When I woke up in the morning Kris was still asleep in my arms. I smiled. I glanced back at the clock. Five-thirty. I was finally getting back on schedule again. I gave Kris a kiss and got carefully out of the bed. After a shower I settled into the kitchen with the newspaper and a cup of coffee.
Kris came out of the bedroom a couple of minutes later. "Hey beautiful," I said, giving her a smile.
"Hey baby." She kissed me. "Mmm�coffee�" I laughed a bit as she got herself a cup of coffee and sat down next to me. "I don't want to go." I almost forgot she was leaving today.
"I don't want you to go either," I said. "I was thinking about going to talk to Zac today. Maybe he's calmed down a bit." She nodded.
"Just be careful, okay? Don't mention Ginger's here."
"Do you think she's going to tell Zac she's pregnant?" I asked. Kris shook her head.
"No, she's not," she said. "She figures if he doesn't want to talk to her ever again, then she will never talk to him ever again."
"I just really think he should know something like that, especially if she decides to keep it." Kris sighed, agreeing. "But I won't mention anything to him. It's not my place." I stood up. "Do you want to go somewhere for breakfast?"
"Are you going to eat?"
"You know, Kris�" She gave me a look. "Yes."
"All right, then."
We found a breakfast restaurant not far away from my apartment. There was virtually nobody there, mostly because it was six in the morning on a Saturday and hardly anybody is awake at that time. The first thing I did was order some coffee, which made Kris smile. "I'm surprised you're not jumping off the walls," she said. "You're always drinking coffee."
"It's kind of a side effect," I explained. "Back when Leo and I were trying to get clean he started smoking and I started drinking coffee. At least my habit won't kill me."
"Getting clean?" she asked. "You were on drugs?"
"I never told you about that?"
"No!"
"I'm sorry," I said. "Leo got into it when we were fourteen or fifteen, I don't entirely remember. I got into it with him�it was really not cool."
"How long have you been off it?"
"Four years." She nodded. "That was the worst decision I have ever made. That's when I kept taking all of Zac's girlfriends from him, and I was never at home�Leo and I were out all the time getting loaded. I would shirk practices and miss interviews and I was late everywhere I went because I wasn't entirely there. Everything suffered because I just had to go out and get coked up with Leo."
"Well as long as you're better now, it doesn't really matter, now does it?" she said.
"I don't know, I did a lot of damage with that."
"Think about it, Taylor," Kris said, "if you spend your life clinging onto stuff that happened years ago, then you're going to be drowned with that crap the rest of your life! You won't be able to move on and you'll be so bogged down you'll never get anywhere and sitting in your pajamas by yourself in your room with no company but your what ifs."
"Maybe you should tell that to Zac," I said.
"Maybe you should tell that to Zac." I smiled.
"What am I going to do without you?"
"Well you have quite a bit of work ahead of you," she said. "You're going to be too busy to worry about me. And I'll be around. I'm flying on Ginger's tab."
"That's always the best kind of tab."
"Exactly."
"So what are you going to get?" she asked.
"Actually I think I'm good with just coffee." She looked at me. "What?"
"I think you should have the triple patty melt."
"I don't think so."
"I think so. Jesus Christ, Taylor, you haven't eaten a single thing since I've been here and yes a lot has gone on but that is no excuse. I don't know what the hell your problem is!" She got up.
"Whoa, where are you going?"
"I don't want to be with you if you're going to be like this!" she said. "I'll go stay with Ginger until we leave."
"No, no Kris, stay. Please?" I asked. She sighed and sat back down. "Listen to me, it's just been a terrible couple of days. I do eat! I promise promise promise that I do. Ask my family! We can go meet my family! We'll go right now." She crossed her arms. "Um�right after I eat a triple patty melt."
"Good thinking."
After breakfast I took Kris to go meet my family. "I'm kind of nervous," Kris admitted. We were in the driveway of my parent's house and Kris was rubbing her hands together, staring at the garage in front of us. One thing I've noticed about Kris is that her hands are always at subzero temperatures. She says it's just bad circulation. I don't know.
