Cookies & Ice Cream
Chapter
Eight
(The Next Day. End of the School Day.)
Belle stared into the back of her locker, lost in it's darkness. She knew
exactly what she had hiding back there, and she couldn't bear to look at it
again. What was lying back there now used to be hanging on the inside of her
locker door; pictures of Shawn and a couple of short notes he had written to her
while bored in class. She had taken them down the day after she had found out
about Jan being pregnant, and hadn't looked at them since. As with everything
else in her life pertaining to Shawn, she had attempted to throw them in the
trash, but found it completely impossible.
Belle found the book she was looking for and threw it hastily into her backpack.
She slammed the locker door shut with a sigh and nearly jumped out of her skin
when she turned to walk away. Phillip was standing next to her with a grin
plastered on her face.
Belle gasped in shock and nearly dropped everything she was carrying. "Oh
my God, Phillip... You scared me half to death."
"Sorry... I didn't mean to. I've been watching you stare into your locker
for at least 2 minutes... Is there something interesting in there?"
Belle shook her head and averted her eyes. "No, not anymore anyway."
"So, you all ready for the big dance tomorrow?"
Belle nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, I am. Chloe's going to come over
tomorrow and help me figure out what to do with my hair, and assist me with the
accessorizing."
Phillip smiled and nodded. "Good... I'm really looking forward to it. More
than I thought I would. I was kind of dreading another Last Blast, but I'm
pretty sure this one will be alright."
"I think you may be right. Besides, the odds of another Last Blast
catastrophe are pretty slim. I'm looking forward to it too, actually. Everything
has been so bad lately, and I REALLY need a night out to just completely forget
about all my problems."
"Well, that is my goal for the evening. There will be no talking about our
personal problems tomorrow night... Only good things."
Belle smiled widely and nodded in agreement. "Right... No moping."
Phillip nodded and grinned slyly at her. "So, what's your dress look
like?"
"I can't tell you that, it's a surprise."
"A surprise? We're not getting married, Belle... We're just going to a high
school dance together. There is no bad luck involved."
Belle pouted slightly and playfully hit Phillip on the arm. "I know... But,
humor me, okay? I want to have a big entrance when you come pick me up, and I
can't do that if I describe the dress in all it's glory to you now."
Phillip laughed and rolled his eyes. "Alright, alright... Whatever will
make you happy. I'm just glad that you decided to go."
Belle smiled at him happily. "Well, I'm glad you asked."
***
(Across that same hallway, at the same time.)
Chloe exited the bathroom and turned towards the lockers, but she froze in her
tracks. She saw Belle and Phillip standing together at Belle's locker,
completely oblivious to the world around them. Phillip was laughing at whatever
Belle was telling him and Belle had a large smile on her face. But, that wasn't
what froze Chloe. Shawn was standing at the other end of the hallway, his pain
clearly written all over his face. He was staring at Belle and Phillip, and
completely motionless.
Chloe looked at him sadly, and for just a moment, he moved his eyes to catch her
gaze. When he noticed her looking at him, he quickly turned away and hurried
down the adjacent hallway, moving out of sight. Chloe sighed and moved down the
hallway, pausing for a moment when Belle caught her by the arm.
"Chloe... What's up? You look like you're in a hurry."
Chloe nodded but didn't look at Belle when she replied, she kept her gaze fixed
on the direction that Shawn had walked in. "I am. I can't explain right
now. I'll talk to you later..."
She walked away quickly, leaving Belle and Phillip in confusion. Chloe broke
into a jog when she reached the corner that Shawn had turned moments before. She
ran down the other hallway which ended in doors that led out to the parking lot
behind the gym.
Chloe pushed the doors open with force and saw Shawn leaning against the wall of
the building, looking towards the ground. She took a brief moment to catch her
breath and walked slowly towards him.
"Shawn... Are you okay?"
Shawn looked up at her and replied. "Do you care?"
Chloe sighed sadly and walked closer to him. "Of course I do. God, Shawn...
Things have been so screwed up, and I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you.
