February 5th
Kris�s POV
I�m sitting in the doctor�s office, scared shitless. I�ve only been here for an hour, but I know there�s something wrong. They took a urine sample, and did some tests, when they didn�t come back in twenty minutes, I knew there was something horribly wrong. I find myself thinking of Darren�s father. *could I have cancer? Can they figure that out from a simple urine test? What if I�m dying?* I don�t want to die. The blunt force of the precarious situation I�m currently in is making me more sick to my stomach than ever. I look at my watch, I�ve been here for an hour and 23 minutes, and each minute is a taste of hell. I mean shit�if I am dying, how will I tell Darren? How can I leave him like that? How can I leave Julie and Kennidi and Keith? I can�t die�oh shit, what if I have AIDS? I mean, Darren and I have never worried about�why should we? We�re both checked regularly for that, but I never had Julie checked, and you never know�fuck. What if I�ve given Darren AIDS? These panicked thoughts are racing through my mind as the door opens. A nervous looking doctor enters the room, she�s shorter than me, and looks like she couldn�t be any older than 18, her hair is a blonde that is dark at the top and grows lighter as it grows outward. Her eyes are piercing blue, and she seems more than a little flustered. As I watch her I realize that this isn�t the doctor that had taken my urine sample. �Who are you?� I ask, feeling the nervousness eat at my stomach. She looks at me for a moment, then replies. �I�m Dr. Kristin Marelii.� This is getting ever more confusing for me, I just want to know what�s wrong with me. I voice the thought to her and she bites her lower lip, a gesture I do not take comforting. �Well, Mr. Draper�you see, there�well�� She trails off. �Mr. Draper, this is highly unusual, in fact, it�s never been heard of�� that doesn�t ease my fear. At all. She continues to talk, but I�m not hearing a word she says, finally she asks. �Is this all clear, do you understand?� I shake my head, feeling confused. She sighs. �Mr. Draper�you�re pregnant.� The words don�t make sense. See, I�m a guy. So I can�t be pregnant. This is some sort of joke, it has to be, so I sit here, and I wait for Brett and Kirk and some of the other guys to jump out of the medical closet and we can all have a laugh over this later. I think she knows I�m not grasping what she�s saying because she touches my shoulder. �This isn�t funny.� I finally manage to say when no one appears to tell me this is all a stupid prank. She sighs. �I�m not kidding Mr. Draper.� I look at her, hard. �No? But I�m a guy�I can�t get pregnant.� I say this with surprising calmness, because inside, I�m beginning to break. Pregnant. Yes. That would explain the morning sickness, and the need to urinate, and the hunger�Julie went through the exact same thing twice�but I�m a guy! She tightens her grip on my shoulder. �Let�s do an ultrasound so you can see I�m not joking.� I shake my head, no, if they do an ultrasound�that means she really believes she�s not joking. �Besides, won�t it be too small to be seen if I really am pregnant?� She gives me an indulgent smile. �We can still hear its heartbeat.� That makes my throat tighten. No. No. I�m a MALE. MEN can�t get pregnant. She seems to read my mind. �Mr. Draper, did you ever take biology in high school?� I nod, my body is numb, this HAS to be a sick joke. She looks me in the eyes. �Then you learned that male�s chromosomes go into a child with the female�s.� I nod, I knew all about the X and Y chromosome shit. She nods back at me. �The you must realize that every human technically has both chromosomes in them.� I nod again, this is starting to make sick sense in my mind. �And therefore, there are some humans that are born with both reproductive organs.� I nod again, hermaphrodites, I knew they existed. �But I�m a guy! I have�� She shakes her head. �You must understand, the woman�s reproductive organs are the ovaries, just because you don�t have the visible organ doesn�t mean you can�t have a�well, a womb.� She�s right, it all makes sense�but this can�t be happening to me� She pushes me back onto the table and lifts my shirt. �Let�s do an ultrasound.� The jelly is cold as she rolls it onto my stomach, and I shiver. The little monitor at my right clicks on, and suddenly I�m staring at a familiar little black screen, there�s a lot of light, but I can�t see much of anything. I open my mouth to tell her this, when she shushes me. �Listen.� I fall silent, holding my breath a little, and then I hear it. �Woosh, woosh, woosh, woosh�.� I recognize it as a heartbeat, identical to the ones I heard when we went for Kennidi and Keith�s ultrasounds. I feel myself getting sick again. She removes the jellyroll and wipes off my stomach, then she helps me up. �See?� I nod, feeling tears enter my eyes. How the hell am I going to explain this to Darren... to anyone?! She hands me a tissue. �Well Mr. Draper. I guess you realize now, your going to be a father�� I swallow. �Yes.� �Do you know who the father is?� I nod again, it could only be Darren, Kirk and I haven�t slept together in about a month or maybe even two. I don�t want it to be anyone other than Darren. She hands me a few papers. �Call me in a few days so we can schedule a appointment.� I nod, and still as scared shitless as I was when I first came in, I leave.