"Let's go inside," I said. I got out of the car and opened Kris's door for her. She took my hand and stepped out. I closed the car door and up the front sidewalk.
"Oh my God I'm scared." She was gripping my hand for dear life.
"I can tell," I said. "It's like I'm holding hands with a dead person."
"Well you had the air conditioning running full blast!"
"Why didn't you say something?"
"Because I wasn't cold! My hands were!" I shook my head and went inside the house. I wondered who was awake. It was eight-thirty on a Saturday morning and I'm sure at least one of my sisters was still asleep and would be for another couple of hours. Kris looked around, a smile on her face as she took in the immediate homeliness of my house.
"Hello?" I asked. "Is there anybody home?"
"Taylor?" My mother walked into the front room. "Oh, hi dear! I haven't seen you in days! Who is this?"
"Mom, this is my girlfriend Kris. Kris, this is my Mom."
"Diana," my mother immediately said. "Nice to meet you dear."
"Likewise."
"Taylor never mentioned he has a girlfriend," Diana said. Kris looked at me and I looked away, scratching the back of my head. "I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have said that."
"Don't worry," Kris said. "He'll get his." Diana gave Kris a smile and I was very happy to see that. My mother wasn't one to like anybody's girlfriend (especially when it came to Ginger) and I was glad that she was actually attempting to be nice to Kris.
"I bet he will," Diana said. She looked at me. "Taylor, it's nice that you brought Kris to meet me but I really don't think you should be here."
"Why not?" I asked.
"Well, your brother�."
"Oh, I'll deal with him," I said, shaking my head. "Where's everybody else?" My mother turned around and walked alongside Kris deeper into the house. I followed behind. My father and, surprisingly, all three of my sisters were in the living room. I introduced Kris to everyone, and everyone was surprised to hear she was my girlfriend. She was the first girl I've ever brought home to meet the family.
All of my family seemed to be too much for Kris so she and I settled in the kitchen with my mother. "So, how'd the two of you meet?" my mother asked.
"I'm a friend of G�" I shook my head. "�of Zac's. I'm a friend of Zac's." My mother nodded.
"Not a girlfriend?" she asked, lowering her voice and leaning in. Kris shook her head, a smile on her face. "Oh, okay. Taylor does have a habit of doing that."
"Well I think he's done now," Kris said, looking at me. I offered her a smile. She laughed. "It was adorable how Zac kept trying to keep us apart. He was worried Taylor would just treat me like all the others but what do you know? He didn't."
"No, I didn't." I heard pounding down the stairs and Zac appeared in the doorway. He glanced at me a moment before completely adverting his stare, making a point to only look at my mother.
"Hi Kris," he said first.
"Hi Zac."
"Mother," he said. "I've made a decision."
"Have you?" my mother asked. "Good for you."
"I'm moving out of the house."
"What? Why would you do something like that?" my mother asked.
"So I never have to see his face again," he said, pointing at me but still looking directly and only at our mother. My mom let out a very motherly groan.
"Zac, you're still going to see him at work."
"I'm quitting the band too."
"What?!" I yelled. He ignored me.
"I'm going to New York. I was offered a job out there and I'm going to take it. I'd just thought I'd let you know before I leave."
"Zac, you can't just do that. You're seventeen," my mother said.
"Mom, you have a choice. You can either let me go and I'll still be your son. I'll still call and visit and everything, or you can refuse. I'll be stuck here until I turn eighteen and then you'll never see me again. I'll be upstairs." He turned around and left.
"What just happened?" my mother asked.
"I'll be right back," I said. Before either of them could protest, I got up and ran out of the room, following my brother upstairs to his room. "Zac, what the hell are you thinking?"
"Get out of my room you fucking bastard," Zac said. I couldn't believe his room. When I had been here a few days ago it was just like it had always been but now it was stacked with boxes and looked completely bare.
