Angela arrived in Taylor's bedroom again that night, excited for her next adventure. This time, when she arrived Taylor was already in the room and sensed her presence immediately. He looked over in her general direction, although he had no idea what he was looking for. He only knew she was there on a subconscious level. He had no physical realization that she was present.
He was sitting at his desk, playing a game of solitaire on his computer. She walked over and sat herself on the desk; she didn't have to worry if it would support her or not because she wasn't actually sitting on it. He turned back to his game and played, frustrated. He didn't go to the studio today. She knew that the moment she appeared. He stayed home, faking sick, so he wouldn't have to deal with his family. She knew already that he'd spent the entire day in his room sleeping and thinking of ways to end his life.
She had no idea why he wanted to end his life. She knew what made him depressed and what made him fight with his family all of the time, but she had no idea why he would be thinking of death so often. She could read most of his thoughts (the thoughts he would allow her to read) and the subject of death had come up a number of times the few moments she'd been sitting next to him, reading him.
She wanted to talk him through this to find out what his troubles were. He was blocking her from seeing the inside problem, mostly because he didn't even know what his inside problem was. Silently sighing, she ran her hand over his hair, not touching him, to calm him and let him know she was there for him. He yanked his head away. He wasn't going to let her calm him today.
She tried again to calm him, using both hands this time, but he got up and walked over to the bed, where he plopped himself face down and put his pillow over his head. She nearly groaned at his blatant insult of her presence, and turned to the door to the bathroom, which was open. She couldn't leave the room through his door because he would notice if she opened the door to leave. Once in the bathroom, she slipped quietly into the next room and out into the hallway, where she began to explore the house.
The upstairs was like she'd expected; a number of closed doors that led to bedrooms that belonged to the kids in the family. She knew Taylor's parents had their bedroom downstairs, which allowed more rooms to be cleared upstairs for their numerous children. Padding down the hall, she reached the stairs and bounced downstairs. Zac was sitting in the living room watching television. Angela jumped at the opportunity to read him and started into the room. However, she was no more than a foot in when she ran back to the hallway and hid herself behind a wall. Zac's little sister was on his lap and she looked to be no more than three or four years old.
"Shit," Angela breathed. She peered around the wall, hoping the little girl would run off to do something else, but so far she looked completely happy sitting in her big brother's lap. Angela waited patiently, throwing thoughts into the little girl's mind about other toys that Angela read in her room, but the girl didn't seem to be catching on.
Angela ducked further behind the wall when the girl suddenly stood up and latched her arms around Zac's neck, giving him a spontaneous hug. It was so adorable Angela wanted to cry, but upon remembering the feud between Zac and Taylor, that thought quickly left her mind. The girl, looking past her brother, saw Angela in the hallway and waved excitedly.
"Who're you waving to, Zo?" Zac asked, turning around to see who was in the hallway. He couldn't see Angela.
"It's Angel�"
"No! I'm not here, honey," Angela said, then put her finger to her lips. "Ignore me." The girl nodded and sat back down, not answering Zac's question. Angela let out a sigh of relief. The girl suddenly got off the couch and ran away, finally taking Angela's hint. Angela took this opportunity to check around for any other little kids, then ran over to the couch and sat down next to Zac, who had no idea she was there.
He was an October boy, but unlike Taylor, he didn't live up to his birth date. That sometimes happened. His sign was balance, but he did everything but balance things out. Although he didn't show it, his family was important to him but somewhere along the lines he'd lost total respect for his older brother Taylor. This fight between them had been going on for months, even close to a year now, and Zac was obviously exhausted from it, but would rather die than take the initiative to stop it.
Taylor came bounding down the stairs, subconsciously looking for Angela, who had been gone for nearly fifteen minutes now. Angela got up and walked over to him in the hallway. Zac didn't turn around to see who it was, too absorbed in his television show to care who was behind him. Taylor, looking around, was trying to figure out why he came downstairs until Angela ran her hand over his face and led him back up the stairs to his room.
When they got back in his room, Taylor sighed and looked at a photo on his dresser of him and Zac. Angela stood beside him, her hand hovering over his back. "You're such a bastard, Taylor," Taylor said to himself. Angela sighed. That wasn't true and Taylor knew that. She moved her hand to his head but he pulled away with a breath that sounded like "Stop it." She huffed, crossing her arms, and he turned around, confused. She put her hand over her mouth immediately, not taking a breath until he had turned around again.
