Chapter Nine



“So do you want to stay back here or go out there?” Zac asked, backstage at his concert the next night. They'd just gotten there and already it was exciting. Ginger had never been backstage before and definitely when the concert was still hours away.

“Well let me think, Zac,” she said. “I can stay back here and watch you guys closer and save my skin, or I go out in the crowd with thousands of screaming people trying to get a better look at guys I already know. What would you prefer?”

“To watch it on TV in the privacy of my own home without the screaming people.” She smiled. “So you, Kris, and Roni can sit offstage with earplugs while the rest of them have to suffer.”

“Poor fans.” Taylor walked up.

“Hey, Zac, are you ready for the sound check?” he asked. Zac sighed and looked out on the stage. He was going to miss all this.

“Yeah.”

Isaac joined up with them onstage, carrying his guitar. Before they began the three boys looked out into the place. Thousands of seats sat empty, all facing them. In just a few hours the place would be full of people, screaming and holding signs, their faces made up and their best outfits on. But in a few hours, it would all be over. Ginger finally realized how much he loved doing this; how much of his life he spent pounding away on his drums. Something like that wasn’t exactly easy to give up. But he was and she felt horrible.

Kris noticed the distraught look on Ginger's face as she watched them on the stage. “Hey, what’s up?” she asked.

“Why is he giving this up? Just because of me? Ike's been with Roni for some time now and he hasn’t even thought about giving up the thing he loves more than anything. I know Zac loves this more than he loves me, why is he choosing me?”

“Ginger, you’re wrong. Zac doesn’t love anything more than you. He loves you more than he loves himself and more than life itself.” She shook her head.

“There’s tons of people in the music business with wives and girlfriends, I mean it’s a part of life. You fall in love, you get married, you know? Why can’t he be one of them? I’d be willing to either wait at home or even go with them and stuff. Kris if you saw the look in his eyes when Taylor mentioned earlier that this was their last concert…you would definitely think my way. I could see his whole world from the past ten years or so just crumble into a pile of dust. He’s only been ‘famous’ for six years, but he’s been at it for longer than that. I see him all the time banging on the table and stuff like that, he loves what he’s doing I really don’t like the fact that I’m taking it away from him.”

“You’re not taking anything away. This is his choice. Of course he’s upset because it’s change and people don’t like change.”

“All I can say is that tonight is going to be one long night.” Kris looked out at the three boys in center stage. They sounded beautiful together and apart they were even better. All three voices were angelic, like God put them on the earth just to sing. They were so peaceful out there, so happy.

“But you do have to admit this is a dream come true,” Kris said, her eyes still on them. “You do have to admit that we are the two luckiest people alive to be sitting backstage at a Hanson concert, before the concert even begins, listening to them sing. I still cannot believe you are going to be married to him.”

“Kris, it’s more of a wonder to me then to anyone," Ginger said. "As much as I try, inside I’m still screaming about this whole thing. Whenever he touches me it sends chills down my back. To realize that five years ago I was a fan, sitting in the audience, screaming.”

“Yeah. I really enjoyed doing that.” Then it hit her.

“He’s making a mistake.” Kris finally took her eyes off them and let them rest on her sister. She kept her eyes on him. The smile on his face as he let his notes ring out, the look in his eyes as he imagined all the people that were going to be there, and his happiness from being onstage.

“What?”

“He’s making a mistake! He’s making the biggest mistake of his life to give this up. Just look how happy there are out there. They’ve been doing this for God knows how long and they love it! I don’t give a damn if I stay home and I see him one day out of every three years. I want him to do this!”

“Are you sure?” she asked. Ginger nodded. “He’s not going to like it.”

“I already said I don’t give a damn.”

Kris and Ginger patiently waited as they finished their sound check and the things they do before a concert. As the screams outside swelled, she grabbed Zac. “Hey, I need to talk to you.” She kept her voice stern but sweet. She didn’t want him to think he was in trouble or something. But he saw through it and instantly started to worry.

“Well we’re going to be out there in a little while, can it wait until the end of the show?” he asked, trying to avoid it. She shook her head and put up her hand.

