| �The Theory of Abelnness� - Assessing the Abeln Hierarchy As stated in a previous article, we are seeking an answer to the following question: What is the Abeln Hierarchy? As has already been mentioned, it is not only Abeln children that will be considered, but also individuals who fall within the general range of Abelnness. A list has been included, along with the rational behind their inclusion. We are looking for a score in the following qualities of Abelnness: HLTM (Hey Listen to Me!) - loudness HLAM (Hey Look At Me!) - desire for attention HIEF (Hey I�m Even Funnier!) - one-upmanship HIAS (Hey I�m A Shit-stirrer!) - troublemaking Each individual must have a score for each level, ranging from 1 to 5 (5 being the highest). Each individual will then receive a total score. It is accepted that Lincoln Abeln will rate highest in every area. The Candidates Claude Abeln The oldest, most experienced Abeln. Has he taught the other Abeln siblings all they know, and if so, what are the implications? Amy Abeln Don�t let that quiet and unassuming exterior fool you. She�s been around almost as long as Claude. Lincoln Abeln The definition of Abelnness. He is your rule of thumb. Molly Abeln Gorgeous and yet deadly with an acerbic one-liner. Can and will drink you under the table Renee Abeln-Taylor The youngest of the Abeln siblings. Has she picked-up all their tricks . . . and more? Jason Walker Has spent more time with the Abeln children that any other candidate - what do you think he has learned? Catherine Beem A hot Huron broad who may have been separated from the Abeln clan at birth. Did she offer too much competition? Al Fish Charming, handsome man-about-Vermillion - with the morals of a she-wolf! Has been involved with the Abelns for years. Gregg Wortham Married into the family several years ago and one of the founders of the HIA. Surely that speaks for itsellf! Jefe (Jeff) Engeman Perhaps a somewhat surprising inclusion. But two words for you: Rhinestone Cowboy. And he has an alias . . . |
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