"Tonight was wonderful, Zac," Nic said, stopping at her door. "Even after a year of not talking, you still amaze me."
"Well, it's all part of my charm." I said. "What can I say? I'm just good like that." We went inside and found Lauryn asleep on the bed, sprawled out over the entire thing, and Taylor asleep at the table. What the hell? Why was she asleep here?
"She's on my bed," I heard Nic growl.
"And she's not going to move. I think your best bet is just to sleep in my room. I'll sleep on the floor or something." That was very odd, hearing me say that I'd sleep on the floor. This was Nic. We always slept together.
"All right," she said, shaking her head. She looked really pissed off, but I think it was more over Lauryn on her bed than anything else. "I'll just get my stuff." She grabbed her bag from the floor on the other side of the room. "Okay, let's go."
"How long were we gone to have them both asleep?" Taylor never went to sleep early, but I knew Lauryn usually got tired around midnight. "I know Taylor doesn't fall asleep early, especially when he's waiting for someone."
"Yeah, I know. It must be late. I'm not quite sure. I didn't bring a watch," she said.
"Neither did I." I opened the door to my room and found a clock. Four-thirty. "Nic it's four-thirty."
"Are you serious? Four-thirty? No wonder I'm tired." Another uncomfortable silence entered the room. There was so many things wrong with this situation. I have a girlfriend, but I'm having someone else stay over. I guess if it was just anyone I wouldn't feel so bad, but this is Nic. The girl I didn't get over, just got someone else to prove to myself that I didn�t need her. "I'm gonna change," Nic suddenly said.
"Wait, before you do," I said, taking her hand to stop her. "Let me look at you once more in your dress." I looked over her, a goofy smile on my face, I'm sure. I spun her around, just so her hair would twirl, then looked in her clear eyes. "You look so beautiful. You are so beautiful." She blushed.
"Thank you." I sighed. I didn't want her to change. She looked so beautiful just like this, I never wanted the moment to end. "I'm gonna change now." As she went into the bathroom, I figured I might as well change now. I threw my clothes on a chair and looked up just in time to see Nic walk out of the bathroom with her Las Vegas shirt and her flannel pants that she wore nearly every night last year.
"I'm getting d�j� vu."
"Why?"
"Last year. You used to walk out of there in the same fashion with that on. You wore that a lot." She looked down at her clothes.
"It's comfortable." She walked to the bed; her hair still bouncing and beautiful. She climbed onto the bed.
"The only difference is that I won't be sleeping next to you," I told her.
"I'd invite you in, but we'll wake up late tomorrow and I don't want Lauryn coming in here and thinking that something is up." True, she might think that.
"Well if she asked, I'd just ask why she was sleeping in Taylor's room."
"Would you like to sleep in the bed with me, Zac?"
"Yes I would." I climbed into the bed with her, but the whole time, I could think was This is so wrong, Zac. What the hell are you doing? Oh well, I'm taking my chances.
"Tonight was the best night of my life, Zac. I couldn't think of a way to top that."
"I can." Would now be a good time to invite her to my exhibition in Chicago? When was it, two weeks from now?
"Well you always have something up your sleeve. You can always think of something." She looked over at me. "What are you thinking?"
"There's a museum exposition a few days after we get to Chicago. It's another thing Lauryn would whine about until the world ended. I don't want to bring her. Would you like to go?"
"Yes I would. I don't know how that could be better than a symphony, but I bet you'll find a way to make it better." Of course I would! It's my show. But, she doesn�t have to know that.
"You know me too well." My eyes grazed over her lips. I so wanted to kiss her. I don't know how much more of this I could take. I wanted to kiss her, have her, hold her, and I wanted it right now.
"But then again any time with you is something I look forward to," she said. "Oh shit, I shouldn't have said that." Okay, that means she still has feelings for me. I can go in for the kill.
"Nic?"
"What?" she asked, turning to me. Okay, I'm going in. I pressed my lips against hers for the taste of forbidden desire. I'm not supposed to do this, which only makes me want to continue more.
