The Only Problem With Porches Is...The Only Problem With Porches Is...
I got a new Porche today. Well, actually I didn't. I'm lying profusely because I always thought lying profusely would get people to like me more. Pretending to be someone else obviously would make people enjoy my company more because it's like I'm two people or something! Anyway, I thought that typing this out in a blog would make my billions of blog reading fans squeal out in delight and cry something about fathering my love child or something, despite the fact that they are men. I dunno how that works, but that has nothing to do with my fabricated Porche.
So I got a new Porche today, and this time I'm not lying I swear. It's a magical Porche that can turn into both an airplane and a suitcase for easy stowing in it's own overhead compartment. I'm not really sure how that would work, but I assume the designers want you to buy two magical Porches to do that. Yeah whatever, anyway did I mention that this thing runs on dreams? It's pretty cool, this baby doesn't need any of that antique fossil fuel. All you have to do to power the care is sleep in it once a day and it'll absorb your dreams as fool. The only problem with it is that the process of storing the dream power shortens your life dramatically. It doesn't matter though, since the amount of money you're saving on gas is worth more then the five or six years you're shaving off your life. Life is all about money after all!
Anyway, my new magical morphing Porche is awesome and totally not a complete fabrication. Tune in next blog and I'll describe how to create a land mine out of some pine cones and a lawn gnome drenched in orange juice!
