The Louisville concert was louder and larger than any of the others I had been to. Zac was grinning mischievously all night, constantly keeping me on my toes. I didn�t now if he was still planning on playing a trick on me. I was hoping he wouldn�t; this crowd was much larger.
�Showtime boys.�
Luckily, Zac went out on stage without me. When the show started, the girl from the Atlanta concert, Vanessa, pulled me from the stage. �I haven�t seen you take a hit all the time I�ve been with you.� Her southern accent was thick, but she didn�t use the southern dialect. I looked at the joint in her hands, which was just inviting me to smoke it. I bit my lip.
�I don�t do that.�
�I don�t do anything.� I saw the look that crossed her face. �Anymore. I�m trying to quit.�
�Why? This is the height of the tour!�
�No, I don�t want to.�
�Come on! It�s pot, it�s not going to do anything to you.�
�No, I said I didn�t want to.� I turned to walk away.
�What�s with you? Everyone does it!�
�Where�s Nic?� I heard Zac�s voice said in his microphone.
�Listen, I have to go. He�ll put me out on the stage again if I�m not out there quick.�
�I think we have to do something to her,� Zac�s loud voice said. I ran back to the stage and waved at him. �There you are! Where�d you go?�
�I had a problem backstage,� I yelled at him, so he could hear me.
�What�s that you said? You want to come out on stage?� I shook my head, my eyes widening in fear of all those people out there.
�No! Don�t make me go out there again! I don�t want to!�
�You want to come out here and say hi? Is that what you said?� I shook my head again as he walked towards me from center stage.
�No!�
�I think that�s what you said.� He walked up to me, pulling his microphone away from his mouth. �What happened?� he said, and started pulling me on the stage.
�Vanessa was wanting me to smoke pot with her.�
�Did you?�
�No! I warded her off until you called for me.� I looked to my left. All those people, thousands upon thousands of eyes were looking straight at me. �Oh God.�
�Everyone, this is Nic. She hasn�t been very good lately. The last concert she wasn�t dancing and had to pay for it by sitting in the middle of the stage. And now she missed half of the first song. What should we do?�
�Nothing,� I said, after grabbing the microphone from Zac�s hands.
�Zac, we really don�t have time for this,� Isaac said.
�Of course we do! No one has anything else to do, right?� Zac asked, turning to the audience. I cringed at the sudden volume of thousand of screaming girls. �So, what can we do? We already made you sit on the stage�so that�s not good.�
�Make her strip!� a sudden deep voice yelled. My mouth dropped.
�Who said that?�
�We can�t do that!� Zac said. �This is a G rated show.�
�Oh you�re real G rated,� I said. Zac gave me a look.
�I think we should hang her by her hair from the roof,� Zac said, after thinking about it.
�What?� I yelled, away from the microphone. Zac smiled.
Ten minutes later I found myself hanging from a wire by my hair. Zac had made sure I had a few more wires to keep my hair from ripping out of my head. I still had my microphone with me, but I was instructed to not use it unless I was spoken to.
�How you doing up there, Nic?� Zac asked, looking up at me. I looked down. He was standing a bit in front of me, about ten feet down.
�I�m going to hurt you.�
�Then we better keep you up there until I can get to safety.�
�I don�t like it up here, Zac.� It was true, I was deathly afraid of heights, and the only thing that kept me from plunging down sixteen feet was three thin wires. Zac waved at me, then disappeared from sight. I don�t want to move, even though I could, because I was too afraid of falling.
When the concert began, I crossed my arms and waited to be let down. It was going to be a long while until I could, though. I had the perfect view of the audience. Once they all realized what the boys were singing, they joined in and everyone forgot about me. It was better than sitting still on the stage. I didn�t have everyone�s eyes on me, and the boys got more attention.
I looked over the fans, clad in Hanson gear, holding signs and either screaming or singing along. I�m sure their view of the boys was what I had thought before I met them. I was sure that all the fans thought they were still the wholesome, family-oriented spiritual beings they started out as. If they could only realize that not everyone could be a good role model for very long.
