
"I spoke to Dr. Whyte already about how she'd be before she died, and he explained to me the stages she'll go through. She'll start to lose the use of her body parts until she loses use of the main ones and she dies. She's already deteriorating. She can't use two of her fingers on her left hand. She tries to hide it and she does very well but I know what she's doing, I'm watching her all the time. She can't hide it from me forever."
"What about Jenny?" Diana asked. Zac sighed and looked over at her.
"I'm raising her. Taylor already said he was going to help out as much as he could and Roni offered to take care of her while I'm at class. I only have classes every other day and I'm not gone long. By the time I'm done with my classes and I can get a job she'll be ready to go to school."
"Do you really think that's going to work?"
"Of course. If it doesn't, then I'll put her in day care. I have a million options, Mom."
"I'm just worried about you, Zac. You don't know how you're going to react when she's gone."
"No, I don't, but I have Jenny to worry about now. I won't have time to get lost in a fit of depression or anything. Ginger may die but I've still got her in Jenny. I'll always have her around as long as I have Jenny." Zac looked into the room and Taylor was having a play fight with Ginger and he was losing. "Would you like to see her?"
"Of course." They got up and Zac brought her over to the nursery. "Which one is she?" Diana asked.
"That one, third from the left in the second row," he said, pointing. Diana looked over and immediately smiled. "She looks so much like her mother."
"Yeah, she does. You can see her red hair already." Zac nodded, leaning up against the glass as he looked at his daughter. "What color are her eyes?"
"They're blue, but that doesn't mean anything. My eyes were blue when I was born." Diana nodded.
"Yeah, they were. When do you think you'll be going home?"
"Sometime tomorrow. The doctors don't even think she'll be able to walk until then. She's not doing as well as she should but once we get home she'll be comfortable again. She doesn't like hospitals." Zac could help but smile as Jenny shifted, woke up, and immediately began to cry. "That's my daughter in there."
"That's my granddaughter in there," Diana said, putting an arm around her son's waist and giving him a tight squeeze.
"You know, I didn't even think about that. Grandma! Ha! You're old now." She hit him in the stomach. "Oof, thanks Ma."
"I'm hardly old," she said. "You're a very young father."
"Yeah, I know." Zac turned away. "I'm going to go check on Ginger again."
"I want to stay here a bit." Zac nodded and walked back to Ginger's room.
"Oh God does it feel good to be home again," Ginger said, stepping into the house about dinnertime the next day. "I'm going to go upstairs, crawl into my bed, and sleep for days and days." She looked down at her daughter. "And you're going to join me! Yes you are, yes you are!"
"You better eat something before you do that, you haven't had anything since lunch," Zac explained. Ginger waved it off. "Ginger�come on�"
"Oh, all right. I hate it when you do that," she said, giving him a kiss before going into the kitchen. "What do we have to eat in here?" She tried to open the fridge with her left hand after adjusting Jenny into her right arm. She'd lost the use of her index and middle fingers, and her arm wasn't cooperating, so she had a hard time getting it open. Zac stood at the entrance, waiting for her to turn to him for help. She tried to open it, but she couldn't grip the handle, and it wouldn't budge. She laughed nervously and tried again. When it wouldn't open, she dropped her hand. "All right. Help me."
Zac walked over and opened the refrigerator for her. "I know you don't want to believe that this is happening, but if you need help it's okay to ask for it."
"Nothing's happening." He picked up her left hand by her two non-functioning fingers.
"Squeeze my hand."
"Zac, this is stupid."
"It's only stupid because you can't do it and you don't want me to know that. I know what's happening to you, Ginger, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. This is what happens to someone in your position. I know. I asked. It's fine."
"Things are just different now that we have Jenny. I'm not sure I want this to happen," she said. "I'm not sure I want to leave her."
"That's perfectly all right, honey."
"It's too late now, though. I can't stop it now. I'm already dying." She shook her head, tears falling out of her eyes. "I could have stopped it and I didn't because I was too stubborn to listen to you. Now look at me. I can't even open the refrigerator door and I'm going to die before my baby knows who I am."
"There are things you can do, Ginger. You can go into Dr. Whyte's office tomorrow and you can ask to get treated. You know nothing about the severity or the placement of your cancer, you can get better and at least stay around long enough for her to know you."
"No�it's too late. I don't want to go in there and have him tell me he can't do anything for me."
"But what if he can do something for you?"
"Zac�"
"Come on, this is your life here. This isn't some petty thing. You're only twenty, Ginger, you've got time on your side." She lowered her eyes and turned away. "Don't talk like that if you're not going to do anything. Don't get my hopes up if you're not even going to try."
"I'm so confused."
"Maybe you should just go to sleep," he said, closing the door. "Give me Jenny, you need a good night's rest. I'll take care of her tonight." He stepped in front of her and took Jenny from her. "Go upstairs and get a good night's sleep."
"All right."