“Five minutes. This is important.” He glanced around. “Please?” She looked up at him, widening her eyes. They were already glossed over from what she was feeling inside.

“All right. We can go right in here,” he said, opening a door and pulling her inside. He walked to the other side of the room and leaned against the wall. She closed the door softly, then flipped around.

“What the hell are you thinking?"

“Huh?”

“What the hell are you thinking when you are telling everyone that this is your last concert? I saw you out there on stage, you love this too much to give it up.”

“It’s not that important…”

“Bull shit!” she yelled. “I want to know the exact reaction when you told your brothers you wanted to stop.” He sighed, looking away.

“It was March 31, last year.”

“So you’ve been planning this a while?” He nodded.

“Yeah. I sat the guys down and I told them I wanted to quit. Of course they’re thinking it was a joke. It was the day before April Fools so they thought I lost track of days. But once I told them I was serious, Taylor got really pissed. He screamed at me and called me a selfish brat and everything, while Ike was too much in shock to say anything. Once I told them why, they let up a little but they were still mad. Ginger, you’ve known about this for a long time, why do you talk to me about a half an hour before the show starts?”

“Well at first I was shocked, then I thought it was sweet and stuff that you’d want to do this for me. I've never seen you this close at a performance before so I never realized until now how much you love doing this and I don’t want to take you away from it. Kris and I were talking and we were reminiscing about old times when we went to your concerts and had so much fun. They’re millions of people out there just like us who have so much fun and their lives are so much better because of you. I can’t let them down just so you can be with me. You can be with me anytime…this is something you love to do. You love to do this so much more than I can imagine, what the hell are you thinking when you say you’ll give it up? In a month you’ll be sitting, bored out of your mind and there will be an empty space in your life that won’t come back! To give up a dream finally achieved is like giving up a part of your life that’s been there since before you can remember. It's not like you've lost your voice. You're better than ever! You can't just leave at the height of your career because you wasn’t to spend time with me.”

“It’s not as important as a life with you.”

“Like I said before, that's crap. I don’t care if you say it's not as important, because I can see it in you right now. If you give this up for good then I’m out of here. You will be stuck with nothing, Zac. You do know that I have a life-threatening disease swarming through me. As much as I don’t like to say it and I don't want to believe it, I may die in the next few years. I may not be around as long as you hope. So if you give this up and I die, you will have just wasted it all for everyone. There are other people in this band besides you. I wouldn’t have minded as much if you were by yourself, but you’re not. There are two other front men and a whole bunch of back-up players. You are giving this up for them too. If I’m gone, you will still have two brothers to face every day. You will regret this.”

“Stop talking like you know my life, Ginger! We may have been together for three years but you do not know me. You do not know me at all. When we make a decision, we stick to it and that’s final. I have made this decision and that is it. Taylor and Isaac have agreed to finish this with me. It did take a lot, but they agreed. You do not know them and you do not know me. We have never had a fight before; we have never spent more than a week with each other. You seem to have forgotten who I am. If this is the way it is, then that is it. But if you even think about threatening to leave because of one of my decisions I will have to hunt you down and bring you back. I don’t care if it takes the rest of my life, I will find you. I love you more than anything. I love you more than my life; I love you more than life itself. If you went away then I would have nothing left to live for. If you die then I would die inside. I may still have my soul in my body but it would just be a jumbled mess in the corner. You are my life. You own my soul and I love you is not even the beginning.”

She stifled her sob, letting it swell in her throat. He took a deep breath and pulled her against him. She grabbed onto his shirt, putting her face in his shoulder. His words were more than she could even think of. She knew she loved him dearly but after hearing him she had to love him more, but she knew no matter what, she couldn't let him stop.


Zac walked out in front of the curtain and a spotlight hit him. Thousands and thousands of screaming fans suddenly grew silent. It was the first time that any of them walked onstage and had silence. Zac only knew it was because this would be their last chance to actually hear him talk.

