Once again I'm actually updating the web site. I've been pretty busy. Last month on the 19th for our 2 year anniversary we went to Las Vegas It was fun. We did some gambling, some buffet eating, and watched cirque du soleil. (I think thats how you spell it). We took a lot of pictures, so you better check it out. Stay posted for the Las Vegas photogallery. Pretty cool pictures! Anyways, we recently also went to another wedding. Not my dads, but her cousin Sarah. It was nice. The cool thing is that during the tradition garter toss and the boquet toss over the shoulder, Rachel caught the flowers, and I caught the garter. How kick ass was that. So it's just another reason that we were meant to be together. Anyways, stay posted for pictures from that wedding too. Along with that, July 4th was yesterday and we had a lot of fun. We went to Rachels grandmothers house in Sun City. It was nice to see all her family together. After that we went to Cerritos to watch some fireworks. It was a good show. After that we went to Artesia Park to light our own fire works. You know the weird thing is that sometimes we dont even think of the reason why we are actually lighting fireworks. Sure we know it's independence day for America. But, do we actually reflect on all the stories and history on it. Probably not. We just know it as a day we light fireworks and have family get togethers and its another reason why we as a country have a day off so we could drink alcohol Oh well.... Anyways. Sometimes we all need to reflect some on the great history of our kick ass country. Seriously! The thing that is so sad though is that we see so many U.S. flags all over the place. From peoples vehicles to big flags outside peoples homes. Recently in the paper, they were talking about how other countries makes the United States flag and is making a lot of money from the ones they made in comparison to the flags that are made in the good ol U.S. of A! Anyways..... another sad thing that happened on the 4th is that some Israeli (I think thats what he was) risked his own life to freakin kill 2 or 3 people, pistol whip someone and injure another somehow, and he ended up shot but security. Now think about it. Public officials stated they are not sure if this was a terrorist action. Oh come on now. Hello. How stupid is that. I'm not even going into that. But anyhow, this guy knew he was going to die, and in his head he knew that he was not going to see his family again. How dumb is that. Complete idiot. I dont understand. All I gotta say is that he messed up his own life and messed up the victim and their families too. Not just his. FREAKIN FAGGOT!! I've been up to a lot and a lot is going on in the world right now. I guess this is the lesson for the day. I am not going to let some freakin foreign faggots ruin my life and make me stay at home and that I live in fear. Sure, none of us want to die, but dang, life too short to live like a terrorist or to be a victim of one. Have fun, and create memories!

*6/9/02 Sunday 3:15am

Well here I am.. I haven't updated my thoughts page for almost a month.. Well this month was pretty busy. My dad is married! It was so much fun and it was nice to see my mothers side at the wedding. Check out the pictures! It must be hard for them to go and attend but it was well appreciated. Hmm... what else have I been up too? Recently I was sick as a dog. I had a temperature of 102.4. I was burning. How did I catch it? Earlier this week I went to do some bone density studies on some foreign business men from Japan. I honestly think they gave me something. Some type of Virus. I was shaking, week, coughing, and just plain felt like I was slowly dying. Thank god for medecine. I took some Tequin wich is a antibiotic strong enough to kill Anthrax. Other than that I haven't been up to that much, other than working, cleaning, sleeping and pooping... Busy month though.. So I guess the thought of the day is.............. Sometimes we're so busy that we can't keep in touch with others........ I will make an effort though to update this thing. Thanks for the loyal loggers that check this out still! If I dont update my thoughts page i'm usually working on a new photogallery!!!

*5/13/02 Monday 8:20pm

Dang I am freakin tired. I started work at 5:30 in the morning for some quikstar physicals. Pretty interesting. All I know is that these people are from other states and they adore it here in Southern California. They dont' even want to leave. They think this place is heaven. After that I went to work at the usual site and stayed there till 2:30 pm. Yeah, kinda early compared to 6:30 the usual time. Anyways, after that I picked up boo and went to TJ's to get a nice sub. We wanted something refreshing and cool cuz it was hot today, but at the same time filling. Next we went to the Cerritos Mall to find certain things Rachel needs for my dads wedding. After that we went to the Cerritos Millineum Library and following that we went to Best Buy. Dang I miss Cerritos. So hmm... two thoughts for the day. One is was nice to get off work early to do things in the afternoon. So change is nice once in a while. The last thought of the day. You don't realize how special southern California is until someone points out all the good qualities and sites we have rather than the typical stereotype people have because of the news and rumors. I better get to bed cuz dang I'm tired!

*5/12/02 Sunday 11:10pm

Alright, I think the Lakers purposely dont try to win until the fourth quarter. They just want to make the playoffs a little interesting and get some ratings up for NBC or something. Dang they won again!!! HELL YA!! THREE PEAT COMING BABY! So what did I do today. I first went to Fely's place and picked up a vacuum for the apartment. Dang we need one pretty bad. Then from there I went to visit my grandma. It was nice to see her. She was very hapy to see me. I bought some flower for mothers day and she was smiling like a baby seeing candy. She gave me so many compilments and that she is proud of whom I am and that my mother would be proud. Pretty cool to here that stuff. Anyways.. we chatted and it was nice seeing her. She needs to get a check up and see the Dr. sometime soon. After that I went to visit my mom at the cemetary. The place was really busy. I didn't stay that long, but I left some flowers. Wish she was around on mothers day. Anyways, after that I went back to the apartment and watched the LAKER game. Let met think of the thought of the day. Hmm.... People that you haven't scene in a long time can make you feel special when you least expect it. Sometimes, the people that seem busy are often thinking of you more than you actually think.