"I'm sorry for doing this," I said, pulling her into an embrace. I'm so stupid sometimes. Here I am cheating on my girlfriend with my brother's girlfriend. I don't mind so much the cheating on my girlfriend part, cause I've done that enough already, but I'm doing it with my brother's girlfriend. I know how bad I felt when he slept with Amber. I don't want to do that to him.
"Don't be," she whispered. "I'm just a guilty as you."
"Yeah, but Taylor, he's my brother."
"We�ll just have to make sure he doesn't find out." I nodded. Well at least she wasn't trying to get out of this. It made me feel better. "I'm just as bad as you are. Can we just stop thinking about it?" I nodded again.
"But tomorrow everything's going to change. We can't think about this again." I might as well suggest it, even though I was not going to forget about it any time soon.
"I won't."
"You sure?"
"Well I do suppose it depends on what we do tonight?" Was she suggesting something? Maybe...
"If we keep going like we were, I think we'll getting pretty far," I said, pulling away from her. I saw her smile. So she wants to go far? I can arrange that. "What was that? Are you happy about it?"
"With you I'm always happy."
"So am I. We just can't let that get in the way." She sighed and looked away. "Not around everyone else. I don't want people to know we were fooling around while we were still with other people."
"I won't. I promise. This won't get in the way." I kissed her again, this time laying her on her back. She responded by pushing me onto my back. "I'm on top," she said.
"Oh really? So you've had enough experience to want to be on top?"
"Shut up."
"Someone's sexually deprived." She looked in my eyes.
"Taylor is my boyfriend. I am very sexually deprived."
"Usually Taylor has no problem in that area," I said.
"Well he does with me." She forcefully kissed me. I don't think I've ever seen this side of Nic before. I had to admit I liked it, because it gave me the freedom to fuck instead of make love. Making love, that was too much for me. It meant there was more feeling it in, rather than just pure love and the 'I want your body' type thing. Making love involved the soul, while fucking consisted only of the body. Tonight, we were just going to fuck.
I woke up the next morning as the sunlight poured into the room. It must be late becase the window in the room was close to the ceiling and the sunlight was pouring directly on me. I opened my eyes and rolled over. Nic was still asleep peacefully. I looked at her and smiled. I'm still half-asleep, so I'm going to allow myself to think about her.
I in no way regret what happened the previous night. Sure, it might affect everything and Lauryn might find out, but it was worth it. Having Lauryn find out means breaking up with Lauryn. I really didn't want to do that, I still cared for her a great deal, but if we broke up I'd only go to Nic anyway.
I kissed Nic on the forehead and she turned lightly, smiling. I caught her smile and it stayed with me as I got out of the bed and walked to the bathroom. I turned on the water for the shower and closed the door. What time was it? Where's my watch? I looked around the sink and found it lying in the corner. I picked it up and looked at it.
"Eleven. Hmph," I said to myself. I didn't expect to sleep that long. Well, Lauryn didn't look like she was back yet, so she must be asleep too.
I took a quick shower, trying to get Nic's smell off me. She had a nice smell. I don�t know what kind of shampoo or soap or whatever she uses, but it's a very prominent smell, so much that I could smell it on myself as I walked around. I'm sure Lauryn would notice and question it, so I needed to wash it off.
As I walked out of the bathroom, Lauryn just walked in. "Where have you been?" I asked.
"Well last night I was all alone and Taylor invited me over. I was going to wait for you there but it got late and I got tired and I fell asleep. I'm sorry."
"No, it's all right. I don't care if you hang out with Taylor while I'm gone. Nic was just upset she couldn�t sleep in her own bed."
"Where is she?" Lauryn asked. I pointed to the bed. Lauryn looked over. "Oh..." Nic shifted in the bed. "You're up!" Lauryn squealed. Oh God. "It's about time! Sheesh, Zac, how late was the symphony?" And I'm sure Lauryn just woke up too. Why did she have to be so obnoxious?
Nic crawled out of the bed and walked up to Lauryn, her hands shaking in her anger. Was she going to hit Lauryn? It looked possible. "Listen, I don't need to wake up to your high-pitched ear piercing voice. I just woke up, you don't understand how painful you are right now."
"I just said..."
