When the first bell for the first period class rang, Gracie was in her Chrysler Sebring convertible with a bright colored scarf around her neck, her long-sleeved shirt gone and her uniform shirt unbuttoned, going ninety down the interstate to the local mall. Things in the bathroom went from bad to worse and she figured staying at school really wasn't worth it. She climbed out the bathroom window and ran to her car, leaving before anyone noticed. No one had seen her there to begin with, and the only people who could say that she was at school were her sisters, and she'd have a bone to pick with them if they ratted on her. Skipping school, especially after her record of insolence and sleeping during class, was enough for her to get expelled. Well, it was better than school.
She pulled into a parking space at the mall and got out of the car. She'd put the top up and made sure to lock all the doors. But when she got out, her eyes fell on the car next to her. The door was unlocked. It was a nice car�a Mercedes. Who in a Mercedes wouldn't lock their doors?
Feeling lucky, she put her hand on the handle, and with a quick breath opened the car door. Half expecting an alarm, she bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut. When nothing happened, she smiled and went inside the car. She searched it, looking for anything she could take. She checked the floor and the back seat for anything lying around, and found a full pack of cigarettes. She didn't know this brand, but they'd be useful when she ran out of her pack. She stuffed it in her purse.
She checked the glove box and found a wallet. "Bob, what kind of person owns a Mercedes, doesn't lock their doors, and leaves their wallet in the car?" she asked.
"Is this supposed to be a joke?"
"No, I'm just asking."
"Well, I'd say it's your kind of person. Take the whole wallet. We can think about whatever's in it later. We don't want to be in here too long, whoever it is might come back." She put the wallet in her purse and closed the glove box.
"Let me see what's in the trunk first, all right?"
"Go right ahead." She reached over and popped the trunk then got out of the car. She ran around and opened the trunk, her shirt over her hand as she lifted it up. She found a few shopping bags.
"Jackpot," she said, smiling.
"Quick, take them and stick them in your car." She opened the trunk to her car and threw all of the packages in, then closed both trunks and walked to the entrance of the mall. "Check the wallet. There's got to be either money or credit cards in there." She pulled out the wallet from her purse and opened it up. There she found an array of credit cards, and forty dollars in cash.
"Perfect."
"You're so bad, Gracie," Bob said. "I didn't even think of going in the car. Hey, before you know if you won't even need me anymore. You'll be doing all the bad stuff yourself."
"No, Bob, I need you! You can't leave me. You're the only one who understands me. After I've been such a bitch to everybody, you're the only one left that I can talk to. Well, you and Isaac. Don't even think about starting with him, all right? I want to have a nice relationship with him before I let you ruin anything."
"I won't. I want you to fuck him before I do anything."
"I'm not going to fuck him." She opened the door to the mall. "I'm sorry, it's just not going to happen any time soon."
"Well then I'll have to start getting involved in the relationship. Hey, Gracie, there's a phone. Call him and have him meet you here."
"He's going to wonder why I'm not in school."
"You can say you didn't have school today."
"Are you stupid or something? I told him yesterday that I have a detention today and that I am going to school. He's going to know that I'm skipping."
"Hey, you're not skipping. You're taking a leave of absence�to the mall." Gracie rolled her eyes and took out a credit card and put the wallet back in her purse. She put the card in her pocket for easy access.
"Bob, I do have to admit this was a great idea. It's so much better than school."
"You're changing the subject, Gracie."
"Do you want me to call him? I don't know if he's even awake yet, but if you insist I will call him."
"Call him."
"Fine!" She went to the pay phones and called Isaac.
"Hello?" His voice sounded wide awake, which was a good thing. She didn't want to responsible for waking him up if he was sleeping. One thing he'd told her was of his inability to sleep lately, so she was afraid to call him in the morning.
"Hey you," Gracie said, a smile on her face. She found the idea of calling him this early in the morning stupid, but Bob had told her to. She wasn't sure if he'd be able to go out at all.
"Gracie? Aren't you supposed to be at school? What are you doing calling me?" If it had been anyone else, Gracie would have hung up the phone and walked away, but she just smiled and waited it out.
"Yeah, well the thing about that is actually quite funny�"
"You skipped, didn't you?"
"Yeah."
"Gracie�"
"You're not mad at me, are you?"
"No, I'm not mad at you." She let out a sigh of relief. "Gracie, do you remember what you were doing when we first met? You were in a library studying. Now you're sleeping through class and skipping school."
"Well I'm sorry! I don't like school, especially that school. They yell at me for everything. I can't be myself anymore. It's easier just to skip, honey. I get a whole lot more done this way."
"Where are you?"
