I'm sure you all know the February is black history month. Of course, you are probably blissfully unaware of the real black history. This can only be blamed on the evil liberal media who fabricated stories about nonexistent people like Martin Luther King, Jr and Ray Charles. As always, a valiant conservative media watchdog like myself gets to set the record straight once again.
In the year 1964, scientists decided to a create a new color. They needed a new color to use for dark imagery. Also, President Kennedy demanded it because he really needed the goth vote in the next election. Anyway, the scientists worked for about five seconds and finally invented the color known as black. This invention was considered a bad creation for all, and it caused twenty years of nuclear winter. Thanks to President Reagan in the year 1982 however, the terrible "black plague" was ended. Legend has it that Reagan used his Republican voodoo powers to seal the evil color into a jellybean. The liberal media won't tell you this story of black because they are a bunch of pinko faggots who hate America and want to have gay orgies with French terrorists who hate baseball and apple pie!
