Darren�s POV
I�m clean, thank the Gods, I don�t have HIV or AIDS, I don�t even have a cold, Kris couldn�t have AIDS from me then�but shit�why is he avoiding me like I�m the plague? Does he want to break up with me? That thought turns me cold all over. I love Kris, more than the waking world, I think he loves me too, but maybe he wants to break up� Fuck, if only I could just talk to him, he�s the love of my life�we were meant for eachother�I need him�please don�t let him want to break up�
February 14th
Kris�s POV
Stevie called me earlier to ask why I hadn�t been coming to the practices, and to wish me a Happy Valentines Day. I�d been so wrapped up with the baby I�d completely forgotten that this was the Lovers Holiday. I should call Darren�Steve mostly called because we have a game against the Avalanche coming up REALLY soon. In about three days, and he�s not sure if we could win without the Grind Line out there, meaning he wanted to know if I was planning on playing. I didn�t know, I mean, could I hurt the kid if I played? I think maybe I could, finally I called Dr. Marelii, and asked her, she said it wasn�t safe to play, not when I was so close to the second trimester. With a sigh I called Stevie back and told him I wasn�t able to play. He asked me why, and I, hating myself for lying to him, he�s our captain, told him I was still sick with strept throat. He seemed to take this well enough. He told me what had been up with the team. �Boyd and Matt hid Boyd�s camera in Sergei�s locker, scared him really badly when he found it, Tomas fell on the ice during practice yesterday and passed out for a few moments, we were really worried, but when he came to he just looked around at us and said �I fall asleep on ice?� Stevie got me laughing harder than I had in days. Bren came on the telephone and talked for little while, until he started spilling bedroom secrets about Stevie, then they got into a little wrestling match over the phone. Steve won. �Well Kris, we�ve got to go�� He paused, and then as an after thought he added. �Call Darren, he�s worried about you.� In the background I heard Bren call out �No fair Stevie! I wanna say goodbye to Kris too!� Steve foolishly handed him the phone and he whispered into it. �Stevie likes�� the phone was snatched away from him. �Bye Kris.� They hung up. I hung up as well, smiling, and feeling happier than I had since I found out about this little bundle of�something in me. I think I�ll put Steve�s number on speed-dial. I really should call Darren, I mean, its not like I�ll slip up in a simple phone call�and I miss him, a whole lot� I pick up the phone and dial his cell phone, I just get his voice mail message. �Er, Dare, it�s me, Kris�I just wanted to say Happy Valentines Day�I love you�I miss you, I promise I�ll see you again soon, but�call me back please�I love you�bye.� When I hung up, I wanted to cry, it suddenly seemed like he was very far away.
Darren�s POV
I pull my car up outside his house. It�s Valentines Day, I just want to see him�but he doesn�t want to see me, he�s made that obvious�Kris�Oh well�that�s not going to stop me from at least delivering the gift I bought him, and the letter�I climb out of the car, looking at the familiar house where he and I had shared so many nights, days, hours and minutes�I wanted to just burst in and take him in my arms, tell him that whatever was wrong we could work through it, to just give me time, give us time�I almost do it, but something holds me back. Instead I just leave the wrapped present and letter at the door and knock before jumping into my car and pulling away.
Kris�s POV
Theres a knock at my door, maybe it�s Kirk, I haven�t heard from him in days and he�s probably worried about me�I go to the door, undoing the latch and locks before slowly opening the heavy thing. I look out, theres no one out there, at all. I�m about to close the door in exasperation, when I happen to glance down. At my feet is a small brightly wrapped package with an envelope attached to it, on the envelope, written in large scrawling script, is �To Kris, Love Dare.� I look at it blankly for a moment, then pick it up, and return to my house. My hands are trembling as I sit the small package on my couch. I�m not sure what�s making me tremble, the guilt that all I did was call him, and I haven�t spoken to him, or the fact that he loves me so much. I open the package slowly, my fingers still trembling. The bright paper falls away, revealing a CD and a small red box. I pick up the CD, it�s a mix of music he must have burned for me. I look at the red box a little hesitantly, then I reach out and open it. For a moment my eyes can�t focus on what�s in the box. Then, slowly, realization dawns, it�s a necklace with a Red Wings pennant hanging from it. The areas where the symbol should be white are silver, and the red areas are filled in with tiny red stones. The pennant is small, about the size of my thumb. I pick up the necklace and flip it over, on the other side of it, carved in simple print, are the words �Darren and Kris 1997-Eternity� That�s all, but that�s enough. I begin to cry. Through my tears I grab the envelope, and open it. A piece of paper falls out. It�s obviously a letter. I have to wipe the tears from my eyes in order to read whatever he wrote, and I do so, wiping my eyes off with the back of my hand. The letter is short, and simple. �Kris. I know you�re going through something tough, just remember, I love you. Whatever you�re going through, we can work it out together. I�ll always be there for you if you need me. With eternal Love; Darren� I fold the note back up slowly. Whatever I�m going through he�ll be there for me�I wonder if he�d still say that if he knew I was pregnant.