"Zac, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I did it, but this is not a reason to just leave the band�leave the city! You can't just do this."
"I said get out of my room."
"You love this too much to just give it up. We can take a break and you can�" He turned around and hit me square in the face. The force was enough to get me out of the room. He slammed the door in my face with another curse in my direction.
"Taylor!" I looked over and Kris had come up the stairs. She ran over to me. "What happened?"
"He hit me," I said through my hands, which were over my nose that I felt bleeding. She pulled my hands away from my face.
"Oh God, you're bleeding. Where's the bathroom?" I walked with her into the bathroom and she sat me down and cleaned me up. "Does it hurt?"
"Not a whole lot," I told her. I was lying. It hurt like hell.
"Do you think he's really leaving?" she asked.
"He's already packing. It looks like he's going to be gone really soon." She shook her head. "I don't know what I'm going to do, Kris. That band is everything to me and there's no way we can go on without him. He's right. I am a fucking bastard."
"No you're not, Taylor," she said, giving me a comforting smile. "You just made a mistake. He's the one who's taking it too far. He's crazy. But think of it this way, you have more free time now."
"That doesn't help."
"Well you can do whatever you want," she said. "You can even come back to New York with me."
"I really should try to persuade Zac to stay," I said.
"I love how far you're getting. What's going to happen next? A broken arm?" I gave her a look. "Well, if he does go you're still welcome to travel around with me. I could use you, you're really handy."
"That's for damn sure." I grabbed her ass. She jumped.
"I wasn't talking about that," she said. "But�that too." She removed the washcloth from my face. "I think the bleeding stopped. Does it feel any better?"
"Not really. Maybe a kiss would help." She kissed me. "Yeah�that's better."
"Get up." She walked out of the bathroom and I followed. Zac had opened his door and was putting a box outside his door. "I'm going to talk to him."
"Try not to get hit," I told her.
"I'll try." She went into Zac's room and I went down the stairs. I found my mother very confused in the kitchen. She was trying to clean the counters but she was shaking so bad she wasn't get much done.
"Ma?" I asked. She looked back.
"Hi sweetie. That girlfriend of yours is one nice girl. I like her."
"I'm glad," I told her. "It means a lot to me that you like her."
"Where is she?"
"She's upstairs talking to Zac." My mother nodded. "What are you going to do about him, Ma?" She shrugged.
"I don't know," she said. "I guess I'm going to have to let him go! If I don't let him go I know he's just going to prod around here, refusing to do anything until he turns eighteen and he'll be so pissed at me he'll never see me again! It may seem unreasonable but he's an adult now and he can make his own decisions."
"But Ma, he's not an adult. He's seventeen."
"You know more than anybody that he's not a kid anymore. He's very capable of taking care of himself and there's nothing I can do to stop him. You know, it's gotten to the point where I can't control him! All I'm able to do is wag my finger and scream and holler but he doesn't take it from me."
"He just can't do this, Ma."
"Yes he can and he will. I know it's especially upsetting to you because the band is your life, but you can find something else to do. There's a million opportunities out there for you, all you have to do is find one." I sighed. The clock on the wall chimed and I looked at it. "Oh my God, Kris is going to miss her flight." I walked to the stairs. "Kris! We need to go!"
"Just a sec!" I waited and a moment later she came down the stairs.
"Well?" I asked.
"He's still going," she said, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. "There's nothing I can do. He's set on going. He did apologize for hitting you, though."
"Well that's a slight improvement."
"But he did say it like 'Well, I'm sorry for hitting the fucking bastard but�' and then he went on to insult you, so I don't know how much of an apology it was."
"Whatever. We better get going, you don't want to miss your flight."
"You're not going to come with me?" she asked. I shook my head.
"I have to try to work it out here. Then if I don't fix anything, which I most likely won't, I'll stay with you."
"All right." With a quick goodbye to my mother, we were out the door and I was seeing Kris off at the airport.