Another Quiet Day At The LAW Office

Another Quiet Day At the LAW Office

What started as an innocent message I sent to the LAW list developed into a round robin that kept the people on the list amused and busy for almost a year. It also resulted in a separate fan fiction and an April Fool's Joke. It served its purpose - to get everyone talking again - quite well and also was a lot of fun. Each section starts with the name of the writer and the date the message was posted. The only changes made were spelling and grammatical errors, otherwise it's exactly how it was posted.

Heather (Feb. 11, 2003)

Heather walked into the LAW office and glanced around the near empty room. "Where is everybody?" she asked out loud.

"I have no idea," came a softly accented reply.

A smile came to her lips. "Hi, Ezra."

"Good morning, Heather," the southerner answered, dimpling. "How are you?"

"Good," she stated softly. Chuckling, she added, "Busy, but good."

Ezra's smile widened until his gold tooth was visible. "It would seem you're not the only one who's busy," he replied.

"Guess not," Heather said. "Well, I have to get back to work."

Ezra nodded. "Mike would be completely lost without you," he agreed.

Heather beamed at the southerner. "I'll stop by later, maybe someone else will have shown up."

"Perhaps," Ezra replied. "So long."

"Bye."

***

Kim (Feb. 11, 2003)

Just as the door shut softly, signaling Heather's departure, another door opened in the wide expanse of the LAW office.

"Who was that?" Kim asked groggily, shutting the door which led into Chris' office. The blond PI was gone for the day, so she had decided to make use of his couch for a quick nap. That was, until she has heard the voices talking in the next room.

"That was the illustrious Ms. Heather, she was searching for intelligent life on her break," Ezra looked up from his desk as she walked over to him.

"And she came here?" she mused and was rewarded with a grin from the southerner.

"Yes, most disturbing, is it not? But you must take into account that I was here to deem her search complete," Ezra put his hand atop his chest and smiled.

She rolled her eyes with a shake of her head, "Of course, how silly of me to forget," she stated like a proper Southern-gal accent, perhaps like one you'd have found in the Old West.

"Are you taking your leave?" Ezra asked, watching as she exchanged her vest for her jacket on the coat rack.

"Yeah, it's time for me to get out of his nut-house, less I become one myself," she watched as the LAW man's brow rose in contemplation. "Ok, more of one," she added and he just tipped his head to the side with the 'keep going' look on his face. "Ok ok, before they create a look-alike statue of me and worship just how messed up my brain is. There, are you happy?"

He grinned and leaned back in his chair, "Extremely."

Once more she rolled her eyes and gave a slight wave of her hand, "See you tomorrow, and don't work too hard."

"I wouldn't dream of it," he joked and watched as she left the room.

***

Ann (Feb. 11, 2003)

"Psst--hey Vin" Buck stage-whispered to the neighboring desk.

"What is it, Buck?" Tanner didn't look up from his work.

"Is that another one�?"

Vin looked up in time to see a rather rumpled young woman unceremoniously crumple into one of the reception area chairs. Vin's eyes widened in surprise. Two in one day�When's the last time *that* happened? And, hey, isn't that� "Ann?"

The figure in the chair proffered a half-hearted wave of acknowledgement. "Hey guys."

Buck rose from his desk and strode over to Ann, a broad grin on his face. "Damn girl! Haven't seen you in a couple of eons�Where've you been keeping yourself?"

"Oh, work mostly�Say, is Nathan around?"

"I am now," said the man himself as he walked through the same door Ann had entered a few minutes before. "What can I do for you Miss�Ann, is that you?"

"None other," she smiled�Actually *smiled*. Just being back with these guys was making her feel better already. "As for what you can do�well, I need a little massage."

"What!" Buck was indignant. "You don't need Nathan for that darlin'. I'll be happy to�"

Ann raised her had to cut him off. "Not that I have any doubts about your technique, Mr. Wilmington, but this is purely therapeutic transaction." She turned back to the medically trained LAW man. "And I'll need a written receipt if it's not too much trouble-- I fully intend to claim this as an expense."

Nathan chuckled. "By all means--have a seat. Where are you having trouble?"

"Neck, shoulders, hands." Nathan nodded slowly. A fairly routine case of secretaritis. He gently placed his fingertips on his patient's shoulders then gave a low whistle. "Damn, Ann, you really *are* coiled up�And I'd say it's from more than just a little typing�"

Ann sighed. She'd just been starting to cheer up, and now she had to dredge up some unfortunate memories. "Our 'Network Administrator' decided to fix something that wasn't broke�" She paused as all three men winced in sympathy�"And before you can say 'server crash' it was all just�chaos. Two and a half weeks of anarchy of the 'widening gyre, center cannot hold' variety. And then, when it was over�" Ann just shook her head.

"Y'know," Vin spoke up, "ya coulda called and asked to borrow JD?"

