Cookies & Ice Cream

Chapter Nine

(Much Later that evening, at Dot.Com)

Belle sat in her usual booth at Dot.Com alone, while Chloe was at the counter buying drinks for both of the. She decided to take her few minutes alone to check e-mail on the computer in front of her. She had been out shopping for accessories to wear to the dance, and hadn't been home yet to check for new messages.

She typed her password in and waited for her mailbox to load. There was only one new message and Belle stared at the line of text in front of her in surprise.

"From: [email protected] Subject: Please don't delete this."

Belle hesitated to open it. She had begged Shawn not to speak to her or try to see her, but apparently she had not specified e-mails, letters and packages in the mail. Belle cringed slightly and took a deep breath in. She exhaled slowly and bit her bottom lip as she clicked on the e-mail to open it.

"To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Please don't delete this.

Belle,

If you have made it this far without automatically throwing this e-mail in the trash, thank you for giving me the chance.

I know that no matter what I do or say, I can never erase the hurt that I have caused you. I could tell you how sorry I am every day for the rest of your life, and it would not change what happened. But please know, that I am sorry, and I know how selfish and immature and disrespectful that I have been. Nothing hurts me more than knowing how much pain you are in. I made some terrible mistakes, and it hurt the person that I love more than anything. I never meant for it to turn out like this, and I will never be able to forgive myself for what I did to you.

Part of me wishes that I could go back in time and change everything that happened over the past few months. But, part of me knows that these things happen for a reason. Being apart from you has only made me realize that I don't want to live my life without you in it. Maybe you will be able to move on with your life, and I hope that you can be happy. But, I can't do that. There is only one thing that will make me happy, and that's you. Because of my lies, I am being punished by having the most amazing person I have ever known taken away from me.

I don't expect you to forgive me, and I certainly don't expect you to forget what I have done. I don't know how I can ever prove to you that you can trust me again. I can only say that I would rather die than hurt you again. Your happiness is more important to me than my own life. I don't expect anything from you at all. I just want you to remember that I will always love you, and I will always be here for you. Even if you just need me as a friend and nothing more, I will be there.

A good friend gave me some advice today. They told me that if I love you, and I need you, then I should never give up. And, I won't. If I have to live the rest of my life, without you ever saying another word to me, there will always be a place for you in my life. If you can ever find it inside you to trust me, love me and forgive me, I will be waiting for you.

All my Love,
Shawn"

Belle felt like she had been glued to her seat. Her heart was beating strangely, and she felt a large lump traveling from her stomach to her throat. She knew her hands were shaking nervously and she tried to calm herself down. Deep down, she wanted to just abandon all of the pain she was feeling and run to Shawn's waiting arms. But her fear always kept her frozen in place. She was afraid of being hurt by him again, knowing that she could never recover if he broke her heart again.

Chloe slid into the booth across from her and passed a cup of coffee across the table to her. Belle kept the e-mail on the screen in front of her, and didn't even notice Chloe's arrival until she spoke.

"Belle... Are you all right? You kind of look like you've seen a ghost."

Belle shook her head and quickly closed her mailbox. "I'm fine, Chloe... Just fine."

Chloe raised one eyebrow skeptically. "Are you sure? Whatever it is, you can tell me..."

"I... I know, and it's nothing. It's no big deal."

Chloe nodded and changed subjects, even though she certainly didn't believe that whatever Belle had been reading was no big deal. "So, did you get everything you need for the dance?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to get a new pair of earrings to match my dress, and a pair of shoes... All done. Thanks for meeting me here by the way."

"No problem. Believe me, I had nothing else to do. I'm glad you called, I was craving an iced mocha anyway."

Belle smiled happily and took a sip of her own coffee. "I know that it's not a good thing to be this addicted to caffeine, but oh well... We're young, we can handle it."

Chloe laughed and nodded in agreement. "Hey... There are worse addictions you could have, that's for sure."

"Chloe... I wanted you ask you something. About today... Earlier, when you went past Phillip and me in the hallway. You looked kind of... I don't know... weird. What was going on?"

Chloe sunk down in her seat and stammered nervously. "I... I saw Shawn, and I wanted to see how he's doing, so I followed him outside... And, I know that you probably don't want to talk about it, but..."

Belle interrupted her before she could finish. "You're right. I don't. I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay... I respect that. I do. I'm sorry."

There was an awkward silence in the air between them that lasted for a few minutes. Each girl silently sipped her drink until Chloe spotted Brady coming through the front door. Brady caught Chloe's gaze and she happily waved him over to their table. He motioned for Chloe to scoot over and sat in the booth next to her.

