Fuck you,
Fuck you,
Fuck you Jesus
Fuck you!
Everyone thinks that he is just a prick
but they don't know he likes to suck the dick
ya know that land is full of fuckin goats
and he's the one that sticks it down their throats
He likes to give it to the Taliban
teabags his men anytime he can
why do you think Al-Queda's leavin' base
he wants their jizz all up on his face
Chorus:
Osama's a fag
he likes those sandy nuts
and not only that
he likes those hairy butts
He likes to put it in the 2 hole
and smoke hella fuckin donkey pole
so my friend I just gotta say
Osama bin Laden is fuckin gay
(chorus)
I went down the the clinic the other day
my girlfriend Misty wanted throw her kid away
so I says to her, don't throw away your cash
just go into my closet and stick that thing up the hole right next your ass
Chorus:
Coathanger abortion
it's so easy to do
coathanger abortion
yank out that kid and start anew
You might think that this is morally wrong
but ya know, so is singing this here song
so make your girl, don't let her put up a fuss
just remind her of the that dead motherfuckin' fetus
(chorus)
Fuck the Yankees
may they burn in hell
they're the reason why
baseball isn't doin' so well
with no salary caps
Steinbrenner controls the league
he just buys the best
he's creating a monopoly
Chorus:
Fuck the Yankees
I hate them with all my heart
Fuck the Yankees
won't die happy till they're torn apart
Fuck the Yankees
they make baseball boring
winning constantly
it's like a perfect fucking story
and it's all bullshit
they just corrupt the game
except for maybe Bud Selig
they deserve the blame
(chorus)
Let's go Bosox
let's go Mets
anyone else
who's fuckin' left
someone else
please take away the crown
and put the Yankees
six feet underground
(chorus)
You know we all love girls that put out
but make sure she doesn't sport those G warts near her mouth
cause that's a certain kind of girl who hella gets around
she's not for you or me, let her infect the rest of the town
Chorus:
She's an HDS
hella dirt slut
She's an HDS
don't wanna stick it in her butt
Now I know you love sluts, but let me make it clear
you'd rather masterbate or make it with a queer
cause she'll ruin your life and make you chronically ill
while she's on the corner suckin' a dick for a 5 dollar bill
(chorus)
So my friends, I hope you know these girls are not for you
leave them for the bums, ya know the ones that eat their own poo
cause that's how gross and that's how dirty an HDS can be
cause if you sleep with one, my friend you're fucked indefinately
(chorus)
Circuses and carnivials used to be so much fun
but as I grew older I only dreamt of masterbation
but it wasn't about girls from the present or the past
all I want to do is stick it in a clown's ass
They're all I dream about
so all I wanna shout is...
Chorus:
I'm beating off a clown
then I'm going downtown
to turn his frown upside-down
and pound him in the brown
Just gimme bozo
I wanna jerk him off
make him cum on my face
like David Hasselhouf
And if you think I'm wierd
well I don't really care
cause I'm a clownaholic
wanna lick their anus hair
They're all I wanna do, all i dream about
don't make fun, all I wanna shout is...
(chorus)
Shitting in your pants
is really fucking sad
but what's even worse
is a colostomy bag
I'm 84 years old
and can't control my own ass
so the doctors gave me
an intestinal bypass
Chorus:
Empty my colostomy bag
hey brother, don't be a fag
just wipe it out with a rag
empty my colostomy bag
My bag is filling up
to the very top
please don't yell at me
I cannot make it stop
Unscrew the little hose
and grab it by the ends
I'm jealous of Gertrude
cause she gets to wear Depends
(chorus)
Hey you with the shopping bag
empty my colostomy bag
Hey you Bea Arthur you stupid hag
empty my colostomy bag
Hey you flaming homo fag
empty my colostomy bag
Hey you with the boobs who sag
empty my colostomy bag!
(chorus)
Chorus:
Herpes are funny until you get them
Herpes are funny until you get them
I always thought they were zits
until I got them on my girlfriends tits
We learned in health class that STD's are bad
but that doesn't stop us from herpes or the clap
but in the end who gives a shit if you're the defected
make fun and laugh at those retards who are infected
(chorus)
You may think I'm an asshole who's not mature at all
and I'd come back to you and punch you in the balls
so laugh and laugh and laugh some more at all those pimpled freaks
cause herpes will live in your crotch for 386 weeks
(chorus)
Oh shit I got them...
After 3 long months and cases of beer
went down to the station where 3 cops did appear
domestic abuse was the charge against me
but that's how I love her, do it physically
The said what's goin' on in that combed-over head
my doctors said I was halfway braindead
but this is my reason, and it' from the heart
I can't begin to love her till the bleedin' starts
Chorus:
I hit her because I love her
a shot to the eye and the jugular
4 missing teeth and compound fracture
I hit her because I love her
So now I'm sitting here in this dank old cell
my cellmate Tiny is gonna make my life a living hell
I wish I hadn't beatin my wife to shit
cause now Tiny's gonna be the one packin' it
(chorus)
Now I'm crying here, starting to wonder
why the hell I had to love her
Don't go down to Chelsea Piers
or Salsaiito
cause they're full of hella fruits
and tons of flaming homos
If you want some hairy butts
and hairy nuts to boot
that's your deal, I got no beef
just stay clear of my poopshit
Chorus:
Pillowbiters
pillowbiters incorperated!
Pillowbiters
pillowbiters incorperated!
Using gerbils to navigate
down the dirty highway
always shopping at designer stores
and marching in gay pride parades
They got that crazy lisp
and they fight like girls
I don't understand why
Brad Pitt makes their dicks unfurl
(chorus)