"So you had fun tonight? My family wasn't too bad?" Isaac asked. Gracie had pleaded for him to stay a little while longer when the family was leaving and they let him stay. She brought him upstairs and wasted no time to push him on the bed and begin to make out with him. He was talking, which annoyed her.
"Yes. Fine. Beautiful family. Love your mom," she said, her annoyance showing in her voice as she pressed her lips against his. Her hands began pulling at the bottom of his shirt, untucking it from his pants. His hand found hers and he pushed her away. "What now?"
"What is up with you tonight? You've been acting weird since before dinner and you weren't like this yesterday. Are you all right?"
"I'm fine, honey," she said, looking in his eyes. "I just want to be with you."
"I thought you wanted to wait," he said. "Actually you specifically told me you wanted to wait because you wanted to set an example for your sisters. I remember you telling me."
"Oh that was a month and a half ago, I was a different person then. I didn't know what I wanted because Bob was controlling me. No, I know what I want now and I want you." He gave her a look. "What?"
"Why do you really want to do this?"
"I don't know when I'm going to see you again. This is the only way I'll know you'll still love me the next time you're in town."
"Gracie, that's stupid. Of course I'll still love you. We don't need to have sex to prove that." He sat up. She inwardly groaned and pushed him back down on the bed.
"Okay, maybe we don't need to have sex to prove that, but I still want to have sex with you. I'm in the mood now and I don't know when I'll be in the mood again. This is your last shot, babe."
"Then I guess I'm out of luck." He got off the bed.
"Gracie, you're going to fuck him if you have to kill him and do him dead." Gracie quivered. Bob was back. He'd been speaking to her all night. At first she just shook him off and forgot he was there for a while, but when he realized she was ignoring him, he began screaming. She wasn't able to tune him out for very long because she couldn't hear anything else but his orders. Unlike herself, he didn't need to stop for breath and his voice didn't begin to get hoarse after screaming for a long period of time. Once the Hansons left, she began to listen to him and he stopped screaming. "You know, rigor mortis has its advantages."
"I thought you said I'd never have to hurt anyone else," she whispered quietly to him. Isaac didn't hear but knew she said something.
"What?" he asked.
"Nothing."
"No, you clearly said something. What did you say?" He took a step forward to her. "Were you even talking to me?"
"Of course I was talking to you! Who else would I be talking to?" She spoke nervously. Without Bob's help, she couldn't lie very well. "Bob, help me out here," she added under her breath.
"No, I find this amusing. You suck at lying. I want to see you get yourself out of this one." Gracie got off the bed and began to pace, running her hands through her hair and looking around the room. "No, this isn't obvious."
"Bob, shut up," she responded, for a moment forgetting Isaac was even in the room. As she turned around, he was standing right in front of her and she jumped back, surprised. "You're still here?!"
"Bob? You're talking to Bob? Gracie, have you been taking your medication?" She grew confused.
"Medication? For what? For Bob? I don't need any medication. Stupid doctors, think they can solve all my problems with a handful of pills every day. I'm not going to do that! I'm just fine. They think I'm crazy. They locked me up in a room for a month and a half and wouldn't let me leave. They tied me to a bed and refused to let me live a normal life. That's crazy. No, I'm not crazy. Try those people down at the mental hospital, the people that work there! They're crazy! Thinking they can tell me what the hell is wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with me."
"Gracie, you're not crazy. You just have an illness."
"My ass!!"
"Gracie, not everyone has voices inside of their head telling them what to do. Not everyone cuts themselves with box cutters and does everything they can to try to kill themselves. You're not like everyone else and you need help."
"Why? So I can be just like everyone else? I don't want to be like everyone else! I'm perfectly happy just the way I am!"
"Gracie you're going to end up dead this way and I don't know what I'd do without you. You have to get better for me, all right? You have to get better so we can be together without worrying about everybody else on this." She didn't respond. He took a step forward and laced his fingers with hers. "I'll help you out, Gracie. Trust me." She immediately took her hand away from his.
"No, I can't trust you. I can't trust you or my family or your family�the only person I can trust is Bob! He understands me and what I'm going through."