They were so na�ve. Everyone. The interviewer could have died when she heard the things Zac had to say. Her eyes had been the size of sand dollars when Zac swore.
Then again, I was just as na�ve a few days ago. I could have cared less about Hanson, I would have thought them to be as perfect as ever. But I was so wrong. Each has their problems, each has their dark sides. Zac was probably the worst off. He was the youngest. Isaac and Taylor both plotted against him, ganged up on him. Zac never sided with one against the other. They were always again Zac. But he was the smartest. He gave the most honest answers; always stood firm on what he said. He had a brighter perspective; more perceptive of the things around him. He knew he was taking his years off his life with the drugs, and wanted to quit. And he had the willpower to do that.
�How you doing up there?� Zac asked. I looked down and immediately regretted it. Oh my God that�s far, I thought.
�Can I get down now?�
�Promise you�ll behave?�
�It wasn�t my fault!� I said. He grinned.
�Do you really want to get down? Cause the way you�re talking to me, it seems like you�re having fun up there.�
�Yes, I want to get down. Is that alright, supreme overlord of the universe?�
�That�s what I like to hear! Alright. Get her down.� I was lowered to the ground, and in the same fashion I was put up, I was taken down and off the hooks. Zac smiled at me. �See you after the show. Everyone give it up for Nic, she�s been a good sport. She hasn�t decked me yet.�
I got applauded and cheered for by the audience. Before Zac could make them cheer louder, I stepped on his foot and walked offstage.
�Bitch,� I heard Amber mutter.
�Me?� I asked, turning to her. �Now what have I done to become a bitch? I had no choice to go on stage; he pulled me out there.�
�He treats you like a queen, and he doesn�t even look at any of us anymore.�
�I�m not him. Call him the bitch, alright? All I did was be put in this situation. I had no control over him wanting me to stay.� �You�re getting him off drugs. He doesn�t want to have any fun anymore!�
�It�s better that he doesn�t do drugs. He�ll live longer.�
�She�s right, you know,� Darling said, backing me up. I admit I wasn�t being the best friend to her, or anyone. I spent all my time with Zac.
�Why are you taking her side?� Amber asked, flipping her dark curly hair behind her. �You do the most out of any of us. Your tracks are the most prominent.�
�Ooh, big words now, Amber. That�s a big step up from �Hand me that thing with the thing on the end of the thing that you use to dig.� You mean a spoon, Amber?�
�Come on, I was high.�
�You�re always high! That�s the point. Don�t even think about point out my tracks. I�m not the one who used a million dollars worth of heroin in the past day and a half!�
�Taylor used half of it.�
�Oh bull shit! I�m surprised your heart hasn�t stopped yet!� I took a step out of the conversation. I knew Darling, and when she got like this, she got violent.
�You were the one who got it for me,� Amber yelled.
�I didn�t expect you to use it all! Stop blaming me for something you did. How can you still be walking? That�s enough to overdose on.� Amber obviously couldn�t take being accused of being an addict again, so she swung out and punched Darling in the jaw. Darling swung back, hitting Amber in the side of the head and sending her to the ground. She didn�t think anything of it, she just walked away. Looking down at the ground, I sighed and turned back to the concert.
�What the hell happened here?� Taylor screamed at all of us girls, seeing Amber still out on the couch.
�She passed out,� Darling said. �I thought you were going to look out for her, Taylor.�
�I was out there earning the money that allows all of you to stay with us. If she passed out, she wouldn�t have a bruise on the side of her face, now would she?�
�She hit the amplifier on the way down,� Darling reassured him.
�She could have a concussion!�
�She doesn�t have a concussion, Taylor,� Darling said, waving it off like it was nothing. She was a good liar.
�Why didn�t you take her to the hospital?� Taylor yelled.
�They�d find the heroin in her and eventually would find out it was you who bought it for her.�
�I don�t care!�
�She�s a bitch anyway. Why don�t we just leave her here?� Zac joked.
