It'd been two years since Ginger had seen Zac, and those were the two longest, most painful years of her life. Her cancer dominated most of the time, leaving her sick nearly every day with visits in and out of the hospital. She showed no improvement with radiation treatments and her doctor switched her to chemotherapy. Because of her hospitalization, she hardly went to school, and her lack of attendance caused her grades to slip to barely passing, and her entire personality took an immediate turn for the worst. Between not having seen her boyfriend in years and losing her hair from the chemotherapy, she slipped into depression. One of the symptoms of her cancer was a sudden change in personality, and that change became evident as soon as Zac left. In moments she went from happy to sad and the most prominent personality change was her retreat to childhood, where she acted like she was a kid again who needed constant care.
Although Zac always promised to come see Ginger soon, conflicting schedules made it impossible for them to see each other. He broke promises often, and on March 23, 2003, two days before Ginger's eighteenth birthday, Zac said he�d come by and stay for a while. Then again, that�s what he said for her sixteenth and her seventeenth. She had two months before she graduated high school. He was supposed to propose in two months, but she didn't know how he was going to do that if she hadn't even seen him in two years.
Her cancer went into remission about four months beforehand. She was stuck without any hair for a year and a half. Once the treatments stopped it grew back fast and strong, and was down to her chin already. She took Diana�s advice and saw her sisters in the summer of 2001. She stayed with each of them for two weeks and bonded with them for the first time. They�re coming down for her graduation. She figured that would be the next time she'd see Zac; he wouldn�t come down for her birthday. He hadn�t before even though he said he would. Recently other people had even asked her out, but she'd always turn them down, saying she still had a boyfriend.
Now she sat on her bed, staring at the phone. He was supposed to call, but obviously he hadn�t yet. Kristina watched from the desk, concerned. �You can�t just stare and make the phone ring,� she said. Ginger looked over at her. �You�ve been wasting your life away for the past two years. If it was me, I�d be going out with whoever asks.�
�Well, Kris, that�s the difference between me and you. You�ll go out with other people, but I won�t. I�m still technically his girlfriend and I don�t feel like cheating on him with some loser who asks.�
�You�re not cheating on him if he doesn�t know,� Kris said.
�What the hell are you getting at, Kris? Are you telling me that I should get over Zac so I can go out with someone who�s just going to dump me in two weeks? I don�t want to do that. I�m still in love with him, and I don�t care if he doesn�t come at all.�
Kris put together Ginger's words in her head carefully and studied them before responding. �You said you�re still in love with him. Okay, I understand that. But do you still love him?� Ginger paused to think. �See, you have to think about it. I don�t know what to tell you, Ginger, but you better think long and hard about what you're doing to yourself here.� The phone rang. They both knew who it was. Ginger glanced at it and then back at her sister. �Think hard about it, I don�t want you to waste your life.� Ginger closed her eyes and took the phone. Kris went back to her computer games.
�Hello?�
�Tell me what you�re thinking,� Zac�s voice said. He sounded so sweet and caring over the phone. It was too weird.
�Do you really want to know?" Ginger asked.
"Yes, I really want to know."
"I�m thinking about why you still care," she said, opening her eyes. "It�s been two years, Zac. I haven�t seen you in two whole years and yet you still end every phone call with an I love you.�
�Because I do, Ginger. I don�t give a damn if the physical you isn�t around, all I know is I can still hear your voice and that�s all that matters to me,� he said.
�Well it fucking doesn�t for me!� she said, her voice rising. �I�ve been waiting for you for 730 plus days for you to swing by and give me a hug and a kiss and go away. I just want to see you again.�
�I�m sorry if I�m busy!�
�You went on a tour of the United States, Zac. You went to Miami and Orlando. Who the hell is there, huh? You can�t swing by on your way from Miami to Orlando to say hello to your girlfriend? It�s not that fucking far out of your way!�
�Oh yeah, I�ll just jump out of the plane over Tampa and knock on your door.�
�I�m not asking for much, Zac. A simple five-minute visit so I can see you again. With my state of health and attitude I am completely surprised that you haven�t done anything.�
�Don�t bring your health into this, Ginger. I said nothing was going to change when you were diagnosed and nothing did. I didn�t treat you differently because you didn�t want to be.�
�A normal person would of done something.�
�I�m not normal! You of all people should know that my life and my existence are not normal. I am not the way everyone else is. Do you have any idea how much shit I got into for mentioning you in my acceptance speech for the award at the Grammy's? Record sales dropped��
�Gee, I�m recalling a conversation we had once. I believe you said something about you wishing that the fame were gone so you could be with me. Am I right?�
�I was na�ve back then, Ginger. I was too bottled up in you to think about anything else. And obviously you�re too damn selfish to think of others,� he said, losing his temper. They'd been like this a lot lately. She kept pressuring him to stop by to see her and he kept telling her no, he didn't have the time, and they'd start to fight. It was why he stopped calling so often and why they didn't stay on the phone longer than ten minutes.
