| Hello Dolly |
| July 16, 1982 Dearest Mama, Sorry about what happened. I really tried to avoid it. But� Ely Santos phoned in the morning. Auntie Charito left right away and brought Tito Oscar with her. He�s staying here, by the way. When Auntie Charito came back, she gave me your letter and the money. She handed me P420.00 and told me to give her P50.00 for Tito Oscar. So I willingly gave it to her. I just wanted to do as she wished. I was afraid to ask her questions or reason with her as she might think that I was talking back. Then I read your letter. To my understanding, you clearly wrote that aside from our allowance from the $100.00, we also get the fifty dollars for our expenses. I thought she hadn�t exchanged the $50.00 yet that�s why she gave me only P370.00. So I just kept quiet. When Lina read your letter (she wasn�t here when I got it), I told her that Auntie Charito gave me only P370.00. So a day passed and she still did not give us the rest of the money. She didn�t even mention it. Lina and I hesitated. Lina was pressing me to ask Auntie since she needed the money for her CAT uniform and NCEE fee. I really wanted to ask Auntie because we really needed stuff. Like I needed to replace my school shoes as it had been worn out by the rain. But I was really afraid to ask her. She makes a big deal out of the littlest things. So Lina mustered up the courage to ask her. We had been planning it since yesterday. I told her to ask very nicely. But then, the very thing that we were scared of happened. Auntie Charito got mad. She even showed us your letter to her. It also clearly stated there that aside from our allowance, we still get the $50.00. But she still insisted that she gets the $100.00 and we only get $50.00. We didn�t argue with her anymore. She said that she doesn�t like it when we doubt her. Then she asked us if we wanted to call you to clear it up. I told her no because I didn�t want to disturb you. And I knew that trouble would follow. But she still called you. It just added to your phone bill and for what? Just to be cursed and hang up on. Ma, I�m sorry. But we just can�t avoid troubles like this. She always finds faults in us, even the littlest things. She even told us that it�s just a small amount of money that we were trying to get from her. She said that we are very materialistic. I just thought, it might be a small amount to her but to us, it�s of big value. You worked hard for that money. Lina and I could buy a lot of things with that. She will just use it for shopping. She asked us if we wanted her to bring us to Papa. I would have wanted that just so we could leave this place. But I knew that you don�t want us to live with him. So I told Auntie Charito that I wanted to stay here. (Even if it�s against our wishes.) You know, Lina and I had been thinking of leaving. That�s why I wanted very much to go to UP. There is board and lodging at the Diliman campus and aside from the regular allowance, I would also get book allowance. But Auntie Charito didn�t want me to go there. She wanted to keep an eye on me. I�ve also realized that if we push through with that plan, it could affect our studies. We don�t want that to happen. My plan now is to be a working student so I can help with the expenses. That�s the reason I wanted a typewriter. I could get typing jobs here at home. Ma, if I could get a job, I think I can support my studies and I would suggest that you just come back home. But I also realize how hard work can be here for you. I shouldn�t have passed up that offer from UP. Imagine, they were willing to pay for my studies and I declined it. Auntie Charito is acting like a king, can�t break her orders. And Ma, why don�t you try to reconcile with Papa? I don�t believe that you don�t love him anymore. Even Papa, I know that he still loves you. Why don�t you give it another chance? Let us start a new life. Let us forget the past. Let us forgive whoever was at fault. If HE, up there, had forgiven us, why can�t we forgive each other? It�s not yet too late. Ma, I hope that you will think about this. Sige ma, until here. Sorry ha. Why did this have to happen when you are sick? Okay, take care. Love, Irene |
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