When we got back from Amber’s house, I plopped on the bed. “Tell me, Taylor, why did I put myself through that?”
“It wasn’t that bad, Nic,” Taylor said, laying on the bed next to me. He picked up the book he’d read a few times since we’d been there (I still chuckled every time he took it out).
“Yeah, you had a great time. You were all over her.”
“Do I sense a hint of jealousy in that remark?” he asked. I gave him a look. It was true, yes, but I didn’t want him to know that. “I do! I think I do! You are jealous that I was with Amber and I stopped paying attention to you!”
“Shut up! I was not jealous, Taylor.”
“Yes you were. You were jealous, and of Amber! Amber of all people!” I shook my head. “Come on, you were. It’s alright to be jealous every now and then. Especially when it’s of me.”
“I’m not jealous.”
“Liar.”
“Okay, so maybe I was a little jealous. It’s just you seem as if you like her so much more than me. You don’t look at me like you look at her.”
“Dude, stop sounding like my girlfriend. We’re not really going out.”
“Tell that to yourself. You want to make out left and right.”
“Shut up.”
“I don’t mind. It gives me something to do so I don’t have to stare at your ugly face all day.”
“What? Did you just insult my looks?” I laughed and nodded. “You are so going to get killed in your sleep.”
“Then I’ll have to kill you first,” I said.
“You can try.”
“You want to go? Cause I will so kick your scrawny little ass. I could break your neck like a twig.”
“Bull shit!”
“I so could! Do you actually want to try me? Listen, little boy, I will win.”
“Little boy? I am two years older than you!” I laughed; this was so silly. The both of us were so scrawny we’d break ourselves trying to hurt each other. He was just naturally scrawny, and his years of heroin just made him even thinner, and I'd just gotten out of rehab so I was still little. If I was a fly on the wall watching this, I'd die of laughter.
“Let’s go, then.”
“Um, no,” he said.
“Chicken!”
“No, I just don’t want to hurt you.”
“Oh, I’m sure.” I shook my head and got off the bed. As I walked away, Taylor jumped on me and we both fell to the ground.
“I am so much better than you,” he said as he pinned me against the ground. “Don’t even think you can beat me at my own game.”
“You are so full of yourself.”
“You just now figured this out?” he asked, smiling.
“You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen,” I said, brushing his hair out of his face and looked at his eyes.
“Like I’ve been saying, you just not figured this out? My eyes are my identity.”
“I can see why.”
“One of the assets that make me the perfect guy.”
“Shut up. I make a better guy than you do!”
“I make a better girl than you!”
“I won’t deny that.” He raised an eyebrow. “I think you’d make a pretty girl. If only I could find a way to get you in a dress.”
“I think I’ll pass on that.”
“Why? I think you’d look downright sexy in a dress.”
“No.”
“Come on, babe!” He shook his head. “You’re just no fun.”
“But you can put on that dress and I’ll gawk at you.”
“I don’t see how great that dress is. It’s just a dress. Everyone’s making this big deal like I’ve never acted like a girl before.”
“Well, Nic, none of us have ever seen you in a dress before that one. And you looked hot. You are hot, it’s just that you really don’t dress to flatter yourself.”
“I just wear what’s comfortable; I don’t go for fashion.”
“You should.”
“Why?”
“I just told you! You’re beautiful, Nic!” he said. “You’re more beautiful than all the other girls here.”
“I know. It’s just fun getting complimented.” I saw the look on his face change. “What? What’s the matter, babe?”
“I need to tell you something. You’re not going to like it, but I have to tell you.”
“What is it?” I asked. Either something was wrong or he was playing with me. I hoped he was playing with me.
“I—I don’t want to break up with you.”
“What?” I asked, nearly screaming. “Why?”
He got off me and sat against the bed. We were doing fine; we were having a nice conversation and he told me this. Why did he have to say that?
“Remember when we were at Amber’s and she mentioned we’d done this fake relationship thing? And I fell in love with her?” I nodded. Why is it that I know where this is going? “Well...”
