The next day when Angela arrived in Taylor's room he was in there already, pacing. He felt her immediately. "Oh, you're here. Thank God," he said. "Zac's been hounding me all day. He's afraid I'm going to do something to myself. He keeps knocking every five minutes and he's been asking how I managed to get my eye to look better, but I have nothing to tell him."
"I'm here now," she said, putting her arms around him in a tight hug. His tense body eased at her touch and he put his arms around her, feeling her head against his chest. He thought it was affection but she was listening to his heartbeat. It was racing. "Calm down." His heartbeat slowed to a perfect, serene rate, as did his rapid breathing. "It's okay," she told him. "You're okay. You don't need those pills."
"�I promised myself I'd do it today," he said, opening his clenched first and dropping about fifteen of his sleeping pills onto the floor. "I just couldn't take them. I couldn't do it." He let go of her and sat on his bed, putting his head in his hands. He took in a shaky breath. "I'm so sorry, Angel."
"Don't apologize to me," she said, kneeling in front of him. He dropped his hands, looking away with tears in his eyes. "You didn't do anything. You knew you couldn't do it. You are getting better. The next step is to tell your parents." He nodded. "It's going to be hard, Taylor, and there are times when you're going to feel like you need this, but you don't. It's not the answer. That's why I'm here." She stood. "I wish I could just kiss your forehead and make it all better again, but I can't. I don't have that kind of power." She kissed his forehead anyway.
"Can we tell them now?" he asked.
"Sure, Taylor." She took his hands and pulled him up off the bed. He put his arm around her shoulders as they walked to the door. He unlocked it and opened it. As they stepped outside the room he dropped his hands down to his sides, letting her hold him as they went downstairs.
They found his mother in the kitchen. "Hey, Mom," he said. She looked back at him.
"Taylor! Hi! I hardly ever see you anymore," she said, a smile on her face. "What's up?"
"Um�is Dad home?" She nodded. "Can I talk to the both of you?"
"Well, I'm kind of in the middle of making dinner�"
"It's important." She stopped immediately.
"Okay, dear. Let me get your father." Taylor sat down, Angela running her hands over his face to try to calm him down, but even she was nervous. When Diana returned, Taylor's father Walker was with her, and they sat down opposite him at the table. Angela's hands rested on his shoulders, and he reached up to one, placing his hand on top of hers. Let me feel you, he told her. She did and he relaxed. "So, what is it you want to talk to us about?" Diana asked.
"I�I don't know exactly how to say this," he started. "You've probably noticed how secluded I've been lately."
"Yes, we have," Walker said. "You haven't been coming to meals, you're shirking work, you've been fighting with your brothers�"
"Don't lecture me, just listen," Taylor firmly said. "It doesn't make it easier. In fact, it just makes me want to be alone even more. There's a reason behind all of that. I'm not myself anymore and I haven't been in a very long time. I actually can't even remember the last time I was myself."
"Is there something wrong with your shoulder, dear?" Diana interrupted. Taylor glanced at his shoulder and immediately dropped his hand. Angela put her arms around his neck and put her head next to his, much like she'd done the previous day.
"No," he said. "Anyway, this has gotten to the point where I've gotten really depressed. I came down here to tell you that a year ago today I, um, I tried to kill myself." Diana gasped and Walker shook his head. Angel, help me, he said. She kissed his cheek and he got a little braver, although she could feel him shaking and could see the tears in his eyes. "Zac stopped me. We fought about it, a lot, and that's why we've been so edgy around each other. We stopped fighting about that, so all our pent up anger just went into other things, little things, and before we knew it anything could set us off."
"What did we do wrong, Taylor?" Diana asked. She was crying.
"No, Mom, it was nothing you guys did. It was me, all of it was me. You didn't know," he said. "And it's bad lately, I've even told myself that I was going to try again, but I can't do it. I know better than that, now."
"You need to get some help, Taylor," Walker said. "We can send you to a psychiatrist�" Taylor shook his head.
"No, no," he said. "I'm getting help already." He leaned his head against Angela's. "I'm getting good help."
"From who?" Taylor paused, caught a bit off guard.
"From God." Diana and Walker exchanged a look.
"Taylor, you're going to need more than that," Walker said. "God can't cure your depression. You need a therapist."
"We'll do whatever it takes," Diana added. "Whatever it takes to see you get better."
"But Mom, Dad, I am getting better. I'm admitting this to you, aren't I? You don't understand what it was like before, but I'm getting my help and I am getting better. I would have never left my room if it hadn't been for�if I hadn't believed."
"I'm going to help them understand," Angela whispered. "I'll be right across the table, okay?" Okay. She kissed him again and walked around the table to where his parents were sitting, still skeptical. She put a comforting, informative hand on the shoulder of both parents. Diana's tears dried and Walker's stiffness lessened; he accepted Angela's presence more than Diana did.
"Do you think you'll be able to get better, just by this divine intervention, so-to-speak?" Walker asked. Taylor nodded. Walker turned his head to his wife. "Di, I believe him." She nodded.
"All right, Taylor," Diana said. "It's against my better judgment, but my instinct is telling me to go with this and I always trust my instincts. We'll both be watching you, constantly, and if you're not getting better then it's straight to the therapist for you, all right?"
"All right," Taylor said. "Thank you." Angel?
"I'm here." She put her arms around him again. "I'm here."
"I'm�I'm gonna go watch TV or something," Taylor said, and got up. Angela held onto him as she followed him into the living room, where he sat down on the couch with her in his lap. It wasn't long before Zo� came running into the room.