"The mall." He laughed. "I was going to ask you to come and spend the day with me but if you think I should go back to school then I'll do that."
"No, you don't have to go back to school. I'll come to you. Actually, I look forward to it. I'll meet you in the food court in fifteen minutes."
"All right. See you."
"Bye." She hung up the phone and headed immediately to a department store. She had fifteen minutes to blow the limit on the stolen credit card (especially before the owner found out it was missing and discontinued it). She could probably use it after Isaac got there, but he might not let her pay for the things she wanted to buy.
Fifteen minutes later she was equipped with three bags from the department store. She didn't have any problems with the credit card; they didn't check the name or ask for anything from her.
"Honey!" Gracie cringed at her own squeal of delight, echoed by the walls and the lack of people there. It struck her as odd that he actually was allowed to show up, but she didn't really get the rules of home schooling or anything about Isaac's family.
"Gracie, you are something else," he said. She threw her arms around him and kissed him, proving it. "I'll let you have fun today, but you have to promise me you'll stay in school tomorrow."
"All right. I'll stay there tomorrow, but I've got loads of money to spend so let's go."
Gracie got home from the mall around the time the sun was setting. She made a few trips to get all of her bags up the stairs to her room. She'd maxed out every single credit card in that wallet. She had yet to check whose wallet it was, or what was in those bags she stole, but she'd figure it out when she unloaded her brand new things. Isaac didn't seem to care about how much money she spent, thinking she was like this often and she had the money to waste. The truth was she'd never seen so much money in her life.
While the family was well off, if her mother lost her job, they would be living on the streets. Her father made just enough to send the girls to school while her mother made the money to pay all the bills and anything extra that the girls wanted to do. Their father was a very smart man, he just didn't put it to use. The family was happy, but if anything happened to their mother, they'd lose it all.
Gracie piled the shopping bags on one side of her room and flopped down in her chair. She reached in the purse and pulled out the wallet that'd bought her all of these things. She'd set next to her chair the few shopping bags that she'd stolen from the car and would look through those once she found out the identity of this person. Whoever it was had a nice life, because she got a lot of good things out of those credit cards.
She took out the driver's license from the wallet. It was a man in his late twenties. He was pretty cute, but that wasn't the issue here. Thomas Fox. She sighed, finally realizing what she did.
"Bob I'm going to kill you."
"You left school, I couldn't make you a bitch to anyone because you invited Isaac along. Girl, you spent all day with the boy and didn't even make out with him once. I have to get you about that, but first, I only did what I did because I had nothing better to do. You got a lot of good stuff out of it, didn't you?"
"Yeah, but�"
"See! I did something good for you!"
"But Bob I stole a guy's wallet and used his money to buy me stuff I don't even need. I don't need the music and I sure as hell don't need any more clothes. Bob, it wasn't a good thing. They could track me down and I can get arrested."
"They won't track you down. I'll make sure of that."
"What can you do? You're a voice!"
"Gracie, listen to me. You'll be fine. What have I done to hurt you?" Gracie rolled her eyes. "Okay, I have hurt you. But I promise I won't do anything this time. I'm a bad influence but I can get you out of trouble."
"Stop it, Bob."
"No." She went into the bathroom, shutting the door and locking herself in. She eyed the drawer with her secret possessions. She sat there, staring at it. She didn't want anything to do with it, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from it. She didn't dare blink, for a moment in her head thinking that if she did everything would be different.
The lack of blinking caused her eyes to water and she felt tears streaming her face but she didn't dare move. The clock behind her ticked away the seconds, which eventually turned into minutes and hours and before she knew it, it was the next morning. She still didn't move when she heard her sisters pounding on the door to her bedroom.
"Gracie!! It's time to go!!" She didn't move. A few minutes later the pounding returned. "Gracie! We're late! Let's go!" When Gracie didn't respond, she heard the door open. "Gracie? Are you in here?" Gracie heard the knob on the bathroom door jiggle, and then a knock. "Gracie? You better be getting ready." It was Sarah, the same one who'd pounded on her door every morning. She was the one who was bright in the morning, she got both Ren� and Gracie up. But now Gracie refused to move. "Gracie?" Gracie heard the panic in her voice now. "Gracie, answer me."
Gracie debated silently whether or not to roll her eyes, but in the end, she just sat there staring at the drawer. The pounding on the door continued for a few more minutes, Sarah's incessant screams for her getting annoying. Gracie got annoyed, and without moving her eyes from the door, decided to scream back at her little sister. "Shut the fuck up, Sarah! I'm not going to school today."
"Fine. Don't scare me like that, okay? I can't get the door open and I thought you'd killed yourself." Gracie didn't respond. She heard Sarah walk out of the room and slam her bedroom door. It was a few minutes yet before Gracie got up and turned on the shower.