*5/10/02 Friday 11:50

Okay today was a pretty good day. Highlight of the day for me was the Los Angeles Lakers winning over the San Antonio Spurs!! They have a 2-1 lead heading into Sundays game!! Hell ya. You know, to all the dedicated Lakers fans, we cheer and we yell and we practically cry to urge and support our beloved team. We use our voices and emotions as much as we can to the point that we think we are helping the team, coaching the team, and cheering the team thinking they could hear it in San Antonio. Does it work? I dont know, but dang it sure seems like it. I have last years Laker Flag on my car again. I was so happy the won today. After that I went out with Rachel to Norms. They changed their chicken strips and hot chocolate. So what is todays thought of the day. I guess it is "The Lakers Kick Ass". It's really not a thought, it's a fact!

*5/05/02 Sunday 11:14 pm

Okay it has been a while since I have updated this dang thing. I've been up to a lot. Anyways, I had a great time this weekend. I went to Lake Arrowhead this weekend with Brock, his lady, and another couple. I'll put those pictures up. We had a great time. In fact I have never scene Brock that jacked up in my life. We spent sometime in big bear on Saturday. Brock took us to this little place called Magic Mountain. Not six flags though but it's pretty neat. All of us had to ride lifts to go up the mountain and ride down with these sleds. It was so much fun. After that we tried to go watch spider man and it was sold out. Funny thing is that it's probably the only theatre on the entire mountain so what else do you expect. Anyways, we decided to go to town and have dinner. Pretty good food. Funny thing is that we were all interacial relationships and everyone was staring. From there we went to the market and got some stuff ready for what is to come in the evening. That means alcohol, alcohol, alcohol. We played spoons,and Brock was lit. We ehtne went to bed and the next morning we came back to home. In the evening we went to Don Jose to celebrate Cinco De Mayo. I know, I know, Don Jose's isn't really mexican food but it's the closest thing. I got a 42 oz margarita. Mmmm.... Good... So I guess here is the reason why I am writing all these events this weekend. I always write about work and difficult times, but hey it's nice to reflect on the stuff why we work. We work to have a good time, and not to think about work when we earned our money and time off. So, a weekend without thinking of work was great. Sometimes we need to look at ourselves and realize what life is about. Work, or having a good time?

*2/25/02 Monday 11:46 pm

I have this stupid stomach flu thing going on. It really sucks donkey balls. I constantly cough and each time I eat or pretty damn close each time, I freakin throw up. Damn it! I hate it! Wish I could just get rid of this freakin thing. I haven't had a good night sleep in such a long time. I even get tired at work because of the lack energy. In fact between this sentence and the last sentence I freakin threw up. I swear. No freakin lie! Well... I better get off the computer and try to get myself better and drink some water. Adios and good night. No lesson or moral today..... oh wait. here's one. If you dont feel good, dont type on your online journal, instead take care of your illness. LOL.. bye

*2/21/02 Thursday 11:46 pm

To my brother Noel!!! Happy birthday man!!! You are getting freakin old, but dang you still watch cartoons and act like a kid. I guess thats what makes your personality. Happy birthday man. Wish you were up here in the area, we would have partied our asses off!!! Oh well. I hope you enjoyed it, and I will see you on Saturday!!! Then the party begins hopefully. Depends how tired I am. Funny thing today is, my friends and I went to go shoot pool like old times, and I enjoyed myself. I had a lot of fun! Then after that we went out to get a quick bite. Going out tonight reminded me of old times, we went to a pool hall we use to go to a lot and get drunk. Well guess what. You got it. I'm surprised I sobered up pretty good and here I am writing on the freakin internet. I wasn't drunk nor tipsy, just felt good! I had some good laughs and its just nice once in a while to go out and just hang out with some friends. In a sense we celebrated Noels birthday with him on the phone! LOL. We freakin decided to make a pact to go out once in every two weeks and just kick it! I will definitely cary that out! I was so tired to go out, but it was worth it, and now here I am before midnight getting ready for bed!! LOL. So here is the lesson for the day I guess. Even though you are moving on in life, it's nice to go back and hang out with the old and keep up the laughs and friendships going! Make sure you do the same!! Take care! Goodnight, I'm going to bed!

*2/20/02 Wednesday 11:14 pm

Today was a typical day. Wake up and go to work. Come home and rest. Prepare myself for the next day and its events. What events is it? You guessed it. Work! How sad huh. Now where I work is great. If I had didn't have to work sure I wouldn't but since i have to, then I'm glad I'm there. It's just sad to know that our day revolves around work. Think about it! I have this terrible cough right now, and I just want to get rid of it. I dont feel to good. I'm tired plus a little sick. As soon as I got home from work, I crashed!! I think I should get some more rest to prepare for tomorrow. How sad!! What about you, should you be reading, don't you have to get ready for tomorrow?

*2/20/02 Wednesday 1:04 am

Okay here I am once again going to bed late. How late do you guys go to bed? I dont know why, why i got to bed so damn late but oh well. Here I am at 1 in the morning and I have to work in about 8 hours. How nuts is that. I bitch about not enough sleep but I do nothing about it. Every monring I struggle waking up and I'm so freakin tired after work? Anyways, today or actually yesterday was our year and 8 month monthaversary. Pretty cool huh! And still doing good. I'm so happy about it! It was so nice cuz we had lunch together and after she got out of work, she made dinner. It was so good! Anyways, just wanted to let everyone know what is up for today. I have to get going cuz i should get to bed and I gotta enjoy what is left of the night for our annimotherversary. Don't think dirty!! Adios and sayonara!!

*2/18/02 Sunday 1:09 am

Here I am, chillin on a early monday morning. Rachels mom just arrived a few hours ago. Not that its bad she's here or anything, but have you ever been in a situation that you haven't scene a person in such a long time that you dont even know what to say. It's not like you don't like them or dont feel like you don't want to talk, cuz you actually want to talk to them or say as much as you can, and catch up with lost time, but you can't for some reason. It's weird to see that happen. Not to much was said, and it was like jibber jabber talk. That happens, and dang who knows why. Anyways, I guess the thought for the day is, "When someone comes along that you haven't scene in such a long time, the moment of silence or the moment you have to force something to talk about usually might me two things. You either think they are still around and close to you, that you feel that there isn't that much lost time, or there is sometime of lost time that you feel remorse or some type of resentment." Think about it!