"He is the cause of what you're going through! There'd be nothing to go through if he wasn't there!"
"Oh, what do you know? You don't know what I'm going through. You've been gone for a month and a half while I was stuck in that hospital, being poked and prodded when they told me what was wrong but they still didn't let me go. I knew I had to get out of there and the only way to do that was to make them think I was better. So Bob and I, we made an agreement. He'd go away for a little while, until I got out of there, and then he'd come back and we'd make magic again. That medication they put me on, it never worked. I just had to put a smile on my face and act the way they wanted me to and after a while they let me go. You know Bob had me going for a little while there. I thought he wasn't going to come back. It had been three days and he still wasn't talking to me. But then right before dinner he started talking to me again. It's great. I'm me again. And you're not going to do anything to stop it!"
She ran out of the room and he couldn't do much to stop her. He ran after her, trying to catch up with her as she bounded down the stairs. "Gracie! Gracie, you've got to stop this. You need help."
"I don't need help!" she stopped at the front door and opened it. "Get out!"
"Gracie�"
"Get out!" She paused, not looking at him. He stepped up to her. "I mean it. Leave." He sighed and left. She closed the door behind him then ran upstairs and began to cry.
"So you didn't fuck him."
"Not now, Bob."
"No! You promised me you would get laid tonight. Well he's gone and you're still a virgin. What do I have to do to get through to you, Gracie? I don't know why the hell I'm still trying. I should just give up all hope on you ever becoming what you need to be. You can just go back to your goodie-goodie little life and forget I've devoted all my time and all my effort to get you in the world."
"No�Bob, I'm sorry."
"You're worthless, Gracie. You're absolutely worthless."
"Well what do you want me to do? I can't do everything I was doing before because I have people watching me now. They're looking for signs to put me away again. It's bad enough I told Isaac all of that."
"Yeah, whose fault was that? You didn't hear me screaming for you to stop? He's going to tell and they'll put you away again! They'll try to get you better by trying to get rid of me. Gracie, you've got to put yourself out of your misery. Do you want to be in and out of mental hospitals until you die an old maid with no one around because you're too fucking crazy to tolerate?"
"No."
"Then kill yourself now." Gracie sighed and thought of how she was going to do it. A knock came at the door.
"Shit," she muttered. "Who is it?"
"It's Sarah. It's time for your medication."
"Fine. I'll be down in a minute." Gracie walked over to the door and opened it. She hesitantly walked down the stairs, despite what Bob was telling her in her head. "Bob, if I don�t take the medication she'll be onto me. It doesn't work anyway, its just pills I'm randomly taking."
"Who are you talking to?" Sarah asked from the kitchen.
"You," Gracie spoke up. "I just asked what time it is."
"It's ten. You should go to sleep soon, you have to go to school tomorrow." Gracie walked into the kitchen. Sarah pushed a glass of water towards her and began to take her pills out of the bottles and handing them to her one by one.
"I don't want to go to school tomorrow," she said. Sarah handed her the last pill and she threw them in her mouth and swallowed all of them with a sip of her water.
"You have to go to school tomorrow. Mom already called and said you were coming in, they're expecting you. Drink the whole glass, Gracie."
"I know, I know�" Gracie finished off the glass, grumbling. "I'm just afraid to go back to school. I don't know what everyone's been thinking about me. I was gone for so long and people might be making stories up about me. I'm afraid of what everyone will think."
"Gracie, listen to me," Sarah said, sitting Gracie down in a chair. She sat next to her. "It doesn't matter what other people think, all right? All that matters is what you think of yourself. As long as you're happy you have no reason to be worried. I love you just the way you are and I don't care what's going on with you, I'm still going to be here when you're feeling down. Ren� will too, and as much as you think they won't, Mom and Dad will be there too. We're all in this together."
"Bull shit, she doesn't know what the hell you're going through," Bob muttered in the back of Gracie's mind. "She doesn't give a damn what you're going through. That's why she's so indifferent about giving you your medication. She doesn't care about how you feel from them. She doesn't care that you can't function with them. She's making you go to school. You're an outcast at school."
"I'm going to bed," Gracie said, forcing a smile on her face. She got up and made her way upstairs. Sarah followed.