It was about ten minutes later when Taylor was called for dinner. It was his mother this time. She was outside his door, asking him to come down to dinner. He didn't respond. "Taylor," she said. "I know you're in there. Come down for dinner. You haven't seen your sisters in a while and they miss you. They want to see you. Zac and Isaac have been downstairs to see them today but you haven't."
Well isn't that peachy king for Zac and Isaac, Angela heard Taylor think. He had excluded himself again today for the entire day and Angela wished she didn't have to be at home during the day to miss that. She could help him better if she knew what he did all day instead of recapping at night. She could do something for him instead of just relaxing him with her hands. She didn't seem to be doing anything for him by staying silent all the time.
"Taylor, we're worried about you," his mother was saying. "Are you okay? Do you need to talk to someone?"
"I'm fine, Mom, and I'm not hungry!"
"Taylor, I haven't seen you eat anything for two months now, and your father said you hadn't been coming down to dinner at all lately. I know you're having problems with Zac and all, but�"
"It's not Zac!" Taylor yelled. "Zac doesn't matter! Just leave me alone!" Angela looked at Taylor. It wasn't Zac. Zac was just a scapegoat for all of the problems he had been having. If his parents were concerned, he could blame it on Zac and they would think the fights were getting to him. Angela knew better. Angela knew, now, about the things Taylor was hiding from his family. She knew about the knife he kept in one of the drawers that he was still mustering up the courage to use. She knew about the notes he wrote daily explaining his suicide that he kept burning because he was afraid that someone might find them if he just threw them away in the trash can. She knew he'd been contemplating this for almost a month now and he was getting to the point where he couldn't run away from it anymore.
His mother left and Taylor sat up, eyeing the drawer that his knife was hidden in. Angela's hand pushed his head the other way, but his eyes only caught the calendar. A date was circled; it was three days away. "Three more days to go," he whispered. "Three more days and I'm out of here." So that was it. Angela had three days to turn his life around before he killed himself.
"Taylor! Get your ass downstairs, Mom's having a conniption," someone yelled from outside Taylor's door. Taylor looked over to the closed door and his eyes narrowed.
"Go away, Zac. Don't ever talk to me again."
"Taylor, I know what you're doing. You're scaring the shit out of our parents and frankly you're scaring me too. I know the eighth is coming up and if you even think about doing what I think you're going to do, I'm going to tell them about it." Taylor got up and opened the door with lightning speed.
"Don't you even think about it, you little prick. You have been nothing but a pain in my side for an entire year now. I don't want to deal with you anymore! I don't want to deal with any of this anymore! I don't know what the hell you think you're doing, coming up here�"
"Taylor, I know what you're going to do. Don't think I can't see that you even circled the date on your calendar, because I've seen it. You're crying out for help but you're not letting anybody help you! I'm trying to help you."
"All you're doing is getting in the way."
"Don't think just because we've been fighting about nonsense lately that I don't know what's going on. I know you're trying to kill yourself again." Taylor looked around.
"That's crazy," Taylor said, his voice quivering in fear that someone might have heard.
"My ass."
"You don't know what you're talking about, Zac. Just go downstairs like the good kid you are and try to be the good older brother." Taylor slammed the door in Zac's face and turned around. He let out a silent breath, closing his eyes. Taylor took a few breaths then headed over to the dresser and pulled out the knife. He looked back at his door, then to the door to the bathroom, and locked both of them. Then he sat down and ran the knife over his index finger. It split open and began to bleed; the knife was as sharp as anything.
Angela stood, watching, in complete shock. She had no idea what to do. She wasn't sure if he was going to do it or not, but she didn't want to take any chances. With a thought, the knife was out of his hand and across the room. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Taylor froze, looking around, his eyes wide in search of the owner of the voice. I'm going crazy, he thought. Angela sat down in front of him and took his hand, the one he hadn't cut.
"No," she said. "No, you're not going crazy. Taylor, my name is Angela and I live in Atlantic City. I was sent here to protect you. I'm here to stop you from doing this to yourself."
"What's going on?" he asked. The panic in his voice was evident. He could feel her touch and could hear her voice, but he couldn't see her. He sincerely thought he was going crazy.
"Taylor, I don't know how to explain it to you. I'm here to help you. You know I've been here; you could feel it. I'm real, you just can't see me." She brought his hand up to her cheek. "I'm here."
