Zac and I stood in front of the tour bus the next morning, waiting for the rest of the people to get to get there. We were the first ones there, which Zac said was unusual. He said he was usually the one everyone else was waiting for. He hadn�t said much that morning, though. Aside from the mention that we were the first ones in front of the bus, the only words to come from his mouth were complaints of a headache. I�d joked that I had some Midol to give him, but he just gave me a look and sat down.
Now mostly everyone was there, we were just waiting on Taylor and Amber. "Can�t we just leave them here?" Zac muttered, one again rubbing his head. I stood behind him and began to scratch his back, which seemed to comfort him.
"You know we can�t do that," Isaac sternly told him.
"Oh fuck you."
"What�s your problem?" Isaac asked.
"You."
I leaned over, my lips to his ear. "Zac, why don�t we go on the bus?" I quietly asked. "I think I saw Taylor and Amber walk out of the hotel." Zac looked up at me. "Come on."
He got up and followed me onto the bus. He pushed me to the back, then sprawled out on the couch back there. "What�s wrong, honey?" I asked, kneeling in front of him. He peered at me through one eye. I offered him a small smile.
"Did you just call me honey?"
"Well, yeah," I said. I didn�t think anything of it; there was a period of my life when I called everyone I met honey. "Does it really matter? Cause if it does maybe I shouldn�t�"
"No! I just wasn�t expecting it. Sorry."
"So, what�s wrong?" "I�m just grumpy. I don�t feel good today." I ran my nails through his hair, scratching his head. He smiled, looking in my eyes. "But you�re making me feel much better."
"I don�t mind you being grumpy. As long as you take it out on me."
"You�re ugly and your mother dresses you funny!" he said at me, laughing.
"That would be an insult if you weren�t laughing." He gave me a wide grin, making me laugh myself. "Do you get migraines or is this just a pulsating headache?" I asked.
"It could very well be migraines. I know Isaac can get some pretty bad ones. I just never thought of myself getting them. I do get headaches often. It�s another reason to be pissed off at the world."
"It could also be the drugs."
"True."
"Darling used to get them all the time when she was addicted to pain killers," I said.
"She was addicted to pain killers?"
"Yeah, for a really long time. She knew she was, she just didn�t do anything about it for a while. It took me a good two years of convincing for her to get help."
"I really need to stop taking drugs," Zac said.
"Yes you do."
"Have you ever done anything? At all?" I shook my head. "Don�t. It�s fun when you�re on a high and up there, but it�s hell and back when you�re back on the ground and you don�t have the shit to get up again."
Darling walked to the area of the bus that we were sitting and sat across from us, groaning. "Men suck."
"Are you still having problems with Isaac?" I asked. I turned to her, but still rubbed Zac�s aching head.
"They only heightened last night. I try to fix things but he keeps going all high and mighty on me. It�s like he can do no wrong and I�m the worst person in the world, who can�t do anything right."
"Welcome to my world," Zac muttered. Darling didn�t hear it.
"I don�t understand why he�s being this way. Someone must have tampered his acid or something. Or maybe he�s just not doing the acid. Whatever it is, I�m not liking it." She took a breath. "So, how are you to doing?"
"Zac�s grumpy," I said.
"No I�m not."
"You just told me you were grumpy."
"Oh, well, we don�t have to tell everyone that."
"Don�t worry, Zac, I could tell already," Darling said. "Now, besides him being grumpy, how are you two doing?"
"We�re just fine," I said. "I�m still plotting revenge, but we�re just fine."
"So you didn�t take the pictures?" Zac asked.
"No, I�m not that mean. The worst I�ll do is tie your shoelaces to a chair, or together and throw them up over a power line. I don�t tend to go for the mass embarrassment that you do."
"Good," Zac said.
"Unless you do that again. Then I�ll do something worse in front of a larger group of people."
"Like put up a photo of what you look like in the morning on the big screen of your next show?" Darling asked.
"That�s actually a good idea," I said. "But Zac doesn�t look that bad in the morning."
"I�ve done that before, but not with this band." Darling�s face lit up. "Oh that would be perfect with Isaac! I even have the picture of him!" She got up and scrambled out of the room.
"Oh, no," Zac said. "We�re going to be in for some surprises tomorrow."
"No concert tonight?" I asked. Zac shook his head.
"They're usually every two days, so we have enough time to prepare and all, you just came by when we had two in a row."
"So what do you do on your day off?"
