�Dude, stop fidgeting! I�m not joking. I will get you a tranquilizer!�
I looked at Marc from across the aisle and sneered at him.
�Don�t start with me, Cabrera. You weren�t even supposed to come with us. Deciding at the last minute that you need a so-called �vacation� doesn�t give you the clout to threaten me.�
He held his hands out in front of him like a shield.
�Chill, man. No need to bust out the kung fu.�
Rolling my eyes, I leaned back in my chair and started chewing on my thumb, my leg bouncing in front of me.
�Toby, pleeeeease? You know I don�t like to fly. You�re just making me more nerv� well, hello cute flight attendant guy.�
I ignored Xander as he started babbling about the steward who�d just walked by in preparation for takeoff. Caught up in my worst-case scenarios, it took Ryan hitting my arm twice to get my attention.
�She�s. Oh. Kay.�
�Ryan, man� I�m sorry. You just� you weren�t there last time.�
He shrugged and looked me straight in the eye.
�But we all saw the damage. Just be glad it�s not the step-dad. Mike won�t pull anything as long as Angie�s around.�
�If Jacob went down there at the same time Kara did, I��
��would have been on the same flight. I know. We all would have.�
Sighing, I closed my eyes and tried to calm my racing heartbeat.
�If she has even just a bruise on her, I�ll kill him. And I�ll know. All I have to do is look in her eyes to know if he�s done anything to her.�
Ryan nodded in agreement, looking at me with sympathy as my voice cracked.
�You know her better than she knows herself. I don�t doubt that. A few more hours, then we�re there.�
The pilot came on to announce our departure, and I managed to calm myself down enough to make fun of Xander with the rest of the guys as the plane took off. When everything leveled out, Ryan turned back to me, considering something in his head.
�What?�
Shrugging, he started digging through the backpack at his feet.
�If I didn�t think she belonged with this Nick guy, the two of you would so get married.�
What? Noooooo�
�She�s like my sister! That�s sick!�
The seats around us grew quiet as Ryan started laughing.
�Okay, maybe not. But are you seriously moving with her when she goes off to college?�
I shrugged, knowing how terribly codependent the entire idea sounded.
�Yeah, I transferred. Just until she�s used to being away from Jacob and everyone. Just to make sure she doesn�t hook up with any other assholes to replace all of the ones she left behind. �
He shrugged again, pulling on his headphones. Before he turned on his music, he grinned at me.
�Nah, you�ll probably stay there until she graduates and then y�all will move to New York and start your own record label or something. No wonder Asha broke up with you.�
�No, Asha broke up with me because she�s now a lesbian.�
But he didn�t hear me. His music was already blaring in his ears.
*
How I managed to get lost in the entrails of a wedding shop I�ll never know. Why they decided to put every shop you�d probably need for an overly extravagant wedding into one big warehouse of a place I�ll never know either. It�s horribly convenient when you�re not completely lost.
Every person I passed looked at me like I was from another planet, so I�d started messing with their heads, blowing kisses to the old men, pretending I was stealing things around the obviously new workers, silently coming on to the grooms from across the room.
Basically becoming a totally different person with a totally different life in the back of my head.
I�d found myself in a mostly empty hallway that might have connected one part of the store to the part that could contain my missing cousin. Before I had a chance to find out, a heavy hand landed on one of my shoulders and threw me against the far wall some five or six feet away.
For a second, the silly thought of �oh, maybe it�s one of those cute guys I was flirting with� popped through my na�ve, little head.
Then I looked up.
And saw a groom I knew all too well.
�What the fuck did you do to him?�
The smell of his breath almost gagged me, but I knew that would end the interrogation and push us into something totally different, so I controlled myself.
�To who?�
When I tried to move, Mike�s hand found my throat and slammed me back against the wall, causing a shooting pain to go up my back while my left arm got pinned behind me.
�Ah, Kara. What happened to you liking it rough? That�s what your daddy told me.�
He pushed me against the wall again and grabbed my other wrist as tears sprung to my eyes more from the pain than any of his words.
�He�s not my dad, you asshole.�
Words I can ignore. I�ve heard enough of them. Just sometimes I can�t stop myself from responding.
Mike laughed and glanced down the hall, making sure we were alone.
Sadly enough we were.
�Oh, please forgive me. Brittney�s daddy. That�s probably for the better, but that�s another conversation. I want to know what the hell you�ve done to Nick.�
His fingers around my neck tightened, making it harder to breath.
