In the grand tradition of nearly every 13-year-old girl in the history of time, little Jena Rink is unhappy because she isn't the most popular girl in her junior high. Life is hard. She isn't even in the popular clique!...and her best friend is fat. But that's gonna change tonight. It's her thirteenth birthday party, and the popular clique has promised to make an appearance...so long as she does their homework first. Whatever. So, yeah, she piles on the coke-whore make-up, stuffs her bra, learns all the moves from that hot new "Thriller" video... and soon enough she's ready to party like it's 1985, Wedding Singer-style. But the party is over as soon as it begins. Turns out the popular clique were just using her to get their homework done! What people. So, as is the obvious solution here, Jena gets out her magic wishing dust and bangs her head repeatedly against a closet wall screaming out her desire to be 30 instead of 13 until she passes out.
Jena wakes up the next morning in a strange bed, and...holy shit, what's going on? Why does she have boobs? Why is there a naked man wandering around the apartment? Why is her coat pocket making mysterious, polyphonic noises? Whoa, she's 30. It's 2004. She got her wish. Now she's got to adjust...and it isn't going to be easy. Hilarious antics ensue.
Turns out she's done really, really well for herself. And has been for those years she missed. She was prom queen! But...she can't remember all that, and so she takes a, uh... mental health day off from work and tracks down that fat best friend of hers. Turns out he's not fat anymore! Turns out he's the brother from You Can Count on Me. Weird. She explains her situation, and it's up to him to help her adjust back into society. Turns out she was pretty much an insane bitch to him in those years he can't remember, but he's such a stand-up guy that he helps her out in her hour of need anyway. Helps her out a lot. Adorably romantic (albeit borderline creepy) antics ensue.
As the concept might imply, 13 Going on 30 works perfectly as a showcase for the lead actress' comic ability. The writing isn't phenomenally sharp in every scene, but what a delightful shock Jennifer Garner is here. I mean, I love Alias with all my soul, but...it's all action and melodrama. Between the endless strings of global near-catastrophes and the rapid disintegration of all the things she holds dear in her personal life, her Alias character doesn't exactly radiate goofy humor. But here she gets her opportunity to have some fun, and... whoa, does she seize it. The sheer giddiness in her performance is enough to make even the stalest dialogue feel vibrant.
That's not to say the supporting cast isn't working the charm, too. Marcia DeBonis shines in her minor role as Jena's secretary, Judy Greer makes an excellent mean girl, and Mark Ruffalo does remarkably well in keeping his character "adorably awkward" when it could've just as easily slid into "whoa, gross, creepy" territory.
But the acting's not all that's on. The soundtrack is amazing, featuring the likes of Rick Springfield, Pat Benatar, Michael Jackson, Madonna, Whitney Houston, and the Go-Gos. And...I feel it's important to mention that not only is "Why Can't I" by Liz Phair (recently heard in last year's Win a Date With Tad Hamilton! and the Mandy Moore true-to-life-no-really teen classic How to Deal) featured prominently on the soundtrack during the obligatory "Could I be falling in love?" sequence, a special instrumental version of the song is reprised for the climatic "I've got to stop this wedding before someone makes the biggest mistake of their life!" scene. It's mindblowing.
Plus watch out for a killer dance sequence, some major backstabbing, and an entire world of reality detachment.
A few minor squabbles aside, 13 Going on 30 is destined to be the most genuinely delightful by-the-numbers romantic comedy of the year, and... in the wake of Sandra Bullock's and Meg Ryan's recent disasters, those are getting harder and harder to come by. Romantic comedy would be a odd genre for Jennifer Garner, queen of badass, to fall into... but, if 13 Going on 30 is any indication, it may quite possibly end up being the perfect route for her post-Alias career. |