*2/13/02 Wednesday 12:08 am

Dang can you believe I'm up this late. I can't. I need to cut this habbit.....I think I would have more energy if I didn't sleep this late. Then again, every night I do get about 7-8 hours of sleep. I wake up everyday around 8:30. Well, guess what I'm not a millionare. Not yet. No one won the lotto, so my co-workers and I put in 5 dollars each, which is going to get us the winning ticket and we are going to split 122 million dollars. Hip Hip HOORAY!! Anywho, I got to new fishes that I bought yesterday. I finally got my Lionfish that I wanted for the longest freaking time. HERE FISHY FISHY FISHY!! Plus I purchased a Coral Beauty! It's very pretty (damn i used the word pretty). Oh well. They are the coolest looking fish, too bad I never get to see them. They keep hiding inside the stupid cave and only come out once in a while. That sucks! I have a quick thought. Sometimes, if you do see the fish all the time, it wouldn't be as cool to see, but since I hardly ever get to see it, I get so excited and enjoy the quick moment. Crazy, I guess we can related to this as an analogy to some predicaments in life! Think about it!

*2/07/02 Friday 11:59pm (almost saturday)

Yawn. Boy am I tired. Hmm... Here I am on a friday night chillin back at the pad. Pretty busy day at work. Had a lot of new injuries come in at the last minute along with a physical, so I didn't get off work till about 7:00pm. We bought our lotto tickets today. All my co-workers pitched in a dollar. I think I'm feeling lucky. I feel 85 million dollars coming to my pocket. Well divided by the rest of my coworkers. But still I think I am going to have a lot of money come saturday. I hope we win. If I won, I honestly would say that I would still work. Just to remain humble. Now I dont get me wrong, I probably wont work that much longer, cuz dang I wanna retire at the age of 25! LOL. Also, Rachel's fished died today. It was a yellow tang. How sucky. I think she spent more on medicine than the cost of that fish. Poor fishy fishy fishy. So let me finish what else happened today. After work I came home to get ready to go to the orchid show, and got dressed. I looked for my pay check (we didn't get direct deposit today) and couldn't find it. I looked everywhere. I even went back to work to check if I left it in my locker. It wasn't there, so I came back home and looked all over and maybe even shi#^ed a few bricks. I was so worried and finally I found it next to my work badge on the dresser. Well I guess this is where the thought of the day comes in. "You never realize how much money you have till you almost lost it or when it's lost". Anyways...... gotta go and finish updating the rest of the web site.... Adios!

*2/07/02 Thursday 12:05 am

*2/07/02 Thursday 12:05 am

*7/22/01 Sunday 10:02 am

*10/27/00 Wednesday 6:52pm

*10/26/00 Thursday 12:51 am

Howdy there. Today was a pretty dope day at work..Actually it was just a good day over all. I'm not PMSing today! LOL It started off kind rocky. There was a new doctor at work today that kinda pissed me off at first. He wanted me to assist him on a patient that could only speek spanish. He wanted me to translate some stuff to the patient. I told him I dont know spanish, and he said "you work back office and you dont know spanish, how could you work back office?". That ticked me off. But as the day went on the day went better. I didn't make any mistakes at work today! Hooray! I feel more at ease about work after today. On my way home from work, I saw one of the cutest things. I saw two moms in a car, and each had there own kid in the back seat. A little boy and little girl. They were holding hands, and they even tried to kiss. LOL.. they were like only 3 or 4 year old. LOL Anyways, I came to the conclusions today, that I think I operate and function better when I'm relaxed. I'm a wreck when I'm stressed, but today, I was all chill, and had a great day at work. I make more mistakes when I'm nervous, worried, or stressed. I think that applies to everyone also. So hey remember to just chill out when your in a pressure situation. To top off the evening, I had a wonderful massage from Rachel! Thanks honey! I didn't think I was going to see her, because she worked 8 hours today, and got off work late. I wanted to see her bad, because on thursdays she goes to school late and most likely wont see her on thursdays. So its so wonderful to see her. Each time I look at her, and I'm with her, I get this vibe of love, and feel mushy which makes me realize I'm in love completely and I'm lucky to have the best girlfriend anyone could ask for! Shit.. its freakin 2:11 so I better get going. Take care and see you on the next update!

*10/25/00 Wednesday 1:11 am

Very good day. I'm improving at work as each day passes. Im getting more familiar with how things are runned at the clinic. I'm made less mistakes today. So thats good. Anyways, I have a few thoughts in my head. Today, some guy just walks up to me at work and says "hey wussup Steve, how have you been? Long time no see! ". Honest to goodness, I dont even know who the heck that person was. I just pretended I remembered who he was. I feel pretty bad. I hate when that happens. Sometimes though, I laugh at situations like that. Some people pretend they know so many people, but in actuality, do those people they know supposedly know, actually know them? :) Or like, someone knows my whole life story but damn I have know clue who the hell they are. LOL...I dont want to be cruel, but thats pretty sad. Oh well.... On to another thought. You know what? Whats your opinion on people stabbing you in the back? Especially if its supposedly your best/good friend. Do you think they deserve another chance if they talk shit behind your back, and try to break up your relationship. Well one of my old friends (not mentioning any names) who turned out to be a bitch, came by my work to see me today. She's asking for forgiveness and that she misses me. LOL... I feel kinda cruel but the thing is I dont forgive her. I may seem cold hearted but honestly, I dont miss her and I dont need someone who would do such cruel things to me, in my life. Even though it was my past, I think that if your cherish someone, especially your supposed good friend, then they would never do anything on purpose to hurt you. Thats why I didn't acknowledge her presence at all. You know who you are, but hey, know grudges, just move on without me in your life. :) I am especially having no freakin female coming between my relationship with Rachel. No offense if your female, but damn the female gender is evil, and honestly, I'm not trying to be close to any female right now, because majority of you just freakin bug me and disrespect what Rachel and myself got going. Now dont get me wrong, not all of you, and you know who you are. Jenni, Katrina, Candace, Michelle etc...... and a few more. All I gotta say is be resepctful and I'll be a friend. :) Another thought is that if any of you have any recommendations for an O.C. apt with 1 or 2 bedrooms please leave me a message on my message board. Maybe the fullerton area or near the 22 freeway. Thanks! I appreciate it. Im looking around the 600 to 1000 dollar range. This evening, I saw Rachel, LOL. maybe I should tell you something new huh! LOL.. No matter how many times I see her, and honestly, I couldn't even recall when was the last time I didn't see her, but I love seeing her every day. I freakin feel so moody and kinda sad if I dont see her! Honest! I love you Rachel! Thanks for coming over! I'm appreciate you coming over even though you had your had your hands all tide up at the time. LOL (inside joke) 143 always babe! Hey to everyone else. Hint hint, my b-day is around the corner! 3 more days!!

