Hear them preaching from their pulpits
Did you hear it too, about Spongebob being gay?
Clearly the cartoon sponge is the latest of the culprits
Just like those damn evolutionary biologists who are always in the way
They say that there's some sort of intelligent designer
But I think they have to be high
I've seen land mines that look finer
Or at least I think that's what I saw on "Queer Eye"
I'll have to consult my TV guide
Oh look, a tolerance special at eight
They say the rednecks are coming, and I should hide
I think political correctness was the bait?
But wait, there's more! We're throwing in a free war!
And if we invade today we get to install democracy, America style
Although coming up with excuses to fight is a bit of a chore
Oh well, the public will never learn if they don't touch that dial
But this just in, we got you the scope
Of a new Paris Hilton sex video filmed on the set of "A Simple Life"
Right after we play this five million dollar advertising loop
Hey, don't you want to go under the knife?
You'll be so pretty and plastic
Just like a Barbie doll, just not so spastic
Unrealistic standards, what the hell are you talking about?
Looking that way will give you higher clout
Have you heard the one about the loyal opposition?
Me either, I guess they have just gone fishin'
So let's go abort this whole stem cell deal
And by lunch we'll have the disenfranchised under our heel
They say that it's different, it's 2005!
And that ladies and gentlemen is the state of the union
Thank God, it's so beautiful to be alive
Writing in rhyming verse while I'm fumin'
I pledge allegiance to the flag
Oh nevermind, I not never got taught that
It's just as well, Lady Liberty grew into a bit of a hag
The nation's future is probably better in the hands of a cat
In God we trust as we spend more each day
As big shot businessmen emulate their hero, Kenneth Lay
Got a problem? Why not take this pill?
It's sure to fix all the problems associated with going over the hill
Fox news reports that a terrorist attack is going to hit a city
I'm not sure if they mean Michael Moore, but he's sure looking pretty
Remember that time before this four more years blight?
Oh yeah, I remember John Kerry - I mean 'Clinton Lite®'
"Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?"
I guess after he was left behind, the President had a yearning
To show the world that C students can become President
Well, just as long as you make sure you're a resident
And aren't you lucky? You got a degree
But that doesn't matter, there's cheaper labor
So that piece of paper means nothing in this international economy
So "do you want fries with that?" turned out to be a life saver
