Frances' Adventure in Andyland
Okay, so, like I was running around buying groceries at the last minute, and then I remembered that today I was supposed to meet him! And my stupid brother kept telling me that he didn�t want to stay alone in the house, but I told him �This is Andrew W.K.! I have to go, even though I�m supposed to be babysitting you. You�re three, man. Grow up, already!� So I leave a bit later, after giving him a toy to chew on while I�m gone, and the drive over there was totally freaky. I was shaking, and all nervous and stuff. But then I finally got there, and I see there�s a big lineup outside the club. Ridiculous. I swear, my brother totally owes me, because I cut it so close � I got, like, the second last ticket! So I go in, wait a bit, and some time goes by, but then they come out! I don�t know why the rest of the band gets so much attention. I mean, Andrew is so totally hotter than all of them put together. Yummm. So, he sang and danced and the other dudes were helping, too, and then it was over. I had heard that Andrew met with fans after, so I went outside. It took, like, a really long time before he came out. Totally rude. But then I got his autograph on my boob and so it was totally worth it. He�s hot. I�m gonna marry him someday. And then when I came home, my stupid brother had to ruin my mood by being dumb and throwing up in my closet. I don�t know why he did that � I mean, it�s not like I gave him anything gross to eat. Just some pizza and ice cream. Weirdo. So that was, like, the coolest day EVER still. WK ROX!!!
Jerry's Story of a Savior
I don�t usually share this stuff with other people, but the experience I had the other night was so amazing I just have to let it out. I went to an Andrew W.K. show two weeks ago that completely changed my life. I was just there for a remedy to my usual Saturday night boredom, but what I got was a miracle. Now, I�m not talking about the usual weird �oh, everybody came together and they were happy� sort of thing, but an actual MIRACLE. After the show (I must admit, it was pretty good), I saw him outside in the parking lot on my way to my car. The club was so filled with people that night it took twenty minutes just to exit the club. So, I go up to him and congratulate him on his effort, and he shakes my hand. Really, really hard. Now, you see, for the previous few days I�d had a horrible cut on my index finger that hurt like hell, but when I woke up the morning after Andrew shook that hand, it didn�t hurt anymore! Sure, the doctor says �blah, blah, infection, blah blah, severe nerve damage, blah blah�� but all I know is it did hurt and now it doesn�t anymore. Thanks, Andrew WK!
Mike's Lucky Encounter with a Matchmaker
Dude! Andrew WK is the coolest dude EVER! Me and my buddies went to see him when he came yesterday and it was so awesome! The music is pretty great, and with the mosh pit there�s a lot of moving around so chicks can�t tell if you �accidentally� bump into them! Awesome! And Andrew even got this chick up on his shoulders during the show. Hey � he had his head between her legs on stage! Hot! And after the show all these chicks were crowding around him. I don�t know why, the guy�s kind of ugly. But he don�t want the chicks, and so me and the boys got our pick of the hot chicks who don�t get him but are still lookin for some action! Hells yeah! And he even gave us and the chicks free beer, which helped with the persuasion, if you know what I mean. Thanks for helping us get laid, WK!
Shari and Charlie's Rockstar Counselling
I first saw Andrew WK a month ago. Worried that my boyfriend would be jealous, I went to see him by myself, without mentioning it to Charlie. It was pretty uneventful, but a few days later my boyfriend saw the ticket stub and started crying. I don�t know why � I told him it was nothing. But he insisted that I should trust him with things, and to prove my love we should go see him together. So about two weeks ago, we did just that � we had to drive for four hours. I don�t know why we couldn�t have waited, but whatever. So, we see the show, and Charlie keeps crying. And I try to comfort him, but he won�t even look at me. Afterwards, Charlie runs up to Andrew when he sees him, and starts blabbing about how he�s so upset. And he says that a hug would make him feel better. And like I figured, Andrew obliged. Then Andrew got a really funny look on his face, and went limp but Charlie kept holding on. I think he was crying and didn�t want anyone to see his tears. Anyway, eventually Andrew backed away and left but Charlie had a big smile on his face. I swear, I don�t understand him. But at least my boyfriend isn�t mad at me anymore. Andrew, if you�re reading this, I screwed up my relationship but because of you it�s all okay. Thank you. I just wonder why I have to growl now all the time when we�re intimate�
Steve and Tim Rescue Andrew!
This isn�t so much a meeting kind of thing like the other testimonies here but it�s an experience so I figured I�d share, anyway. Once, I was at a McDonald�s and saw Andrew WK there, ordering some food. The employee said to him, �Would you like a Diet Coke with that?� and suddenly I saw some crazy person start yelling �Oh my god you sick mean f*** he�s not fat - I�m GONNA KILL YOU!!!� and proceeded to jump over the counter and started choking the poor person. It�s people like that crazy fan who give the rest of us fans a bad name. The weirdo didn�t even kick the employee in the crotch � that�s the first thing you do. But it�s okay, I had a word with the person after, gave the guy some tips, and we�ve become good friends. Now, whenever someone messes with Andrew, I�m there to put the stupid idiot in his place, and Tim�s right alongside me. Join the club. Stand up for Andrew, because lord knows he can�t do it himself!
Sara's Generous Gift
Hi my name is Sara and I saw Andrew yesterday and I wanted to write about it because I think it�s cool that other people did and I like to read other people�s stuff so I thought maybe someone would like to read about me. I think he�s nice and stuff, but boys are still yucky but I thought he�s kinda different. So my mom took me yesterday to see him and I remembered that he likes bunnies and I knew this before because for my birthday I asked for a bunny and I got one which was only a month before yesterday which was when I met Andrew. So we went and I saw him and brought my bunny who�s name is Sally like my friend from school who moved away last year and I said hi and he said hi and I told him I had a bunny if he�d like to see it and he said yes. My mom got it out of the car and I held it out to him and he was smiling I think I made him happy which made me happy and then he reached out and then he held it and petted it for a few minutes before someone yelled and said they all had to go somewhere I don�t know where but they had to leave and then he just left. He didn�t even give me back Sally which was bad because I liked Sally even though I kinda didn�t because I always had to feed her and stuff which wasn�t fun and she was kinda boring and gross and did you know that bunnies eat their own poop? So first my friend Sally was gone and then my bunny Sally was gone. But I think it�s okay because he said thanks and he looked happy and so as long as he�s happy I�m happy. I think my mom doesn�t get it though because she got all mad and stuff and called the police and even whenever I mention him now she gets mad and stuff and calls him a bad man who steals bunnies from little girls. But I�m not a little girl � I�m almost seven, you know and� (Editor�s note: the letter continued for quite a while longer but didn�t once refer to anything even remotely related to Andrew so I cut it out. Tough luck, kid.)