*10/24/00 Tuesday 12:03 am

Hey wussup everyone. Sorry that I haven't been updating my web page that much. As you can tell its almost a freakin month since I've updated this page. A lot has been going on. After finding my results from the test, I have been looking for a job everyday. Trying to earn some money and be in the real world. Well guess what. I found a job! I currently work for a company called IMC. That stands for Industrial Medical Clinic. Its a very busy place. I have a lot of responsibilities there, from working back office, and front office, along with being an x-ray tech. I'm working 40 hours, so dont be surprised if I dont update this as often. A lot of pressure is on my mind right now. The guy I replaced was an excellent worker. His name is Eugene. I'm kind of stressed about it because here I am trying to take his place, but I can't fill in his shoes over night, and I get this vibe that I have to be at his level already. I think I put that pressure on myself along with little hints from co-workers. The way I am, I always push myself to be the best, but I think I'm pushing myself too much. Sometimes I stress about it so much that it effects my performance at work. I make stupid mistakes. My co-workers are cool as heck though, but so much pressure on fullfilling someones shoes who knows their system and how everything runs like it's his second home.UGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! I hate being corrected, and I had to be corrected a few times at work. You know me, I never make mistakes. I've been told by a few people that I have only one down fall, that I'm a perfectionist, and that I always have to be right. I think that is so true. I like my job though. Its a great place to start a career. Its so busy that my days go by fast, except for the last 30 min. which we just fuck around the clinic. Lately too, I just want to shave off my head. Why, so I won't pull out my hair. My brother makes me want to pull my hair out. Honest. I'm not even using that as a figure of speech. I literally want to pull my hair out. I've always looked out for him, but all I know is that he's not where he's suppose to be in life right now. My plans now is to save up some money so I can move out. I'm probably going to save around 4-6 thousand so I can have some money to call back on just in case. I am definitely moving to Orange County. Dont exactly know where, but all I know is that it's in O.C.. I can't wait! I wanna be on my own. I want to be independent. I've looked foward to this my whole life, and its going to happen in a few months! HOORAY! ..... ill write more later, gotta get to bed. its late!

*9/30/00 Saturday 2:05 pm

HELL YA!!! I FREAKIN PASSED MY TEST!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I'M AN X-RAY TECH!!! Ok check it out.. I am so freakin happy! I haven't been this happy since Rachel and I got together. Right now I have perma smile like if I was drunk or something! I am in another world. I just got off the phone telling Rachel, and I still can't get over it. This is my future! This is not just a step closer to getting my two story house, my picket fence with ivy growing on it, and my dreams becoming reality because I just took 10 leaps closer! Reality in life is actually good! OH MY GOD!!.................... ................I've worked so hard for this, I've studied my ass off, I've had sleepless nights for this, I've sacrificed my social life, I've stressed, and I've never been so dedicated to anything in my whole life to get to this point. I wish you guys could totally know how I feel. It's unexplainable. It is totally true if you do work hard it pays off! I'm so overwhelmed with emotions right now. Check the message board for thanks you's............................

TO MY BOO RACHEL. Thank you. I love you babe. You are a total inspiration to me. Thanks for thinking I could do it. You are the sweetest thing that could happen to me. Rachel, I have had the two of the greatest things happen to me in the past 3 months. Love, and Success. Those two are so great together! I think they are linked together. This moment happening to me is great, but with you in my life right now it makes is even better! I love you with all my heart!!! You are a reason why I strive to work hard for the future and look foward to the future.

My mom and dad worked so hard and gave up luxury to save money to put my brother and I through school. They saved up so much money for us, and I didn't make use of it in education at all until my mom was sick. I wish my mom was here to celebrate with me and hold me and say "Congratulations"! She was my total inspiration. She is the reason why I worked so hard. Before she passed away, she only had two wishes for me. That was to finish school and make her proud. Well i freakin did it

To MOM: I DID IT MOM!!! .................... Mom I finished school, and passed my test! You can look at me now and know that your hard work has payed off! You can now say your proud, and know that I'm going to make it! Mom, I could finally lift up my chin and be proud of my academic career and hard work. My future is set. My future is starting, and it will only get better. I could finally say, I dont have a job, I have an occupation! I have a foundation to build on now! I MISS YOU MOM. I wish you were to share the joy and happiness I am feeling! If it was not for you, I wouldn't have accomplished anything in life. Even though I never was emotional around you, MOM know that I have always loved you, and always will. I Love you mom. Your wishes have been granted!