"Gracie, are you and Isaac okay? I heard you two fighting earlier." Gracie paused, halfway up the stairs. She looked back down at Sarah.
"Did you hear what about?" She shook her head. "Good."
"You know you really shouldn't let him leave when you're mad at him. I'm not saying you're wrong because I don't know what the fight is about, but maybe tomorrow before school we could stop by at their house and you could talk to him. It's not good to let someone leave for so long after a fight, it's just one of those things. You don't know when you're going to see him again."
"No, it's more like you might not be around when he comes back," Bob said. Gracie ignored him.
"I'll think about it." She bounded up the stairs and ran into her room.
Gracie smoothed out her sister's short uniform skirt as she waited for someone to come to the door. Her biggest fear was waking up anybody, so that was why she knocked instead of ringing the doorbell. Ren� and Sarah were asleep in the car�they'd left about forty-five minutes earlier than usual so Gracie could have time to talk to Isaac.
Gracie looked up as the door opened. Diana appeared at the door with a light smile on her face. "Well look at you, Miss Catholic School Girl," she said, laughing. "What are you doing here so early?"
"Well, I sort of yelled at Isaac last night for no reason and I made him leave while I was still angry. I wanted to apologize before you guys left�I've always been taught that it isn't a good thing to let someone leave while you're still mad at them. By the time I get home from school you'll be gone already."
"All right, come in." Gracie stepped inside. "He's not awake yet, but that's not surprising. It's still early."
"I didn't wake you, did I?" Gracie asked, growing concerned.
"No, I have a three-year-old, I'm always awake this early. You can go in the boys' room, just be quiet cause if Taylor or Zac wake up to find you in there they might freak out. Ike's on the top bunk." Diana stopped at the stairs. "Second door on the left."
"Thank you. I won't be long, I do have to make it to school on time." Gracie quietly bounded up the stairs, smiling broadly. She knew Diana was cool and all, but she didn't expect her to be this cool�the woman was actually allowing Gracie to go into the boys' room by herself.
Gracie opened the door and peered inside. Sunlight was pouring through the window and on the opposite side of the room, the three boys were sleeping peacefully. Gracie giggled to herself; Ren� would kill to see Taylor like this. Gracie tiptoed across the room and hoisted herself onto Isaac's bed by the ladder. She sat on the edge of the bed and poked at Isaac. He stirred but didn't wake up.
"Isaac, honey, wake up�" She normally wouldn't have been this sweet in waking someone up, but she didn't want to disturb the two other boys in the room. "Ike!" She smacked him on the arm. He jumped and woke up, looking up at her.
"Gracie! What are you doing here?" he asked. "What time is it?"
"It's almost seven. I had to come by to apologize. What I tried to do last night and everything I said was completely out of line. I don't know what's wrong with me. I did start a different medication when they took me out of the hospital as an antidepressant, maybe I'm not used to what it's doing to me yet. And there's no way I'm letting you leave without a proper goodbye."
"Come here," he said, opening his arms. She laid down next to him and he wrapped his arms around her. She felt safe as she closed her eyes and laid her head on his chest. "I still think you should see you doctor." Her eyes flew open and she sat up.
"Oh no you don't. Do not even think about starting that up again. I'm fine. I don�t need to go back there. Do you know what they're going to do to me if I go back there? They're going to lock me up in that room again. No, I can't be locked up in that room again�no�"
"Gracie, did you take your medication this morning?"
"Yes I took my medication this morning! It doesn't mean it works, but I still took it." She laughed, looking across the room and out the window. "It's funny how acting 'normal' for a little while can fool a whole team of expert doctors enough to let you go home untreated. I swear, I pulled it off without a hitch."
"Then you need to start a different medication. One that works."
"You're one of them, aren't you?" she asked, looking back at him. "You're trying to get me to go back to that Godforsaken place, aren't you?"
"I just think you should do what's best for your situation."
"My situation?" she asked. "I don't have a situation! I cannot believe you're on their side!" She nearly jumped off the bed to get away from him. "How could you be on their side? I thought you were supposed to support me here."