�Don�t even think about calling me selfish, Zac. I will hang up this phone right now and your plan with me will be null and void. I�ll call that one guy who desperately wanted to go out with me and tell him yes.�
�You wouldn�t think about doing that. You care too much.�
�Goodbye Zac.�
�NO!!!� he screamed. �Don�t.� His tone lowered to soft and worried. �Please.� Ginger bit her lip. His ways were too much for her.
�I don�t know.�
�I�m coming for your birthday. I can swear it to you. I will be there. If you want me to stay then meet me on your birthday, Gate 7 at 10 am. I stick around just in case you�re late. But if you�re not there at 10:30, I�ll go home and you can talk to that other guy.� He hung up to leave her to think. Ginger sighed, and looked at Kristina. She had only heard one side of the conversation. Ginger didn't wait for her to say anything; all she would do was condone her conversation with him.
�He wants me to meet him on my birthday at the airport or he doesn�t want to see me again. I don�t know what to do,� Ginger said.
�What do you mean you don�t know what to do? You�re going to be at the airport and you�re going to give him the biggest kiss he�s had!� She looked at her sister, worried tears in her eyes.
�I�m not sure I want to.�
Kris's mouth dropped. She got up and walked over to Ginger, ready to slap some sense into her. �I don�t know you anymore. You�re not the sister I grew up with. I don�t know where she is but I�m afraid I�m going to find her tied up somewhere.�
�I'm just sick of fighting with him. I don't want him to come here and have everything be all messed up like it is on the phone. We keep yelling and screaming�I don't think I could handle it. I don't think I want him to come.�
�Oh my God, are you sick again?� Kris asked, climbing up on Ginger's bed. �Are you all right? I mean seriously you�re not acting like yourself. You�re not acting like my sister!�
�No, Kris. I�m fine. The cancer is in remission and it�s going to stay like that for five years so I don�t get it back. Leave me alone, I need to think about this.� Ginger turned away from her sister and closed her eyes. She didn't stay down long before she sat up and looked at her sister again. �Since you know everything, you can tell me what I�m supposed to do. Should I go to the airport or not?� Ginger asked.
�You�ll have to decide that on your own. You�ve clearly shown me here that you can go either way," Kris said, but Ginger just looked at her skeptically. "I�m telling you the truth, Ginger. You know in your heart exactly what you want to do. And think about it, do you really want to get married to this guy?�
�I don�t know,� she said, biting her lip.
�You will.�
Kris sat alone, waiting for the plane to arrive. She worriedly bit on her nails, glancing around. She had milked as much information out of Ginger as possible the day before. Last night had been hell. It left her tired and her eyes bloodshot. She kept her head down so no one would be able to look at her. The airport was filled with noise and boarding calls. People ran around like maniacs, trying to get to the gate before the plane took off. Kris glanced at the door frantically, biting harder on her nails.
To her surprise, the doors opened promptly at ten o�clock. Quickly she scanned the people coming out for a familiar face. He was among the last wave of people to get off the plane. Once his face appeared, Kris got up and went to him. He was surprised to see her and not Ginger.
�Why are you here?�
�I had to get you.�
�Where�s Ginger?� he asked, suspiciously.
�At home,� she said. He shook his head and was about to walk away, but she stopped him. �She�s not going to come because she was awake all last night debating in her head whether or not to show up. When I left she was still up. She�s not acting like herself, Zac. She hasn�t acted like herself in years.� Zac decided to listen in, and they started walking. �She says she doesn�t miss you but I know she does. She says she doesn�t love you anymore but then she talks in her sleep at night and all her dreams are about you. She doesn�t grasp concepts anymore. I mean before she met you writing was her whole entire life. She hasn�t written a word in a year and a half.�
�And this isn�t herself?� Zac asked, looking over.
