| Chapter 1
It was quiet. Normally Monster Records was swimming with customers by now. Was something going on that Ginny hadn�t planned on? She felt herself pacing up and down the aisles, trying her hardest not to bite on her nails. She had finally broken the habit, she�d be damned if she started again. Stopping in the middle of one of the aisles, Ginny raised her hands up to rest on the top of her head. �Why is it so dead?� She heard herself yell and suddenly all her coworkers eyes were on her. Not caring that she was now being watched, Ginny shook her head and went up the spiral staircase to her office. Ok, so technically it wasn�t her office but the store manager was always out of town on �business� so Ginny was in charge more often than not. Slamming the door shut behind her, Ginny tried to sit at her desk and focus on some paperwork that needed to be filled out for the new hiring policies, but she failed miserably and stood up to pace the floor once again. What�s wrong with you? �Shut up.� Ginny placed her hands on her ears as though she could shut out the voices. But how could you shut out the voices that were in your own head? �I�m not crazy� Of course you�re not. You�ve just been obsessing over the same thing for eleven years. Completely normal. �Why can�t I just forget about him?� Because you were in love with him and he never even tried to keep in touch with you. Hurts like hell doesn�t it? Getting sick of talking to herself, Ginny went over to the stereo and turned on whatever CD was currently occupying it and turned the volume up as loud as it could go. Her inner demons had to be able to be silenced somehow. Why did her past always come back to haunt her? Not only did she have to see the few reminders of her old friend that she had left, but the memories had to come back as well? It had been two weeks ago, why was it still fresh in her mind? She couldn�t handle it. She couldn�t do this again. Not only did her mind reel with thoughts of him, but thinking of him brought back other memories. Memories that were far more painful to think about. Memories of a time that had put her in therapy for the greater part of the past ten years. Continuing to ware tracks into the carpet, Ginny took deep breaths in, held them for a few moments and slowly released them, hoping to calm her frazzled nerves. He�s gone now. He can�t hurt you anymore. �No matter what he�s always going to hurt me.� --- Watching Ginny storm up to her office after her little outburst, Kelsey found herself in a dilemma. She and Ginny had been good friends since Ginny had moved to New York two years ago. She liked to think that they shared everything. So what was going on with her now? It couldn�t just be the slow day they were all having. They had faced many slow days at work before this one. Why was today so different? Feeling a tap on her shoulder, Kelsey tore her gaze away from the office door and looked to her right. �Think something�s going on with her today?� �Gee, what could have possibly given you that idea, Kelton?� Rolling her eyes, Kelsey told the obnoxious delinquent to watch the cash register, in case by some strange chance a customer actually rolled in, and left the cashier station. Not wasting any time, she walked straight up the curvy stairs and knocked on the glass door. Music had begun to blare from behind the closed door so loudly, Kelsey wouldn�t have been surprised if Ginny didn�t hear her. �Ginny!� she called out as she knocked once again. When there was no answer, she banged on the door harder and longer. �Ginny, open the door!� Finally the music was turned down and Ginny opened the office door, looking more frazzled than Kelsey could ever remember having seen her. �What?� �Are you ok?� �I�m fine.� Feeling like she had rushed the answer just a little too fast, Ginny closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose before trying again. �I had a long night. I guess I�m just tired.� Looking around her, Kelsey saw a few pairs of nosey eyes and gently pushed Ginny into the office before closing the door to give them some privacy. �Ginny, I�m worried about you.� �Why? Kels, I�m fine.� �No you�re not. Ginny, have you looked at yourself lately? You have circles under your bloodshot eyes, you�re pale, and I don�t mean the nice pale like me. You�re sickly pale. You look like you haven�t slept or even eaten in days. What�s up?� Crossing her arms over her chest, Kelsey leaned back on her leg, staring into Ginny�s wandering brown eyes. Why wouldn�t she look at her? She looked nervous, like someone was hunting her down and it was only a matter of seconds before they caught her, slaughtering her like cattle. She had only seen her act this way once. Suddenly it hit her. �You�re having the nightmares again, aren�t you?� Meeting her friend�s eyes for the first time in a while, Ginny felt the tickling in her throat and knew she was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. She had been doing so good. Why did she deserve this? Unable to form the words, she simply nodded her head yes. �When did they start up again?� �Two weeks ago.� �Why didn�t you tell me?� Taking her arm, Kelsey led Ginny over to the chair at the side of the room and sat her down. �I didn�t want to worry you. I haven�t had a nightmare in over a year.