Two weeks later our album sold more copies than any other this year. And I couldn't be more upset. I hate this. I can't go anywhere, I can't do anything anymore! I have to plan everything I do and make sure I don't get recognized when I do it. I have to stay locked up in this damn hotel with bodyguards swarming around so nothing happens to me. Nothing ever happens to me! I don't get it.
On a lighter note, my exhibition is tonight. I'm really nervous. I guess I just don't want to fail at this. That's my biggest fear. The band is so successful; if this flops, it might affect the band.
"Baby?" Lauryn asked. "Are you all right?"
"I'm just nervous about tonight." I said, looking over at her. She smiled and walked over before sitting on my lap.
"Baby, you have no reason to be nervous. Now I may not be some art critic or even a fan or art, but I've seen your stuff and it's good! Everything you do is good. You wrote all the songs on this album and it's still number one. You sang the single and that's still number one too!"
"But that's what I don't want! I don�t want anything I'm getting. I just want it all to go away."
"What's so bad about it? It's everyone's dream to be famous. And you're more famous that anybody right now. Everyone around the whole knows who you are."
"Yeah, but I lost my identity. I can't go anywhere without a bodyguard; I'm always in the public eye. I can't just disappear and be nobody again. I want to go to the store and not have to leave because everyone knows me. I hate being somebody. I lost everything that is me because it's what everyone knows. I have no private life anymore. And I hate it."
"Ugh, I don't get you!" she said, getting off my lap. "You are living everyone's dream."
"Not mine," I muttered.
"You have everything. You have so much money that you and your family can live in style for the rest of your lives! You have every single material possession, all you need is to say yes and it's yours. What else do you need?"
"I need to be happy. I'm not happy. One moment I'm being loved by thousands of people and then I go home and who's there? No one."
"I'm here," she said. "I'm the one who loves you when you get home. I love you the way they love you."
"You love me the same way they love me?" I asked. "You mean you love me as an icon?"
"No! I mean I love you unconditionally. I don't see any flaws, I just see you."
"You should see flaws. Flaws are what make me human. I'm not perfect; I don't want to be perfect! I'm not better than anyone else. Stop treating me that way."
"Stop being so humble!" You are better than them. You can sing, you can write these beautiful songs, and you can paint! You are so much better than some of the people out there." I got up.
"I can't believe you're saying this to me! So I have the ability to do a few things. That doesn't make me any better, it doesn't make you any better. What have you learned about morals in your life? Did they just go through the air in your head?"
"Well it's the truth!"
"No it's not. You are no better than the next person. I'm not better than anyone! The only different is that I wanted fame more. And I got it, and I hate it! I don't want this anymore! So stop acting like a stupid spoiled little snob that you are and leave it alone!"
"I am not a stupid spoiled little snob!"
"Yes you are! You're as spoiled as all hell; just look at you! You're decked out in designer clothes and your four hundred dollar shoes. If you ever think you need something, you just run to Daddy or run to me and pull that sweet talking shit and you'll get it! And you look down on people that don't have as much money as you, thinking you're so much better than them. The only reason you're going out with me is because I'm rich and I'm famous and my album is number one."
"That isn't it at all!"
"Yes it is," I said, huffing. "I need drugs."
"Drugs? What?" I ignored her and ran out of the room. She ran after me. "Zac! You are not going to get high."
"Okay, I won't. I'll just get stoned."
"Zac! No!" Lauryn yelled at me. "I'm not going to let you do that to yourself." I walked back over to her.
"Do you actually think you have any control over me whatsoever?" I asked. "You don't! I'm fucking pissed off at you and this is how I calm down, all right? I've been this routine a million times already, you just need to get used to the fact that you are staying with a druggie. Everyone here is a druggie. Everyone here has either been to rehab, to the hospital, or has overdosed at least once. Everyone does drugs here. It doesn't mean I'm going to allow you to start, but it does mean that I can still continue doing this."
"What do you mean, you're not going to let me start?" she asked. "Even if I wanted to, in which I don't, I wouldn't ask you to begin with! I don't care if you're a druggie or not, but resorting to putting toxins in your system that will eventually kill you is not the way to get over a fight with me. Zac, you can't escape from your problems for a little while and expect everything to be all better when it's over."
