I’m sure most of you have seen the classic Disney movie Bambi. I’m sure you all loved it very much, because stories about cartoon dears are very enjoyable for the entire family. However, there is something very wrong with the world of Bambi. You see, being the CEO of ConspiroCorp (where we make conspiracies sound almost true®) I have stumbled upon a book made by Walt Disney himself. This book is an arcane text, filled with very dark stuff. There’s all sorts of black magic floating around in this book, thus proving that Disney is really evil. The feather in the cap of this evil company is their dark warlord known as Bambi. Here is a true picture of Bambi’s identity, not the cutie movie version.
Walt Disney used dark magic to create the perfect killing machine, Bambi. He disguised Bambi as a cute dear so it would have stealth capabilities. Disney wanted to destroy the competition, so he would periodically call upon Bambi to do so. However, Bambi was intelligent and soon begun acting on his own. You see that skull? That’s Walt Disney’s skull. The evil Bambi turned on his creator. He also is to blame for Pearl Harbor, Oklahoma City, the Spice Girls, and of course every new season of Friends. Beware of Bambi my friends.