"I don't give a fuck about what you just said, all right? I heard what you said. Your voice is like a thousand needles piercing my brain. Don't say a word until I am officially gone." She looked around. "Zac, where did I put my stuff?" I was afraid to answer her. I might burst out laughing. That was hysterical.
"I think it's by the table." I put my hand over my mouth, hiding my smile. This is one of the reasons I love Nic so much. She's not afraid to say anything to anybody, especially when she's not awake.
"Okay, thanks." She took her stuff and left. Lauryn turned to me.
"She's a bitch in the morning, isn't she?" I shook my head.
"No, she's just speaking her mind. She's not really a morning person." I sat down, laughing. Lauryn came over and sat on my lap, facing me.
"Did you have fun last night?" she asked. Oh, more than you would imagine, I thought.
"Yeah, I did. The symphony was awesome, but I guess it's just not your thing. You don�t like art either, do you?" I asked. I really went out on a limb asking Nic to my show last night. Lauryn wouldn't like it, but she might want to go because it's my show.
"No," she said, crinkling her nose. "Why? Is something coming up that you want to go to?"
"Well it's not that I want to go; it's that I have to go. See, I'm having my first show in Chicago." I noticed the confused look she was giving me. "I'm an artist. I paint. You know, with the brush and the colors..." She gave me a look. "Sorry. The Chicago Art Museum is giving me a show so I can show off and sell the paintings I've done. It's in two weeks. I wanted you to go, but if you don't like it, I won't force anything."
"I'm sorry, but it really doesn't interest me. Whether it's your art or something else's."
"That's okay."
"Why don't you take Nic? If she likes this symphony stuff, she might like art too." I shrugged.
"Maybe I could ask her." Well, I already asked her. Same thing.
"You should. It's nice to have a friend who likes the same stuff as you. She can go with you to your artsy stuff, and I can do everything else." She kissed me. I didn't feel right. Guilt was pouring over me. Here was Lauryn, who was in love with me, and I just slept with Nic. I didn't feel right kissing Lauryn because when I closed my eyes I pictured that I was kissing Nic. And in my book, that's worst than having sex with her. See, I don�t kiss very many people. I fuck everybody, all the time, but I only take the time to make out with the ones I really care about.
The door opened. Have these people ever heard of knocking? I pulled away from Lauryn and looked over. Isaac was at the door. "What's up Ike?"
"The girls want to see you."
"Then why are you here?" I asked.
"Cause they're too damn lazy to get up and get you themselves so they took the time to call me and tell you they wanted to see you."
"Why didn't they call me?"
"Do I look like their personal secretary? No! Now get your ass up and talk to them!" The cell phone in his hands rang. "Hello?" He paused. "Yes I talked to him! God Michelle, you are so lazy! Get over here and say that yourself. What the hell is your problem?"
"I'll be back," I told Lauryn. She got off my lap. I passed by Isaac, who was still on the phone, and went into the girls' room. I took the phone from Michelle and hung it up. "God, you're lazy."
"I know. But I got you here, didn't I?" I rolled my eyes and sat down on the floor next to her.
"What do you want, sweetie?"
"How was last night? I heard Nic looked pretty spiffy all dolled up. Did you two do anything you shouldn't have?"
"No, of course not," I said. The door opened and Darling came in.
"You had sex with her?" Darling asked. What?! How did she find out? And of course she had to be Darling and announce it to the whole room so now Rachel knows. If Taylor ever suspects something he'll go to Rachel and find out, then he'll tell Lauryn.
"How did you find out?" I asked.
She smiled. "You just told me." Oh my God. She didn't know and I just told her. How stupid am I? "I had a feeling you did by the way she was acting, but now I know for sure. Thanks." She turned to leave.
"Darling, wait," I sat, getting up and nearly running to the door. "Don�t go saying anything. So I messed around with Nic last night. I do that. I have sex with everybody, all the time. It doesn't mean you can go around telling people and announcing it to everyone. I don't want Lauryn to know this side of me and I don�t want Taylor to know I slept with his girlfriend. If he finds out, he'll beat the living shit out of me. I know, he's done it before. Now Rachel knows, and if Taylor ever thought something was up, he'd go straight to her and he'd know. Last night was probably just a mistake, but whatever, it happened. I just don't want people knowing."