"Did I ask for your opinion? No!" I yelled at her.
"Zac, you're doing the wrong thing! You're going all about this completely wrong and I won't let you do anymore."
"I don't need this right now. I don't need you and your incessant, squeaky, ear piercing voice right now! Leave me alone, I need to calm down!" I went across the hall and into the girls' room, slamming the door behind me and then sinking down to the floor. I looked around the room. Taurii looked back at me. "What?" I snapped.
"Sorry," she said. "Just wondering who came in. I guess I should have known it was you because you slammed the door."
"I'm just really worked up right now," I said. Not only did I just have my first major fight with Lauryn (me bitching at her on our first date wasn't exactly a fight), I had it in the middle of the hallway so everyone could hear it. "I just need to clam down."
"I don't think you should do any drugs cause you've got that show tonight and I'm sure you're going to be making speeches," Michelle said.
"Show? What show? I thought there wasn't a show tonight," Taurii said.
"I have an art show at the Chicago Art Museum," I said, waving it off. "But, whatever, I won't do anything, I'll just stay here a little while and cool off."
"Maybe you should go apologize," Taurii suggested.
"Me? I shouldn't apologize to her. I was right. She was the one that was wrong."
"Like she's ever going to admit that," Taurii continued. "She's a chick. Not only is she a chick; she's Lauryn. I've talked to her and she's not about to admit she's wrong over some fight the two of you had. She'll never admit she's wrong."
"Do you guys like Lauryn at all?" I asked. I was surprised when all three of the girls shook their heads. "Why?"
"She's a bitch," Michelle admitted. "She's a bitch and she thinks she's so much better than us because she's going out with you. You know if I had my way and if she wasn't your girlfriend I would have knocked her out ages ago. I don't like the way she acts and I don't like how she treats everybody."
"I agree," Taurii said. Rachel nodded. I really wanted to hear Rachel's opinion. I wanted to know if Rachel knew anything about Lauryn. Well, I might as well find out now while I'm upset.
"Hey Rach," I said, getting up and walking over to her. She was sitting at the table with Taurii, playing cards. "Ooh cards, it looks so intriguing." I rolled my eyes and sat down. "What are you playing?"
"Poker," Rachel said.
"Hey, you guys want to play strip poker?" I asked, laughing.
"Um, no, because we'd beat your ass, so we'd end up fully clothed and you'll be naked," Taurii said. "And I'm sorry, but I'm not high right now so I really would prefer not to see you naked."
"What's wrong with my body?" I asked, still laughing. I've done my share of strip poker and after all this time I still always lose.
"You're Zac! Zac doesn't hit on me when I'm not high, all right?" I rolled my eyes again.
"Whatever. So, Rach, have you heard anything about Lauryn? There's gotta be some dirt on her now that's were three weeks into the tour."
"I heard she made out with Taylor while you and Nic were at the symphony," she told me, picking up her cards and looking at them.
"Why would she make out with Taylor of all people?" I asked.
"I don't know how she feels about him because I haven't talked to her yet but I do know that Taylor has thing for her."
"Taylor always has a thing for the girls I'm dating. What, am I going to lose Lauryn to him too?" Rachel shrugged.
"Well, think of it this way, "Rachel said. "The bigger the fight with Lauryn, the better the make up sex." Well, if you put it that way...it doesn't seem like such a bad idea after all. I still think Lauryn's completely wrong, but that's the way she was raised and that was how she was taught, so she's just trying to defend what she thinks is right. I got up and left the room, feeling better. Hey! I feel better and didn't resort to drugs or even cigarettes! I'm so good.
I went back over to my room and pulled Lauryn out into the hallway. Before I could suggest anything, or say anything, Nic stormed out of Darling's room and walked towards us. "Hi!" Lauryn said, trying to be nice.
"Not now, you fucking bitch," Nic snapped, and as she passed by she shoved Lauryn onto the ground with one hand.
"Nic, be nice," I said, helping Lauryn back to her feet. She was completely surprised, I could tell by the look on her face.
"I'm not in the mood, Zachary!" she yelled, then ran in her room.