None of us have been, and that's wrong. I wish I had a good excuse, but there is
no excuse for it. I still care about you, and so does everyone else... it's just
been... awkward."
Shawn shrugged nonchalantly. "No, it makes sense. Belle is your best
friend, and I am the one at fault here, so I'm not surprised. You guys stood by
her, and she needed that."
"But we should have stood by you too. I'm not going to say that what you
did can be excused, because it can't. Everybody is angry, Shawn. You hurt Belle,
and when you hurt Belle, you hurt everyone who loves her too. But, still...
You've been my friend since I moved to Salem, and I should have been able to put
my anger aside long enough to see how you were doing. I'm really sorry..."
"Thank you. You're the first person besides my parents to ask me I was
okay."
Chloe raised her eyebrows expectantly. "Well... Are you?"
Shawn shifted his eyes from her gaze and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"And you are also lying through your teeth. I can see what you're feeling
all over your face... You don't need to lie to me. I'm here to listen."
"It's not important how I feel. I just want Belle to be okay... I want her
to be happy."
Chloe shook her head and laid one hand against the wall next to him.
"Belle's not okay, and she's never going to be okay. Not without you."
Shawn gave her a skeptical glance. "She looks fine to me. She doesn't want
me in her life anymore, so I'm not."
"I know, I know. She looks happy, and for the most part, she's fine... But,
she'll never be as happy as she could be... Not unless she has you. She won't
talk about it anymore, but I can see it in her eyes, just like I see it in
yours. You two belong with each other. It doesn't matter what's happened in the
past, because you can overcome it."
"I don't see how, Chloe. She doesn't want to speak to me or see me ever
again. She wants to forget about me, and I'm going to let her. If I try to talk
to her again, she's just going to hate me more. Nothing will ever be able to
erase what I've done to her."
Chloe sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "You're right... Nothing
will ever erase all of this. It doesn't matter how much you apologize, she's
never going to forget it, and you can't expect her to. But, you can't give up,
Shawn. You love Belle. I know you do. And, you will never stop loving her. And,
it's the same for her... She will always love you, no matter how much she tries
to deny it. You can't just let that go so easily. You have to fight for it
sometimes."
Tears begin to well up in Shawn's eyes, and the way he looked towards Chloe
nearly broke her heart. She knew Shawn was suffering more than words could
describe, she saw it written all over his face and his every movement.
Shawn spoke quietly, trying to push out the words and keep from losing his
composure. "I want to, Chloe. I want to fight for our love... But, I don't
know how. I don't even know where to start. I've already screwed everything up
once, and I don't want to do it again."
Chloe nodded in understanding. "Then don't. You made some rash decisions
about the whole Jan situation. You have to remember to look before you leap
sometimes. Think about what you're doing, and think about how it might affect
other people, before you do it. You made some mistakes, but you deserve a second
chance. Everybody deserves that at some point."
"I know that I screwed up. I have completely learned my lesson, and I swear
that I'm never going to act like a selfish idiot every again... But, I don't
think saying that is going to be enough for Belle. That is, if I can ever get
her to listen to anything that comes out of my mouth, ever again."
"You have to be persistent. If I've learned one thing from all of my
problems with Phillip, it's to be persistent..."
"Yes, because that worked so well for Phillip."
Chloe waved her hand at him dismissingly. "Oh, no, no, no... Take one cue
from Phillip, but not all of them. He may have been overly obsessive, but he
never gave up, and because of that, we gave our relationship more than enough
chances to work. It just so happened, that it didn't. But, it's different with
you and Belle..."
Shawn raised both of his eyebrows. "And how is that?"
"It's hard to explain, but I know that I'm right about you two. What
Phillip and I had, it was nice for awhile, but it never could match what you
share with Belle. If you two don't give it another chance, you're going to
regret it for the rest of your lives. You're always going to wonder what could
have been, and you owe it to yourself and to Belle to try again."
"After what I did... How can she ever trust me again?"
"She can. It may take a lot of time, but you need to be patient and
understanding. It's hard to trust someone again after they betray you, but it
can be done."
Shawn nodded slightly. "I just don't know where to begin, or what to do. I
don't want push her away even further."