�Did he like the little skirt, Kara? Did you have to put it on twice because he ripped it off of you the first time?�
What?
�I didn�t� see him� this� morning.�
The words came out in gasps, making breathing even more of a difficult task.
�What about last night? What the fuck did you do to cause that?�
What?!
I�m confused. Everything with his bitching had been normal until now. How does he know about last night?
Mike saw the confusion in my eyes and grinned, enjoying the sudden edge he had over me.
�He came back last night. After the two of you left in such a hurry. You gave him a blowjob in the parking lot, didn�t you?�
Oh fuck.
�What? He didn�t come home to tell you about how he stormed into the restaurant and caused this big scene, accusing my baby brother of some lewd act? I�m surprised. I figured he�d be so proud of himself.�
I could feel the tears stinging my eyes, and I forgot all about the hand that was slowly suffocating me. This was all too normal. Nick being involved was the part that hurt.
A slap across my face brought my attention back to Mike as I felt blood leak into my mouth and I heard my glasses hit the concrete floor.
�Is this what I�m going to have to do from now on? Make sure I bring Nick up into every one of our little talks so I�m sure you�re paying attention?�
He was silent, staring down at me so his breath hit my cheek.
�I just don�t get it. You�ll fuck with my best friend any chance you get, but you won�t even give my little brother the time of day unless he forces you. And he actually likes you. Now Nick� can�t say the same about him. He fucks too many girls to care about them. That�s probably all he wants out of you.�
But you said that I�ve already been sleeping with him�
�I just don�t see how you can be so fuckin� stupid. He doesn�t care about you. He never did. You�re just another piece of teenybopper trash to him. All he wants is what�s under this little skirt.�
He let go of my throat, my lungs immediately telling my head to gasp for air as he directed his free hand under my skirt and moved his mouth closer to my ear.
�Just let him have it. Then you�ll have bragging rights. You slept with a pop star. That�s all you want, isn�t it?�
A few seconds of silence that felt like hours passed as his hand continued to travel slowly up my leg.
I�ve rarely felt so dirty�
�Isn�t it?�
I never had a chance.
Unable to answer through the gasping breaths I was taking, I didn�t have a chance to say anything that might have appeased him. Instead he removed his hand from my leg and swung, causing a dull thud that marred the strange silence as his fist hit the side of my face. Letting go of me completely and stepping away as the surprisingly familiar pain shot through my skull, I slid down the wall, not bothering to touch the quickly forming bruise or wipe the blood leaking out of the corner of my mouth.
�You really should answer people�s questions.�
He nudged my glasses towards me with the toe of his sneaker before he started walking away.
�Go back to Nick. Tell him what happened. See if he cares. And pull your skirt down. No one wants to see what you have under that.�
Clinching my jaw, I forced the tears to stay out of my eyes as I grabbed my glasses with shaking hands. Pulling myself up, I willed my legs to stay working underneath me while I looked around the other room I�d been heading towards.
I�ve done this before. Many times before. I can get out of here. Don�t break down until you�re out of here, Macintosh.
While pulling my hair down to cover my face, I slipped my glasses on and kept my head down as I crossed the room quickly, avoiding whatever girl called out my name as I entered another hallway and then another room.
Thankfully the room with the front doors.
Trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, I headed towards the front door, my face covered as I passed Angie, who was conveniently distracted by Mike. I heard her ask him where I was going, and he made up an excuse about me having to pick up the guys because they�d come in earlier than I�d expected
Oh god. The guys.
Toby.
No. No. No.
Pushing the front door of the building open, I let the humid air wash over me as I ran through the drizzly rain that�d been falling since we�d gotten here a few hours earlier. I jogged towards the Durango and collapsed against the side of it, waves of panic washing over the pain.
He�s gonna know. I might be able to hide it from Nick, but Toby�
He�ll know. He�ll know it the moment he steps off the plane. I�m more of his twin than Trevor is.
He�s going to know. He�s going to get mad.
Fuck.
�Please forgive me for my distance
The pain is evident in my existence
Please forgive me for my distance
The shame is manifest in my resistance
To your love, to your love
I would�ve warned you, but really, what�s the point?
Caution could but rarely ever helps
Don�t be down when my demeanor tends to disappoint
It�s hard enough even trying to be civil with myself.