Pulling from his arms, I walked towards where Morgan had begun searching through racks of clothes.
�Here�s all the new, never-before worn stuff. Most of the racks on this side of the room are pretty� big. They should fit you considering you�re so tall and broad. Changing rooms are on the back wall. As for you Miss Kara��
After directing Nick in the different areas that he�d be interested in, Morgan turned to me, a gleam in his eye, rocking back and forth on his toes.
�I gots somethin� for you.�
�Uh oh� are you going to try and get me into six inch platform ho boots again?�
I heard Nick chuckle as he walked by, running his arm against my back. Shivers went down my spine, making me want to lose any common sense I possessed and take him back to his hotel.
�No, something I believe you�d actually want came in the other day. Been holding a pair for you hoping I�d see you in here today.�
An evil grin landed on his lips, scaring me some.
�Stay here. I�ll bring �em up here.�
Oh no.
�Are you sure this is something I�d want people to see in public?�
He laughed, running down the stairs back to the counter in the front. Oh boy�
Turning back to Nick, I watched him a moment considering some pants on the rack. Walking over to him and leaning against it, I giggled.
�You need help babe?�
Glancing over at me without turning his head, he shook his head negatively.
�Why was I making you confused? Is that why you�re so upset?�
Back to this� sigh. Keeping an eye on the stairs so I�d know when Morgan came back, I began to talk, saying the first things that came to my mind.
�Nick� I��
Can�t be with you because you�re a Backstreet Boy and every fifth girl would want to kill me. I have a hard enough time dealing with the people who hate me for just being me.
Okay, maybe I�m not saying everything that comes first to my mind.
�I wasn�t expecting to see you today. Or ever again for that matter. Not because I didn�t want to� just because� I thought that was how it was going to work out. Running into you again so randomly��
Lie! That�s a lie! You knew he was in town! I knew I was going to see him. I just didn�t expect him to see me! Especially when I wasn�t completely prepared.
��just sort of confused me. I thought� I don�t know what I thought. I just didn�t really know what to do afterwards. I�d never gotten that far in my daydreams.�
�Daydreams?�
Oh shit. I didn�t just say that. Hoping to wave the comment off with my hand, I continued to a slightly different subject.
�I was upset because I didn�t know what to do. Because I was completely confused. That and because I didn�t think that, after I ran into you and then away, I�d ever have a chance of seeing you again. Or at least anytime soon.�
He continued to go through the clothes, listening to me yet giving me the courtesy of not actually looking at me as I �confessed�.
�And I�m not too sure why you�re here with me in the first place.�
*
I didn�t just hear that right. There�s no way I could have just heard that right. Why am I here with her? Why?
I draped the clothes I�d picked up on the rack nearest to me calmly, trying to keep myself from screaming that I�m so madly in love with her that I can�t even see straight unless I�m with her.
Stay calm Carter.
There�s no use holding her tight and kissing her for so long that she passes out from loss of oxygen. I doubt she�ll really feel everything going through my head right now, all the feelings I have for her and our situation. I don�t think she remembers what it felt like for us to kiss, and although that might remind her, I� I just need to tell her. Somehow without scaring the hell out of her.
�Kara��
My voice was soft, trying to make her understand.
��you don�t have a clue what you do to me, do you?�
Come on Kara, look at me. I can�t very well confess my heart if you won�t look at me.
�Nick� I� it doesn�t make any sense to me.�
�I don�t think it�s supposed to. I don�t think we�re even supposed to be attempting to make sense of any of it.�
Her chest rose and fell as she sighed, taking a deeper breath than normal.
�I don�t know if I can do that.�
And that�s why Ryan was calling her dumb.
�Kar� look at me.�
Slowly, she raised her head, green eyes filled with a mixture of fear and confusion.
I don�t know what you�re afraid I�m about to say� just� please please Carter, don�t say whatever she doesn�t want me to say.
Oh yeah, because that works.
�I don�t understand what�s going on. I haven�t from the very beginning, but I�m here and you�re here, and if that wasn�t supposed to be happening, I don�t think we would have run into each other again. Or that I would have found out where Ryan was playing this afternoon.�
Or that Marcus voluntarily left me to my own devices in trust that I�d come back in time to go to sound check.
�I�m not going to claim to be able to read your mind because, trust me, I have a hard enough time just reading mine, but��
Standing directly in front of her, my arms resting gently on her shoulders and leaning over so it�d be easier to look at her, I locked my eyes with hers.
��you�re the first person I�ve connected with in a long time. Maybe even the first girl I�ve ever connected with, I don�t know. All I know is that I want to be here with you now, and so I am. I know that whenever I�m with you, I somehow feel more like me than I have at any other time in my life. I�m not afraid that you�re going to think I�m weird or stupid or� I don�t know. I can be myself with you and not fear that you�re going to turn your nose up at me.�
That wasn�t so bad now, was it? Kara doesn�t even have any tears in her eyes this time around. We�re making some progress.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Morgan run back up the stairs, some clothing in hand. Taking a glance at us, he placed the clothes he�d saved for Kara and quietly climbed back down the stairs.
I like this Morgan guy.
�Nick� I� don�t really know what to say.�
Then don�t. Please don�t. I can�t hear you say that you don�t believe me or that it doesn�t matter.
�I� I like you. Probably much more than I probably should. I just can�t help thinking� why me?�
�You�re stubborn, you know that?�
Her eyebrows pulled closer together, almost in a look of insult.
�I get that sometimes.�
�Well, it�s true. I�ve already told you why you. You drive me crazy. I can�t stop thinking about you. I know what I�m about to say is going to sound� a little ridiculous, but it�s true. If I could, I�d quit my job, move down here and get another one that doesn�t mean I have to travel all the time. Just so I could be with you. So I could spend all my free time with you and get to know everything about you.�
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