“Goddammit Taylor!” I said, getting up off the ground. “Why the hell did you have to say that now? I was doing perfectly fine until you told me that.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I told you; I’m sorry I feel this way but I can’t help it! Just being with you has been so great.”
“Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up! I don’t need this right now. I don’t love you, I love Zac!”
“I know that! I’m not going to stop from getting Lauryn out of the way. We have been close lately and I think we’re getting somewhere. I won’t stop you from getting Zac but I won’t be with Lauryn afterwards.”
“Why’d you have to say it, Tay? Oh fuck,” I said. I went to the door and went out, slamming it behind me. What was I going to do now?
I had to talk to Darling. She was the only person who knew about us, so maybe she was the only person who could help me out. I went over to her room and knocked on the door. Isaac opened it up. “Is Darling in there?”
“No she’s not.”
“Dammit! Where is she? I need to talk to her.”
“Why?”
“I’m having problems with my boyfriend,” I said. “Do you know where she is?”
“Oh, you’re having problems with your ‘boyfriend’ ” he asked.
“You know about it?”
“Yeah, she told me.”
“I figured she would. Then I can talk to you about it.” I pushed him inside and closed the door behind me. “Okay, I’m in there and he just told me he doesn’t want to break up with me and that he’s falling in love with me. What the hell am I supposed to do?”
“Well, do you love him back?” Isaac asked. I never thought about that. I never thought about me loving him. I told him I didn’t, but the thought really never crossed my mind.
I was jealous of him...I did like being with him...No. I couldn’t. I was in love with Zac. I repeated his name in my head. Zac, Zac, you love Zac…
“I’m guessing that’s a yes?” Isaac asked.
“That’s an ‘I don’t know.’ I have no clue. I’m thinking about it.”
“What’s there to think about? You either love him or you just like him. It’s not that hard.”
“Sure, Mister I-have-Darling-and-I-always-had-her.”
“We weren’t always a good couple, Nic.” I sighed and looked at him. “Do you love Taylor or not?”
“I don’t know! I like being with him, these past couple of weeks have been the best with him, but I still love Zac.”
“We’re not talking about Zac here! This has nothing to do with Zac. We’re talking about Taylor.”
“But I’m not supposed to forget about Zac! The whole reason I even look at Taylor is because he’s helping me get Zac. It’s been that way since the beginning. I am with Taylor so he could get Lauryn and I could get Zac.”
“But Taylor doesn’t want to be with Lauryn anymore, now does he? Maybe you need to forget about Zac and focus on the possibility of a great relationship with Taylor.”
“I don’t want a great relationship with him! Sure, it’s fun around him, but if I’m around Zac I can’t stop myself from being with him. If I started dating Taylor for real, then I won’t be able to be with Zac.”
“What makes you think Zac is actually going to still go for you?”
“Zac and I have already spent the night together, I think there’s a possibility of us doing it again.” I got up. “You’re not helping me out.”
“You just don’t like what you’re hearing.” I walked out of the room. Zac and Lauryn were just leaving their room.
“Hi!” Lauryn said, her voice making me shake my head.
“Not now, you fucking bitch,” I said, and pushed her onto the ground with one hand as I passed by.
“Nic, be nice,” Zac said.
“I’m not in the mood, Zachary!” I yelled. I went in my room and looked at Taylor. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
“For what?” he asked. He’d been writing furiously in a notebook just a moment before. I had a feeling it was about me.
“For yelling at you like that. But I just pushed Lauryn over so I feel better.” I climbed on the bed. I noticed that he hid the notebook from me.
“You’re evil,” he said.
“I know. But I’m still sorry.” I sighed. “I like you, Taylor. I like you a lot. I won’t go as far as saying that I love you, but I do like you.”
“Like me how? As a friend? As a brother? What?”
“As my boyfriend.” He smiled. “I feel bad for liking Zac so much that I can’t completely be with you.” I put my head on his chest and he dropped the notebook to the ground. “I still like you.”
“Like me enough to have sex with me?”
“You won’t give up, will you?”