"I don't understand." She knew he wouldn't.
"Taylor, you know you wanted help. You didn't know where to look for it. I came here to help you get out of this�whatever it is that's making you want to kill yourself. I'm an Earthbound Angel. There are thousands of us in the world, sent out on missions to help people, people like you, when they need it most. You need it right now and that's why I'm here. I'll stay here until you're better." He shook his head, closing his eyes. "I know it's hard to fathom, but in time you'll understand. For right now you just have to believe."
"All right," he whispered, nodding.
"I'll take care of this for you," she said, taking his other hand. She kissed the bleeding cut on his finger and it healed. Taylor watched, amazed. She let go of his hand, now no longer touching him, and he began to panic.
"Whoa, where'd you go?" he asked. She took his hand again. "How'd you do that?"
"The same way I'm here and you can't see me," she said. "It's just a little miracle." Taylor sighed. "Listen to me, I'm going to be right here for you when you need me. I get here when you come home from the studio and I'm here all night."
"What about the rest of the time?" he asked. He was looking straight in her eyes although he didn't even know it.
"I'm seventeen years old, Taylor, I have to go to school."
"You're younger than me?!" She smiled.
"Yeah, I am," she told him. "Does that make a difference?" He shook his head. "Are you going to go downstairs for dinner?"
"No."
"Taylor�" She ran her hand over his face and his eyes closed, welcoming the kindness. "They're worried about you." He shook his head, but she was still guiding him so at least he was listening to her. "They just want to know you're okay. You don't have to be okay, you just have to fake it a little while for them."
"Angel�"
"Please?"
"All right. But you're coming with me." He stood up, his hand still in hers, and went out the door. She followed him down the stairs to the dining room, where most of the family was. Angela recognized the little girl and put her finger to her lips again. She nodded and went back to her food. Taylor sat down and Angela stood behind him, her hands on his shoulders.
"Taylor! Nice of you to join us," Diana, Taylor's mother said, glancing over at her son. "There's plenty left, help yourself."
"Where's Jess?" Taylor asked, looking over to an empty seat across the table. Angela looked over as well. All the seats were taken except for the one where she assumed Jess would normally sit.
"She's out with her friends tonight," Diana said. "You would have seen here if you were down here earlier; she just left about a half hour ago." Taylor didn't say anything. The only reason he was down there was to please Angela and she knew it. He didn't want to be there, but it was good for him to be with his family.
"Yeah, Taylor, you'd see a lot of things if you weren't locked up in your room all day," Zac said from across the table, giving his brother a look.
"Shut up."
"Be nice, Taylor," Diana warned. Taylor huffed and reached up to his shoulder, gripping Angela's hand for support.
"It's okay," she whispered in his ear. "Eat your dinner, smile, and then we'll go back upstairs." He did what he was told, but ignored his family (which didn't make Angela happy) before going upstairs quietly. She followed him up the stairs and into his room, although they didn't have any contact when she went inside.
"Angel?"
"Yeah, I'm here," she said. He closed the door. "Can I ask you something?" He nodded, walking over to the bed. He plopped down on it. "Why are you and Zac fighting?"
"I don't want to talk about that right now."
"All right." She walked over and sat down on the bed next to him.
"Can I ask you a question?" he asked, feeling her comforting hand rub his back.
"Sure."
"Can the rest of my family hear you?"
"No, they can't," she said. "Just you. Your little sister Zo� can hear me, but that's just because she's a little girl. Little kids can see and hear Angels of all kinds; they just don't know it. She's very blessed for getting to see one."
"So if anybody happens to pass by my room they'll think I'm talking to myself?" Taylor asked, looking back in her general direction.
"Yeah," she said, grinning a bit. "But it's nothing like that. You don't have to worry. I'm a real person; I just don't seem very real right now. I have a phone number, I have an address�What? Why are you shaking your head?"
"This is just too much."
"It'll be okay," she told him, putting her comforting hand on the side of his face. "I know it's weird now, but you knew I was here, didn't you?" He looked directly at her and nodded. "You just have to get used to me."
"How long are you staying?"
"Until I am sure you're one hundred percent better." He sighed and fell back on the bed. "Do you want me to put you to sleep? You look exhausted."
"I am." She moved over, swirling her hands over his face. Before long, his eyes fluttered and he fell asleep.