Steam rose in the bathroom, clouding up the mirrors until she couldn't see herself anymore. To her surprise, the phone in her room rang when she was about to step into the shower. She walked over and picked her up cordless phone and went back to the bathroom.
"Hello?"
"Good, Gracie, I was hoping I'd catch you before you went to school." It was Isaac. She bit her lip, trying to keep hidden the fact that she wasn't going to school.
"What's the matter?" she asked.
"I talked to your sister last night. Sarah, I think. She was worried about you. I just wanted to make sure you're okay."
"Isaac, I'm fine," she said, lightly laughing. "I'm perfectly fine! I didn't even see Sarah yesterday, there's nothing for her to be worried about."
"That's the problem, she caught you staring at a drawer in your bathroom. Gracie, what's wrong? I don't notice anything because she said you've been acting weird for about two weeks and I've only known you for two weeks. If you're acting different I can't tell because this is the only way I know you."
"Isaac, don't be so worried. There's nothing wrong with me. Sarah just must have caught me at a bad time. I was a little spaced out."
"No, you were just trying to resist the urge to use the drugs, smoke the cigarettes and invite your little boyfriend over for a night of wild sex," Bob said, lightly laughing in her head.
"Isaac, honey, hold a sec, okay?"
"Okay�" She put her hand over the phone and looked at herself through the fog on the mirror.
"Bob shut the fuck up. I'm on the phone with Isaac. You don't need to make smart remarks like that!"
"Aw, Gracie, come on. I'm just playing with you. You know you want to do all that."
"No, I don't want to do anything! I told you last night to leave me alone and then you went and freaked out my sister and Isaac! Go away!" Gracie screamed. She took a deep breath then put the phone back to her ear. "Sorry about that, sweetie."
"Who's Bob?"
"Oh, he's just a friend of mine that is completely getting on my nerves. He's doing a lot of things he shouldn't be doing and I think he's overstayed his welcome."
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine, honey. Don't worry about me. Now I have to take a shower before all the hot water runs out. See you later!"
"All right. Goodbye." He paused, noticing Gracie hadn't hung up the phone just yet. "Gracie?"
"Yes?"
"I'm falling in love with you." Her eyes grew. "I am, and no matter what you say, you're still worrying me. Sarah mentioned Bob to me." Gracie scowled but quickly tried to cover it up. It seemed to work. "And according to her, Bob isn't a real person. She thinks you might be on the phone with him but she's checked and you aren't. Who is he really?"
"Bob is no one. I have to go. Bye." She hung up the phone. She took a deep breath and sunk to the floor. She wasn't quite sure if Isaac would call back insisting on an answer, but she didn't take any chances. She threw the phone in the other room and stripped before hopping in the shower.
She remained there, soaking in the scalding water for a few minutes. If Isaac did call back, she wasn't able to hear the phone over the sounds of the shower and her own thoughts. She was mentally abusing herself, bashing herself, for nearly having an episode around Isaac.
"Ha!" Bob laughed at her.
"Shut up, Bob. You were the one who started it in the first place. I told you to go away. I'm sick of you. I want you gone! You're screwing everything up!" She felt tears welling in her eyes.
"What are you going to do now? Cry? Come on, Gracie, you're better than that. I'm doing this to make you tougher and you're going to cry!"
"No I'm not going to cry!" she screamed. "I'm better than you!! You're not real! I don't know how the hell you got here but you need to leave me alone! Goddammit, Bob, just give me my life back."
"You know, most people have this problem for years before they plead for their life back. You're really weak."
"What problem?" she asked, sniffing. "I don't have any problems."
"You have a voice in your head, Gracie. Of course you have problems. You spent the past twelve hours staring at a drawer. You're skipping class, smoking, trying out drugs and experimenting with all these new things you never wanted to try in the first place. Look at yourself, you cut yourself up."
"All because of you!" she screamed, her voice echoing in the bathroom and she put her hands over her ears.
"Well, I hate to break it to you, sister, but you're going to have me around for the rest of your life. However long or short that may be."
"It's going to be very short." She shut off the water and toweled herself off. She got dressed and went into her room. Quickly she closed all her drapes, leaving the room dark. She shut her door, not remembering to lock it, and she grabbed her cutter. "It's going to end right now."
"Good�"
She slashed both of her wrists repeatedly, screaming at herself. "Gracie you've got problems! Nothing's ever going to be the same again! You shut everyone out and now look at you! Look at you!!!" Bob's influence kicked in and she fell to her knees in front of her mirror, the cutter under her. Everything was suddenly different, she felt this episode coming on strong and knew it wasn't the same as any of the others.