“Being in a relationship with you sucks because you won’t do anything with me!”
“I know. And we’re going to keep it that way. Take a cold shower, Taylor.”
“You can call me Tay.”
“I thought you hated Tay.” He shrugged.
“It sounds alright as long as it’s coming from you.”
“You’re not going to start treating me weird cause you’re in love with me, now are you?”
“Yes.”
“Tay!”
“Nikki!”
“No.” I shook my head. “No Nikki. It makes me sound so girly.”
“Nic, I hate to break it to you, but you are a girl.”
“Really? I thought you were the girl in the relationship.”
“Shut up.” He kissed me. I loved kissing him. Even though we usually did it in public, he was fun to make out with. What I didn’t like was how we were becoming a real couple. I didn’t like to keep reminding myself that we shouldn’t be doing this or that because we weren’t a real couple. So right now, I forgot about that and continued to kiss him. Even when Zac walked in, I wasn’t too thrilled about stopping.
“God, you two, give it a rest,” he said. I looked at Zac but continued to cling to Taylor.
“What, Zac?” I asked.
“We’re going to the museum exposition. I want to leave in a bit.” Shit. I forgot about that.
“Alright. I’ll get ready.” He walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. “I don’t want to go. I want to stay here with you.”
“This is your chance to go out with him. I don’t want to hold you back from that.” I sighed. “We can still make out later.”
“Sure. I’ll go get ready.” I kissed him again. “In a few minutes.”
“I swear to God if you make us late, Nicole, I will so have your ass. Let’s go!” Zac yelled at me as I was drying my hair. Taylor and I continued to make out for longer than I thought, and now I was rushing to get ready.
“I’m coming, hold on! We won’t be late!”
“Just grab your make up and let’s go! You can put it on in the car and your hair is dry enough.” I shut off my blow dryer and grabbed my make up case. “I cannot fucking believe you’re taking this much time.”
“Don’t get mad at me, Zac,” I said. “We will not be late.” He grabbed my hand and we ran over to the elevator. Once inside, he looked at his watch and took a breath. “Calm down, hun.”
“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, it’s just Lauryn is getting on my nerves and has been all day. I just want everything to go well tonight and I hate being late.”
“It’s alright, Zac. I understand.” The doors opened and we ran to the car. Zac still took the time to open the door for me (which I made a note to tell Taylor later) before we hurried off to the museum.
“How was your visit with Amber? Hell and back?”
“Pretty much. Taylor was a loser and was all over her the entire time. Yeah, I still have to kick his ass for that.”
“Well you two seemed pretty chummy when I walked in there. I almost didn’t want to go in because you were on such a rampage earlier. You even called me Zachary. You never call me that.”
“Yeah, Taylor and I had a fight. I went to talk to Darling about it but she wasn’t there and I ended up talking to Isaac. I didn’t like what he said and it made me even more upset. But what you saw was our make up.”
“Well I’m sorry I had to pull you away from that.”
“Eh, we needed a break. I’ve been looking forward to tonight. I’ve been wanting to see this exposition. And I guess another night out with you wouldn’t kill me, even thought I’d rather give an old dirty man a sponge bath...”
“Hey!”
“I’m kidding. I was looking forward to spending time with you again. We don’t do much anymore. Now that you’re with Lauryn and I’m with Taylor.” I began putting on my make up. “I’m sure she’s glad to hear you didn’t buy me anything this time.”
“Then we won’t tell her.” I looked over at him.
“Uh-oh. What did you buy me? It better not be expensive; my boyfriend’s not going to like it.”
“Well he’s some boyfriend if he’s letting you on a date with me,” he said, smiling.
“We’re not on a date,” I retorted. “Are we?”
“Technically, yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have actually started earlier and looked all pretty for you instead of rushing to put my make up on in the car.” He shrugged. “And what about Lauryn? She’s letting you on a date with me.”
“I don’t even think Lauryn knows I’m gone. Nic, I’ve got to tell you, bringing her on this tour is probably the worst decision of my life. I’m starting to realize how Goddamn annoying she is!”