"Hey, if it isn't my two favorite girls..."

Belle grinned at her brother and replied. "We would prefer to be called women, please."

Brady jokingly gasped, as if he had been insulted. "Well, pardon me then. I can't help it if I don't want to face the fact that you two are going to be out of high school and several hundred miles away in just a few short months."

Chloe nudged him with her elbow. "Yeah, Brady... You're going to have to get a life once we're gone."

"I don't have time for a life, I'm always taking care of you two."

"Come on... Get real. Belle and I are perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves."

"Yeah right... That's why I'm always coming to your rescue."

Belle pouted at her brother and gently kicked his foot under the table. "That's not true... I mean, sometimes it's true... But not always."

"I know that. But, it makes me feel better if I'm useful to you."

Chloe looked at him curiously and inquired. "So, what have you been up to tonight?"

Brady hesitated in his reply for a moment. "I... I sort of had a date."

Chloe's eyes widened and she felt like the earth was going to open up and swallow her whole. "You... You... You had a WHAT?"

"A date, Chloe. D-A-T-E. You know, two people mutually agree on a time and location, and sometimes there is dinner involved."

"Yes, Brady... I know what a date is. I just didn't know that you ever went on them. You certainly haven't in the time that I've known you."

Brady shrugged nonchalantly. "Well, it's like you said... I have to get a life, so that's what I'm trying to do. I'm sorry that I didn't clear it with you first."

"You don't have to ask my permission. I was just... I..." Chloe paused and then shook her head. She plastered on a fake smile and continued. "Never mind... I'm glad if you're glad."

Belle checked her watch and looked at Brady suspiciously. "Must have been a real humdinger of a date too... You're here at Dot.Com with us by eight o'clock. Wow, the excitement, the thrills, the romance... That's my brother."

Brady shifted in his seat nervously. "Well... I didn't actually GO on the date."

Chloe's eyebrows raised in surprise. "You didn't go? You stood her up?"

"No, she stood ME up."

"She sounds like a real winner, Brady. Can't even be bothered to show up for a date."

Brady shook his head. "It's no big deal, she had a family thing that she had to deal with... I'm kind of relieved, actually."

Belle frowned at her brother slightly. "You are? Did you need your evening free to scrub your bathroom or something?"

"No, I just... Dating has never been something I'm comfortable with. All of the pointless small talk, the phoniness of it all. I just hate watching women attempt to impress me, when they should just try and be themselves."

Chloe's mood shifted and she grinned happily. "I guess that right there explains why you don't get many dates."

Brady rolled his eyes and continued. "Well, yes, it probably does. But, it's true. The best relationships are the ones that are based on something else, something that exists beyond all of the superficiality and shallowness. Most relationships start based on physical attraction, and that's stupid. I'd rather get to know someone for who they are on the inside before I start to think about how good they look in their underwear."

Belle laughed loudly at her brother and nodded. "That all sounds good... But, if you really feel that way... Why would you ask her out in the first place?"

"I didn't. She asked me."

Chloe's eyes widened a little. "Wow. Aggressive AND flaky. What a woman. Where ever did you find her?"

"At work. Her name is Amanda and she works in the mailroom. She seems nice enough, I guess. But, I probably should have said no. I just didn't want to be rude."

Belle nearly choked on her coffee and laughed at Brady again. "Oh Brady, stop that... My drink is going to come out of my nose if you continue."

"What did I say?"

"Brady... When have you ever let being rude get in your way? You've never had a problem saying 'no' to someone."

Chloe nodded in agreement. "She's right. You've never worried about being rude to people before. Why start now?"

Brady's face contorted to a glance of an insulted person. "Hey... I'm different now. I am a much kinder and gentler person than I used to be. I'm not nearly as mean to you as I used to be, Chloe."

"Oh yes, well that's a relief... Thank you for that. I can't say that I miss my daily dose of ill will."

Belle nodded and pointed at her brother. "That's true. Plus, you're getting along with my mom better than ever now. It's almost scary how nice you are. Are you sure you're not a pod person or something?"

Brady chuckled and crossed his heart with one finger. "I swear, I'm still me. I just got the chip knocked off of my shoulder, that's all. So, anyway, she wants to reschedule for tomorrow night..."

Before Brady could finish, Chloe playfully slapped him on the arm and gasped. "Brady... You can't. Not tomorrow."

Brady rubbed his arm with one hand and pouted at Chloe. "Owwwwww... What's with all the physical violence all of a sudden?"