"Sleep." I smiled, knowing he'd most likely do just that. "But since you're around, I guess I should take you out."
"You don't have to do anything for me."
"But we can't just get to the hotel and stay there! It'll be four o'clock when we get there, we can't just sit around and stare at each other until we fall asleep. We have to do something, Nic."
"I like sitting and staring at you."
"You really need a life then."
"Where are we going to go, Zac? I don't even know what city we're going to, an you want me to go out."
"We're going to Louisville."
"Kentucky? What the hell is there to do in Kentucky? We might as well sit at the hotel and stare at each other."
"There's plenty to do in Kentucky! Actually, whenever we go through Kentucky something happens. We once lost Taylor, we kicked Amber off the bus and didn't pick her back up for an hour, Ike nearly killed me�plenty of fun stuff."
"Alright," I said, awkwardly smiling. "Whatever you say, honey."
"And I'm sure we can find something to do." I looked at my watch. Eight hours on the bus. I could hardly wait for the fun to begin. Oh, wait, it already did.
Isaac poked his head in the room, looking around. He looked down at me, but ignored Zac. "Have you seen Darling?"
"The bus isn't that big, I'm sure she's here somewhere."
"Alright." He left. I looked at Zac, who groaned.
"Didn't even look at me."
Isaac walked back in, this time looking at Zac. "Zac, you really shouldn't put your feet up on those seats."
"Maybe if you got your head out of your ass you'd realize that I don't give a shit."
"Just put your feet down." Zac glared at him, and took his feet off the seat. He didn't put them on the floor; he put them on the table. "Zac, please." "Go away!" Isaac walked away. "Do you see what I mean? He doesn't talk to me unless he's correcting me in some way."
"Yeah, I see it. But you could be a little nicer about it." He snorted. "Or not."
"I'm just sick of it."
"I'm sure you are." I offered him a smile. "So, are you going to sit there and do nothing for the remainder of the ride?"
"Don't tell me you're already bored."
"Not really, but I will be."
"We have your typical selection of road trip items," Zac said, getting up. He opened a cabinet. "Movies upon movies for your viewing pleasure. We usually have a fight over what movie we're going to watch, and end up watching nothing. The television has 200 channels of satellite, but that is usually the same story. Over here�" he walked to another cabinet and opened it. "We have a variety of the latest magazines and books for you to read. And of course, the oh-so-fun road trip games of license plate and road kill bingo. And we can always sleep the whole ride."
"Sounds like fun."
"It's funny what you can come up with when you tour for so many months. Wait a few weeks, you'll try anything to pass the time."
"I don't know how you could do this year after year."
"It's my job. It's not only my job. It's my life. I love playing music, so much that I'll suffer all the consequences. The music's the only reason I'm still putting up with everything."
"What are you doing after the tour's over?"
"Taking a break. A much-needed break, away from my brothers. I'm going to try and get as far away from them as possible. I might be staying with Jeff for a little while, Louie wants me to stay with him for a week or two." I smiled. "It might be considerably longer than that if things go my way."
"I hope they do."
Isaac came back in, cutting Zac off as he opened his mouth to speak. And he didn't even think anything of it. "Are you sure Darling's on the bus?"
"Go away, Ike! I'm trying to have a conversation here, and I can't go by doing that with you constantly interrupting. No, I don't know where Darling is, nor do I care. I don�t keep track of her. She's your damn girlfriend. You keep track of her!" Zac said.
"Does it even look like I was talking to you?"
"I don't care if you were talking to me. You're interrupting my conversation with Nicole. Darling might be asleep in one of the bunks. Check them. If she's not, then she's probably on the other bus with the girls because she's mad at you! And don't think she isn't, because she is."
"You really shouldn't�"
"Don't tell me what I should and should not do, Isaac. You are not my father, as much as you think you are. Stop correcting my every move because I'm not up to your standards. You fucking annoy the living hell out of me every day. Leave me alone, I don't want to talk to you or even see your face unless it is absolutely necessary!"
"Zac�"
"Shut up and go away!" Zac screamed. Isaac, startled by Zac's outburst, walked away. Zac looked at me and let a smile cross his face. "That felt really good."
"Please! Let's do something. I do not want to stay cooped up inside for no reason when we could be doing something else. It's a beautiful day out; let's find a park, a carnival, a gas station for all I care! Just let me get out of here," Zac begged me, coming close to groveling on his knees at my feet.