"All right," Darling said. "I won't say anything." She left. I walked back to my spot in front of Michelle.
"You had sex with her? Dude, details," Michelle said. I noticed Rachel had come closer so she could hear everything. Well, if she found out we did it, she might as well know why.
"There's not much to explain, really. It's Nic. I never got over Nic. We went to the symphony, then to this field where we laid on the grass and..."
"You fucked her in a field?" Michelle asked. I laughed.
"No! No, we just stayed there and talked for a little while."
"Okay! I was gonna say, damn, there's like dirt and insects and stuff there. That would not be my idea of a great time."
"Come on, you mean you've never had fun in the great outdoors?" I asked. That was something I actually have done. I'm not too proud of it, but it has happened. A few years ago, I messed around with someone in a forest. Who was that? I think it was Taurii, actually. "Hey Taurii, didn't we do something in a forest?" Taurii thought about it then laughed.
"Yeah, it was me. That wasn't the most pleasant experience. I had bug bites in places I couldn't scratch." I laughed. Yeah, it wasn't very fun, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. But then again, we were both as high as a kite and still doing more.
"So what happened? You went to the field and then what?" Michelle asked, bringing her legs up to her chest and resting her chin on her knees.
"We were there for a long time, longer than either of us thought. By the time we got home everyone was already asleep. Lauryn was at Taylor's the whole time and she fell asleep on the bed, so I took Nic back to my room."
"And then you fucked her?"
"And then I fucked her," I said. I loved Michelle's bluntness. Michelle's my girl. She's actually the one friend that goes way back. I've known her all my life, I don't remember not knowing her. I hate that we haven't been close lately, so I figured today would be a good night to catch up on things. Taurii and Rachel were trippin', knowing them they'd be out cold in a half an hour and it wasn't even noon yet.
I moved so I was next to Michelle. I put my arm around her. "How are you doing, sweetie? We never hang out anymore. Here you're always getting high with the girls and back home you're always with that Trey guy. I never get to see you."
"You saw plenty of me that other night. We went to the jewelry store! What else is there?"
"I mean just you and me time. You're my girl, my M-dawg." She rolled her eyes. "You're my sweetie. How are you doing?"
"I'm good. Getting high, getting laid, hearing good music from you guys. The show's really good this year. I love that song you're singing lead on. The single. It's awesome."
"Yeah, that's cause I wrote it."
"You should sing lead on all the songs, Zakky," she said, resting her head on my shoulder. She's the only girl around here that I let call me Zakky. It's only because she's called me that since forever ago, back when everyone called me Zakky. "The album's number one! What's up with that? There's loads more girls out there. You're selling out all the arenas and getting more fans."
"Just what we need. More fans. If I hadn't said anything, I'd be fucking a lot more girls that I'd like." She looked up at me.
"What's wrong with more fans? I thought you'd be happy you've gotten more fans, a number one single and an album that's gone multi-platinum."
"It's just weird, I guess. Everyone's telling me it's all because of my song as a single. It wasn't even originally my song! It was Taylor's, he just lost his voice and I had to sing it. I didn't even want to. But then I get pushed into it and it's this megahit, bringing us all this fame and more fortune that we don't need. We've got more success than anyone right now, we're suddenly bigger than we've ever imagined in our wildest dreams. And I don't want it. I want to be nobody. I want to be little Zakky Hanson from Fig Street instead of Zac Hanson, superstar."
"Well, Zakky, think about it. If that didn't happen you would have never met Nic."
"I'm starting to think that's not such a bad idea." I looked at Michelle. "She just crushed me so bad. I'm finally happy with someone and she's ruining it just by existing."
"It's not her fault. You were the one who didn't talk to her. I bet you anything she would have gone back to you if you would have just said something."
"You're not helping, sweetie."
"I'm sorry." She wrapped her arms around me. I felt her breath on my neck and I looked down at her and smiled. "If you never met Nic, who would you be running after anyway?" she asked.
"Well, you," I said. She smiled.
"You would have already had me." I kissed her forehead. "I love you, Zakky."
"I love you too, Mich."
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Index