�Still a little bit of your ghost, your witness
Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day
That I can't say what's going on.�
In front of the closed garage door, I turned to see Nick�s car sitting on the other side of the circular driveway and sighed, rain pattering down quietly on the roof.
I have to get inside without him seeing me. I won�t be able to hide anything from him until I can get to makeup. And have the opportunity to cry in private a little bit.
I can�t stay out here forever. Maybe I can go get the guys myself and just show up� later? Never?
Don�t think I�d even make it to the airport. I don�t have any clue where we are.
Psyching myself up, I opened the garage door and pulled in slowly, not used to driving an SUV. Turning off the engine, I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down before I slid out of the front seat, slamming the door behind me, and headed towards the house.
*
She�s back. What do I do? How do� I need to talk to her. Now, the moment she walks in.
Throwing down the notebook I�d been writing random words in, I rubbed my hands over my face and attempted to not panic as I heard the door open and shut. Her footsteps hesitated a few moments as if she were waiting for something before she shut the door.
Here we go�
�Hey, Kara��
*
Fuck! He would have to be downstairs in my way, wouldn�t he?
My left eye already felt like it was swelling shut as the blood swirled around in my head. Forgetting my objective of not looking suspicious, I headed straight for the stairs, walking as fast as possible and keeping my head down.
�We need to talk, Kar.�
No, we don�t. Not now, not ever. We don�t need to talk to each other. I can�t hurt you and destroy your life if we don�t talk to each other.
When I got to the stairs, Nick had just stood from the couch and moved towards me, instantly prompting me to walk faster, climbing the stairs two at a time in an effort to reach the solitude of my room faster.
�Later, Nick.�
*
She disappeared up the stairs, the two words she�d called back to me shaky.
�No, Kara, now. I need to talk to you now.�
I followed her, my longer legs allowing me to catch up to her before she had the chance to disappear behind her bedroom door. Grabbing hold of her arm, I pulled her away from the door a little more forcefully than I�d intended and felt her flinch.
Shit. That�s her bruised arm.
�It�ll have to wait, Nick. Not now.�
She�s about to cry. She might already be crying. Something else happened today.
Before I had to chance to process the trembling of her entire body and attempt to get a glimpse of her face, Kara had jerked her arm from my grasp and rushed to her door, pushing it opened far enough to slip into the room before slamming it shut again.
What�s going on now?
*
Go away, Nick. Go away, go away, go away!
Locking the door, I slid down to the floor, biting into my lip until I tasted more blood in my mouth as I tried to not make any noise.
Which is hard when you�re holding back panicked sobs.
He�s still on the other side of the door.
Go away. Please, Nick, just go away.
*
She locked the door. I can�t get in there.
What the fuck is going on?!
Putting my ear to the door, I knocked softly, fearing that I might upset her further with my persistence.
�Kara, your friends are going to be here earlier than originally planned.�
It�s safer to start off with a neutral topic of conversation, I guess.
�Fuck!�
I heard her exclaim quietly, the curse most likely not meant for me to hear.
�We have to leave in forty five minutes, all right?�
Keeping my ear to the door, she surprised me when her voice came from beneath me as though she�d used up all her energy and ended up tumbling onto the floor just inside the door.
�Okay, I�ll� I�ll be ready.�
Trying the doorknob again, I found it still locked and sighed.
Last time I pushed to figure out what was wrong with her, I yelled at her. I screamed for her to get away from me because I wasn�t thinking rationally to know that she didn�t mean a damn word she�d said to me. I can�t push this. We�ll just ended up back there, and I�ll end up doing something I regret. Have to leave it alone, Carter. Don�t push her.
Leaning against the door, I heard her moving around, water turning on soon muffled most likely from the bathroom door shutting.
Okay, Carter, she�s taking a shower. She�ll be ready in a little bit. We have a thirty-minute drive ahead of us. Alone time. As much as I hate talking to her when I�m driving, it might be the only chance I have alone with her today. The flight might be late though. I don�t think we can talk in public. It�s a risk just going to the airport� I can�t upset her in public.
A bolt of thunder crashed down somewhere not so far from my house, the loud noise making me jump.
We�ll figure this out. We have forty-five minutes to plan. We�ll have insider help soon. This is just a small roadblock, nothing compared to yesterday. That�s what I have to make up for.
Heading towards my own bedroom, I stopped in the middle of the hall as another lightning bolt struck somewhere in the distance.
Was she wearing a skirt?
*
Stop swelling!!!
Staring at myself through unfocused eyes as water dripped from my eyelashes, I clinched my jaw and unthinkingly screamed at my reflection. Thankfully the noise of the running shower masked my noise of frustration.
This works! This has always worked. Why won�t it when I need it most desperately?
Holding my breath, I plunged my face back into the sink full of icy water, leaning my forearms on the bathroom cabinet. The pain had diminished into pinpricks against the left side of my face as the nerves grew numb from the temperature.
It took too much time to get here. My face was already bad when I started all this. I didn�t have time to stop it.
Pulling away the moment my lungs began to scream for fresh air, I tried to catch my breath as I glanced at myself in the mirror again, swearing that the skin around my eye was just becoming more puffy and darker with each time I dunked my face in the water.
�He�s going to kill me.�
Grabbing a towel, I plopped down on the floor, covering my face and pulling my knees to my chin.
I can�t hide all of this with makeup. The color� yeah, but the swelling? My cheek is swollen, my eye� my lip from where I�d nearly bitten through it.
Toby is going to freak.
Thirty minutes and I have to face Nick again. Nick� who�s trying so hard to make things right if only I�d just give him the chance to apologize when he knows I�m awake.
Apologize for what? I�m the one who�s doing all this.
He went back last night. He went to tell them off. He went to defend me.
I don�t get it.