"I don't know, it is beautiful out and all�"
"Then it's settled! Let's go!"
"I'm still indecisive about this."
"Why? I know you don't want to be in here either, we passed a really nice park on the way here. Let's get out of here."
"A park?" I asked.
"What is so wrong? Do you not want to be seen with me out in the open? Come on, Nic, I have to get out of here. I've got way too much energy to just sit around like a bump on a log all day long."
"I don't know�" His big caramel eyes pleaded with me silently, his intense stare winning me over. "Alright."
"Thank you!" He grabbed my hand and we ran out of the room. Before leaving the hotel, we stopped in Jeff's room to get the keys to his car. We left shortly afterwards. We had about two hours of sunlight left before it got too cold when the sun would go down. Zac drove rather quickly to the park he'd seen.
"You're just full of energy, now aren't you?" I asked, as he ran ahead of me. "Zac! Where are you going?" I started running after him, the ball of energy that had been pent up for God knows how long finally pouring out.
"We're going to the swings," he said, turning around so he was facing me and running backwards. "Do you know how long it's been since I've been in a park? I feel like such a little kid."
He ran over to the swings and jumped on one, immediately beginning to swing back and forth. I sat on one swing next to him. "I bet I can swing higher than you," I challenged.
"I bet a kiss you can't." He stopped and shook my hand. Laughing, we both began to swing back and forth, like little kids. I looked over at him. He was smiling a big smile, unable to control the peace and happiness that washed over him in a simple act of swinging.
"Come on, can't you go any higher than that?"
"I'm just not trying, that's all." After a few more swings, the wind tousling his hair, he jumped off the swing and landed on his feet in front of me.
"Alright, you win." I slowed and stopped, after all these years, still afraid to jump off. I came to a full stop, and looked up at him, not yet wanting to get of the swing.
"I knew I would."
"Yeah, yeah. I just didn't want to do it anymore so I stopped. I let you win."
"Come here," I said, beckoning him with my pointer finger.
"Why? What are you going to do to me?"
"Just come over here, dork!" He walked over. I pulled him down to my level and kissed him. "I'm still better than you."
"No you're not." He stood up and began to twist the chains of my swing, causing me to spin slowly. Then he let go, and I spun quickly in the other direction. He did it again.
"If I throw up because of you, I'll make sure to do it in your general direction." He let go of my chains and I spun around. "Want to go for a walk?" he asked. "This place is mighty pretty." I grinned.
"Sure." I stood up. I was still dizzy from the spinning. "Whoa�" I fell over into his arms.
"Let's put you back on the swing first," he said, sitting me down on the swing. "You're still dizzy."
"Yup. Spinning does that to you." I waited until everything around me stopped nimbly dancing, then stood up. "Alright, let's go."
"Dizziness is the natural high," Zac told me.
"Happiness is the natural high, Zac. Are you happy?"
"With you, yes." He grew uncomfortable about his honest answer. "Let's go now." We walked to the sidewalk and headed towards the tiny ponds, every once in a while dodging a runner or a skater. I was waiting for him to get recognized. This concert was the only one they sold out, and sold out quickly. The Kentucky fan base was prominent, for whatever reason. The fans knew the boys were in town, and very well might be on the lookout for one. Here we were, in broad daylight. Zac wasn't doing a thing to hide himself, he actually looked like he was calling for attention. He might as well stick a large blinking sign that said "I am Zachary Hanson" with an arrow pointing down at him.
"Can I ask you something?"
"No, you can't," he said, turning to me. I stopped, surprised. "I'm kidding. Go ahead."
"Why were you so insistent to come here?"
"I told you, I had to get outdoors. We spent eight hours on the bus just to go in the hotel room and do the same thing."
"You know that's now why. Tell me why you really wanted to get out of there." He began to fidget.
"I guess I just wanted some time with you, where we wouldn't be bothered all the time." He sheepishly looked up at me, twisting his foot on the cement beneath us.
"You're fidgeting! You're actually embarrassed by this! You are so cute!"
"You think so?" he asked.
"Well, yeah." I shyly turned away, facing a tiny pond. "Oh my God those are ducks!" I nearly yelled. "And there's a bench there! That is a duck-watching pond!" I thought about running over, but the movement would probably scare the ducks away. "Zac, we absolutely have to go over there." I walked over, dragging a less-than-enthused Zac along with me. I sat down on the bench, watching ducks wade around in the water. "I've never seen this before."