*9/29/00 Friday 1:22 pm

I woke up this morning, and started reading the newspaper. In the front page of the LA times, there was this article, about a new abortion pill that is now available for the public. You can click here to see how it works.The Food and Drug Administration gave final approval Thursday to the abortion pill RU-486, offering women the option of terminating early-stage pregnancies with drugs instead of surgery and easing the way for more doctors to provide abortion services. This pill has to be taken before 7 weeks of pregnancy. Aaron Zitner, and LA Times writer says "The pill is part of a two-drug regimen that works by causing a miscarriage and is the first approved alternative to surgical abortions, which in most cases rely on suction equipment to end a pregnancy." Its pretty interesting. Instead of going to an abortion clinic, you can get an abortion now at your family practice or your gynecologist. Hmmm..... Whats's my opinion you ask? Well I like it in a way because a lot of people that go to abortion clinics feel uncomfortable and are not provided privacy. People driving by abortion clinic see someone they know walking to it and could say "Hey I know that girl, damn she's a ho, she's getting an abortion." With this new pill I think that more privacy will be attained. Women seeking an abortion will no longer have to run a gauntlet of screaming protesters outside the steadily dwindling number of clinics around the country that perform the surgical procedure. Another good side of this is that women will be concerned more with the early stages of pregnancy. This drug encourages women to have earlier abortions. Thumbs up. Now many of these patients can get an abortion without invasive equipment or anesthetic soon after getting the news. I see a lot of down side to it though. I think the controversy of an abortion will be even raised more because people might see it more as a contraseptive rather than an abortion. Also, I think if those pills get into the wrong hands, guys might be just popping those pills in girls drinks so they wont get pregnant. Along with that, I think since its easy to get an abortion now, I feel that more abortions will occur, and girls might just open up there legs more often than they should. I fear that making this abortion pill widespread will make abortions more and more common, rather than more and more rare. Whats your opinion? Go to our message board and tell me what you think.

*9/28/00 Thursday 12:38 am

Today is Johnny's B-day. He just turned 21 thirty eight minutes ago. Crazy! I remember when he was going into 8th grade. Right now he's at T.G.I.F.'s having a few shots! GOOD BOY. I feel very lucky. All my close friends, I have known for such a long time. I've known Roland since he was born and he's 20.. Then Jenni I've known since 1993/1994. Brock since we were like 5. Heck I could go on with my whole group, but its crazy because I've known them all for at least six years. How many can say that? LOL.. How many can you've known for someone for more than 23 years. Brian could say that. Brian has known me since I was born. Heck his mom remember my mom pregnant with me. I grew up with these fellas, and as I look back, I couldn't have grown up in a better neighorhood. I've never scene or heard of a neighorhood like mine. What else happened today. I didn't see Rachel today. Yeah pretty crazy huh? Kinda sickening but, I miss her. Then today I dont see her again. It makes me value the times I spend with her more each day I dont see her.

*9/27/00 Wednesday 3:02 am

You know what, it took me an hour and 15 min to get back from Rachels pad. What a freakin joke! Interstate five was closed. Ugggggghhhhh. Hate that. Wish that freeway was done with all that construction. Then as I was sitting on the right lane, people started driving on the shoulder and passed me up. Is it me, or does that bug you too? You know what also I hate. People that change lanes the last minute before they jump onto another freeway. Hmm..on my way home, I also had this person in front of me swerving all over the place. I was scared to pass him. I thought he might be drunk. I moved over two lanes and passed him up. As I looked in his car, he was on the phone! Damn I hate that! Something needs to be done about people driving with cell phones stuck to their damn ear.What else did I hate about this drive. OK here I am not able to move up in traffic. At a complete stop. Then I here a few cars honking behind me. They're not necessarily honking at me, but dang, whats honking going to do. Move traffic. What a joke! Whats the use of honking their horn if they know that nothing can be done about moving foward. Ughhhhh...... I hate driving the freeway that late cuz the freeway is always jacked up in the middle of the night. But you think it would be easy to commute from place to place that late. Well you thought wrong. Oh my gosh, there was this old man in the fast lane going about 45 mph. Ok, ever since I got my explorer, I drive conservative and the speed limit but dang, I could run faster than that old man driving. Is there a law that takes away senior citizens liscenses away? A lot of them have no business being on the road! seriously! I know all of you relate to this one. Dont you hate it when people drive with their high beems on. Dang I hate that. I swear I'm going to carry a spot light in my car and flash it at people with their high beems on and blind their asses! Also, I dont mind driving in traffic that much, but I hate seeing the same people next to me in traffic. They keep staring. Ok.. duh.. do i look different a minute ago. Why do they keep on staring. Funny thing happened. OK. here I am in traffic and I see this girl. Starts looking, staring, & asks what my name is.. OK HELLO!!! What the heck, lets meet someone on a freeway! Pretty gay! Girl hitting on me! Pretty gay! Thumbs down on that. Thumbs down on the five freeway!All that happened on my way home, and that didn't help my headache at all.

*9/26/00 Tuesday 4:17 am

Ok as you can tell, I still have this sleeping disorder/crap going on. Its freakin late as heck, and I'm still wide awake! Any of you have some advise? If you do, leave it on the message board in the Rachel/Steve page. Man I'm tired of this. Anyways... Have you been watching the Olympics? Gosh I love it. I think watching that touches every U.S. Citizens heart and makes them say hey, I'm proud to live in this country. The United States is kicking ass!!! They have the most medals than any other country right now. There is no other country in the universe thats better than the United States. On to another subject. Today I went to the beach. My friends and I got followed the whole time. Why? Because we weren't locals or because the majority of us were minorities. Ok.. I'm not one to really talk about this stuff, its just lately, I've been noticing a lot of prejudice instances and people lately. Now, my friend and I went to a store. Just looking around, and we got followed by these assholes. Then we walked around to other shops, and they followed us even more. Dang I wanted to kick there ass! I didn't do anything physically to them. Noticed i said physically. I talked a lot of shit to them though. I just feel that isn't right at all. I thought that was jacked up. I didnt take a personal offense but my friends did, and I felt so bad for them. . Hmm... as I'm sitting here, early in the morning, I'm thinking of several things... one.. when am I going to get sleepy.. and two.. whats my future. Well, I wont tell you what I want in the future, other than my picket face/2 story house/4bedroom/ 3 bath house/ and a stable job but theres more to it. All I can say is that I have been thinking a lot about it. I've never really given it that much thought until this past evening and now and I'm loving it.