“You just now realized that?” I asked. “I knew after ten minutes on a plane with her. And that was before I found out she’s dating you.”
“I’m going to break up with her,” he said. Yes! Thank God, she’ll be gone! I thought.
“Oh, that’s too bad, I was just beginning to like her,” I said.
“This coming from someone who, not an hour ago, pushed her to the ground and called her a ‘fucking bitch.’ ”
“Oh, I was angry.”
“Liar. You enjoyed every second of it.”
“Yeah, I did.” I smiled. “I’m sorry. I don’t like her. Is she a cheerleader? She seems like the type.”
“Captain of her Varsity squad at her high school.”
“Oh dear God.” He laughed. “Whatever made you like her?”
“She’s a really nice person. When I met her it seemed like a good idea, and I liked her until we got here. Then seeing you a gain and having her consistently being Lauryn, she annoyed me to a point where I got sick of her.”
“That’s what basically living with someone can do to you. Like Taylor, he’s a consistent slob. You know I can be one too.” He nodded, lightly laughing. “Shut up. I liked being neat the rest of the time. With him, it’s impossible.”
“I don’t think Taylor knows the meaning of the word ‘neat.’ ”
“That’s probably true.” I smiled. It was fun to spend time with Zac again, even if I’d rather spend it with Taylor. “So, what’s this exposition like? I’ve never been to one before.”
“Well, it’s a certain artist’s night to show off their work. People can buy some or just look at it. I happen to be good friends with this artist and he invited me to come.”
“Who’s this friend of yours?”
“Just a guy. We go way back, though.” He pulled up the Chicago Museum. He got out first and opened my door for me. He helped me out of the car.
“So, tell me why I have to wear a dress again?” I asked, trying to not trip on the uneven street with my heels. Darling let me borrow her dress, the one I had was a bit too fancy for this. I didn't care for it too much, it was giving me major cleavage and I didn't need Zac and Taylor staring at my chest.
“Because this is a big deal,” he said, and pulled at his collar. “I hate dressing up.”
“Yeah, well you’re not wearing heels.” I held onto his hand for a bit of support. “I swear, I’m going to trip on this street. I think they need to repave it.”
“You complain too much, Nic. You’ll be fine.” I stopped.
“How typical,” I said. “A muddy puddle. Now what are you going to do about it?”
“I’m not putting down my jacket,” he said, shaking his head.
“Loser. Now what am I going to do?”
“Walk around it.”
“No, I’m not about to do that.”
“You’re so stupid sometimes. I still love you.” He realized what he said and looked away. “Yeah, well...I’ll help you.” He walked behind me and lifted me off the ground and carried me over the puddle.”
“This is more like it,” I said. He put me down at the base of the steps.
“Don’t expect it often, Nic.”
“You know I will.” We both walked up the steps and to the glass doors. He held the door open for me. “And you being a gentlemen doesn’t help.”
“You know I’ve always been like this. I just draw the line at putting my nice jacket on a muddy puddle when you could just walk around it.”
“Oh, shut up.”
We walked into the main room and I was blinded by many camera flashes. “Just smile, Nic,” Zac told me. He gave a wave to the people in the room.
“What’s this?” I asked. “Did people find out you’re coming?”
“It’s my show.”
“What?!”
“Well I consider me a friend of myself.”
“Mr. Hanson, already you’re boasting quite a turnout,” a man said, walking up to Zac and I. “Who’s this lovely lady?”
“This is Nicole King, my very good friend.”
“Not a girlfriend?” he asked, smiling at me. I made a face, which Zac noticed. He hit my arm and I smiled at him.
“No, my girlfriend couldn’t make it tonight,” Zac said.
“All the work is wonderful, Mr. Hanson. I think ‘Nic’ has gotten the most offers.” I looked over at Zac, who wasn’t looking anywhere near me.
“Yes, but that one isn’t for sale,” Zac said. The man spoke with Zac a little more before leaving.
“Would that painting happen to have anything to do with me?” I asked.
