I grew up in a small town in Cavite, a province just outside of Manila. My parents were both tailors and they owned a tailor shop right in the center of the town. I have a younger sister, Lina. Both my parents came from big families and they were not able to go to college. My father finished high school but my mother was only able to finish her elementary school. My mother had been the butt of jokes of her siblings. They even called her �Bokya,� which means �nothing.� Because of this, my mother made sure that Lina and I had a good education. She sent us to a private catholic school in a nearby town. Most of my parents� siblings did not go to college either, except for a couple of my father�s siblings. Uncle Lucio was one of them. He and his family were always dressed nicely. He was a CPA (Certified Public Accountant) and he worked at a prestigious company. When I was eight years old, I told myself that I wanted to be a CPA when I grow up.
I was very fond of my father when I was a child. He always helped me with my homework and he taught me tricks on how to solve my math problems. He made math easier for me. I was very shy in school. I never talked to anybody unless they asked me something. And if they did, I would just answer the question with a quick response. At recess, I didn�t play with the kids. I just stood in one corner and watched them play until the bell rang.
Unfortunately, my parents separated when I was about 12 years old. It was devastating for me because I loved them both equally, and yet I was made to choose to live with only one of them. It was a difficult decision for me at that age. My mother didn�t want Lina and me to separate, and I knew that Lina wanted to live with my mother. I decided to live with my mother and sister. We moved to Manila and transferred to a different school. After a year, we moved back to Cavite, but in a different town.
Times were hard then and it was difficult for my mother to support her daughters financially. She applied for a working visa in Canada and luckily, her application was granted. Lina and I went back to Manila to live with our aunt, my mother�s sister. We transferred to a public school, Carlos P. Garcia High School. My mother couldn�t afford at that time to send us to a private school because she was starting a new life abroad. Lina and I understood. �When you write me letters, or call me on the phone, don�t call me Mama,� my mother told Lina and me. �Just call me Dolly, like the song Hello Dolly.� She left the Philippines in 1980. I was 15 years old; Lina was 13. It was a tough time for us. We wrote our mother regularly. We comforted each other through letters.
As I re-read these letters, I look back and reminisce my adolescence. I wonder at my innocence, my naivete, my passion and my candidness to my mother. I wrote her everything that was happening at home and at school. Although I was a very good daughter to my mother and an obedient niece to my aunt, there was a slight tinge of teen-age rebelliousness in me. I was very open to my mother about my feelings towards my very strict aunt and uncle. In fairness to my aunt and uncle, I am and always will be very grateful to them for keeping Lina and me under their care and for treating us just like their own children. Now, being a parent myself, I can only imagine the difficulties and stress that they went through in raising five children.
Originally, I translated these letters in English so that I could relate them to my children. I also want to share them with you, my dear readers. Being an adolescent is already hard as it is. We have to cope with the developing body, raging hormones and unfamiliar feelings. This transition from childhood to young adulthood can be very confusing to anybody. I went through that period of my life under unusual circumstances. I now watch my oldest son pass through this awkward stage. It will break my heart to see him go through any experience similar to the ones that I encountered. Although I know for certain, that he will, of course, experience the thrill of his first love, the pangs of that first heartbreak, the loneliness that will be brought upon by separation from family and friends, the feeling of loss and rejection, among others. Sometimes young people feel that adults don�t understand what they are going through. I just want to assure my children and other young people out there that we do. And though there may be times that they feel they are alone, they are not. We will always be with them, if not physically, then emotionally and spiritually. |