*9/23/00 Saturday 8:45 am

This time it actually is 8:45 am, and I did get up early. I didn't get that much sleep though. Want to knw why? Last night, I stayed at my girlfriends house really late. I stayed there till about 5:30 or so. Pretty late huh? Well, I still had to drive home and I felt like I was able to, but as soon as I started driving, what a freakin joke. There was no way I was going to make it home all the way from Santa Ana. I decided to take a nap in my Explorer in the city of Placentia where I was the other night. I slept in front of that donut store for about 3 hours. It's kind of scary to sleep in a car, and second its not that comfortable...... Ok on to another subject. Here's some advise! Remember, your boyfriend/girlfriend isn't just your bf/gf.... they are also suppose to be your best friend too. I know this because my girl is my best friend, and I've never been so open, and it feels so good to know she's my friend at the same time! Hey wasn't yesterday a beautiful! It rained! YES!!! Loved every single drop! My rain maker is working boo!

*9/21/00 Thursday 8:30 am

Ok. check this out.... I'm actually up early... surprised! I'm surprised myself. The weather is so grey right now. I love it!!!!! Love this damn weather! Gosh its a beautiful day, I'm up early, and I'm full of energy in the morning. How weird! I kinda slept early last night. I fell asleep around 2:45. I think. At least I wasn't in or past the hour of 3. On my way home from my girlfriends house last night, I decided to take streets all the way home. It was a long drive! I had an interesting drive though. Wait.. I just got interupted by my dad... ok this is halarious..... he said he's leaving.... and I said "where are you going so early".. he said to work... I asked why is he going to work early... he said its one o'clock. LOL...When I was coming downstairs, I looked at this clock... I forgot it has a dead battery on the clock, and has been stuck on that time the last week or so. LOL.. right now its actually 1:06. LOL how funny! Damn, I slept a long time. I thought I woke up at 8:30! Anyways...... Getting back to driving last night. I took streets home all the way from Santa Ana and was pulled over by a cop. I was shitting in my pants. I couldn't believe this. I wasn't that worried because I have hair on top of my head, and two, I was in a pretty good mood considering I was pulled over, but I knew I did nothing wrong. So, he pulled me over, and was actually nice. I guess there was a robber or something, roaming around in th streets, and he fled in a Explorer, then he sat and talked to me about my Firestone tires. I think he was just checking if I was actually sober. LOL.. which I was! Then he asked me where I was heading, and I said a donut store (just to be funny). He said really, and I said ya.. To get some coffee. He wanted to go to a donut store too, so he said to follow him because he knows a good donut store. So, we got there and had a cup of coffee and talked. OK, I'm getting a kick out of this at this point, cuz I hate cops, and here I am sipping on some damn coffee! After that, my friends Monika and Karen are entering the coffee shop. How fucking crazy! Small world. I then realized I was near there apt. in Placentia, and they are on there way to work and get coffee everymorning at this donut store. The cop totally starts hitting on them. Funny because he had a wedding ring on! After that, just talked and headed home. Ok... this leads to my thoughts.... If you aren't exposed to a lot of people, you tend to be lonely, and talk your ass off. For example my brother in San Diego, and that cop I just talked about. This meaning, I think they appreciate peoples company more than you or myself. I just tend to talk my ass off just because I do. So don't think I'm lonely. LOL. Second thought: The impression of southern california to people that don't live here is that it's huge and its so uptempo that you can't even estabish friends. OK, wrong! Here I am in another county seeing some friends in the middle of the night, totally unexpected. So so-cal ain't that big, second I just established a damn conversation with a cop! How crazy is that! So those stereo types were just proven wrong. The last thought of the day is... Don't believe just one persons source. Make sure you get several peoples input before you presume or think anything. Where did I come up with that. Well, I should have looked at two different clocks to make sure I was actually looking at the right time.... LOL.. wait one more thought....... Damn today I think distinguishes a beautiful season coming up because this weather just kicks ass! The rain maker that Rachel has given me is working slowly but surely!

*9/20/00 Wednesday 1:57 am

Dang, I'm sorry, but I have a problem.. ....actually two.....First,... I dont got a job. I feel like a bum. Seriously. I feel so unproductive. I have no stories or anything interesting to say to anyone because I absolutely did nothing for the day. I just wish my test scores would come in so I can work. (thats if I passed). My second problem is that I just can't sleep! I seriously can't! Actually I can, but I sleep at such a late time.. Like around 3-6 am. I feel like a damn vampire. I feel so tired during the day and lazy, then when the evening creeps up and approaches midnight, I start to get hyper and can't sleep at a normal time! This sucks... By the time people are going to work, I'm hitting the sack, by the time people are hitting the sack, I'm still jerking off or picking my ass with all this energy and nothing to do. Well I just got done seeing my girl. It was our three month Anniversary.I feel kinda bad because when I first saw her I wasn't as energenic, or happy pappy as I usually am especially on a day like this. Then she got tired because we had a huge dinner at Islands, plus the lack of sleep, while here I am, like I said, the evening goes on and I start to get full of energy. So we were on two different energy levels today. Don't get me wrong though, we had a pleasant evening. We did a little window shopping at furnature stores in the Tustin/Irvine Market Place. It was crazy because I got a nice kick in the butt saying hey, I'm growing up. I'm actually looking for stuff for my own place! Crazy huh! Dang I still think I'm a Toys R Us kid. Anyways, after that, We went to Islands for dinner, and then went to go look at some interesting reading material at Barnes & Nobles, then kicked it at her house. Very nice evening, especially for a weekday! It's more than I expected! I honestly feel lucky to have someone like her. It's amazing how she remembers the little things that I say. . She gave me this kick ass rain maker and the cutest card I have ever read. :) Ok.. Which brings me to the last thought of the day.another "If someone is really into you, they will remember the little things." ie. Rachel

