The United States of Leland
Just because you feature Kevin Spacey doesn't mean you're American Beauty. Please don't try to trick me into believing you are by using similar structure and voice over. See, the difference between you and American Beauty is that, well, American Beauty was good. (It also had Wes Bentley's ass, a feature you sorely lack.)
What you are, United States of Leland, is a slow movie, filled with way too many "artsy" shots, about a weirdo teenager (Ryan Gosling) who stabs and kills the retarded brother of his ex-girlfriend, who is played by Jena Malone, in a role I've never seen her play - the alluring, fucked-up outcast girl. What a revelation. Chris Klein also wowed me with his ability to play the sensitive, understanding boyfriend. Hollywood, take note!
United States of Leland, you're not meaningful. You're not deep. Get over it, you pretentious, self-important waste of celluloid.
Sincerely,
Colby
PS
I want my 92 minutes back, you son of a bitch.
In fact, this movie gets the dreaded
ANGRY CLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