"Taylor!" she said. Taylor smiled at her.
"Hey kiddo."
"Whys you got Angel in your lap?" she asked. Angela laughed a little; if the sentence had come out of Taylor he would have gotten beat for trying to sound ghetto, but coming from a three-year-old, it sounded just like little kid speech.
"She's keeping me company," Taylor said. "How do you know her?"
"Duh," Zo� said, rolling her beautiful blue eyes. For a toddler, she had a lot of attitude. "She's Angel�"
"Honey, be quiet about it, okay?" Angela asked. She got off Taylor's lap. "Come on, there's plenty of room for you too." Zo� climbed up on the couch, sat on Taylor's lap, and looked up at Angela.
"Angel, you're pretty," Zo� said, although it sounded more like "pwetty" coming from her mouth. "Taylor, she's pretty." Taylor looked over at Angela.
"Is she really?"
"Yeah! Don't you think she's pretty?"
"Baby doll," Angela said, "Taylor can't see me."
"Why?" Angela kissed her forehead, letting her know exactly why. Zo� nodded and looked at the television, her question being answered. Did you tell her? Taylor asked. "Yes," Angela whispered. Thank you so much for being in there with me. I wouldn't have gotten through it without you. She took his hand and let him feel it. "Oh, by the way, I got a cell phone today."
"You'll have to give me the number," he said.
"Yes, I will. It'll be good for you to be able to contact me during the day. I can only be here when I'm asleep, you know." He nodded. "But of course that might ruin the illusion that I'm just a saving grace."
"I never thought you were just a saving grace." She smiled.
It was the next day while the movers where putting in the furniture at Angela's old home (bought back from the state for a cool five million) that Taylor called. She knew it was him before the phone even rang. While watching her new bed being installed in her room, she picked up the phone and put it to her ear.
"Hello?" she said, knowing full well who was on the other side of the line.
"Angel?" he asked.
"Yes, it's me," she told him.
"You sound different on the phone," he told her.
"Well, what can I say? I don't have my airy angel nature right now," she said, winking at one of the movers who gave her a quizzical look. "So what's up?" She looked at her watch; it was about noon over there.
"I'm on lunch," he said, "and I figured I should try out your number, you know, make sure it was real and everything." She smiled. "It's kind of weird talking to you without being able to feel you."
"It's weird talking to you without being able to see you," she said. "But, you know, we might as well catch up with technology. It is the twenty-first century now." He laughed. That was good to hear from him. She walked into the bathroom and shut the door. She sat down on the floor and closed her eyes. "There we go�"
"What?"
"I can see you now."
"What?!"
"I can see you. You're sitting by yourself in the studio with a cup of coffee. That's not a very good lunch, Taylor."
"Everybody else went out."
"And you stayed behind?"
"Well�yeah."
"Why?"
"There was work that needed to be done." She shook her head; he was lying to her. It was easier to do when she was in her human state. "And I didn't want to go with them. I just wanted to be alone."
"Taylor, you're going to have to rejoin society sometime," she told him. "You can't be alone all the time."
"But I'm not alone," he said. "You're here."
"I'm not always going to be there, Taylor," she said. "These are your friends; your family! They know you better than anybody in the world. I'm just a stranger."
"You're not a stranger, Angel."
"Yes I am," she said. "You don't even know me." What he did know about her was too much information already. "Ew, Taylor, not while I'm watching!"
"I had an itch!" he said. "And if you don't like it, then stop watching! It's uncomfortable when I can't feel you here." She opened her eyes.
"All right."
"And you're not a stranger, Angel."
"Yes I am," Angela repeated.
"Would I tell a complete stranger my deepest and darkest secrets? I don't think so. So I don't know a lot about you. You don't spent four nights with someone and not learn a thing or two about who they are, and that's really all that matters, isn't it? Who you really are?"
"Hey, Taylor, who the hell are you talking to?"
"Angel. Angel-a. Angela."
"Who's Angela?"
"My�friend." Angela closed her eyes and saw Zac give Taylor a very skeptical look.
"Your friend? She's not your girlfriend?" Zac stressed. Taylor gave him a look.
"No."
"Good, because it takes you three tries to get her name right," Zac said and walked off. "Well, get off the phone, we've got to start up again."
"Fine. Angel, I gotta go," Taylor said, spawning another curious look from Zac. He lowered his voice. "I'll see you tonight, then?"
"Yeah, I'll be there," Angela said, smiling. "Make sure you clear that up with Zac, he's listening and he's going to expect you to go out tonight."
"Oh, whatever," Taylor said. "See you later."
"Bye, Taylor." She hung up the phone and walked back outside, looking around at her room. The movers had finished in here and she collapsed onto her unmade bed. It was so comfortable as she forced herself to touch it. All of her beds were comfortable, though; she could sleep on concrete and be comfortable because she never actually touched the ground.
"Angela," her mother said, walking into the room, "I need your help downstairs. I don't remember which room we made the dining room." Angela got up and followed her mother downstairs. They had decided already that they wanted to make the house look exactly the same as when they left it, and the two of them were having a hard time remembering where everything belonged. There were places in the house Angela had never even been before because it was so big.
"I think it was this room," Angela said, walking into an empty room. She looked around. "Yeah, it was this room." Angela giggled. "I can honestly say I never thought I'd see this house again."
"Me neither." Angela looked around; her wish definitely had come true.