Chloe sighed softly and frowned. "I know... And, I may not be the best
person to be handing out advice about this. But, then again... I am right. Don't
fade into the background. You have to let her know that you are always going to
love her, and you're always going to be there for her. You have to remind her of
what you used to have, what you still could have. I know it seems impossible,
because all Belle can think about right now is what you did to her, but
eventually, that will all fade away and she'll remember why you two were
together in the first place."
"You make it sound like it could be a long time from now before she
does."
"It might be. I don't know. Everybody heals at their own rate. It could be
next month, or it could be next year... I just don't know. But, don't ever give
up, because if you do... it will be the biggest mistake you could ever make. Not
everybody is lucky enough to have that kind of love in their life, not even for
a minute, you need to do everything you can to hold on to it."
Shawn paused to think for a moment. Maybe Chloe was right, and maybe he was
already unknowingly doing what she had told him. He had sent that drawing to
Belle on a whim, not realizing that it could very well help to remind her of
better times.
Shawn shook his thoughts away and smiled at Chloe. "You're right... Now,
tell me, how did you get to be so wise?"
Chloe laughed and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I wish... I may be able to stand
here and dole the advice out to you, but I can't fix my own screwy love life. I
must not be THAT wise, right?"
"Sometimes even the smartest people can't see what's right in front of
them."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Shawn grinned at her slyly. "It's Brady, isn't it?"
Chloe felt her jaw drop in shock and her eyes widened in surprised. "How
did you know?"
"I guess the same way that you seem to know everything about me and Belle.
You love him, don't you?"
Chloe shrugged slightly and looked towards the ground. "It's complicated,
Shawn... I know that I have feelings for Brady, and I have for a long time,
feelings that I've tried to deny... But, I can't deny them anymore. It's just...
I don't think he feels the same way for me."
Shawn raised his eyebrows skeptically, as if he knew something that she didn't.
"And how can be so sure of that?"
"It's Brady... He tells everybody exactly how he feels all the time,
whether they want to hear it or not. If he felt the same that I do, I think he
probably would have told me a while ago."
"Sure, that may be true about Brady in most cases... But, like you said,
it's complicated. He's probably afraid of the same things you are, that you may
not feel the same way. Plus, with everything that happened between you and
Phillip, he probably didn't want to interfere with all of that. Now's the
time... You need to tell him how you feel."
Chloe frowned at him and shrugged again. "I don't know. I have a hard
enough time sharing those kind of feelings with people... But, not knowing what
kind of response I'm going to get makes it even more frightening."
Shawn nodded in understanding and continued. "I don't think you have
anything to worry about... Even if Brady doesn't feel the same way, he's not the
type of person to just end your friendship. I know that you mean a lot to him,
no matter what."
Chloe smiled slightly and nodded. "Thank you... Thank you for that."
Shawn stood up straight and shook his head. "No... Thank YOU, Chloe. I
really appreciate what you're trying to do."
Chloe grinned and hugged Shawn tightly. "Shawn... I am going to do
everything in my power to help you and Belle. The two of you were the only
people that were nice to me when I first came to Salem, and the least I can do
is try to make you both happy. I owe you that much."
Chloe let go of him and Shawn smiled appreciatively. "You don't owe me
anything, but thank you anyway."
"Listen Shawn... I know that all of us have kind of ditched you, and I'm
sorry. You've been through a lot lately, and it's not fair that none of us have
stood by you. I just want you to know that I am here for you. If you ever need
anything, you can call me. I'm still your friend, okay?"
"That really means a lot to me... Thank you."
Chloe smiled happily and motioned towards the doors. "You're welcome... I
guess I'll talk to you later. Think about what I said, okay?"
Shawn nodded and grinned at her. "You too."
Chloe chuckled and turned to walk away. "You got it."
Chloe sighed softly as she walked away, leaving Shawn alone. She quietly
wondered if true love was worth all of the complications and heartache that
people experienced to have it. And in the same instant, she answered her own
question. Of course it was, she was just waiting to find that out from personal
experience.