February 22
Kris�s POV
Another appointment with Dr. Marelii. She told me I have two more months before I can no longer get rid of the child growing in me. I looked out at the snow, wondering what it would be like to maybe have a kid who belonged to both Darren and I, and look out the window and see that kid playing in the snow, a child that would be mine, but resemble Darren, a kid that by some miracle of fate, or god, or something, chose us to have a child. A child that confirmed my love for Darren. I wondered what it would be like to rock a child to sleep every night and know that it was the product of a relationship that had been 10 years in the making. In that brief instant I imagined Darren and I one day living together, with this child to raise between us. Then that instant was gone, and I looked at Dr. Marelii, I think I was crying, but I don�t know. �I want to keep it.� She looked at me for a moment, then pulled me into a hug. I was surprised, I barely know her, but right then, it didn�t really matter, because I needed a hug. She pulled out of the embrace and looked at me a little shrewdly. �when are you going to tell Darren?� I froze. I had imagined all these future things with him, and I hadn�t even told him he was the father of a baby that was going to be born in seven months. She saw me freeze. �You need to tell him.� I know, and I will�eventually.
Darren�s POV
Kris called me three days ago, telling me he was sorry that he�d been such a jerk recently, but he�d found out he�d gotten strept and mono, and didn�t want to give either to me. I didn�t believe a damn word. I didn�t let him know I didn�t believe him. Now I�m sure he�s either cheating on Julie, AND me or he wants to break up and is afraid to let me know. Neither of those explanations sound like Kris. He asked me to come over, but I couldn�t. Cheryl and I have plans for the day, I love Kris, but what the fuck does he think he�s doing? He avoids me for nearly three weeks, and then expects me be ready to take him back in�I love him though, and I was so relieved to hear from him that I agreed to come over in three days, he sounded a little worried, but I couldn�t concentrate on that for the moment, I was worried about him, but Cheryl was tugging on my arm, telling me the kids were waiting in the car. I sent her out and told Kris I loved him, and would see him soon, then hung up, my chest felt heavy. I got the feeling he invited me over to tell me something important, and I was beginning to be afraid of what that something might be.
Kris�s POV
My palms were sweating when I picked up the phone to call him. I felt like such a loser for not telling him from day one. And to make things worse, I hadn�t even lied well. The phone rang twice in my ear and his beautiful voice came over the line. �Hello, McCarty residence.� I could feel my heart rate increase just from hearing his voice. �Darren.� �Oh. Kris.� His voice took on a oddly prim tone and I felt my heart break a little, he never sounded like that unless he was really angry at someone. �Darren, I�m sorry for not calling you, but, I was sick, I had strept�and mono�� I really didn�t want to add on that last one, it was so�teenageish. �I didn�t want you to catch it.� He must have known I was lying, because he remained silent for a while, then I said. �I love you.� My voice was pleading, I thought I might cry, something I�ve been doing more and more often. Finally he replied. �I love you too." His words were whispered, I knew the kids must be nearby. �Come over.� I said immediately after ward. I was going to tell him. Right now, today, when he comes over, so that I could show him the papers, proof I was pregnant, and if he didn�t believe those, then I would pull out the ultrasounds that showed nothing. If, after all that, he still wouldn�t believe, I would not only take a home pregnancy test, I�d drag him out to Dr. Marelii and have her do an ultrasound for him. �I can�t.� he what?! He WHAT?! �Why not?� I know I�m whining a little, but I can�t help it. If I don�t tell him now, I don�t think I�ll ever tell him. �My FAMILY and I are going out, sledding, and then for dinner.� I sigh, �Okay, when can you come over?� �Tomorrow?� fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I have a doctor appointment at 8:00 am and it goes till noon, then I have a meeting with Dave. �In three days? Is that good?� I suggest. He agrees and hangs up. I sit down on the couch and feel empty.
To be continued, yet again
Click on Kirk and Kris to go onto the chapter 5