� �So why are you now?� Seeing her start to shake her head, Kelsey cut her off. �Don�t lie to me, Gennivive Sawyer!� Startled, Ginny felt her mouth open in shock. She hadn�t spoken to her in that authoritative tone in a while. But she understood where it came from. Leaning back in the leather chair, Ginny gave in. �A couple weeks ago I was digging around in my closet for an old necklace and a box fell on my head.� �Which could explain you talking to yourself.� Kelsey let out a small laugh and Ginny appreciated the effort in trying to make her smile, but she was too miserable. �It was a box full of memories from my past. Things I haven�t thought of in a long time. But when that box came rushing down so did everything else. All these walls I�ve built up to protect myself, every sense of self confidence.� Shaking her head, Ginny wiped away the tears before they had the chance to fall. �I can�t become that person again, Kelsey. I won�t.� �Then fight it. He can�t get you now. He hasn�t been able to for the past nine years.� �I know.� Continuing to rub her friend�s back in a consoling fashion, Kelsey closed her eyes. �Why don�t you go home? Get some sleep?� �I can�t sleep. I�ve tried. Believe me I�ve tried.� She let out a pitiful laugh and hung her head. All she had wanted to do was sleep but every time she closed her eyes and felt herself slipping into the unconsciousness state she wanted to retreat to so badly, the dreams came. No, she had to stay awake. It was the only way it couldn�t wrap itself around her and take her back in to her hurtful past. A knock on the door startled the women and Kelsey hopped up to see who it was. �Kelton, you�re supposed to be watching the register for me.� �I know, but there�s someone here for Ginny.� �Who?� Ginny suddenly found her voice and felt the fear slowly seeping into her. �Some guy named Trace. Ring a bell?� All feeling rushed from her body and she felt like she could sink to the floor in a puddle of her own tears. �Trace?� Kelsey didn�t know who this Trace guy was, but seeing the reaction hearing the name caused Ginny, she was sure she didn�t want him here. �Kelton, I don�t think Ginny�s up to seeing anyone today. Could you please tell him to leave?� �No!� Ginny immediately stopped him from going down stairs and looked at her best friend. �It�s ok. I haven�t seen him in years. I�d like to see him.� �You sure?� �I�m sure.� For the first time in a long time, Ginny felt her face contort with a huge grin plastered across her face. Why was he here? It had been so long since they has seen each other last. Something inside her head screamed that this just wasn�t a social visit but she was sick and tired of being paranoid. It had been far too long since she�d been in his arms, she needed this. Throwing open the office door, Ginny wasted no time in running down the stairs, as carefully as possible in her heels, and went straight up to the shorter man. �Trace?� Her voice was soft and a bit shaky, but he heard her all the same. He turned around and his face lit up as soon as his eyes landed on her. �Gennivive Sawyer, is that you?� She didn�t miss the way his eyes moved fluidly up and down her body with appreciation. For once, it didn�t make her uncomfortable. Whether it was because she had a past with this man, she didn�t know. But she couldn�t help but to wrap her arms around him and revel in the natural way they fit together. �I missed you, Tracy.� �Oh man, I haven�t missed that name.� She noticed how he had immediately responded to the hug, not pulling away even remotely. God, she needed this. How was it possible to need something so badly and not even realize it until it happened? She could feel the tears forming in her eyes and she tried desperately not to let them fall. Finally pulling away, Ginny wiped her eyes and felt her cheeks redden under his quizzical gaze. A soft smile curved his lips and he put a hand up to her face. �Hey, why the tears?� �It�s been so long. I figured you�d forgotten about me.� Something inside him immediately hardened and Ginny knew what he was thinking, but he�d never admit it. Not to her, nor anyone else. �Ginny, I could never forget about you.� she could read in his eyes the rest of that sentence. He wanted to make a comment but he would never bring it up. And for that she was grateful. Clearing her throat, Ginny changed the subject. �So, what are you doing here?� Looking around them, Trace decided he didn�t really want to talk to her with all these people around, able to hear the conversation. He�d always been more of a private person. Especially when it came to Gigi. �You know what? Why don�t we go grab some lunch. Can you take a break?� When she narrowed her eyes at him, Trace knew she had caught on. This really wasn�t a social call. As much as he had wanted to see her again, this wasn�t the time to really catch up on old times. He needed to speak to her and he needed to do it now. �Yeah. Just let me go grab my purse and jacket.� She went back up to the office and when she came back down, she let Kelsey know she was leaving for a little while so she�d be in charge. Of course she didn�t object. Maybe seeing an old friend is just what Ginny needed. BACK HOME NEXT |