"I'll see you in the morning." She gave him a kiss and went up the stairs to bed. He took Jenny and went into the living room, where he barely sat down when he heard a knock at the front door. He got up again, checking on Jenny to make sure she was still asleep. She was. He walked over to the door and opened it. "Taylor, what are you doing here?"
"I just wanted to make sure you guys got home okay," he said. "I guess you are." Zac nodded. "Where's the wife?" Zac laughed.
"She's upstairs. I sent her to get some sleep; she's exhausted. As long as Jenny doesn't scream her little head off she should be all right. I think I'll be staying down here tonight so she doesn't bother her."
"That's a good idea."
"Come on in," Zac said, opening the door. Taylor walked in and they went into the living room. Zac put Jenny down on the recliner and sat with Taylor on the couch. "So why are you really here? If you really needed to know if we got home okay, you could have just called instead of coming all the way out here."
"It's only a five minute drive."
"But why are you really here?"
"Well, I have something to tell you, but I didn't want to rain in on your parade of having a new baby and all, so I've been saving it. I just confirmation yesterday before you called me about Ginger being in labor," he said, carefully avoiding what he wanted to say.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Zac asked. "Taylor, are you pregnant?"
"That is so not funny," Taylor said as Zac began to laugh. "That is beyond so not funny. That is mega not funny."
"Actually, I think it's hilarious." Taylor waited patiently for Zac to stop laughing. "All right, I'm sorry. What are you trying to tell me?"
"I'm adopting a baby."
"What?!"
"I'm adopting a kid. I've been planning this since Kris died. I've looked through it and I found a girl who's really young and can't raise her baby, so I'm adopting it. It's supposed to be a girl and she's supposed to be born soon. I'll get a call when the girl goes into labor so I can be there to take her home."
"Are you seriously adopting a child?" Zac asked. Taylor nodded. "Why?"
"Well, Kris had this idea that she wanted to have a baby around the same time Ginger was going to have one so they could grow up and be best friends all their lives type of thing. The reason we were going to get married, well, at least one of the reasons, was so we could have try to have a kid when Ginger got pregnant. Then when we told you we were getting married we found out Ginger was pregnant, and me and Kris actually started trying right away, but she died before it could happen."
"I had no idea you were trying to have a child."
"It was just part of her big happy plan to have a kid that could grow up to be as close as her and Ginger. After she died it couldn't happen so the first thing that came to my mind was adoption. I could adopt a baby and I could make Kris happy that way." Zac looked over at Jenny.
"I think that would be a good idea," he said. "Jenny's not going to have any siblings, the best thing for her would be to have a really close cousin."
"And it works out great because they're both girls." Zac nodded.
"Wait until we tell Ginger, she's going to freak," he said, smiling. "Ten bucks says she's going to cry."
"No way, I know she's going to cry!" Taylor sat back and looked at Jenny. "Imagine that. You and me raising two girls on our own." He shook his head. "That's going to be hell once they start dating."
"Eh, we can dump them on Roni."
"True," Taylor said, nodding. "Hey, Zac?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think you'll ever get married again?" he asked, looking over. Zac immediately shook his head. "Really? You're only 19, you've got your entire life ahead of you, you don't think you'll ever get married again?"
"No way. Do you?"
"Yeah, if I find the right person. It's still going to take a long time before I'm ready to start dating again."
"I don't think I'll ever be able to date someone else. I'll be comparing them all to Ginger," Zac said. "Ginger is definitely my one and only."
"Yeah, I thought that. I'm still somewhat thinking that. But if Kris was the one, the one I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with, don't you think I'd be spending the rest of my life with her?"
"I don't follow."
"If Kris was the one I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with, would God really have taken her away from me so early?" Zac thought about it and shook his head.
"You know, the least you could have done was waited until my wife was dead before you asked me that question," he said, getting up and walking out of the room. Taylor shrugged and looked over at Jenny who was still quietly sleeping.
Chapter Thirteen
The day Ginger lost control of her left arm Taylor came home with his new daughter. Jenny was a week and a half old and Ginger was having a hard time taking care of her by herself. Zac still went to class three times a week, so when he wasn't around and Ginger needed help, she called across the way to Roni, who was more than glad to help out. She was getting weaker every day and slept just as much as Jenny did, but she was happy to be at home with her new daughter.
"Who is this?" Ginger asked after opening the door for Taylor and his little girl. Ginger carefully took her in her right arm and they walked towards the living room. Taylor waited until she sat down before he answered her question.
"That's my daughter."
"What the hell?" she asked, looking up at him. "Your daughter? You have a daughter?" He nodded. "Who's the mother?"
"Some fifteen-year-old girl," Zac answered from the recliner. Ginger's face turned to disgust.
"You slept with a fifteen-year-old girl?" she yelled.
"No! No, Zac is just a moron. Yes, her mother is a fifteen-year-old girl, but I'm not the father. I adopted her." Ginger let out a sigh of relief and sat back. Zac was laughing but she shot him a look and he shut up.
"That scared the shit out of me. I thought you knocked up some little girl," she said. "Oh, she's so pretty! Why'd you adopt her?" Taylor sat down next to Ginger, allowing the girl to grip one of his fingers.