"I'm sure she's not having a good day," I reassured Lauryn. "She never calls me Zachary unless she's pissed off, so let's just leave her alone for a little while."
"So why'd you bring me out here?" she asked.
"To tell you the truth," I said, looking over at her. "I forgot. Let's go back inside." I opened the door and let her go inside first before following her. "Listen, I'm really sorry for yelling at you. I don't think you're right at all, but I'm sorry for provoking a fight."
"Well you should be."
"Don't make me start a fight again. This is where you say 'I'm sorry too, Zac. I didn't mean to say that. I just thought I was right.' "
"I am right."
"I don't care if you're right or if you're wrong, I just care that you don't want to fight about it anymore. I don't even want to talk about it anymore. Today is a big day for me and the last thing I need right now is to fight with my girlfriend."
"Then you have your big deal, I won't be here if you need me." She grabbed her purse and left the room. I rolled my eyes and sat down. I swear before the tour ends, that girl is going to give me an ulcer. I sat there a few minutes before looking at the time. Nic and I had to leave for the exhibition in an hour. Well, if Nic's calmed down any, I'll go remind her that we're leaving.
I walked down the hall and went into Nic and Taylor's room. They were making out. Again. What the hell? It's like I can't even talk to her without her lips being attached to him. Ugh, they were too happy for their own good.
"God, you two, give it a rest," I said. Nic looked over, but she obviously was not focusing her attention on me.
"What, Zac?" Was she still pissed off? Was she pissed off at me? No, cause I didn't do anything. At least I don't think I did something. Or maybe it was because I didn't do something that I should have done. I don't know. I'm confused.
"We're going to the museum exhibition," I reminded her, because I'm sure she'd forget if she was making out with Taylor. "I want to leave in a bit."
"All right. I'll get ready." I left the room, closing the door behind me. We're going to be late, I can predict it right now. She'll take way too long to get ready, and she'll start late because she didn't want to get up from her position all over Taylor. God, stuff like that sickens me. I know I do it in public and they were doing it in the privacy of their own room, but I still don't like it.
An hour later I walked into Taylor's room again. Nic wasn't anywhere near ready, in fact she had just gotten dressed, so she hadn't done her hair or makeup yet. I wanted to leave now, but of course, she was going to make me late. Did I not predict this or what?
I'm not in the mood for this. Lauryn ran out of the room an hour ago and took no way for me to contact her and she still isn't back. She has no idea how to get around in this city, and it's a big scary city out there. She could have gotten mauled or robbed or beaten up and thrown in a gutter somewhere. Right now I was really starting to panic. We were going to be late for my very own art show, and my girlfriend is loose no the streets of Chicago. And she has my credit card! Oh my God she's going to spend all my money!!
"I swear to God if you make us late Nicole, I will so have your ass. Let's go!" I yelled at Nic over her blow dryer. Her hair looked fine, it was pretty much dry; she could turn the damn thing off and we could leave already.
"I'm coming, hold on! We won't be late!"
"Just grab your makeup and let's go. You can put it on in the car and your hair is dry enough." She shut off the blow dryer, rolling her eyes. "I cannot fucking believe you're taking this much time."
"Don't get mad at me, Zac," she said. "We will not be late." I grabbed her and dragged her behind me to the elevators. To my luck there was one at this floor, so we went right in. I looked at my watch again. Oh yeah, we're going to be late. "Calm down, hun."
"I'm sorry," I said, taking a deep breath. "I'm really sorry. It's just Lauryn is getting on my nerves and has been all day. I just want everything to go well tonight and I hate being late." The doors opened and we ran to the car. I quickly opened Nic's door for her before running to my side of the car.
"How was your visit with Amber?" I asked, recalling somewhere Nic went earlier that day. Her, Darling and Taylor all went to see Amber. I don't know why she went, because she absolutely hates Amber, but whatever she wanted to do. It was her decision, not mine. "Hell and back?"
"Pretty much," She said, smiling. "Taylor was a loser and was all over her the entire time. Yeah, I still have to kick his ass for that."
"Well you two seemed pretty chummy when I walked in there. I almost didn't want to go in because you were on such a rampage earlier. You even called me Zachary. You never call me that," I said, glancing over at her. She started to put on her makeup. She really didn't need it, but there was going to be cameras there so I didn't stop her.