“Well thank you, I think. I hope you’re all not mad at me and giving me the silent treatment or something,” Zac slyly said into a hand-held microphone. “I have a treat for you guys. While the others are getting ready behind me, I want to have a little time with just you and me. Is that okay?” The audience started to clap and scream, then let it fade away. “Great! To tell you the truth, all three of us are going to be doing a solo. Isaac has his ‘More Than Anything’ song, and Taylor’s got something later on. I’m going to sing something that I don’t think you all know. If you don’t, or even if you do, listen to the words cause it don’t get much better than this!”

The audience once again screamed and clapped, then faded away. “All right then. Now this is a capella, just me singing here so it’ll be easier to hear me. I don’t mind a few applauding here and there, but I want you guys to really listen to the words. And now, I have the power of the music of the night.” He centered himself on the stage and closed his eyes before starting.

Ginger watched backstage, her nail in her mouth. Kris and Roni sat on either side of them, Taylor and Isaac off to the side. He looked so peaceful out there. Singing his heart of to a song off of Phantom of the Opera, his crowd was silent in awe of his splendor. Kris put her arm around her sister.

"He'll be all right, honey."

"No he won't."

"You already talked to him about it," Kris said. "And he'll make his decision. You never know, one of these days he might get so bored lying around the house with the four hundred kids you guys will have, he'll get up and start making music again."

"I hope so."

"I know he will. One of these days."

Ginger gave her sister a smile and looked back out at Zac on the stage. He was finishing up his song. She'd missed it because she was worrying about him. Slightly annoyed, she pushed her feelings aside and smiled at her fiancé as he looked over at her. He winked. As his final note drifted off, a stunned audience cheered and screamed. People started getting on their feet, clapping loudly. He didn’t expect the reaction he got, but smiled anyway.

“Thank you,” he said. “And the show shall begin.” The curtain opened and the concert began. They opened with their latest release. Taylor ran back to the drums, Isaac on the keyboards, and Zac on the guitar. They played half of the first verse until Isaac looked around and stopped playing.

“Hey guys! There’s something wrong here,” he said. “I don’t play keyboards.” So Zac ran to the keyboards, Isaac ran to the drums, and Taylor over to the guitar. They played the rest of the verse until Zac stopped.

“Wait guys. I don’t play keyboards either.” So they all ran to their right instruments and the show rolled on until an hour later, where the curtain closed and Isaac stepped out.

Zac ran backstage and over to Ginger. He was pretty sweaty. “Hello,” he simply said.

“Hello.” Everyone backstage knew they had a fight in that room only because the whole theater could hear them yelling at each other. Kris had talked to Ginger about it and she felt completely embarrassed.

“You know, you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen,” he pointed out, cupping her face in his hands. She smiled and kissed him. Taylor even walked by and had to comment.

“It’s only been an hour, my God!” Ginger pushed Zac away.

“You’re all sweaty, go away.” He walked behind her and stuck his sweaty arms around her. “Ew!!” she squealed and looked to Kris. “Kristina, help me! He’s getting his icky sweat all over me.” She pointed and laughed at her.

“Ha!” Suddenly Taylor came up from behind her and grabbed her. Ginger pointed and laughed.

“Ha!” Roni walked up and shook her head.

“I swear you guys, one of these days you’re going to die laughing at each other. This is why my guy is out there so we don’t have this problem.” A wave of applause came from the audience, signaling the guys’ return to the stage. Zac and Taylor ran back onstage for another hour of performances, then Isaac and Zac came back and Taylor stayed out. The audience cheered as he came out.

“Hello! Well…you guys heard Zac sing something from the Phantom of the Opera, Isaac sang something he wrote years ago, and me? I’m not that creative; I’m singing Bryan Adams!” The screams lifted and Taylor smiled. “Oh, so you like him, huh? Well then I guess you’ll like this then.” He pulled up a stool and sat down. “But I do have to give you a short story about why I chose to sing this. It’s not long so don’t worry. I’m sure you don’t have anywhere else to be.” The crowd screamed again.