Ann laughed. "Oh, don't think that didn't occur to me. The thing is� my boss ain't exactly the sort who's willin' to put out the money for 'outside consultant's'."

"Yeah," Vin grinned "mine neither�How do you think we wound up with JD?"

The other two men laughed at that, but Nathan's expression grew more serious as he switched his attention from Ann's shoulders to her hands and noted the severe discoloration under her fingernails.

"Toner" Ann blurted out before Nathan could get too concerned. "Not serious, but probably permanent."

Nathan smiled at the self-diagnosis. "Say, did you know Heather was here earlier today?"

"Really?"

"According to Ezra she was here this morning."

"And I missed her? Damn! It would've been nice to--Wait�how would Ezra know she was here this morning?"

Buck and Vin, who had by this time returned to their work areas, turned to look at each other.

"Lady has a point," said Tanner.

"Yeah," Buck nodded. "No way Standish'd be here that early�'less he was up to something? Nathan?"

Nathan looked up to find his two co-workers looking at him expectantly.

"What?" he asked, a little too sharply. "How on earth should I know?"

Buck snorted while Vin just rolled his eyes and started to hum what sounded to Ann suspiciously like a Dick Dale tune.

Ann's eyes darted warily amongst the three men. "Um, guys�did I miss something???"

***

Heather (Feb. 26, 2003)

Heather peered around and smiled. "Hey, Ezra," he called softly. "Are you here?"

A soft chuckle was heard and Ezra peered out of the conference room. "Right here," he said. "How are you this mornin'?"

"Busy," she answered, rolling her eyes slightly.

The southerner smiled and glanced around. "Alone again," he said, waving an arm around the empty room. "Do you think the others suspect anythin'?"

Heather looked dubious. "I think we raised their suspicions when you were here so early," she replied honestly.

Ezra shrugged helplessly. "What was I supposed to do, my dear? You practically get up with the sun and a meeting was necessary."

"I know," Heather said, grinning. "So," she said, glancing around cautiously. "Are you ready?"

"Nearly," the southerner replied, flashing his dimples. "The others won't know what hit them."

Heather grinned even more broadly. "I gotta run," she said, turning for the door.

Ezra nodded. "So long, my dear," he called.

Heather waved and bounded back out of the office.

***

Selene (Feb. 26, 2003):

Selene walked in the hallway and when she heard hushed voices she stopped and pulled back behind a open door, she heard Ezra and Heather talking:

**

"Nearly," the southerner replied, flashing his dimples. "The others won't know what hit them."

Heather grinned even more broadly. "I gotta run," she said, turning for the door.

Ezra nodded. "So long, my dear," he called.

**

Selene pulled back even more when Heather walked by her, not seeing her.

'Won't know what hit us huh?' She thought. 'Seems to me we should find out. Who would be best to help me? Hmmm, Kim, Ann and Lisa. No LAW men, they might be in on it.'

And Selene walked out of the office, silent and looking around carefully. Searching for Kim, Lisa and Ann to help her find out what Ezra and Heather where up to.

***

Ann (Feb. 26, 2003)

Ann was gloating. "I KNEW IT!"

Selene glared as Inez shot them a curious look from behind the bar.

Ann winced and lowered her voice to a high whisper. "I knew there was something going on!"

Selene sighed and nodded. "Yes � yes you did. Now � are you going to sit around being proud of yourself or are you going to help me figure out what exactly that something is?"

Ann leaned back in the booth and crossed her arms over her chest. "Ohhh�So now we need help, do we?"

"We"? What "we"??? Selene couldn't help but wonder if Americans actually knew how to speak English.

"I mean, two weeks ago when somebody first remarked upon this anomalous behavior, what help was to be had then? Hmm?"

Selene gritted her teeth in a fairly impressive (considering the circumstances) approximation of a smile. "None."

"That's exactly right," Ann nodded, taking another long sip of Guinness. "So why should I be induced to help you now?"

Selene was about to question why she'd even asked when she noticed that the other woman's mouth was twitching in a desperate effort not to giggle. She was able to relax into a genuine smile before answering: "Because 1) You so want to know; and 2) Back in Post #1235 you said --and I quote--'we Dutch gals gotta watch each other's backs'."

Ann was grinning outright now. "You got that right! Of course I'll help you�on one condition � no more weather updates from The Hague."

" But I don't live in The Hague."

"You know what I mean�it was 8 <mumble-expletive-mumble> degrees when I left for work this morning and I really don't need to hear how it's springtime in Delft."

"But I don't live in�never mind. It's a deal."

"Excellent!" Ann hoisted her nearly empty pint glass and clanked it against Selene's drink to toast their alliance. We'll show Heather an' Ezra that they aren't the only people around here who know how to conspire! "So...What's the plan?"

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