*9/17/00 Sunday 7:24 pm

I'm sorry I haven't posted any thoughts the past few days. A lot has been going on so I'm going to write a lot! This past weekend my friends, girlfriend and I had an excursion from the city and from parents. We went to Lake Arrowhead. That's the raison d'être why this page hasn't been updated. Okay, have you ever been teased, and I mean teased. What I mean by that is, have you ever wanted something so bad, and actually got it, then before you know it, it is taken away from you in a blink of an eye. That's what happened to me. I think I was in fantasy land. My emotions were in a perfect fantasy! A fantasy that I always dream about, and wish would happen one day, everyday. I loved the whole weekend. I had two things I love when I was there. Nature, and my girl. I am really disappointed that such a wonderful thing has to come to end. Have you ever slept together with your loved one over night and wake up with each other? Did you hold each other the whole night and not let go? Did you wish that it could be like that everynight? Did you find that predicament one of the most emotionally satisfing nights of your whole life? If you answer them all ya, then you know exactly how I feel.I dont think a lot of people could actually say yes to all of those! . I really can't explain how I'm feeling right now. It is now monday and the weekend is over, and our lives go back to the daily routine. reality is what I am living right now, and this weekend was a fantasy. All I can say is that reality bites. I loved waking up with my girlfriend in my arms. It kicked ass! I loved kissing in the middle of the night just because! I loved her grabbing my arm and making sure I was holding her all night. Now I have to wait till something like that happens again. :( Hmmm... Oh another thought comes into play now. My dad was telling my girlfriend a joke right... it wasn't funny to me but my girlfriend thought it was funny because my dad was telling her a nasty joke i guess.. It turns out that the nasty joke he told Rachel, was the same joke he told at this party to win a joke contest. He won 5 dollars for telling that perverted joke. After the party, he went to church. He didn't have any checks on him to give in the weekly donation, so he put that five dollars he earned from the nasty joke and put it in the donation basket.! Thats pretty funny! More funny than the joke itself.

*9/14/00 Thursday 1:49 am

Today was a descent day! Nothing to bad. In fact I feel more blessed than anything. I was going to Pep Boys to go get some car wash soap because my car needed a wash really bad. I was going to take the street named Pioneer, but decided to take the alternate route and went down Elaine St. I got the soap and went down Pioneer on my way home. Just so happens there was a fatal car accident. Two people died, and 6 cars were envolved in the accident. I was thinking, dang I could have been in that car accident! Pretty crazy. Another thing surprised me today. Have you ever been scared to turn on the news? Usually I dont like watching the news because it should be called depressing news with all the illegal activity they talk about, and deaths, fires, rapes etc...... Today was kind of different. For once they had a lot of positive news broadcasted. Some of the stuff that was mentioned was a succesfull seperation between two siamese twins, and a special 10 minute segment on local hero's. Usually they have very little positive things to report but today there was a lot! Glad to see that!

*9/12/00 - Tuesday 2:09 am

Have you ever had one of those days where you hate everyone and everything? I wouldn't say hate but just wanted to be chill and be alone. Well, I had one of those days today. It all started at the butt crack of dawn. So many people were calling my house this morning. Dang my friends know I'm like dracula and sleep so late and as of late I dont get up till ike 10 or so. Well I got like 9 phone calls this morning and people telling my dad to get me out of bed. So thats how my day started and I wasn't feeling good this morning. In fact I felt nauseated . I turned the on the TV and that only made it worse. I turned on Channel 11 Fox News, and I had to listen to some news reporter talk about how she had diarrhea and how she was vomiting this weekend. That only amplified my wonderful morning. So I changed the channel and lets just guess what was on.. Road Rules then The Real World was on.. Okay what channel was I on. What does the "M" stand for in MTV!!??? Hello!! Anyways... my evening wasn't all that either... Dani is a total bitch. Can't people tell when they are not wanted. She came by my house!! Why? To apologize! Yeah right!! Why would I accept it!! People should think before they do an action and realize how it effects people. As the night went on, I found out more depressing news. I was disappointed a little. (Not going to tell you what it is, maybe if you ask me). I just wished I saw my girl today. That would have made everything better. The only times I would say was good today is when I took a nap, and when I talked to my girl on the phone! Time to go to bed. Hopefully I have a good night and a good dream in comparison to my day!

*9/10/00 - Sunday

Ok its the day after my test. I'm not going to say if I passed or not. I'm just going to tell you that when I get my results in 2 weeks you will know. :) Pray for me!!! So what the heck am I suppose to do for 2 weeks. Literally PICK MY ASS!! Damn I just wish I could find out right now rather than shit in my pants! You know whats crazy, I didn't sleep for about 42 hours. I was running on a coffee high. Today I saw my cousin Rowell who is on vacation from the army.. It's good to see him. We had a big family party for him and my aunt who is going back on her mission to spread Catholicism in Africa. Having a big family is such a great thing. The funny thought I have about this is that, no matter what race, or how big your family is, majority of family parties are the same!! You sit around and have a grip of food out and talk and eat, talk and eat. Whats the point of family parties? To make you gain weight! It t was nice, plus I was pretty much drunk off my ass in front of my whole freakin family! I felt kinda old because it was my first time to just sit around with my dad, my uncles and cousins pounding on beers! I think I was the most drunk out of all of them! On to another thought! Yesterday I talked about a girl I hoped didn't disrespect my relationship n all, well she did. Damn it! I'm not sure if this is true, but I think girls just get attracted to people that have girlfriends. To all girls that are reading this web page... well I'm sure you read the Rachel/Steve story but I just wanted to let you know that no girl is going to interupt that story and make it into a soap opera, because remember my relationship is a fairy tail come true. Last thought. I haven't been attending church, and in fact I wouldn't say I haven't been all that spirtual at all. Only in the time of need. Pretty messed up huh? I think I need to reestablish a relationship with God once again and be persistent in prayer everyday rather than when in doubt and in need. Heck, whats one hour out of a whole week. (Catholic masses are only an hour). I brought this up because here I am begging God to guide me and help me pass my test so I can be closer to a bright future but here I am asking for his prayer in time of need. There's nothing wrong with praying in time of need but the way life is, I should praying in need everyday especially the way things are in this world!