�Not at all. Zac, you�re throwing her emotions around and she doesn�t know how to deal with it. I don�t know what your life is like or who you�ve done this to before but you cannot do it to my sister. You haven�t noticed, and neither have my parents because they�re not around as much as I am. She�s not right�you know�upstairs.�
�What are you talking about? Are you saying she�s crazy or something?�
�No! She�s not crazy, but she might be on a road to it. Her whole life is whacked. Not only with medical problems that cost us tons and tons of money but her emotions aren�t right. Remember when I called you saying that she had just taken a shower with her clothes on?�
�Yes.�
�That only led to worse and worse things. Her cancer's given her personality changes and she goes through them all the time. She gets in these moods where she's like a little kid and you have to treat her that way until she comes out of it. She's really depressed too and I worry about her. She�s got mental problems that no one�s discovered or even thought about. And it all goes back to her parents dying and being separated from her brother.� Zac looked over immediately.
�I thought she said she never told you about her brother,� Zac said.
�She talks about him without even knowing it.� Kristina looked at him. �Is that your only bag?�
�Yeah, so this is some kind of whole psychological thing that goes back to her parents dying?� Kris nodded, and switched directions, going out of the airport and to the car.
�Zac, did she ever tell you about her parents? What they were like or how exactly they died?� Zac shook his head. �They were good people, I hear it from her sisters. They had a good time with her and loved her a lot. But they had short tempers and no way to control it. They yelled at her a lot for no reason. So you could see what that did to her.�
�So, how�d they die?�
�You know it�s a car crash, but she saw her parents actually die. She was only five but she remembers it like it happened five minutes ago. Imagine being five, looking up and seeing your father�s skull being cracked open and your mother�s body go through the front windshield.� Zac thought about it and looked away. �I know it�s bad but it happened to her so you should know. If you seriously want to spend your life with her, think about things from her point of view.�
They came to the car and Zac got in the passenger�s side, while Kristina drove home. When they pulled up in the driveway, she turned to him. �I want you to go up there and spend some time with her. She�s not in one of her better moods because she hasn�t slept all night, but be patient with her. If you even think about raising your voice prepare to be knocked off the second story to the house, and it won�t be by her.�
Zac got out and went through the kitchen, past the dining room and up the stairs. He threw his bag in the guest room and took a deep breath before walking into Ginger's room. She was laying in bed, trying to fall asleep but having no luck. Zac waited until she shifted a few times before walking over and trying to get her attention.
�Hun, I�m home,� he said. She opened her eyes and turned to him, greatly surprised.
�Why are you here?" she asked, reaching out to touch him. She outlined his face with her fingers and smiled. �Thank you for coming.�
�Thank you sister for making me stay.� He took her hand in his and kissed it. �You�re so beautiful, I can�t even think about letting you go.�
�Come up here, honey. I missed you.� Zac slipped off his shoes and climbed up onto the bed, lying next to her. �I�m sorry. I�m sorry for getting upset at you and everything. I should have never even thought about saying something like that. I don�t want to lose you.�
�It�s all right, I�m here now. You�re not going to lose me, I can promise it.� She put my arms around his neck and pulled herself close to him. �I love you.�
�I love you too.�
It really had been a long night, after thinking and all, and before she knew it, Ginger had fallen asleep in his arms. He held her tight, hoping she would be asleep for a while. That time was his only time with her and he didn�t want to leave. Kristina walked in a little while later. Zac put his finger to his lips and then pointed at Ginger. She smiled. �Looks like you have the magic touch with her, Zac,� she whispered. �That�s the only way she�ll fall asleep lately. I�ve had to hold her myself a couple of times.�
�You two are so close.� She nodded.
�We have to be, I�m her only friend. Everyone ditched her when she started losing her hair,� Kris said. Zac gave her a strange look. �I�m guessing she didn�t tell you. They put her on chemo a little while after the last time you saw her. She went into remission four months ago.�
Kris climbed up onto the bed and looked at Ginger. �She�s still showing symptoms, though. The tumor�s gone, completely wiped out, but she�s still having trouble. She used to get straight A�s in school and now she�s barely passing.�
�Geez.� He looked down at her and gently stroked her hair.
�The only reason she hasn�t totally given up in school is because she thinks you won�t propose if she doesn�t graduate.�
�I�ll go with it either way. Doesn�t matter to me. I just hope she does cause I�ve been working summers and over breaks so I can get my diploma this year.�
�Really? It�s a good thing she�s asleep or she�d be freaking out right now. You better weasel your way out of here or you�ll be stuck all day. Can�t believe it, it�s her birthday and she�s wasting it sleeping.�
�I don�t mind, I want to be here when she wakes up.�
�It�ll be a while.�
�Then I guess I�ll have to snooze a little too. I won�t be able to see her for a while after this and I want to make it count.� Kristina smiled and got off the bed.
�You�re too good to my sister, Zac. I really appreciate you.