"Don't be a wuss, I didn't hit you that hard. And anyway, you can't go out with your mailroom girl tomorrow... You have plans with me, remember?"

"I thought you said tomorrow night wasn't a big deal. I figured you'd be grateful for the chance to have your 'alone' time back."

"I..." Chloe paused before continuing. She took a breath in and frowned at him. Apparently her plans with Brady meant more to her than they did to him, and her disappointment was clearly visible on her face. "I guess... But... Go ahead and do whatever you want. You're right... It's no big deal. Have fun."

Brady's forehead wrinkled up with concern. "You're not acting like it's no big deal, that's plainly obvious."

Chloe tried to shrug it off and looked away. "Whatever, Brady. I don't care."

Belle glared at her brother angrily and crossed her arms. "Don't be such a jerk. It doesn't matter what kind of plans you two have for tomorrow, there is no good reason that should cancel. Especially for some girl you hardly even know."

Brady sighed deeply and nodded in agreement. He rested his hand gently on Chloe's arm and spoke to her. "Chloe... You should have let me finish before you hit me."

Chloe looked back at him and her eyebrows raised in curiosity. "Oh really? Why's that?"

"Because, I was going to say that she asked to reschedule for tomorrow night... BUT, I told her that I was unavailable tomorrow because I had something more important to do."

Chloe started to relax and a smile began to creep onto her lips. "You said that?"

Brady nodded and smiled sweetly at her. "Of course I did. I told her that I had very important plans with my best friend, and that takes priority over everything else. I was kidding about not thinking that tomorrow was a big deal."

Chloe's smile grew wider. "Thank you... I'm sorry I got all grumpy."

"It's alright... You do hit pretty hard for a girl though."

Chloe laughed softly. "I just don't know my own strength sometimes."

Belle smiled at both of them and decided to change subjects. "Well... Now that you two are friends again, and that's all settled... I think they're playing that new Matt Damon movie over at Salem Place. You want to check it out?"

Brady nodded affirmatively. "Sure... I'm up for it."

Chloe smiled and stood from the booth. "Yeah, sounds good. I'm going to go grab a CD that I've been wanting before we go."

Belle waved Chloe off and then immediately stared her brother down. "Nicely done, dear brother."

Brady smiled innocently at his little sister. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Trying to throw Chloe off the path by pissing her off? Making her think that you were oh so close to canceling your plans with her tomorrow?"

A sly grin crept across Brady's lips and he nodded in understanding. "Well, I have a big big night planned tomorrow... I just want it to be a huge surprise. Something special. Thanks for going along with it by the way."

Belle smiled and shrugged it off. "Anything for my big brother. Even if I don't understand what's going on... So, is it just me or do all of your plans sound a little... I don't know... Romantic?"

Brady reeled back in surprise and stammered out a reply. "Romantic? I... I don't know about that... It's just special. That's all. Isn't a guy allowed to do something nice for his female friend? Does it always have to be misconstrued as some romantic escapade?"

"Yeah, pretty much. But, if you say that you have no romantic intentions whatsoever towards Chloe, then... Well, I don't believe you, Brady. I know you care about her..."

"Of course I do. Other than you, she's the closest friend I have. I care a lot about Chloe."

Belle nodded and continued. "And she cares about you too. Maybe neither of you sees it, but I do. I know that you love her, Brady, and sooner or later you're going to have to say it out loud."

Brady shook his head. "I don't know what you're talking about. Really, I don't."

Belle sighed and slouched in her seat. She knew Brady was covering up his feelings for Chloe, and he had been doing so for a very long time. "Phillip is out of the picture now... They are both moving on with their lives. You don't have to hide the way you feel from Chloe any more. You certainly aren't hiding it very well from me."

"Belle, please... I don't..." Brady hesitated, and Belle could sense that there was something else going on in his head. "Can we change the subject please? I don't want to talk about this. Not right now and definitely not here."

"Alright, fine... But, I'm NOT going to let this go."

"Believe me... I know. You never give up on anything."

Belle tried to nod but her head suddenly felt heavy on top of her shoulders. Brady was right. She had never given up on anything in her life, at least not until now. Belle sighed as they waited in silence for Chloe to return. The words of Shawn's e-mail seemed to be constantly flashing before her eyes. He was not prepared to give up on her, although she had already given up on him.

Chloe returned moments later and the trio headed out the door and towards Salem place. Chloe and Brady chatted the entire way, as Belle was left with her own inner thoughts. Belle was left in confusion, not knowing if letting Shawn go was the strong thing to do or if fighting for their love was.

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