Jess quickly walked to me curled up next to the couch.
"Oh honey, they were out of the pints...I tried to find them."
I sunk back down into my safe comfort in my hands on top of my legs clutched to my chest.
I'm okay here. If I don't move from this position, I'm safe from facing the fact that I no longer will be one of the big parts of Nick's life and that I'm going to be okay with that.
"First Nick doesn't need me anymore....and now....*sniffle*.....now, I can't even have the thing that always made me feel better."
Then I bravely lifted my head back up to see a confused Jess face staring back at me.
"You mean Nick?.....you want him back? You know what will happen-we all know what will happen. Honey, you were doing so much better. Come here sweetie."
And then I was immediately covered by a comforting hug.
"No, Jess....*sniffle*...the ice cream."
She still had on that confused look when she released me and I looked back at her face.
"I don't get it Laney.....Ben & Jerry's always makes you feel better....we can talk about this"
And then I let the second tear down my cheek in a slow, lonely pattern around the corner and then onto my sleeve.
"That's just it....I don't even like nuts in my ice cream....*sniffle*...that was Nick's favorite flavor."
Something clicked.
I hugged Jess, then stood up and walked towards the balcony of our third story apartment. When I turned back around Jess still had the confused face, but now also the 'I'm sorry, I should've known, please forgive me' face.
It's not her fault though. I still ate that ice cream up until last few weeks. Silently torturing myself with my favorite treat that had now taken a bitter taste when Nick and I ended.
"I'll be alright. Don't worry. I always get over it. Just... give me some time alone outside for a lil' while, k?"
She nodded and then proceeded to got to the trash and dump the offending half pint of Chunky Monkey.
"Oh and Jess? Before I forget."
"What's that? Do you need anything?"
She's my best friend. She's probably as tired of all this mess as I am...more so more than likely. I really love that girl. Everyone needs a Jess.
"Thank you...I know you think you screwed up by getting that particular ice cream, but in a way you helped me.
If possible she looked even more confused, but less upset over upseting me.
"You made me realize how ridiculous I had still been acting and that I needed to really get over him this time, ya know? So..just thank you."
"Laney, you're my best friend, I'd do anything to help...well except maybe do your laundry of course. You've got WAY too much delicate underwear."
I turned back around at that remark and saw the smirk on her face.
I chuckled, if only just a little, but enough to make me smile again.
I needed that.
"Well then get to cracking on getting me some Phish Food slave-girl. Whip Crack!"
She smiled at me and then turned around and opened the freezer to reveal a full pint of Phish food.
"That's a girl, but I'm way ahead of you on that one."
I grabbed a spoon and the pint. I hugged Jess one last time, smiled a little smile, and then went out onto the porch with my Phish Food and really began my healing.
Things were going to be okay.
Now all I had to do was face the others, talk to them all, but most importantly face Nick again.