"Obviously, because you dragged me over here. There are plenty of other things to do here. But we have to sit and watch ducks swim like old people!"
"Shush, I'm watching the ducks."
"Nic, we can watch ducks anytime." I gave him a look. "Fine. We'll sit here and watch ducks, not even being able to feed them, because we're losers!" One of the ducks flew away, but the rest stayed behind.
"Dammit, Zac, you scared one away." I looked back towards the pond, and saw a group of girlfriends sitting on a blanket blowing bubbles. "They have bubbles! I want bubbles!"
"I'll just got ask them where they got them."
"They probably brought them from home, Zac."
"Maybe. But there's still no hurt in asking." Before I could protest, Zac got up and walked over to the group of girls. One nearly screamed, putting her hands over her mouth when she realized who he was. They didn't talk long. Zac eventually did get the bubbles from them, in return for signing a few autographs for them.
He walked back over to me with a smile on his face. "Well, it seems they had more than enough bubbles so they were more than happy to share."
"I'm sure it was because they were just being nice, not because they happen to know who you are or anything."
"Of course," he said, and sat down next to me. He gave me the tube of bubbles, then put his arm around my shoulders and looked at the pond.
I began to blow the bubbles, watching as they drifted through the air, only to pop when the wind kicked up. I giggled. "I feel like a hippie on LSD."
"That stuff is fun," Zac said, lightly laughing.
"You've done it?" I asked, turning him and blowing bubbles at him.
"Nic, I've done everything. You name it, I've done it." I gave him a weary look. "But I have no reason to do it anymore."
"You're going to stop for me?"
"For you? Most definitely," he said, then looked away again. I have to admit it was cute, but I wanted to see his face after he admitted something about his feelings for me.
"Zac, look at me." He looked back at me, his cheeks slightly flushed by embarrassment. "Oh, you are so cute."
"You've mentioned it."
"But, hun, there's nothing wrong with saying how you feel."
"It's just�I've never felt this way before," he admitted, looking into my eyes. He immediately won me over, I could always find myself lost in those eyes. I looked back at my bubbles, then blew some into the air again.
"Nice ducks, huh?" I asked, a bit nervous. He just told me he'd never felt this way. It scared me a bit. I didn't know him. Maybe I didn't need to.
"Yeah, nice ducks."
"You want to go back to the swings?" I asked.
"Race you there." I giggled.
"Alright." I shot up and ran down the sidewalk, Zac right after me.
"Cheater! You got a head start!" I ran over to the swings and sat down on one.
"I win!"
"You cheated."
"Well you never said cheating was a disqualification. So technically, I still won."
"No, technically I won." I blew more bubbles in his face. "Those girls would be pissed if they found out you got bubbles for me."
"Just you?"
"Any girl. Probably go around telling people I'm your girlfriend."
"Is there anything wrong with that?" he asked, taking my bubbles and blowing a few in the air.
"Well I'm not your girlfriend."
"Why not?"
"The last time I checked, you never asked me." This was really freaking me out. I didn't know why, either. Maybe it was just the face that I didn't know him. At all.
"Are you going to make me ask you?" he asked. I took my bubbles back.
"Yes. And I want a traditional form."
"Oh God�"
"No! You're going to have to do it very traditionally. Asking me out is one thing, but you're asking me to be your girlfriend. That is traditional."
"You're doing this to spite me, aren't you?"
"Oh yeah."
"Fine. Willyoubemygirlfriend?" he muttered.
"Oh, that's not good enough!" I said.
"Oh my God! You are so lucky I actually want to do this!
"If you say you do, you'll do it right," I joked. This was fun.
"Alright, alright." He took a deep breath then bent over in front of me, looking straight in my eyes. "Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked, softly and slowly.
"No."
"What?!" I laughed.
"I'm just playing." He gave me a look. "Yes, I will."
"I'm really going to embarrass you tomorrow at the concert."
"Not if I get you first."
"What could you do to me?" he asked, not straying from his position looking in my eyes.
"Plenty." He raised an eyebrow. "Just wait." He stood behind me and grabbed the chains to my swing.
"I'll push you."
"Alright." He began to push me on the swing, like two little kids would do. I still blew my bubbles. They drifted out into the cool wind, watching the two of us having the best time of our lives, forgetting about everything we'd have to face tomorrow. Zac laughed, kept that smile on his face, and forgot about his unnerving need for drugs, sex, and nicotine. Then the bubble would pop, never to be heard from again.