*click*
No more.
Absolutely no more of this bullshit. I'm sick of being the perpetually happy, always "okay", compromising Howie.
I refuse to be when I can't even be "okay" with what has happened to us.
When I walked into that meeting yesterday I never thought that this could happen. Maybe I was always positive and the happy one because deep down I thought "we" would never change.
How could he do this?!
How could they do this. This is complete bullshit.
I can't even look at their pictures on my wall I'm so disgusted with them. They gave up. They couldn't "handle" it anymore. I, at least, thought that Kevin would put up more of a fight, but I guess some things do change. That should've been the first sign. The pictures just hang and sit there on my walls and furniture silently mocking me of what used to be, how good things once were.
*crash*
How could you do this to me? How could you fucking do this to me? We could've tried one more time. You selfish bunch of son of bitches. All of you.
*crash crash*
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
*crash*
See if I care if your solo albums flop. See if I care if you come crawling back to me begging me to do it again. You broke my trust when you went and announced it to the world when I haven't even had time to realize what exactly what was going on with us, with me.
What am I supposed do?
I still love the music we made. I have my real estate, yes, and I have my family and charity works...but what about me?What about what I want? Can't I be the selfish one just this once?
So I said I wanted to do a spainish album, that didn't mean I wanted to be all alone. Just cut off from the one safety net I thought I still had- as holey and worn through as it was, it was still there.
I guess I was wrong again.
Some fucking family you were.
*ring* *ring* *ring*
"This is who you're looking for. Leave a message"
beep
"Howie I know you don't want to talk to me, and I totally understand why, but you gotta believe I did this for eveyone else, I had to tell the world or no one else would've.
Howie? Howie are you ther-"
*crash*