*9/9/00 - Saturday

Damn its 4:32 (wishing it was 4:20 instead) in the morning, and I'm about 3 hours and 28 minutes till my state board test for my x ray liscence. Damn I'm nervous as heck. I am so anxious to take this fucking exam (excuse my language). I hope I'm ready. I tried to go to bed but I couldn't. So I'm trying to stay awake till the test then take a nice nap after. Hopefully its a nice nap because I did good on the test. I think I studied enough. I feel kinda confident. FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!! Sorry I didn't update my thoughts the last few days. A lots been going through my mind. I haven't been feeling good..... Let me remind you, I wasn't sick. Steve never gets sick!! I just wasn't feeling good. I had a little stuffy nose, and cough. Big Deal! So I pretty much stayed home. Did you guys see the MTV VMA's? Eminem kicked ass!! I loved his first speach!!! He tried to pull out his speach out of his pocket, but a bunch of acid tabs came out instead. I know thats totally uncalled for and unapproriate but damn, that had me rolling on the ground laughing and I was about to cry!!! Was it me or did all of the artists seem high? Well at least the ones with sunglasses!! Which was a lot of them. hint : your indoors and wearing sunglasses. LOL.. kinda obvious! Macy Gray was high as heck!!! She didn't even make sense!! Here's my version of the song "I try" but I changed her lyrics and she should have said these words instead. "I want to get high, so I toked, went to the VMA's and I stumbled! though I try to hide it, its clear, take a grip on the bong, then pass it here!" You know what, I am also coming to the conclusion now that girls are just as much as homewreckers as guys. I'm not mentioning any incident or anyone specific, but something recently made me think that. Can guys and girls actually just be friends? Or does it have to be more than that? All I know is that I hope one girl I know isn't disrespectful like this girl Irene that I know. Can't they just be happy for me instead! I WUV YOU BOO!!! Well I got about exactly 3 hours now till my test. So I better publish this and study a little more. Wish me luck!! (cross your fingers and pray for me). If I pass this test, this is my ticket to a good future!!! I will update you later today to tell you how I felt about the test! Stay tuned!

*9/6/00 - Wednesday

Well just a few more days till my big day. That big day is taking that damn freakin X-ray Tech State board test. I'm feeling pressured. I usually am good under pressure but knowing that fact that I didn't pass it my first time makes me more pressured and I've never been under pressure like this. On the bright side I only have to take one freakin test! Thats good. But its the hardest test. I've been studying, just hopefully the right stuff. I hope I do good!! Gosh just thinking about it makes me wanna pull my hair out. (I have hair now, but not enough to pull). Speaking of hair, my hair looks like doo-doo. I hate it. I want to shave it but say if I pass my test, then I have to go to job interviews and who wants to freakin hire a thug. I wish I just had hair instantly. None of this in between stage cap. Anyways, heres a thought of mine. Today I had to go to work. People know me as the loud one, or always smiling and talkative. I wasn't though. So people assumed that I was sad or upset. I hate that. I just wanted to be to myself today. No reason!! I can't be what everyone wants me to be all the time!

*9/5/00 - Tuesday

I read something in the newspaper that was very disturbing to me today. In the LA Times, there was an article that talked about this lady that was pretty much sick in the head. She had two kids. One was 3 years old and the other was an infant. If I remember right it was less than a year old. Well she freakin took the lives of her own kids. It was pretty sad!! I can't believe that someone would actually do such a thing. Why and how could you even think of such a thing. Just to bare the thought of seeing your own flesh and blood take its last breaths while looking at you. God that sucks.. And I hope she feels guilty for the rest of her life. It kind of just made my morning feel like shit! Excuse my fucking language! Anyways I dont want to depress you either so on to another thought. Today I pretty much spent the day with Rachel. It was pretty cool! I love spending time with her. At the end of the night, something she said made me think a lot. I can't really tell you what she said, but I could tell you what it made me think and realize. I realized that my relationship with her is no joke and its something real. Its not even possible to compare her to anyone. . I know its only been close to three months but damn everything just falls into place, and all the little thoughts and emotions of joyous mushy feelings come about. I have never felt like this! What she said made me realize that she isn't a typical girlfriend. Lets put it this way. Usually I make sure that my girl is happy and do anything to make her feel that way, today she showed me that it doesn't necessarily have to be that way, because she wanted to make me happy :) Have you ever scene the new firework show at Disneyland? Well thats how she makes me feel. At times in my head I'm scared things might flatline but before I know it an explosion occurs and surprises me. If you notice no two explosions are exactly the same. Thats exactly how it is. As I look at my relationship with her, I feel its like one gigantic grand finale. All these explosions are occuring while my mouth is wide open in amazement, and my mind isn't even realizing whats occuring around me and I'm just watching this beautiful display of fireworks.

*9/2/00 - Saturday

Today was my last day at work. Did they work my ass off or what! I'm going to miss that place eminently. I had mixed emotions when I was at work. Kind of torn between two major emotions. One was being happy. I felt this way because I knew I was getting closer to achieving my goals, which is to finish school and pass my test. Then to my dismay, I felt sad because I loved working there and most of my co-workers I love working with! Subsequently in the evening, I spent time with my boo Rachel. She was enervated from the lack of sleep the evening before and from a long day at work. So we decided to just kick it at my house. Usually I have to constantly talk to have a good time but its different when I'm with her. I dont have to be persistant on babbling my ass off like I'm doing right now. Towards the end of the evening Rachel and I like to hold each other. This evening like a few other times, we layed down together and held each other. Its so nice. We don't even have to talk to enjoy each others company. Just by the way she embraces me, holds me or by looking into her eyes, I know exactly how she feels, her thoughts, and what she would say if she talked. Its so cool! Its such a great feeling! I think someone that has been in love would understand what I'm talking about!