Darren�s POV
I�m worried sick, Kris left for the doctor�s nearly two hours ago, he said he was just going for a regular check up, but those take at most thirty minutes, so where the fuck is he? Shit�what if he went there, and when they were running the tests, they found out he has AIDS�. Fuck, I was tested a couple months ago, but that doesn�t mean much, Cheryl has a opposite partner of her own, what if�shit�Oh God, what if Kris has cancer? No, I can�t think like this, he�ll be fine�he has to be. Why the fuck isn�t he home?! I�m currently sitting on the couch at his house, staring out the window at the falling snow, and waiting for him to get back, my stomach hurts, I just want him home. I�m sitting here, lost in my angsty thoughts when I see headlights at the drive way. Without thinking I jump up and run to the front door, like a kid waiting for the ice-cream man. He gets out of the car, looking rather shaky. Oh fuck, oh fuck oh fuck, please let everything be okay. �Kris?� He�s at the porch now, and he looks upset. I take his arm, pulling him gently into the house. We get inside and I kiss him gently on the cheek. �Kris? Are you okay?� He smiles weakly at me and begins pulling his coat off. He hangs it up in the closet and closes the closet door. �Kris, answer me.� He still doesn�t reply, and the uneasiness that�s eating at my stomach is getting progressively worse. �Kris?� He�s not looking me in the eyes now, he�s staring at the ground, looking like he may vomit. �Kris, please. What�s wrong?� I reach out to touch him on the shoulder and he jerks away. �I�m going to bed.� Well, he finally said something, but it�s not what I want to hear. He starts walking to the bedroom, and I follow him. �Kris, this isn�t funny. Tell me what the fuck is wrong with you.� He still doesn�t answer, and instead closes the bedroom door. I slam my fist against it. I�m so scared. What�s wrong with him? Oh God, please lord. Let him be okay.
Kris�s POV
I sob into my pillowcase. I can�t keep it. I can�t. I�m a professional hockey player, people will KNOW if I�m pregnant. People will find out. Oh God, I�m some sort of freak�I hear Darren pounding on the bedroom door, yelling for me to tell him what�s the hell is going on. I want to tell him. I want him to tell me we can keep it, it�s something we made together, that we can find a way to hide the fact that I�m a pregnant GUY. I want him to hold me, and wonder at the miracle that�s happened. But I can�t tell him. I just can�t, because I can�t be sure that he�ll react that way, he might want me to get rid of it, he might want me to give up on the whole thing, and he might want to end our relationship, because, now, it�s like having another female around.
February 9th
Kris�s POV
I went to Dr. Marelii today, she ran some more tests, and took my blood, asked what I had been eating and all the questions Julie had been asked when I went with her to her appointments. She asked me if I was planning to keep the child, and I answered honestly, that I didn�t know. She nodded, pursing her lips, as if to say �Keep it, this is a medical miracle, keep it you fool.� But she didn�t give a verbal response. She told me my body was quite healthy and that if I planned to keep the child I should stay on a strict diet. It was about then that it hit me, how fat I would be getting if I wanted to keep this kid. I sure as hell wouldn�t be playing hockey for at least six or seven months�but�I kind of want to keep it�I can�t explain why, I mean, this is some sort of freak of nature, I�m the first known guy on the fucking planet to have a kid in my stomach, this could ruin my whole hockey career, could ruin the entire life I�ve set up around me, and still�I kind of want to keep it. I don�t realize that I�m crying, but Dr. Marelii�s gaze softens and she hands me a few tissues. I take them and wipe at my eyes. �I�m usually not so emotional.� I confess, a light blush coming to my cheeks. That makes her laugh for some reason, I look at her oddly, as she composes herself. �Sorry, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but if you keep the baby, it�s going to get a whole lot worse.� I begin to laugh as well, because this is all too insane for me, and, to make things worse, I still haven�t told Darren. She smiles at me, as if reading my mind again, maybe she�s telepathic. �If you haven�t told him yet, just take your time, you have almost nine months left to tell him, but�well, take moderate time, he�ll need to know soon�� I nod, and she pauses, as if thinking. �Can I ask you�no, nevermind.� She stops herself, a light blush coming to her cheeks. I realize suddenly she wants to know who the father is, she probably knows most of the guys on the team, I don�t know if she watches Hockey, but she knows who I am, and she probably wants to know if the Father is on the team. I guess it doesn�t matter if she knows who it is, if she wanted to ruin my career she could have gone to the press when I first came in. �You want to know who the father is?� She nods slightly, the blush remaining on her pale skin. I don�t know weather or not to smile or sigh, finally I say it. �Darren McCarty.� She turns away for a moment, and I�m confused, but when she turns around, there�s nothing different about her, except her eyes are maybe a little shinier than before. �You should tell him.� I think about it. I think I will�.
Darren�s POV
I haven�t seen Kris since he came home from the doctors. I don�t know what�s wrong with him. He hasn�t returned my calls. He called in sick to practice yesterday�Gods�I need to talk to him�and I need to find out what�s wrong with him. I can�t understand why he�s doing this. What if I did give him AIDS? Fuck�I�m going to make a doctor�s appointment.
February 12th
Kris�s POV
It�s been two months since this child has been conceived, of course, I haven�t even known for a full month, I�ve only known for a week�and it�s been a horrendous week by the way. I haven�t spoken to Darren since I found out, mostly because I�m afraid that�that�I�m just afraid, and it doesn�t make sense. I know I need to tell him, according to Dr. Marelii, I�m almost into my second trimester, but something keeps holding me back. I guess it�s just the fear that he�ll deem me a freak, and want to end our relationship. I love Darren, more than life itself maybe, well actually, he is the point of my life, so, if I lose him�I lose my meaning�that may be the only reason I�ve yet to tell him. God help me. I want him to know. It�s been so hard, not seeing him, dealing with these emotions, they�ve been so overwhelming. I�m either crying till I don�t think there�s anything wet left in me, or laughing so hard my stomach begins to hurt, or I�m so angry I just want to break things. The other day, I found myself just wanting to cry my eyes out, for no apparent reason. I just wanted to cry, so I did, I cried for nearly three hours, lying on my bed, sobbing uncontrollably, and not knowing why. The fact that I was crying, and didn�t know why I was crying made me cry even harder. I miss Julie, I miss my kids, and I miss Darren. I don�t know what I�m going to do, I need to tell him. Of course, if I don�t keep the kid, then I won�t have to tell him.
To be continued....................