"Well, you see, it had a lot to do with Kris." Ginger looked over at him. "She told me she wanted to have a baby around the same time you did so they could grow up to be like the two of you. After we found out you were pregnant we started trying, but she died before we conceived, and I figured the only way I could make Kris happy was to adopt a baby. She was just born yesterday."
"She's beautiful," Ginger said, tearing up. She quickly shook her head and wiped away a tear. "What's her name?"
"Mei-Ling."
"Mei-Ling? What the hell kind of name is that?" Ginger asked.
"Her mother wanted to name her. I figured it was the least I could do. She's Mei-Ling Elizabeth."
"What a name," Ginger said, shaking her head. "Mei-Ling." The girl squirmed a bit in her lap. "I think her and Jenny will get along just fine. Where is Jenny anyway?" she asked, looking up.
"Over there," Zac said, pointing to the loveseat. Jenny was sleeping on one of the cushions. Over the past week and a half they've found out that Jenny preferred to sleep on one of the couches in the living room to her own crib or Zac and Ginger's bed upstairs. Ginger looked over.
"Oh." Zac looked at her and Ginger shook her head, looking confused. "Who put her down?"
"You did." She looked at Jenny, down at Mei-Ling, then quickly handed Taylor his daughter and ran out of the room. Taylor looked at Zac. "It's another part of her deterioration. She's just upset." Zac stood up. "If Jenny wakes up, yell, I'm going to check on her." Zac walked to the doorway and froze.
"What?" Taylor asked.
"Call Dr. Whyte, his number's right next to the phone in the kitchen." Taylor got up quickly and glanced at the hallway Zac was standing in front of. Ginger was out cold on the ground.
Zac looked at the clean white floor of the hospital room, his vision blurred as it had been since he brought his wife here about four hours ago. He hadn't heard anything yet but Ginger had been left alone and he sat in a chair beside her bed, unable to look at her. Her pulse was weak, he could hear that from the machine they had her hooked up to, but they hadn't said anything about her being dead, so he was hopeful.
He'd left Jenny with Roni and Isaac. Taylor was over there with Mei-Ling and he said he'd be coming over as soon as both girls were down for the night. Zac said he'd call the minute he heard something, but it'd been four hours and he still hadn't heard anything. He was still waiting for someone to come in and tell him his wife wasn't going to make it this time.
"Hey," Taylor said, opening the door. "How is she?" Zac looked up.
"They haven't told me anything."
"Really? It's been four hours!"
"I know. They haven't told me anything. I don't think they want to tell me. Everybody here knows Ginger, they've been dealing with her for years. I'm sure it's hitting them hard too." Taylor walked up and looked at Ginger. Zac did the same. She was hooked up to numerous wires and tubes, monitoring her vital signs. "I don't know what's going on and I don't like it one bit. I want to know if she's alive or not."
"She's still alive."
"It doesn't look like it."
Ginger lay in quiet rest as the noises of her monitors disturbed her peace. She wasn't moving, she didn't look to be breathing on her own, and her pulse was very weak. Her eyes were gently closed and her held tilted to one side. Zac tore his eyes away quickly. This wasn't his wife before him. It hadn't been his wife around him these past few months. His wife was full of energy with a smile on her face. She'd bounce around and be her bubbly self. He hadn't seen that since before Kristina died.
The door opened and both boys looked over as Dr. Whyte came in. He didn't look like he had good news. "Hello," he said. Zac took in a deep breath. His tone of voice said it all. She wasn't going to make it.
"So what's going on?" Taylor asked.
"We did everything we could, but even if Ginger would have accepted treatment I don't think we would have been able to save her this time. I took a CT scan of her once she got here and she had three tumors growing in her brain. Two of them we could have removed surgically, but the third, the largest one, was in such a place that we wouldn't have been able to remove it. Over the past few weeks it'd spread to her medulla, which controls all of her non-voluntary actions�heartbeat, breathing, everything you don't control in your body but need to live. The machines we have her on right now will keep her alive, but there is no chance of recovery."
"Is she in any pain?" Zac asked, looking at her.
"No. She can't feel a thing." Zac nodded.
"Then what do we do?" he asked.
"If you keep her on the machines she'll be like that forever. If you take her off, she will die. It's your decision," Dr. Whyte said. "I have consent papers for you to sign if you do decide to take her off. I'll give you time to think about it, if you'd like." Zac shook his head.
"No," he said. "No, that won't be necessary. She doesn't want to live like this. I'll sign your papers."
"All right." He had the clipboard already in his hand. He walked over to Zac, explained what the papers meant and what he was signing. Taylor put his hands on his little brother's shoulders as he signed his name and Dr. Whyte removed Ginger's machines. Zac took his wife's hand in his and looked at her as her heart monitor stopped beeping and became an eerie flat line. Dr. Whyte checked her vitals and looked at his watch. "Time of death is 22:22."
"What time is it?"
"10:22." Zac brushed Ginger's hair out of her face.
"How odd."