| #30 Sometimes it's better to just go with it. #31 Start fresh. End moldy. #32 The secret to a happy life is something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for. Plus sex, alcohol, drugs, money and corruption. #33 Well if the government said so, then it's got to be true. #34 There's only one word that you can say to end the tension that's been building over the past four minutes. That word happens to be "drums." #35 Let's face it, Himey can't be helpful 24-7. Therefore, tip 35 is seek help elsewhere. #36 If you keep believing in something it's bound to come true. However, when it does come true, the only people you'll care about telling are those that walk up and down the mall with you. You know, the ones no one can see. #37 Ignorance is bliss. The only way to achieve this is to remove key parts of your brain surgically. Get to it! #38 When I look back at the atrocities of the human race-- the violence, the killing... utter barbarity-- it always comes back to the same people. Native Americans. #39 Don't bother expecting the unexpected. You'll still shit yourself when it happens whether you expected it or not. #40 Kangaroo is not spelled Cangaroo. #41 If you don't vote... ...you can't bitch. #42 By John Benson: The democratic party is so gay!!! They suck, they stand for nothing and now they cant even win elections!! Dude be a man and join a real party. #43 I love November because it reminds me of simpler times--when there were no laws against slaughtering Indians and raping their wives--and then having a turkey dinner with corn that they showed us how to grow. #44 Well I for one am glad to have all three branches of government controlled by the Republicans. I had been getting sick of seeing women in the workplace rather than barefoot in the kitchen-- never mind those people of color who have wandered off the plantation. #45 A quick solution to boredom - find the answer to this question: Which tastes better, bleach or hydrogen peroxide? #46 It will get better. Maybe not for you. #47 Sometimes it's better to just let it all out. And by that I do not mean shmeg. #48 Be logical. Be stoic. Be without emotion. Be rational. Be Vulcan, not human. #49 The smell of poop wafting into your room is not pleasant. Try to avoid such an occurrence. #50 Coffee... because you can sleep when you're dead! #51 When reality gets too tough, abandon it. #52 Puff. You know, the magic dragon... the one who lived by the sea. Yeah, him. He was one cool fucker. #53 No matter how great of a person you are... GIVE TWO WEEKS NOTICE. #54 Give blood. To me. Not for medical reasons. So I can run it through plastic pipes through my room, and hook it up to one of those rock fountains that they sell on QVC. That would be awesome. Until the blood coagulates. Comments to this away message must be made in a British accent and incorporate the adjective "bloody" i.e. bloody hell. #55 Read the following sentence: The ostensible reason for Mary's visit was to drop off a casserole, but Frank knew she was checking up on him. There are four ways you could have read this. 1. You read it and understood it immediately. 2. You didn't know the meaning of a word, so you looked it up. 3. You didn't know the meaning of the word but still got the gist by contextual clues. 4. You were thrown off by the sentence beginning with "The" -- got confused -- stopped there -- and gave up to go watch television, because you were educated in Texas. People who chose solution number four are shameful. And by shameful I mean i wish bad things upon you to the point that you are incapable of reproducing, especially with your relatives. #56 All i really want is. And in the morning it's. Cause in the evenin it's. .To do this dishes .To clean up my room .To do the laundry .And in the bathroom. #57 You might just have himeystyle if you can figure out the problem in himey's help tips #1-29 on the website. Typos aren't it, but tell me so i can fix 'em. #58 Have a happy day. If the number of years ago you were born happens to be an exact integer (to the closest day, of course), then have an especially happy one. #59 Ignoring Himey just might bring out the Jimbo in him. |
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