Better Red (Wire) Than DeadBetter Red (Wire) Than Dead
Not many people know this, but the producers of red wire are an extremely powerful lobbying group in Washington. Of course, they ought to be….since they made the President! That’s right, President George W. Bush is a robot created by the extremely evil red wire company. As a matter of fact, most of the Bush administration was created by the red wire company. Colin Powell was created by a blue wire company, and that’s why nobody ever listens to him. (Everybody knows that blue wire robots are stupid, DUH!)
Of course, this isn’t the worst part about the wretched red wire company. Have you ever seen a movie featuring a bomb in it? Good for you. Now, what wire do they always cut? That’s right, the red wire. You may be wondering why this is a bad thing. Well, during these wire cutting scenes there are subliminiminiable messages floating around. These subliminiminiable messages include forcing Webster to spell the word subliminal as “subliminiminiable,” and more importantly to buy more red wire. They aren’t just using action movies to get this message across either. I recently saw the character “Roger the Red Wire” in a children’s show. Take a look and decide for yourself.
The message is clear here. If you don’t cut Roger in half, he’ll go to hell for all eternity. No kid wants to be responsible for the damning of a cartoon wire’s soul. Now you may be saying, what is so evil about this red wire company anyway? They’re just brainwashing people to make more money, and they just control the administration. So what? Well these things might not seem so bad to you, and well they aren’t. The reason why the red wire company is evil is because they want to spread COMMUNISM! It’s quite obvious. The wires are red; the flag of a communist is red. The only thing we can do as Americans, no, as human beings is to apply the Domino Theory on the red wire companies. That’s right; we declare a war of these red wire commie bastards with Colin Powell’s backing. These pinkos must be stopped for the good of mankind!