“Okay, so a few days ago when we were deciding which songs to sing tonight, Zac and Isaac had their choices out and I had absolutely no idea what to sing. I mean, I wanted to make it great and all, but I couldn't think of anything. But that all changed. Someone walked into my life and she’s here tonight. I figured this would be the best opportunity to tell her how she affects my life now. It’s only been a day but I can definitely tell that she is something special. This is for you Kris,” he said, looking off stage. The crowd fell silent. They knew about Ginger now they found out Taylor wasn’t going to be available to them either.

Backstage Ginger nudged Kris. She blushed. Ginger nudged Zac and he didn't say anything. "Oh come on, sweetheart. I'm sure Taylor doesn't announce everybody he's ever met to a crowd of thousands of girls, now does he?"

"No, he doesn't," Zac said. "But still." Kris looked at him. "What? You're my sister! I have to be somewhat protective of you."

"Zac, that's gross."

"How is that gross?" he asked.

"Taylor's your brother and now you're calling me your sister?" Zac thought about it.

"Okay. You're my best friend." Kris smiled.

"Shut up, I'm missing my song." Taylor was out there crooning to a Bryan Adams song and Kris put her hands over her heart, leaning onto Ginger. Ginger giggled and put her arms around her sister.

When Taylor was finished Zac and Isaac ran onstage to finish their last hour of the music business. They did ten songs that hour, ten of their greatest songs, and didn’t stop until Zac said “Hold up!”

“What?” Isaac asked, looking at him as much as he could without turning his back to the audience.

“Well, we’re about to go into the last song of the night. We might as well say something.”

“Yeah, it kind of sucks, doesn’t it?” Taylor asked. “Last song ever.” Zac shook his head.

“Well, not ever.”

“What do you mean? Aren’t we stopping after tonight?” Isaac asked. They staged the hold up, but Zac blew them away with his last comment.

“The audience has been so good. We’ve been doing this three hours and half of them don’t have their voice anymore. They all look so good and everything…I think we come back in a few years.” From backstage, Ginger looked at Kris and smiled.

“That sounds good to me, how bout you Ike?” Taylor said, smiling. Isaac nodded.

“Yeah, sounds good.” The audience screamed with excitement. “How about all the back up musicians?” They all nodded. “They seem happy about it. So, with that!”

“I want everyone singing. You know it! I don’t mean just the audience, I want the people backstage, I want the back-up musicians, the lighting crew, every person in this theater better be singing!” Zac yelled. “That’s an order! I want the roof to blow off!” So they started the last song of the night. MMMBop. The whole theater boomed with the voices of thousands and thousands of people singing a creation of the three boys on the stage. They were still blown away that a song they created so many years ago was now something thousands of people were singing.

“All right, you guys. We love you too much. We have to thank you all for supporting us throughout the years. It’s been real, and it’s been a blast!” Taylor screamed.

The three brothers joined hands in center stage and bowed. They waved and let the rush of screams overcome them. It was too much for Zac as he felt a part of him die inside. He blew a kiss and walked slowly offstage. He didn’t stop until he was in Ginger's arms, crying.

She hadn’t seen him cry before—at least not like this. She’d seen him tear up and let a few loose but nothing compared to this. Ginger looked down at him and sighed. The boy had grown up through music and in the spotlight, and now it was all over. Zac had given himself hope with saying they'd come back in a few years, but that was still a few years away from something he'd been in since before he could remember.

Taylor held onto Kris, his eyes closed. Isaac sat in a chair with Roni on his lap, looking away. Walker and Diana were watching their three oldest in appreciation. They’d gone through what older people had done and made it out so much better. Some older people went through the fame and resorted to drugs and alcohol. But the three boys were strong and made it through with a smile on their face and a straight mind.

“Shh,” Ginger whispered to Zac, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s okay, baby.” She kept repeating those three words to him until his crying subsided. He held on tightly, keeping his face in her shoulder. This is why she was mad at him earlier. She knew how he was going to react.

“You were right,” he finally said. “I hate to say it but you were right.” She smiled and looked down at him. He had a red face and bloodshot eyes, but he was still the most wonderful person in the world. He kissed her and then swept her off her feet and into his arms. “I love you.”

“I’ll bet you five bucks I love you more.”


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