| ��hey, I understand Mera was able to look after the kids for a bit yesterday � I appreciate that, Pacey.� �Aw, she doesn�t mind. God, she loves your kids � that Mitchell especially.� �And she�s awesome with him, man. I mean � he�s overly sensitive to people around him, but that�s never been a problem where Mera was concerned. I think he scares a lot of people � but she�s just so tolerant. Like�� Pacey let the silence fall between them, not wanting to finish his friends� sentence. �Tolerant like Andie.� Even Dawson, who had known Mera since Pacey had brought her home, could not deny her striking similarities to Andie McPhee. Her giving nature, her utter acceptance and inclusion of t hose different from herself. When Dawson�s second child, Mitchell, had been born 8 years earlier and had suffered the effects of cerebral palsy � Mera had been intrigued. She spent hours with Joey � learning about his special needs. She offered to spend time with him, playing, while Joey ran errands and did housework. When he was fitted for a wheelchair, for leg braces, for a walker � Mera was there. She taught herself sign language when Joey found that Mitchell responded to it. Their first child, Catie, was 2 when Mitchell was born. Mera had already grown attached to her � a �cousin� of sorts. With Mitchell � Mera had to regulate her time, to ensure she wasn�t neglecting Catie�s needs as well. Now, with Dawson away frequently and Joey�s busy schedule � Mera found herself babysitting quite often. Pacey knew that on more than one occasion, the �job� had ruined her plans � last night, for example. And though it often did bother her � she tried hard not to let it show. She was dedicated to those kids. ��Witter?� Pacey phased back into the conversation. �Yeah, man. I gotta go � it was cool hearing from you. I�ll tell Mera you said hi.� �Sure thing. And Pacey? Just remember, you were a teenager at one time too, okay?� �Dawson, that�s what worries me, my friend.� He hung up, replacing the phone in its cradle. Glancing around the kitchen, he saw � as though for the first time � what it held. Two small laminated drawings were clipped to a wall beside the calendar. Both ere filled with colour, a child�s shaky printing in each proclaimed its artists, Mera McPhee. He�s always known she�d been gifted. At three years of age, Mera had printed her own name. It was shaky, and somewhat unrecognizable, but he�d known what it represented and so had she. At five, when she started kindergarten, Mera had been able to print her name clearly. She could write sentences, spell difficult words, write poetry. Her teacher had proclaimed her to �gifted�, but at the time Pacey hadn�t understood the word. He knew nothing about child development � when a child should be able to print, write � to whistle and sing and repeat chants. He hadn�t even known that she could talk for the first little while. Dredging up memories he forced himself back to that fateful morning � 14 years ago � when Andie had died. He remembered it all too clearly, even now. He recalled her phone call that morning � waking him from a slumber. He remembered finding her at her home � battered and ready for a change. He had never felt more hatred in his entire life, than he had felt that day. Hatred, sadness, guilt. The guilt that still burned him deep within. He had never been able to fully recover from that. From knowing it was his presence that had jeopardized Andie�s life in the first place. It was his stubbornness that had enraged her husband Ralston so much that he had drawn his weapon. That it was his life that should have ended. Ralston had aimed the gun at his face, then fired. He hadn�t realized until after the initial shock had worn off, but it was Andie who�d saved him. She had thrown herself in front of Ralston. She had taken the bullet intended for him � the bullet that had killed her. What if he�d just forgiven Andie for her infidelity � all those summers ago? Then she would have stayed in Capeside, never returning to Providence into the controlling grasp of Ralston Mackey. What if he hadn�t pushed Andie to leave Ralston? What if he had just gone home to Capeside and tried to forget about Andie and her new life? But no matter what he thought, whatever type of scenario his mind cooked up � the facts were all there. If things hadn�t happened the way they had � if every detail hadn�t been the way it was, he�d never have known Mera. She would have stayed at home, suffering backhands alongside her mother in the Mackey home. Or worse still � she�d never have been born at all. And Pacey couldn�t life with that �what if�. Though he hated spending every day without Andie � he couldn�t imagine spending every day without Mera either. He remembered Andie�s instructions to take Mera � raise her as his own. He had gone to the babysitters� address, as listed in Andie�s wallet. He had told the sitter the details � but by then the police had already apprehended the little girl. He had gone directly to the orphanage. The director had let him in to visit the girl. Her blonde hair was long, straight, pulled into 2 uneven pigtails. He explained his intentions � adopting her eventually. The police had been more helpful than he�d expected. Supposing they knew about Ralston � had known what had been going on, and had done nothing. Knew they were also partly responsible for her death too. When it came down to it, there never really was anyone else. Nobody from the Mackey family was willing to acknowledge the orphaned girl. Andie�s brother Jack was off in New York at school, and her father was ill. He was all she had � little as it was. |