She looked at herself, horrified. Her body wasn't hers; it was just that jumbled mess of a teenager that she called annoying. She could hear them outside her room, talking about her. She could hear them speaking about her, to her, from miles away. There were more of them now, not just Bob. There was thousands, taunting her and laughing at her�she could feel them pointing at her.
"Gracie, get your ass together!"
She flipped around, looking for the owner of the voice. She was the only one in the room and the voice was too prominent to be someone outside. There wasn't even anyone else home. She'd heard them leave for school.
"Gracie, suck it up!"
She whipped around again, confused. She couldn't see anyone anyway with the lack of light from the heavy black curtains that covered her windows. The voice was a deep male tone. She didn't know anyone with that tone of voice. It was so sure of itself; everyone else was so scared, belittled, by her.
"Stop fucking up, Gracie!"
Her eyes grew adjusted to the darkness, and she slowly saw her image appear in the mirror. But she remained, motionless, staring at her eyes. Something was so incredibly different, but she couldn't pinpoint it.
"They're gone, Gracie."
She didn't blink this time, only looked at herself through the mirror. Motionless she sat, not even grazing her eyes over her pale, thin body. All this time she remained staring at her eyes. The blood from her wrists continued down her hands and to the floor below. It flowed nearly freely from her skin. It had stopped hurting only a few minutes before, but then again she'd stopped paying attention to her pain.
"You've changed, Gracie," she whispered to herself, speaking slowly. Even her monotone voice seemed foreign from her body. "Different�" She continued to stare into her own eyes. A pool of her blood began to form by her knees, black and blue from falling onto them, time and time again, and staying there. Her eye twitched.
"Gracie!"
She recognized this voice. It was not one of those head ringer voices that came without body, no, this was a person. But she couldn't turn, she couldn't run out of the room and embrace who it was in her arms, trying to find a security to rid herself from the pain that she was bringing on herself. Someone who could see her wrists and realized she just tried to kill herself. She didn't care. All she cared was that her eyes were different�she was different�and she couldn't tell how. "You're different�" she whispered again to herself.
"Gracie!!"
The voice sounded almost desperate now. It'd know to look for her here, kneeling in front of the mirror and staring at herself while her blood formed one large, red puddle.
"You've fucked up, Gracie," the voice screamed in both her ears again. If she wasn't motionless, she would had cringed in pain from the ring that began to dominate all other sounds. It was from that voice; that voice without a body. Only that voice would swear like that. "You're fucked, Gracie! You're fucked!"
The door opened behind her. Isaac ran in. He saw her, but not the blood. He saw her, but not her secrets. He stopped in front of her, between her and the mirror. She didn't look up, or over, just right through him to her image in the mirror. She could still see her eyes staring back at her.
"Is there something wrong?" he asked, kneeling in front of her, trying for her to look at him. Slowly she shook her head no, continuing to look through him to the mirror. She couldn't see herself; she knew she couldn't see herself. But those eyes were still in her mind, still right behind him in the mirror. "Are you sure?" Slowly she nodded her head yes.
He didn't know how to act in these situations. He didn't know what he was doing. He just knew something was wrong with her. Something was going on in that mind of hers, but he couldn't figure out what.
"Fuck you, Gracie," the voice said sternly.
Tears of fear rolled down her face. She let them flow freely, as she lightly began to rock. Back and forth, back and forth. Then everything would be all right.
"Nothing will be all right." The voice knew her thoughts; it knew what she was doing at all times. It was like a god, controlling her life in ways she never thought possible. It told her what to do, like a conscience, but unlike a conscience, it didn't know the right from the wrong. "Nothing is ever going to be all right."
Scared, she ran out of the room. Isaac ran after her, calling her name. She ran through the house as fast as she could, swaying in and out of the different rooms before running into the front door. It left a welt and an imprint of the peephole on her forehead, but she ignored all pain and the dizziness that washed over her. She opened the door and ran outside, Isaac still after her.
"Where are running, Gracie?" the voice asked, then began laughing at her. Even thought it had no body, it was just a voice, she could feel it pointing at her and holding its stomach in hysterical laughter.
She ran down the street, ignoring anything that happened to be out there. Horns honked and cars swerved out of the way, trying not to hit her. She left a trail of blood as she went, making it easy for anyone to follow her.
The energy she had built up in her was fading fast. She didn't have much in the first place, and the fact tat she was coming up on a mile of running wasn't helping. She was never a runner. She didn't know how to breathe right. She was fast coming up on passing out, from lack of blood and sleep. "You're different," she yelled to herself. "Stop!" She fell over.