"Whose side are you talking about?" he asked. He got off the bed and began to walk towards her. She backed away with every step he took towards her.
"Everyone! Everyone who's against me! Mom, Dad, Sarah, Ren�everyone. They all want to lock me away and never see me again."
"Gracie, I don't want to lock you away and never see you again. I just want to see you get better."
"There's nothing wrong with me!"
"Yes there is!"
"You know I can't believe I came over here to apologize to you. I'm not sorry for what I did yesterday. You're just like the rest of them and I don't want anything to do with you if you think I have a problem. I'm fine. I've always been fine, I'll always be fine. So I had issues for two weeks. Everyone gets depressed sometimes. That was just my low point. That's it!"
"No, Gracie, there's more than that�"
"I'm leaving. Have a nice trip, I hope your plane crashes," she spat at him, then left the room and ran down the stairs. She found the front door and stormed out, luckily not meeting up with Diana again. She got into the car behind the wheel and slammed the door shut, waking her two snoozing sisters in the back seat. "Brilliant idea, Sarah."
"I'm guessing it didn't go well," Sarah replied, wiping her eyes.
"You're fucking right it didn't go well! I've never been so angry in my entire life. Remind me never to listen to you again." She started up the car and pulled out onto the road.
"Well what happened? What'd you fight about?" Ren� asked. Sarah didn't want to say anything, she felt like she was going to be yelled at again.
"Does it concern you? No! What the fight was about is between me and Isaac and no one else," she said. "Man, sometimes I wish you two would just shut up and mind your own fucking business."
"Well it's our business when our sister is becoming defiant and is acting very much like she did before she went into the hospital."
"I'm fine, Ren�. Don't worry about me. I'm on my medication, I haven't been trying to kill myself, Bob is gone�"
"Well, the Gracie who's fully recovered wouldn't swear at us like that," Ren� piped. Sarah still wouldn't say anything. She'd never gotten over how Gracie used to treat her, and now it'd only been a few days and Gracie was beginning to do it again.
Gracie slammed on the brakes and the car came to a screeching halt. The car behind them had to do the same in order to prevent an accident. "What do you mean by that?" she asked.
"Gracie, if you're going to stop, at least pull over to the side of the road," Ren� said. Horns blared from behind her but she didn't move.
"You think I'm not better? I spent a month and a half locked in a room; of course I'm better! I wouldn't go back there if you made me. You don't seem to understand what I went through when I was in there."
"Gracie, it's all right if you don't feel 100% better. If you medication isn't helping, we'll put you on something else. We'll do whatever we can so we won't have to put you back there. Listen," Ren� said, drawing closer to her older sister, "I know you had a horrible time in there. I'm going to do whatever I can to keep you out of there."
"Isaac wants me to go back there."
"No he doesn't. He just wants to get you help and he doesn't know how to act on it." Gracie sighed, tears springing to her eyes. "How about you come back here and we let Sarah drive to school. The people behind us are getting pretty mad." Gracie nodded, the tears slipping out of her eyes. She opened the door and got out, the horns louder now that she was out of the car. Sarah got out too and got behind the wheel, Gracie taking a seat in the back next to Ren�. She closed her door and Sarah pulled away.
Gracie cried into her hands the entire way to school, Ren� trying to make her feel better. Gracie told her all about the fight with Isaac, the one the night before and the one that morning, but left out the details about how she fooled the doctors and that Bob was back.
"Gracie, Gracie calm down," Ren� said. "We're at school. You want to make it through a day of school, don't you?" Gracie nodded. "Well dry your eyes and put a smile on your face. If you want, either me or Sarah can stay with you all day so you're not alone. I know it's going to be hard if everyone keeps asking you why you were gone. Would you like that?" Gracie nodded. "Okay, I'll stay with you."
"Okay�"
"And everything will be just fine. Taylor said he'd call me, so when he calls me I'll ask for you to talk to Isaac. He's just worried about you. I'm worried about you too but you're going to show me there's nothing to be worried about, right?" Gracie nodded again. "Great. Come on, we don't want to be late for class." Gracie dried her eyes and got out of the car, her hand tightly gripping Ren�'s.