�We can�t do that, Zachary.�
�It was a joke.�
�Oh.� Taylor thought about it. �But still, don�t do that. We all know you hate her. Don�t think everyone else does too.�
The room grew silent.
�What? Do I have something on my face?�
�No,� Zac said. �You just have nothing between your ears.�
�What�s that supposed to mean?�
�It means you�re an airhead, dipshit.�
�Zac, don�t start,� Isaac warned.
�This doesn�t involve you,� Zac said.
�It doesn�t involve you either. You need to be quiet.�
�Why don�t I just leave?� Zac said.
�Good,� Taylor muttered.
�How about I leave, do you all a favor, considering none of you even like me. How about I leave and never come back?�
�You can�t do that.�
�Why not? I heard you and Ike saying you�ve been wanting to kick me out of the band. Why don�t I just do you a favor and leave? It�ll save you breath.�
�You�re too important to the band.�
�Since when? You don�t treat me like it. You treat me like I can be replaced in a heartbeat, so I have to stand here and take your shit.�
�We can�t replace you.�
�Well think about it. I can leave whenever I want to. So start treating me like a human being for once.� Zac sighed, upset. �I�m going back to the hotel. Nic, you coming with?�
�Yeah.� I got up and walked over to him.
�You see how much they like me if I threaten to take their music career away?� he told me, his voice low so they wouldn�t hear. I felt his arm wrap around my waist, pulling my flannel away so he could rest his hand on my bare skin.
�Yeah, but you really shouldn�t have threatened them like that.�
�No, I shouldn�t have,� he said, looking down at the ground. �But it�s the only way they�ll listen. I guess I should apologize.�
�Well don�t if you don�t mean it.�
�I really don�t. But I�d never leave them. They could torment me all they want to, they could hate my guys, but they�re still my brothers and I�d never take their music away from them. They love it too much. I love it too much.�
�That�s why you put up with it.�
�Yeah, that�s why I put up with it. Because I wouldn�t give this up for the world.�
�You�re so deep.�
�No I�m not. I just say what�s on my mind.�
�Then you have deep thoughts. Zac, I could only wish I could express myself the way you do.�
�It�s not that hard. You just have to say what you feel and mean it. Find a way to express it in words, and just talk to whoever listens.� He looked over at me. �You�re good at listening. I�ve always needed someone like you. I�ve always needed someone who can just listen.� With a smile on his face, he kissed my neck before we contined to walk.
�I try.�
�I�m grateful.�
�Oh, by the way,� I said, �You need to take a long walk off a high cliff.�
�Why?�
�You hung me by my hair from the ceiling! Not only was that embarrassing, I�m afraid of heights and one of those wires could have snapped!�
�Oh yeah, I forgot about all that. I�m sorry, Nic.�
�No you�re not.� �You�re right. I�m not.�
�So where we going? Back to the hotel?� I asked.
�Yeah. We can stop somewhere else first.� We walked over to Jeff�s car. He was back at the hotel, leaving us the car. Zac held open the door for me, once again surprising me.
�I never did think you would do something like this. You�re not one to look like a gentlemen.�
�Get in the car of I�ll shut the door on you.�
�That blows your cover.�
�Of course it does. I can�t have you thinking I�m too nice, now can I?� he asked.
�You�re so sweet, Zakky.�
�Don�t call me Zakky. Get all the way in the car.� I groaned and got in the car. He closed the door and went around to get behind the wheel. �Jeff is so stupid. He can�t even fill the gas tank when he needs it.� Zac looked over the gas gauge, already past E. �I don�t even think there�s enough in here to get to the gas station!�
�We�ll see,� I said. �There�s one about a mile north of here.�
�We might have to walk.�
�I hope not.�
�Remind me to shoot him when we get back to the hotel. This is my money that I earned, that I could be spending on you.�
�Just shut up and drive the car,� I said, smirking. �Zakky.�
�Don�t call me Zakky!