The movie starts as NeShawn, a twentysomething "entrepreneur" (that means he doesn't have a job! LOL!) rushes to make his flight, carrying his doggie under his arm. But, oh no! The mean man at the plane won't let NeShawn bring the doggie on the plane! (I totally saw something like this on an episode of Airport on Bravo. They wouldn't let this woman take her puppy - even though it just sleeps! How mean! What kind of trouble could a loose puppy cause on a multi-hour plane ride? Geez.)
So NeShawn has to check his dog! THEN, on the plane, NeShawn is listening to his hip hop CD on his headphones and singing along. That was so funny! All the white people were like, "Whaaa? What is this 'hippy-hopalong' music?" But NeShawn doesn't get the chicken he wanted to eat, and has to eat this icky mystery meat, so of COURSE he gets the runs and has to run back to the bathroom! It was soooo hilarious! THEN!!! His butt gets STUCK IN THE TOILET! I was laughing so hard I almost peed myself. (But I tried not to, so I wouldn't have to run to the bathroom and maybe get my butt stuck! LOL!) Keep in mind that this was all in the FIRST FIVE MINUTES! So funny!
And then, to free NeShawn from the toilet, the stewardess tries to press one button, but she pushes the wrong one. Well, the one she pushes opens the baggage compartment!!! And NeShawn gets off the toilet in time to look out the bathroom window and see his doggie fly past, right into the engine and get killed! :( :( :(
So, of course he sues and he wins 100,000,000 dollars! And he starts his own airline! It's really awesome. It has first class, business class and LOW CLASS! HA HA! And there are all kinds of wacky characters on the plane, like a blind man who fingers a potato, thinking it's the woman beside him! (OMG, I hate when that happens!) And then there's Tom Arnold, but I don't know why he was in it, because he is white. Maybe he's like me and wanted to learn more about African Americans and their culture.
I'm glad I rented Soul Plane, because I learned some very important lessons about tolerance, and how black people - oops! I mean African Americans - aren't that different. They enjoy the same things white Americans do, liked friend chicken and smoking weed, something that the pilot, played by Snoop Dogg did through the whole movie, until he ate bad mushrooms and - hee hee, I don't want to spoil it for you, because it's so funny! There's also a really awesome strip club scene, and I totally learned about exotic drinks like Colt 45 and malt liquor and stuff. And did you know that black men all have huge penises? WoW!
The movie also makes a strong statement about gays. I think it's really super important to show that male flight attendants are just all gay, and that all gays, flight attendants or not, will drop anything for the chance at meaningless, anonymous sex! That was so interesting, and I like that I now know how to identify gays... So if I see a guy and think he's cute, if he has a sparkly necklace, a limp wrist and a slight speech impediment, I know I don't have a shot! Unless I have a huge black penis!!!
My other favorite parts of the movie were, like, the sassy (which should go without saying, because, apparently, all black women are sassy!) security guards strip-searching the hotties, and when Tom Arnold's daughter gave her very passionate speech about tea bagging and riding the bolgna pony. It's been far too long since I've had a heart to heart like that with my dad. Maybe we can watch Soul Plane together and he'll just know what I mean.
Thank you, Soul Plane. You da bomb, yo.
I guess there's still a lot I have to learn about being black.