"Yeah, Taylor and I had a fight. I went to talk to Darling about it but she wasn't there so I ended up talking to Isaac. I didn't like what he said and it made me even more upset. But what you saw was our makeup." Well, at least their makeup wasn't sex.
"Well I'm sorry I had to pull you away from that," I said.
"Eh, we needed a break. I've been looking forward to tonight. I've wanted to see this exhibition. And I guess another night out with you wouldn't kill me, even though I'd rather give an old dirty man a sponge bath�"
"Hey!"
"I'm kidding. I was looking forward to spending time with you again. We don't do much anymore. Now that you're with Lauryn and I've got Taylor. I'm sure Lauryn's glad to hear that you didn't buy me anything this time."
"Then we won't tell her," I said. I was planning on giving Nic the portrait I drew of her, but only if she really liked it. If she didn't, I could always just sell it with the rest of them.
"Uh-oh. What did you buy me? It better not be expensive, my boyfriend's not going to like it," she said, looking over at me.
"Well he's some boyfriend if he's letting out on a date with me," I said, smiling at her. Oh my God...we're on a date. We're on a date. Again. Hey, maybe if I'm lucky, tonight will turn out the same as it did the night of symphony. That would be good, but I'm sure Lauryn wouldn't be too happy about it. With my luck she's probably back at the hotel now with Taylor. Well, as long as they don't have sex, I'm perfectly fine with her being friends with him.
"We're not on a date," Nic said. "Are we?"
"Technically, yes."
"Why didn't you tell me? I would have actually started earlier and looked all pretty for you!" I shrugged. "And what about Lauryn? She's letting you on a date with me."
"I don't even think Lauryn knows I'm gone. Nic, I've got to tell you, bringing her on this tour is probably the worst decision of my life. I'm starting to realize how Goddamn annoying she is!" So, I guess I still am mad at her from earlier.
"You just now realized that?" Nic asked. "I knew after ten minutes on a plane with her. And that was before I found out she's dating you!"
"I'm going to break up with her." Oh God, Zac, you did not just say that. You did not just tell Nic that. She'll hound you and now you're going to have to actually do it. Well, I didn't say when I'm going to break up with her.
"Oh, that's too bad. I was just beginning to like her," Nic said. Uh-huh. I'm pretty sure that if I wasn't right next to her, she's start jumping for joy and clicking her heels.
"This coming from someone who, not an hour ago, pushed her to the ground and called her a 'fucking bitch.' "
"Oh, I was just angry."
"Liar. You enjoyed every minute of it."
"Yeah, I did." Well at least she's being honest with me. "I'm sorry. I don't like her. Is she a cheerleader? She seems like the type."
"Captain of her Varsity squad at her high school," I said. I'm not proud of that fact, but I do find it interesting that my girlfriend pretty much devotes her life to flaunting herself in front of every guy in her high school, and quite frequently at that.
"Oh dear God," Nic said. I could hear the disgust in her voice. So she doesn't like Lauryn. I don't even like Lauryn but her disgust did make me laugh. "Whatever made you like her?"
"She's really a nice person. When I met her it seemed like a good idea, and I liked her until we got here. Then seeing you again and having her constantly being Lauryn, she annoyed me to a point where I got sick of her."
"That's what basically living with someone can do to you. Like Taylor, he's a consistent slob. You know I can be one too." I nodded. She was a horrible, horrible slob. I don't know how she could live like that. "Shut up. I like being neat the rest of the time. With him, it's impossible."
"I don't think Taylor knows the meaning of the word neat."
"That's probably true." She turned her head to look out the window. "So, what's the exhibition like? I've never been to one before."
"Well, it's a certain artist's night to show off their work. People can buy some or just look at it. I happen to be good friends with this artist and he invited me to come." I consider me a good friend of myself, right?
"Who's this friend of yours?" she asked.
"Just a guy. We go way back, though." I go way back with everyone, don't I? Maybe I need a new phrase.
I pulled up to the museum and looked at Nic. "Ready?" I asked.
"Sure. Let's go."