The current reality is "You knew he had kids when you married him." and "You have to grow up and stop being selfish when you marry a man with kids, because kids come first."

Here is an ALTERNATE reality.

To men:

When you are a single man with kids, you have a big liability. You can remarry a woman with her own kids, and support them and deal with her ex and yours and try to be a father to all the children, and always be kind and patient and help them with their homework and go play catch with your son and stepson and join your stepdaughter for a tea party with her dolls after an overtime shift at work. But you'd better not lose your temper, and you'd better not grudge any of them a penny of your paycheck, because you knew she had kids when you married her!

Or, you can hit the jackpot and marry a woman without her own kids, without trying to make small talk to ex who shared her bed for years and without supporting another man's kids. You would be very lucky to woo and win such a woman! She is a treasure, a real gift from the universe.

So treat her that way! Remember that she is your wife and that the two of you will have a different kind of life than you had before she came. Remember that she doesn't have kids, and that you and your children aren't allowed to take her generosity for granted. Remember that your kids will look to you to set the example for how they should treat her, and that letting them insult her is an insult to your wife. Remember that she didn't marry you for the pleasure of picking up after your children or arguing with them about bedtime.

She is showing you the purest form of love, she is devoted to you. She is willing to make a home for another woman's children and to tolerate another woman in your life. She is willing to go to work and to pay for your children and then come home and make dinner. She is willing to attend sporting events and school functions that bore her to tears and eternally compromise her wishes for where she wants to live, go on vacation and out to dinner.

Do whatever it takes to keep that kind of love in your life! Never forget what she is sacrificing for your marriage!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

If this you can relate to this article, you will probably want to read:
You Knew He Had Kids When You Married Him
Did You Know?
You may also want to join the message board: Childless Stepmoms Chat a message board for both Childless Stepmoms and Former Childless Stepmoms!

Back to