“No, it’s a different Nic that I happen to know,” he said. I smiled.
“I want to see it. Let’s go see it. Did you pain a picture of me?” I asked. “If you did I want to know why.”
“I painted that a little bit after you left last year. I spend a lot of time on it, I’m not going to say why because I don’t want you to know, but it’s my ‘masterpiece.’ ”
“Oh really? I’m your masterpiece?” I asked. “Oh, I have to see this now.”
“Then I’ll show you.” I laced my arm in his and we headed to the gallery. It took a while to get there, mostly because Zac was stopped and congratulated by everyone there.
“I think your show is quite a success.”
“Yeah, I guess people like my work.”
“Now let me ask this, Zac. When you invited Lauryn did she know it was your show? Or was it like me and you weren’t going to tell her?”
“No, I told her it was mine,” he said.
“And she still didn’t go! That is so rude!”
“Well she said she didn’t like art at all—whether it was mine or anyone else’s.”
“She still should have at least showed up with you. I mean she’s your girlfriend. She should be here at your exposition.”
“Yeah, but I knew you would like it more. And I did not want to spend my night with someone who would look at my work and in her most annoying voice say ‘I don’t get it.' I know she would and then whine because she wanted to go home.”
“Do I sense a bit or resentment?” I asked.
“No. Your painting is right around the corner here.” Now I had never actually seen any of Zac’s work before. I never even knew he was a painter! But he was obviously good, or he wouldn’t have the show.
We turned the corner. A crowd was gathered around the painting, and they applauded Zac when they noticed him there. I saw Zac go a slight shade of red. He was used to the screams, the faints, the crying and the I love you’s, but he had no idea how to respond to a humble applause and the appreciation of five or six stuck-up art critics.
“Thank you,” he said. One of the people seemed to recognize me. I still hadn’t seen the painting, and I was getting a bit impatient.
“You’re the girl from the painting!” she said. “You’re Nic!”
“Yes, I am. My name is Nicole King, I’m a good friend of Mr. Hanson’s.” I saw Zac grin as I used the name everyone else used. “But I actually have yet to see the painting, so if you don’t mind moving, please,” I said, as sweetly as I could.
“Oh yes, by all means. The people moved out of the way. My eyes fell on the canvas painting. It was perfect. I don’t know how Zac knew I’d done this, but I do recall being in the same position the day I left the hotel a year ago to go home.
It was me, sitting in the cab. I had my hands in my hair and my face was visible, turned toward the viewer. Pieces of my hair fell over my shoulders and wisps were in my face. Everything was exact, down to the tears in my eyes and the few on my face. The cab was just like all cabs, down to a ripped seat and gum on the carpet. The thing that startled me the most was out the back window. I could see the very hotel we’d stayed at ad the same scenery behind it. And standing in front of the hotel was Zac. The pain on his face was unmistakable. Even though he was a small part of the canvas, I could see the hurt in his eyes.
He’d gotten everything perfect. He’d drawn exactly what I was wearing and how I was wearing it. I remember I’d had my left show untied (Isaac untied it just to bug me and I’d never tied it back). I looked at the painting. My left shoelace was untied.
“Zac, how did you—”
“Don’t ask.”
“So, Mr. Hanson, what will you take for this piece of art?” one man asked. “It certainly is exquisite.”
“I’m afraid this one isn’t for sale.”
“I’ll give you twenty cents and a kiss on the cheek,” I joked.
“Sold!” he said. Everyone else gave each other questioning looks. “She ruined the surprise. I was going to announce that I was giving it to her.”
“Zac, I was just joking,” I said.
“I still was going to give it to you anyway,” he said. “Now I’ll spare you the twenty cents, but you still owe me a kiss on the cheek.”
“Ugh, fine.” I kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Zac looked over to someone in the small crowd. “Mike, come over here.” The man walked over. “Mike will show you the other paintings. I have to make a speech.”
“Oh, poor Zac.”
“I’ll see you in a little bit.” He kissed my cheek and Mike led me away.